[bewise93]

Originally Posted by Supreme Soviet

My pappy died of pancreatic cancer 16 years ago, the most traumatic event of my life. Happy Father's Day, everybody!

My dad died when I was 7. I understand how sad father's day can be.

feeling mostly good today (even if a little bored)

difficult night yesterday though- issues with flashbacks and later on in the night a few mini seizures.

but quiet day today. staying inside- I need to get food for tonight... that's it.

weather is hot though, urg. I have the windows open though so should be okay

[giddykitty]

I want a change in my life. Even with the anti-depressant I'm still feeling miserable. Actually, I think I'm scared. I'm scared my guests won't like me because my husband doesn't really like me right now. Frankly, I don't really like him right now. It's a mess! I'm very distraught. I still am not seeing a therapist. I fear if I do the DBT that it will take up too much of my time away from my guests, not to mention, make me too emotional. I'm kind of about to snap though. Ugh, I really don't know what I'm saying. Not really snapping, but afraid of it getting there again. And by snapping I just mean bawling my eyes out and probably screaming at my husband in a hushed voice, getting paranoid that everyone hates me. That kind of ****. *sigh

[Miss Laura]

High anxieties all day been lying on sofa all day so unsure why I'm anxious. Watched tv all 3 world cup matches. Slept some. Had breakfast and tea skipped lunch. Listening to music. Yet still sad and anxious

I just got an appointment with a prospective new therapist. It was a bit of work to finally get someone to call me back. I had originally had some criteria for therapists that I had to loosen a bit, but I haven't loosened the requirement that they take my insurance. The therapist I meet next Monday sounded pleasant, though. Her profile looked like a potential match. We'll see. I've had such terrible luck. My therapist of 5.5 years closed her practice back in March. I found a WONDERFUL replacement, but then out of the blue she had to move her practice over 1 hours drive away. I have to admit that I'm not looking forward to starting all over again, although I said that about my recent WONDERFUL therapist.

So I have one therapist I contacted that is yet to contact me. If she is like most of the others, she won't ever call back.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

So I've been off my meds for 2-3 weeks after only being on them for 3 weeks cause I can't stay on them. Prior to this I was off my meds for 3 and a half months. I just can't seem to take them.

In with not taking my meds I have been manic since Nov. My life turned in Nov when my Mum who is 61 years old had a sever stroke. It came on suddenly. She's doing good and is finally out of the hospital after 7 months in the hospital and rehab. She was paralysed down her right side but is slowly regaining it. And lost her speech. Again slowly regaining it. We thought we were going to lose her. But thankfully she is alive and we have her for hopefully another wee while. The day she dies is the day I die too.

Now after 7 months of keeping my family together I'm depressed. They rely on me to not be ill. I have kept everything from them as they don't need my dramas on top of ours as a families. I don't even know if my Mum knows I have Bipolar. Her mind is sketchy for details.

I'm exhausted yet I am caring for my Mum as she doesn't want carers in. I've cried I've lost it and I've cried some more. But my Mum is my Mum at the end of the day. I love her.

So yeah it's been a rollercoaster of 7 months and I'm flying between mania and depression.

Oh wow, what a lot going on. Lots of hugs. Hope you can find a solution you can live with.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Father's Day is not the best day to begin with. Family troubles -- sister acting up, as per usual. I'm too old for this. I don't need the stress!

Love to all!


WC

Lots of hugs to you.

You're right; you don't need the stress!

[Unrigged64072835]

For a quiet day I was a little productive.

Got appt to see pnurse tomorrow. Printed up last blood work results for that. Will talk about the side effects and what I can do. Cogentin didn't work and now Artane makes the TD worse. I just hope I don't have to switch from Latuda, but I probably will have to. I also need to get gabapentin and Viibryd renewed but won't know until the appt if that will happen.

Got my CPAP supplies ordered, finally. Yay!

Moved canned goods out of the garage (which was blazing hot) into our already-packed tiny pantry.

Had to spend a couple of times lying down because I was hot and tired. Didn't sleep well last night either because of the heat. It'll start to cool down tomorrow, thank goodness.

We have an old AC unit that had problems. We're checking it out now to put upstairs.

So that was a quiet day, LOL.

Nervous about tomorrow and Thursday (for the ENT appt). The lump under my chin is there but now there is fat obscuring the site. Ugh!

After dinner I think I'm going to work on my playlists some more. I finally got down to the Ms I think.

Mood is anxious but okay.

[Scooter9]

A feeling-low day today. I watched the world cup with my son and then had lunch with him. I did some work around the house to keep moving.

My thoughts aren't as dark as they were last week but I'm still feeling low. Maybe the lithium is very slowly starting to work, or maybe it's the good weather. I'll take either!

Hypomanic! This hypersexuality will be the end of me!

[hopeless2015]

Decent day. I meant to put lasagna together for tonight's supper yesterday but it just didn't happen. We just did fend for yourself night for supper and lasagna is in oven now so we just have to warm up tomorrow.

Been under heat advisory since Friday, super hot, I hate to see the new power bill!! Supposed to start cooling off in next few days though.

HUGS to those who want or need them

[Blueberrybook]

I didn't get much accomplished today. My husband and I took our daughter to the dentist. She has a baby tooth that is not falling out, and the adult tooth is growing in behind it. We weren't sure if the dentist needed to extract the baby tooth, but she said since the adult tooth is a canine, it is the strongest tooth in the mouth and will push the baby tooth out of the way on its own and showed my daughter a more effective way of wiggling it with her fingers because her tongue can't reach it due to the adult tooth coming in.

I don't know why, but at some point at the dentist's office, I had ANOTHER once of those horrible panic attacks, the sort that lasts 3 hours, not 10 minutes. After lunch, I had to lie down. Even breathing didn't work. I finally took my fibromylgia muscle relaxer (tizandine), which often makes me sleepy and fell asleep. When I awoke, I was finally better. Moodwise, I was OK other than the panic attack, not happy, not sad, even keel. But this is about the 3rd or 4th of these new long panic attacks I've had in a month. Luckily, I already had an appointment to see my pdoc scheduled for tomorrow, and I will definitely bring it up to him and ask if maybe I could have something to take to break those type of attacks, especially when I can't just lie down. We'll see.

Another day without falling, so that was good at least. Didn't get any office organization done though between the dentist and the panic attack.

[wildflowerchild25]

I got discharged from IOP today!!! Finally! It’s a three week program and I’ve been there six effing weeks. It was time for me to GO. I went to an Indian buffet (by myself) to celebrate. It was delicious. I’m still not hungry I ate so much lol. Now I just need to find things to fill my time.

I’m running into all sorts of issues with unemployment. I have the phone appointment tomorrow. We will see what happens. If they deny me I will immediately start applying to retail stores around me and hopefully get a job at one of those to tide me over until I can find full time work. Recent customer service experience might even help me at this point. Who knows.

I’m also getting my scar cover up tattoo tomorrow! I’ve been waiting for this for a year. I’m so excited. It’s going to be so gorgeous. I’m a little nervous because it’s a new artist to me but I’ve seen her portfolio and I’m impressed with her work. I think it’ll work out. As long as she can work with scar tissue. But the scars are well healed and more like normal skin. I’ll just be happy to have something ugly turned into something beautiful and close that chapter of my life. After that it’s just getting cover ups on both my thighs so I can no longer self harm. I won’t do it on my lower legs anymore and I’m not self conscious of those scars for the most part so I’m not as worried about those but maybe someday I’ll get those covered as well. I dunno.

Going well going well going well!

[bpforever1]

I am doing ok. I met another man online who I will meet tomorrow morning for coffee. We shall see how it goes. He is an investment banker and is Japanese. He is older and nice. He is very talkative and tells many stories. I find him fascinating.


I taught this morning. And, I have a meeting this afternoon.

I am doing ok.

[porcelainboy]

I let things get way too bad and refused to tell anyone until I completely snapped. Luckily no harm came to anyone emotionally and no harm came to myself physically, but the stress has gotten to be so much that I can't handle it. Ever since I started HRT my mood cycles have shifted very predictably from 3 months hypo/4 months depressed to 3 weeks hypo/10 months depressed or mixed, and my depressive episodes have gotten significantly worse.
Regardless, I quit therapy about 6 months ago but after my explosion, I was encouraged to go back. I'm finally going to pursue ECT as well, as long as my application for financial assistance goes through. Having treatment-resistant bipolar is a wild ride. Let's hope that ECT does at least something to help.

In the meantime, I've gotta figure out a way to manage.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day wherever they are.

After several weeks doing great on 600 mg Seroquel XR, the increase eventually easing a mania, I'm starting to be a little over sedated by the dose. I wish my psychiatrist would lower the next time I see him, but I doubt that he will. After my next appointment, I won't see him for five weeks because of his annual summer vacation. Normally he's reachable during most shorter vacations, but not this one. Instead, he arranges for a fill-in psychiatrist. Once I even saw a fill-in, but it is far from ideal. We'll see what he says.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

After several weeks doing great on 600 mg Seroquel XR, the increase eventually easing a mania, I'm starting to be a little over sedated by the dose. I wish my psychiatrist would lower the next time I see him, but I doubt that he will. After my next appointment, I won't see him for five weeks because of his annual summer vacation. Normally he's reachable during most shorter vacations, but not this one. Instead, he arranges for a fill-in psychiatrist. Once I even saw a fill-in, but it is far from ideal. We'll see what he says.

I encourage you to advocate for your self and let him know you would like it lowered.

[Unrigged64072835]

Pnurse took me off Latuda, put me on Trileptal, and I go back in a month. If I need an AP she'll put me on Invega. That's the only one I haven't tried that's on the military formulary. Saphris is not. She let me keep the Latuda in case I have withdrawal symptoms. I really hope this works. If not I'll call in and see her sooner.

Will be going back and getting meds so keeping it short.

Hugs to everyone who wants them.

[bewise93]

Having a terrible day. I have no energy to do anything. I feel like a slob.

[Scooter9]

Continuing to feel down and low but I'm hanging on. No positive thoughts today unfortunately. But my younger son was around, had lunch with him, then drove him to an appointment, so that was a bonus.

[Nammu]

My do or referred me to a T today. Wants me to work on motivation. Hmmpth want to motivate me help me win the lottery so I don't need to worry about financial debt. I'd join a Y or something if I had the money.

SSDD
Still going up on the clozaril, but now I can take some zyprexa as needed. I just took 5mg and I hope it calms me down because I am NOT in a safe place right now.

[Blueberrybook]

I had a decent day today. I saw the pdoc. He changed up a few meds and said next visit, we might try Xanax XR for anxiety instead of Klonopin, that maybe I had built up a tolerance to it (which could be true, I have taken it many years). I did have an absolute moment of panic when I gassed up the car, and I could hardly get it started at the gas station. After my pdoc appointment, I took it to the mechanic, but they were busy today, and they can't get to it until tomorrow. We don't need another bill but what can you do? I think it is likely the starter going out though my mom told me once something similar happened to her, and it was the battery. I hope it's the battery, but it was just replaced last year. Guess it could be a dud. If it's the battery, AAA will have to replace it for free. They have a guarantee on their car batteries for a certain amount of time, and I only got the new one less than a year ago from them.

I did some more work paring down my books. It is hard and physically exhausting. Now, I am out of space on my office floor. I have 2 boxes of books to take to the library (hopefully tomorrow) and 6 boxes to sell to the used book store. The used bookstore won't take independent authors or advanced reader's editions of books, so I give them to the library. Because the Friends of the Library are non-profit, they are allowed to sell them and what doesn't sell goes to hospitals, senior homes, etc.

Tomorrow, I have to take my daughter to the pediatrician for her 10 year well child exam. Luckily, it is close to the used bookstore. I just hope it won't be pouring rain tomorrow.

Mood is pretty stable, other than the car panic, but I think that would happen to a lot of people with car trouble, especially when they have an iffy cell phone (mine's cracked from the fall I took Sunday a week ago) and now very finicky.

[Pookyl]

Grrr. My mood has dropped and it’s not even 3 weeks since hospitalisation.

[Cocosurviving]

My day was decent. I talked to my oldest daughter a lot she was having a hard day. Once she was home and laying down I felt better. I went to a BP support group meet. It was better than the first one I went to. My youngest daughter made a cherry cream cheese pie with graham cracker crust.