[NolaMae]

It's been 14 years ago that I was diagnosed with bipolar. It's been a long journey and it's taken a toll on my mental and physical well-being. I've don't even remember how it feels to be normal, much less well. I've been on so many drug combos, a lot of which just haven't worked. I feel so beaten down by this disease and life in general. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have the strength to go on.

[Cocosurviving]

Hello..... I was diagnosed in 2012. I started therapy to help me deal with everything. It took about a year but I was able to accept my diagnoses. During that same time I also was going to a support group. It helped me a lot as well too. As far as meds I’ve been lucky. I was put on Lithium and Risperdal they worked. I know some people are med resistant. Good luck

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by NolaMae

It's been 14 years ago that I was diagnosed with bipolar. It's been a long journey and it's taken a toll on my mental and physical well-being. I've don't even remember how it feels to be normal, much less well. I've been on so many drug combos, a lot of which just haven't worked. I feel so beaten down by this disease and life in general. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have the strength to go on.

Please hang in there. Your answer might be right around the corner just out of sight. It can get better! Sending big hugs.

[thoughtsofast]

Originally Posted by NolaMae

It's been 14 years ago that I was diagnosed with bipolar. It's been a long journey and it's taken a toll on my mental and physical well-being. I've don't even remember how it feels to be normal, much less well. I've been on so many drug combos, a lot of which just haven't worked. I feel so beaten down by this disease and life in general. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have the strength to go on.

sending lots of hugs and a lot of strength to you. You have been brave fighting it for so long and that is an inspiration. I don't know if it is required to be or feel 'normal' to get by with things anymore. Be affected by the medication , get beaten down, be whatever you are feeling and still keep moving ahead. That is a normal. That helps me get by at times. Much love.

[Blueberrybook]

Hugs...I've felt that way too. I also had one glorious 6 month period where I felt stable and normal, so I know it's possible. I'm always looking to get back to that. Like you, I've been on meds a long time, started them when I was 19 and am 40 now and took them except for the 9 months I was pregnant with my daughter (though I do think maybe the OB was giving me Zoloft or Xanax or something near the end of my pregnancy).

I was mis-diagnosed with major depressive disorder for over 10 years, and I really feel that being on all those antidepressants did a number on me. Not to mention, I had to use a county health system due to being in grad school and having no insurance, and they had me on something like 12 meds at once at one point. Plus, I've got the anxiety/panic disorder and PTSD and fibromyalgia and am getting over ulcer surgery. I think if I ever feel "normal" again, it will be a miracle, but because it happened once, I know it's possible.

The occasional good day gets me through, but I have a lot of days when I feel like you, beaten down, depressed, etc. All I know is to just keep going on. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and if that's the case, I must be a strong person indeed.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’ve been fighting for five years. From 2016 -2017 I had about a year and a half stable. So I know it’s posdible. Just trying to get back there. Haven’t been since I had to go off the one med a year ago. Trying to find a new combo. I think I’m onto something with my current one, I just need to get up to the right dose of lamictal. It’s possuble! Keep fighting.

[liveforsummer]

The last few weeks have been as normal as I get. Still mild agitation and irritation, I’m able to hide it and just slam a cupboard once in a while. 80% better than this time last year.

Hugs

[BipolaRNurse]

I wouldn't say I feel "normal", for I don't know what that is. I've never been "normal". But I do know what it's like to be well. Everyone's definition of "well" looks just a little different from everyone else's, but I think if you can go about most of your daily activities without thinking about what a miracle it is that you can do them, you're doing great.

Well? No.
Normal? Normal for me. I don't think I want to be Earth's "normal" anyways.
Functioning? Most of the time.

Why is thinking it's a miracle you can do things a problem? I think it's pretty awesome that I can take care of myself and even work a little bit because that wasn't the case when I was psychotic for like five years straight.

[wiretwister]

normal ... no I am not a setting on my washer ..lol ..

[Unrigged64072835]

I don't feel well or normal. I feel stable, with the occasional ups and downs. That's good enough for me.

Normal is a relative term, and if I felt "well" I'd most likely be hypomanic.

I am in a good place now. It took time and a change of living circumstances where I was no longer on the edge. I still have a great deal of anxiety but the depression part of bipolar is mostly behind me. Life is definitely liveable right now.

[Pookyl]

I feel well and normal. Actually I feel great. But the reality is also that I’m currently manic and in hospital. One persons normal is another persons abnormal.

[pirilin]

I feel the same way I was born. Hyper and happy.

I feel well and very grounded. When I'm angry, it is right that I am angry, when I'm happy it's because I have reason to and it's not out of control. The thing about feeling truly well is that I trust myself. I've grown to like feeling grounded.

Normal? Well, we can definitely our own normals. What was "normal" at various times in the past is not my new normal. I guess I still want to get fully back to a certain level of functioning, but not necessarily one I had in the past.

I don't think I've ever felt normal. I have been bipolar since at least 14 when traumatic events came into my life. Even before that, I was an extremely shy and insecure kid, with a mother who was manic-depressive (called bipolar disorder today).

I have however had periods of extreme happiness, which I realize now was probably hypomania. I was actually diagnosed at 29. I kept my deep bouts of depression a huge secret from everyone, even my doctor, as I was so ashamed of it. Drank heavily to overcome my shyness and depression. Marijuana was also in the picture.
I am 59 now, and very very tired of this whole cycle. I was mostly unmedicated as my mother was addicted to prescription drugs to help herself deal with her bipolar, and so meds became bad in my mind.
This disorder has taken it's toll on me, and I am so ready to go. If I died tomorrow, it would be a godsend.