[gina_re]

So I officially didn't do anything today. I didn't even have an appetite. I had to force myself to eat something before I go to bed. What's with the lack of appetite today? Hopefully I can do all that I promised that I'll get done today, tomorrow. At least my nephew is staying here, so that helps break up the day.

[bpforever1]

I am tired. I went to work and ate at a nice restaurant. Then, my manager called me and asked me to work this Friday too. I said I would. I do a lot of substitution work. It is ok. I'm at the point where I like my schedule but could do a little more work. I work part-time and travel long distances. I get tired easily. I am doing fine but at times wonder if I should do full-time work. However, I don't think I can manage full-time work. I become easily stressed and tired from what I'm doing now. I am satisfied with what I have now. I wish I could do more of everything but know I have limitations. At least, I try to enjoy life with the little things I can do in my life. Thus, I'm happy.


My mother and I talked today before work. She seems fine but dozes off while talking. I realize she is doing well for her age but she is pushing herself to do her chores. I think it is good for her to have things to do rather than sit around and do nothing. I won't complain if she sleeps while talking to me. She is old and needs to rest while she can.


My boyfriend is nice to me. I will continue seeing him. I don't know when my parents should meet him. But, for now, I don't think he needs to meet them. He is good to me. I like him very much. If all we do is talk when we meet, it is fine with me. We go places too but it is so hot here and muggy. We stay inside when the weather is too hot. I enjoy his companionship and hope we can be best friends.


I take my medication daily and feel ok. I am tired but this is nothing new. I eat too much and know I have to cut down on my eating or else do more exercise. I want to eat all the delicious food I see but know I have to have more discipline or else pop like a over-filled balloon.


I'm doing fine and hope that my health remains stable. I am tired but happy about my situation despite my parents' current condition. My parents will eventually realize they have to change their current activities to survive. I will wait for them to make this decision. My priority is to take care of myself. I am doing well and can't complain.

[bpforever1]

I need to sleep. I will try to go to bed now.

****. I literally just accidentally took a 2nd dose of rexulti, not remembering that I took it two hours prior. I took 8mg instead of 4mg, and well, 4mg is the max dosage.

I hope nothing bad happens. My pdoc's assistant says that your breathing can slow down a lot and make it difficult to breathe at all. And apparently it can make you fall asleep at the wheel if you're driving. (I've never been sedated by Rexulti, though.)

Thankfully I'm at my own apartment, albeit by myself. I hope I don't get breathing problems. And I don't want to take a klonopin to relax myself because then I'll get sedated and might fall asleep and die from not breathing. I also don't want anymore drugs in my system at this time!!

But I guess in other "good" news, my grandma made it through the night. She's been off her psych meds, though, and she's giving the hospital all sorts of problems. Hallucinating, very delusional, refusing to sleep (because she's not tired), extremely talkative, trying to escape by taking her oxygen OUT, etc..

I love her dearly, but I fear that she's accidentally going to kill herself, since she CANNOT breathe well without the oxygen. There's a reason the hospital is giving it to her and a reason she's in the bed. I blame the nursing home for this. They let her get really bad before deciding, "oh, hey... I guess we should send her to the hospital... right? Or we could wait another day and let things get worse and worse."

[Tucson]

I am here. The pain in my leg keeps me on the sofa. I have been doing absolutely nothing. The times I really need to do errands end up making my leg hurt even more. It was pretty intense last night. I avoided taking any Tylenol, but if that happens again, I will take some form of painkiller. I told my daughter that if the pain becomes too intense I will go to the ER. Otherwise, if the pain is still here by the end of the week, I will make an appointment with my clueless PCP.

I have been looking for professional jobs. However, my brain has not been operating well at all. Walking in a room, I suddenly forget what I am doing there. When I eat on a plate in the living room, and I end up reaching down for my water, my plate tips and spills some food. I can imagine letting something like this happen one time, but this has been a common thing for me to do. It’s like I have no understanding of what I am doing, and no memory about what happened last time, and no sense to do anything about it. I have been having trouble finding the right words to speak, and problems pronouncing them. Many times I stop in the middle of what I was saying, not remembering what I was going to say, and even not remembering what I was talking about. I am now easily confused about simple things. In other words, I do not think I am ready for work. However, I do need to get a job. Maybe pushing a mop as a janitor?

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

****. I literally just accidentally took a 2nd dose of rexulti, not remembering that I took it two hours prior. I took 8mg instead of 4mg, and well, 4mg is the max dosage.

I hope nothing bad happens. My pdoc's assistant says that your breathing can slow down a lot and make it difficult to breathe at all. And apparently it can make you fall asleep at the wheel if you're driving. (I've never been sedated by Rexulti, though.)

Thankfully I'm at my own apartment, albeit by myself. I hope I don't get breathing problems. And I don't want to take a klonopin to relax myself because then I'll get sedated and might fall asleep and die from not breathing. I also don't want anymore drugs in my system at this time!!

But I guess in other "good" news, my grandma made it through the night. She's been off her psych meds, though, and she's giving the hospital all sorts of problems. Hallucinating, very delusional, refusing to sleep (because she's not tired), extremely talkative, trying to escape by taking her oxygen OUT, etc..

I love her dearly, but I fear that she's accidentally going to kill herself, since she CANNOT breathe well without the oxygen. There's a reason the hospital is giving it to her and a reason she's in the bed. I blame the nursing home for this. They let her get really bad before deciding, "oh, hey... I guess we should send her to the hospital... right? Or we could wait another day and let things get worse and worse."

Please check with your pharmacist on the double dose.

Thanks for the update. You have been on my mind.

Be safe!

WC

[Lifeischallenging]

So I have a little bit of a problem. I am taking my meds, but I'm taking them incorrectly right now. Its just my lithium that I am taking incorrectly. I am on a new dose and I hope it doesn't do anything to me. 1350 mg is now the dose I am on, but I am not taking it. Instead, I am only taking 1200 mg. Thank god the dosage is still working. In other news, I just went to my bank and found out why my card was being declined for that automatic payment. Its because of a new feature my bank released which I am using.

[Unrigged64072835]

Hope you’ll be okay, Tucson and Blue.

I’m sitting in the ER. The swelling on my neck is getting worse and it’s affecting my jaw. Been sitting at the pharmacy all morning and the Med I really need is not in stock. I won’t be seen for a while. I’m low priority here. One of my former colleagues came in—he fell and messed up his arm. He has high blood pressure so that may be a factor. It’s hot in here but I can’t leave.

Daughter has another application drop off this afternoon.

I’m sad but all I can do is wait.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Hope you’ll be okay, Tucson and Blue.

I’m sitting in the ER. The swelling on my neck is getting worse and it’s affecting my jaw. Been sitting at the pharmacy all morning and the Med I really need is not in stock. I won’t be seen for a while. I’m low priority here. One of my former colleagues came in—he fell and messed up his arm. He has high blood pressure so that may be a factor. It’s hot in here but I can’t leave.

Daughter has another application drop off this afternoon.

I’m sad but all I can do is wait.

(((((( Fharraige ))))))

Sorry you are needing the ER.
Thinking of you.

WC

[Daonnachd]

I meet with my T this afternoon. I’ll probably spend most of the time talking about my upcoming trip to Spain and the fact that I don’t really want to go. My wife and I are going back to the town we lived in 20 years ago, but not being able to remember much about that time makes it less appealing. I’m also dreading driving in Barcelona. We’ve got a friend who moved there after we moved away. We can’t be in the region but fail to visit him. Social obligations.

[hopeless2015]

Just wanted to send out HUGS for those who want or need them

Starting about three days ago, my energy levels and motivation have decreased A LOT! I just can't seem to get myself out of the bed. I hate to write this, but I'm almost glad hubby is going out with his friends tonight. Not that I don't want to see him, but I'm glad not to have the pressure of having to cook, or do anything else.

Prior to these last few days, my energy and motivation were just where they should be, in my view. Days before that I was maybe slightly delightfully hypo. A couple weeks before that I had even reached manic with mixed features. There were a few scary days for not just me, but my poor husband. I ended up having a big Seroquel XR increase.

I see my psychiatrist next week. I think the Seroquel XR needs to finally be lowered a bit again. That should hopefully help.

[Scooter9]

Another low day for me...just hanging on. I'm staying busy so that's making things more bearable yet those quiet moments are a reminder that the depression continues to linger, making everything gray.

[Unrigged64072835]

Aaaand...this ER is doing the same thing the last ER did, even though I have the papers to show all those results were normal. Also they won’t do an ultrasound; I have to go to my PCM for that. So a waste of time at this point.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

Just wanted to send out HUGS for those who want or need them

(((((Hug))))

[giddykitty]

i wonder if people can tell when I write a "good" blog vs a bad one. Today was a "bad" one because it's scattered and not necessarily cohesive. In my mind it flows or the topics just spill out, but when I try to read it back, it sounds like a lot of random crap.
I also don't know what this means from a mental standpoint. Like, where is my brain today, is it good or bad or does this mean I've bipolar or ADHD or what. You know?? (that's rhetorical)

well, this here makes more sense. maybe i'm just too lazy to fix the longer posts. hmm or maybe it's just too hard. I'm not necessarily fishing for viewers, but if you do read it -great. and/or have patience with it.

hope everyone's hangin' in there today. I'm clearly kinda reaching out for company. Hi!

Sorry for disappearing for a week and a half.

Caught up reading everyone's posts on this thread. Many hugs.

Older news.... they ran all kinds of tests and never did figure out what went wrong with BF. They ended up calling it acute encephalopathy, but had no evidence as to what caused it. Ask me and I'd say it was some sort of psychotic break. Medical people want medical answers after all. He's not been in a very good headspace in dealing with his limitations and all that's gone down with him these past many months.

More recently... hmmm. Had a very busy workweek last week that spilled over into this one (a big part of why I went missing). Mood holding steady for the most part. Times of frustration, but that's probably not surprising. Spending time with the plants. They are zen. Especially plucking grass out of moss in a little mini ...guess you'd call it a fairy garden. Nothing to plant, everything was already growing there, just cleaned it up. Little ferns and mosses.

[Pookyl]

Doing really well today

[wildflowerchild25]

I had a good day today. Got my eyes checked and will be getting new glasses so I can finally see again. One of the meds changes my vision, I suspect lamictal. But getting new glasses should correct the problem. Only thing is if I go up on lamictal ever I wonder if it will get worse again. But that remains to be seen so to speak.

NV came up for a couple of hours. I love seeing him. We have good conversations. We don’t really go out which is fine with me since I don’t have much money to spend.

I finally got someone on the phone for unemployment! I’ll start getting payments in two weeks. Now I just have to call Obamacare and find out why I was rejected and see if I can appeal. Cobra is like $2000 a month. That’s my whole pay from unemployment.

Anyway still plugging along. Might go visit my grandparents this weekend. Haven’t been up there since Easter. I miss my grandma. My grandpa, well, he’s a bit insufferable but not that bad anymore usually.

[Victoria'smom]

I found out SSI is reviewing me yet again. So here I am making a list of all the things I can't do and it's really sad. I've just done the physical disability. It's going to be harder to do the mental crap.

You must be very smart to be funny, which explains why I’m neither funny nor very smart.

[VerMOZZica]

The depression is hitting me hard right now. I used to self harm and that seems tempting to me right now. I just want to cry.

[scatterbrained04]

I've been having terrible anxiety in the mornings since lowering my trileptal. Hoping that will go away. It's so bad I'm getting chest pain periodically. Trying to let things level out a bit before increasing my Latuda. Having a lot of anxiety about raising it though. Finding taking meds scary at the moment. Going to be a rough morning at work, so I hope my anxiety level doesn't get too bad.

Clozaril not working yet. I don't think it will because my problems aren't caused by not being on an antipsychotic. I'm sick of fighting myself and everything around me.

[GoldenSnitch]

Day 9 IP. I’m still having a lot of anxiety and I’m not sleeping well despite them increasing my dose of sleep meds. The woman from health services at my employer called this morning but I couldn’t talk at the time. She was nasty and saying we need to assess my eligibility for benefits. I’m sick. There is no assessment needed. I’m in the hospital. Do you idiots think I’d be here if I didn’t have to be? I’m so angry