[Moreta]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

You had a stoning?! I don't understand.

The new intern debut today and the stones are supposed to represent our theology or some ****. Idk. I kinda spaced out when she was talking about it, like usual.

[Moose72]

Yes so aforementioned friend (one that turned into a spider) grabbed my extension cord off the table at Starbucks and bent the prongs! He figured this would get them to stay in the outlet that they fell out of. I yelled at him and gave him some choice words about don't break my stuff. Then he got miffed at me. Asked me 15 minutes later why I yelled at him. Uh.... For breaking my stuff? I use that cord every day to keep my phone charged when using the phone to talk with people. He seriously GRABBED it and bent it all in one motion without asking. Not ok.

[wildflowerchild25]

Boy was I in a foul mood today! I was down and irritable af. I seriously wanted to smack the **** out of my son because his room and the bathroom was so messy. I was SO mad. I literally laid on the couch until about 2:30pm. I don’t know what it was. I don’t know if it was a reaction from the codiene in the Tylenol 3 I took last night or if i was nic fitting or what. But when I finally decided that get up and get some cleaning done I felt better. My son cleaned the whole bathroom and most of his room so I’m happier with him now. I’m being stricter about him talking back to me. My boyfriend is right about that, I shouldn’t tolerate it. It’ll just get worse as he gets older if I do. I’ll be like one of those moms on dr phil with an out of control child who says **** like cash me outside how bow dat. I don’t want that lol.

Haven’t been able to talk much to my boyfriend this weekend which kind of sucks.

My back is feeling better already. I’m not going to take any T3’s so I can see if the pain is really better. I’m happy that it does seem to feel better though. That bodes well for the future.

[Faltering]

My life is empty and I feel angry all the time. I still have something evil living in me. I'm afraid to tell anyone how bad it is, including my pdoc. I don't think there's much anyone can do to help. Med changes help for awhile, but I always regress again. What's the point anymore

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Faltering

My life is empty and I feel angry all the time. I still have something evil living in me. I'm afraid to tell anyone how bad it is, including my pdoc. I don't think there's much anyone can do to help. Med changes help for awhile, but I always regress again. What's the point anymore

I hear you. Ive gone through so many med changes over the years it isn't even funny.

[Cocosurviving]

Woke up this morning and it was raining. My eyes started running they’ve been red all day. I laid back in bed for a while. Then my mom called and we chatted. I cooked some brunch for my daughter. I have not spoken to my oldest daughter K the whole weekend. I sent her two emails and I was very real with her. I told her she needed to take a good look at her attitude. I pulled it together and went to the grocery store. Grabbed a few things for dinner and breakfast for the week. The new school my daughter is attending requires students to take a drug test to be in the band. Nice way to use tax payer dollars. I got on Pinterest today and found a lot of gluten free recipes.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by cln1812

Personally, I think it's a bit premature to stop the meds just yet. I think you should call your pdoc and ask.

Thank you, my pdoc actually does know that I stopped, but it's more the future plans for other meds that I am unsure about. I will discuss with him at my next visit, though.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Boy was I in a foul mood today! I was down and irritable af. I seriously wanted to smack the **** out of my son because his room and the bathroom was so messy. I was SO mad. I literally laid on the couch until about 2:30pm. I don’t know what it was. I don’t know if it was a reaction from the codiene in the Tylenol 3 I took last night or if i was nic fitting or what. But when I finally decided that get up and get some cleaning done I felt better. My son cleaned the whole bathroom and most of his room so I’m happier with him now. I’m being stricter about him talking back to me. My boyfriend is right about that, I shouldn’t tolerate it. It’ll just get worse as he gets older if I do. I’ll be like one of those moms on dr phil with an out of control child who says **** like cash me outside how bow dat. I don’t want that lol.

Haven’t been able to talk much to my boyfriend this weekend which kind of sucks.

My back is feeling better already. I’m not going to take any T3’s so I can see if the pain is really better. I’m happy that it does seem to feel better though. That bodes well for the future.

Codeine agitates me BIG TIME!
I cannot take it.
I am hoping you are feeling better.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Seething Maybe I will post later why. Right now I am too PO'd for words!

Thinking of you.

WC

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Saw my pdoc on Thursday. She'd tried to help by adding gabapentin. I am having some side-effects today. I see her again tomorrow.

Still having great sleep difficulties. Mood feels less agitated on gabapentin.
Something's up because I can tolerate MUCH, MUCH more gabapentin than I have ever been able to tolerate. In the past, I could not tolerate even 100mg without sleeping 24/7. Right now, I can tolerate so very much more and may feel more calm; yet, I am not sleeping despite the higher dose right now.

I see pdoc again tomorrow. We have met only 4 times so far; she is new to me. I like her. She is very warm, is compassionate, is humorous, is very thorough with med interactions, etc. I think I am VERY fortunate to have her as a pdoc. (I do miss my retired pdoc; he was also a gem. It might be beneficial to have a new pdoc taking a fresh look at things.)

I need to count my blessings!

Love to All!

WC

I’m glad you like your new pdoc. I hope she can get things figured out. You deserve a break.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m glad you like your new pdoc. I hope she can get things figured out. You deserve a break.

Thanks, Jennifer!
I have not slept through the night in a very long time now.
I think of you daily.
Love and prayers,

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

I had to do that too because a lot of the APs and Depakote caused prolonged Qt for me as well. My old pdoc was vigilant about that.

Thanks so much for your response!
I had forgotten Depakote has the QTc prolongation potential, too!
Darn! Depakote has come in very handy at times.
Thanks for reminding me!
I am sorry you also must be concerned about QTc prolongation. At least we have had EKGs to see if the QTc interval is affected. I am glad you have also had a vigilant pdoc.
Thanks again!

WC

[Sliders]

I feel my moods are fluctuating, yet the difference from experiencing an episode is that these fluctuating moods are tolerable/manageable.

feel like I'm not moving in any sort of direction today.

almost ground hog day- with the obvious acception that I am not eating chicken for dinner, I am eating sausages

still overeating. still not sleeping. still got nothing done

[yellow_fleurs]

Down to half caff today with a 16 oz coffee, then next week going down to half caff with an 8 oz coffee or a cup of tea per day. Trying to cut out the caffeine from my life, although not sure how it will affect my concentration. I have had a lot of issues over the years with concentration and memory that are unexplained. I do not know if it is related to having Lyme disease, my moods/anxiety, or something else. Was even on adderall at one point for it, but that made me too irritable. Well, maybe it is better to be spacey, but have more stable moods and energy levels. Anyways I am going to dinner with friends at an Indian restaurant tonight. This will be the third night eating with people. The last two nights I cooked with friends. I have been enjoying it. Hope everyone is having a good day, sending hugs.

[Moose72]

Hmmmmm.... Wt....? Why did I get up at noon? No money to get starbucks or anything. Just me and house food and the tv.... And judo later.

Universe, is it too much to ask that my kindnesses be repaid with kindnesses instead of backstabbing and treachery? Yes? Well, FML.
Weekend from hell, topped off with 27 hours without sleep. And it'll be much more than that since I'm stuck (uselessly) at work now. I am completely exhausted.
I still can't talk about it. Suffice to say I hate my life and

Possible trigger:

wish I were dead. I really do.

[half_awakexx]

Been up since 3:30 this morning. It's pouring rain and there's a flash flood warning. The water is seeping through my windows and I'm having to put paper towels down to absorb it. Also went to the doctor this morning due to an infection I have. I'm on antibiotics now. It's going to be a lazy day for me. Might take a nap here a little bit. No work as I took the day off. Hope everyone else's day goes well.

[Daonnachd]

My mother fell and broke her wrist last night. The hospital doesn't want to release her to live by herself, so she's coming to live with us. Wow, that's a change. What a stressor.

For now I'm on my way to the dentist.

[liveforsummer]

I’m tired, anxious, depressed, want to crawl in a hole. Have had a couple happy events to attend this month but the lead up makes my anxiety increase because I know the day after I’ll feel worse again. Called pdoc to see if I should ditch cipralex, she wants me to try the full 6-8 wks first. I don’t think it’s done anything.
I’m going back to bed.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Universe, is it too much to ask that my kindnesses be repaid with kindnesses instead of backstabbing and treachery? Yes? Well, FML.
Weekend from hell, topped off with 27 hours without sleep. And it'll be much more than that since I'm stuck (uselessly) at work now. I am completely exhausted.
I still can't talk about it. Suffice to say I hate my life and

Possible trigger:

wish I were dead. I really do.

I hope some kindness comes your way soon

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Called pdoc to see if I should ditch cipralex, she wants me to try the full 6-8 wks first. I don’t think it’s done anything.
I’m going back to bed.

I hope you feel better soon

I fell asleep so incredibly early last night. Hubby and I ate at 6 pm, and I'll confess I drank a little bit too much. Maybe 1.5 glasses too much. That knocked me out by about 7:30 pm on the living room sofa under my favorite alpaca blanket. Hubby left me there until 9 pm, at which time I went up to bed.

I have had oodles of energy today. This morning I straightened up all around the house and cleaned many things, including my pet bird's area, and most of the kitchen. I sweating like a hog. I took a shower, but started sweating again. Then I did something impulsive.

Since yesterday, I have been obsessing about how I barely got a taste of my wedding cake over 20 years ago. On my wedding day, I was served barely a sliver. Then one year later we returned to Prague, Czech Republic, where we were married, and my sister-in-law thawed the top of my wedding cake that she had kept in her freezer (she lives in CZ, hubby and I live in the US). The top of the cake was very small, and yet there were 7 people that night who wanted a piece. I remember my sister-in-law's sons got much bigger pieces than me. Again, I barely got a sliver. I remember being angry and later complaining about it to my then 1-year husband. He told me I was ungrateful, that she had kept it in her freezer and that I was acting selfish. Maybe I was, but I think brides have some right to be self-centered to a degree. My nephews and the others could have eaten apple strudel, and left the cake to my husband and me.

So, yesterday I was looking online for recipes for MY wedding cake. I am a good baker, but not talented at certain baking techniques. I decided that I was GOING to have my wedding cake again, and was NOT going to share it with anyone other than my husband. I don't care how many calories it is! If there is half left, I'll freeze it in MY freezer and defrost the rest next year, and again, only share it with my husband.

Today I went to a couple of bakeries to inquire if they could make it. Only the gourmet French store clerk said that their baker might be able to do it. I'll hopefully hear yea or nay by tomorrow. Anyway, it's a white cake with a real raspberry preserve and whipped cream filling topped with a sheet of white marzipan, instead of icing. I asked for the smallest cake they would make (probably 6-8 servings size). I also asked that there be pink marzipan roses on top, or at least roses made of icing. My only stipulation was that the decorations not be cheesy. I suppose I shouldn't have said that. Oh well!

The cake will probably cost a fortune from that baker (if he/she can do it), but I don't care. I'm willing to spend up to $100. I think any more than that for that size cake would be totally over doing it. Marzipan covered cakes are not usual in my area. Raspberry fillings are also usually some crap artificially flavored raspberry and red food coloring. I was very insistent that the raspberry filling MUST be real raspberry, preferably raspberry preserves.

I went to the pharmacy right afterwards, but they didn't have my medication in stock. I decided then that I would see if there was even an approximation of a raspberry filled cake piece available downtown since I was yearning for a taste (I had already checked out the diner and they only had strawberry shortcake). I decided to go to the World of Cupcakes store. They did indeed have a cupcake with raspberry filling (they have more than 50 varieties of cupcakes), but of course it was yellow cake, that fake imitation raspberry filling, and sugary vanilla icing. I ate it anyway, getting the most enjoyment out of telling the clerk my entire wedding cake story. Luckily there were no other customers in the store. I thanked her for listening to my story and then finally returned home. Now anyone reading this knows my story, too. Normally I'd want to write about it in my blog, but my Czech sister-in-law reads my blog. That wouldn't be good.

The cake will surprise my husband, and I imagine he'll find it sweet, but I know the cake is mostly for me. More than twenty years later and I'm feeling like Bridezilla.

[Unrigged64072835]

Saw T today. Talked about guilt about a couple of guys I dumped when I was younger and untreated. I don't even know if they are alive now. She said write letters to them and then shred them. Sat down to do that and my head started to hurt. Now it hurts even thinking about it. We also talked about what to do now that my daughter is gone. I'm still considering the dog trainer thing, but part of it deals with not being emotionally reactive. That's more of a PTSD/borderline issue so may have to revisit DBT for that.

I'm still tired so I may take a full day off before exercising again.

Otherwise I'm doing okay.

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling insanely manic. My head is spinning and it hurts a lot. Feel like I'm in some hyperspace moving faster than the speed of light