[wildflowerchild25]

My boyfriend is giving me a hard time about my son “disrespecting” me. Tbh I don’t even notice that he does it. I wouldn’t know how to change it bc I don’t recognize it. But I can tell it’s going to cause problems in our relationship. He’s Puerto Rican and big into respecting your elders. I’m white and my mom was never around so I don’t know how to parent. I’m trying to figure it out but as my son gets older I can tell I’m letting him walk over me but I don’t know how to stop it. I’m hoping maybe I can bring it up to his therapist and she can help me. Like family therapy.

[Blueberrybook]

I got 7.5 hours of sleep last night. I did wake around 3 AM but decided I was too tired to get up and slept another 1.5 hr. Maybe the melatonin I added to the sleep mix (as directed by my pdoc) is helping. We'll see. Yesterday and today, I feel like the hypomania is slowing down a little. Unfortunately, I still overexercised this morning.

I actually remembered to take my Protonix this morning, finally.

it has been an okay day, the down sides being no sleep and bad overeating still

spent the morning listening to music and did some sorting of my room in the afternoon

weather is still nice too. not too hot or too cold

[Daonnachd]

Today. It's the first day of school for my younger son. He's a junior in secondary school. He's a good student, but not social, so the house is full of tension again.

In my little world it's just off to work with me.

Our phone's been paid, but yesterday was quite chaotic when I got home from work so I still haven't talked to my mom. I may try to ring her while at work today.

I mentioned that yesterday I was quite upset by something. I spent the remainder of the day in bed. I regret that I've been in bed all morning today, too. I've neglected chores and the kitchen is intimidating me. I will have to do something to rectify that. I'll push myself.

My eating has been terrible off and on lately. It's been bad again these last few days. That clearly adds to my feeling of unwellness, and yet I eat poorly anyway.

I don't think I've got bipolar disorder... bipolar bipolar

O Bipolar, Bipolar! Wherefore art thou Bipolar? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,.

[half_awakexx]

I skipped my shot this morning----I just wasn't feeling it and making the drive. It's the first time I've missed an appointment without notifying the staff. Oh well At work now and hoping to get through the remainder of this day. The weekend is so close!! I have a three day weekend as I took Monday off. Overall, my mood is not bad. Might just be a little anxious.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

My pdoc agreed that I need a few days of increased clozapine to knock down my hypomania before I get in trouble. So I took it last night and feel much calmer and very sleepy. This is the most I've been on and it's amazing how a tiny difference has an effect. Hopefully the few days will be all it takes, especially because the pharmacy changed generic provider and these are very hard to cut.

I just wish I didn't have responsibilities and could sleep this off without worrying about missing something. But I do so I will sleep while I can. I am having trouble even typing which says time to sleep. Oh but first I have to medicate my cat. Too much to remember to do....

[pirilin]

Another "coincidence".

The alarmman had to return to install a resistor he missed when he switched doorbells.
That resistor makes the ring longer, so I can hear 1/2 Beethoven 5th. Not just Tatatatan!.

I ordered 3 speaker bars for the TVs and didn't have a clue as of how to install them.
My man alarm comes in and I ask if he knows something about speakers.
Of course he knows. I know he knows. He proved he knows.
I now have three speakers working like a barber string quartet.
And Beethoven coming loud and clear.

Luck you say?. No. The Law of Attraction.

[Miss Laura]

Well been up since 3am again. Zopliclone isn't helping at all.

By 7:45am I clicked and had to rush to get to an appt to see my CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) was in 30 mins she's not concerned about me I don't think. Says to be careful etc regarding the guys

Met my Sister for lunch then came home. Fell asleep on sofa. Made my dinner and now sitting chilling out

All the while chatting to guys online.

Day 4 of taking meds nearly completed

Possible trigger:
Looking at some of the posts here reminds me of when I was a kid and asked my parents why grandma (rip) took so much medication.

With that memory, I see the benefits of being comfortable with medication. I've always wanted to know what drugs she took, like was she manic depressive..

At the third stroke it will be 3:39 am precisely

[Daonnachd]

I’m sorry to bother you with this, but I don’t feel well. I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s more than my mum’s cancer. Adding to the complexity is the fact that I only had ECT two weeks ago. I should be fine. And, when I mentioned this to my T yesterday she said this isn’t depression. I’m confused as to what’s going on with me.

[yellow_fleurs]

Feeling okay today. Actually felt relaxed, content, even really happy this morning. Then felt a little too anxious, irritable after drinking coffee and really don't know why I keep with the caffeine when it should be one of the easiest things to cut out to improve my mood and anxiety. I guess because it also makes me happier and more focused. Going to see a couple of friends tonight for dinner. I really shouldn't spend the money, but need to be social. Hugs to everyone struggling right now.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I am so tired with this extra clozapine boost. I slept until 4 (with some time awake) and honestly could probably go to bed for the night right now. I didn't even bother to get dressed or comb my hair; nobody is here to see me anyway. One of the benefits of living in the middle of nowhere.

I still feel agitated under the tired. But I've only had one day of the pulse so that's probably to be expected. I am so temptd to take another "nap". I really want veggie pizza from a certain store but not enough to get dressed and drive to get it. Maybe tomorrow.

[Moose72]

I was so tired this afternoon talking to my friend so I got off the phone and napped two hours!! Will I go to bed at a decent time tonight?

Im putting my pajamas on now and at some point my daughter is going out with her friend. Then I can watch more Orange is the New Black.

[Blueberrybook]

I had a horrible day today. I called & moved up my pdoc appt. to Monday from Sept. 5 and got an appointment with my PCP about an hour & a half after the pdoc appt. Could be mixed, not sure. Got the PCP appt. to ask her if any tests needed to be done with how much weight I've lost. I've got a BMI of 17. It's bad.

Originally Posted by cln1812

I had a horrible day today. I called & moved up my pdoc appt. to Monday from Sept. 5 and got an appointment with my PCP about an hour & a half after the pdoc appt. Could be mixed, not sure. Got the PCP appt. to ask her if any tests needed to be done with how much weight I've lost. I've got a BMI of 17. It's bad.

Excuse my ignorance, but didn't you post about getting kicked off the property? Or maybe I'm tired and not functioning properly?!

20 years man, 20 friggin years. That's how long I masked this hypo-****-nonsense.

Nearly 2 years sober and I don't feel invincible anymore, I'm fragile like everyone here.

Boy do I have excuses up my sleeve. And I see grandiosity is being projected in what I'm saying now. And there is a sub for addiction, but this is specifically for bipolar because of what is mentioned above.

I've never stole a horse from someone I didn't like

[Cocosurviving]

Hello all,

My day was super busy. It was the first day of school for my youngest daughter A.
Thank the Great Spirit that my pdoc’s office got my Ambien called into my pharmacy.
The dosage is lower as to not affect my allergies. I sleep decent last night. I woke up at 6 AM to hel my daughter get ready and walk the dog. I fixed her some breakfast while she took forever with her hair. Lol. After I dropped A off at school. I had to go by our pharmacy and have a label put on my daughter A’s eppie pen. Then I went back to her school and met with the nurse. I filled out the proper forms in case the school needs to administer her eppie pen. I also left some Prednisone in case her angieodemia flares up. The only thing I forgot was to bring Benedryl. I’ll do that tomorrow. She had a great day at school. She sat with a few students and they were talking about Peyton Manning. She told them our family are Bronco fans and she has a Manning jersey. I was happy 😃. We decided to go get school supplies since she received all the lists. The Great Spirit had my bad. It was storming like crazy. We pulled up at one of the Walmart’s and when we arrived inside it was peaceful. There was actually not a lot of people in and I was so relieved. We found all her school supplies except for red ink pens. I told her I’d run by the Staples near our place tomorrow.
Next we headed to the Apple Store. Our dog chewed my new MacBook Pro charger cord. Luckily I always get Apple Care Plus so insurance took care of that. While at the Apple Store my daughter fell in love with a pair of Beats Wireless. I have a pair and she uses them a lot. I told her we could stop by Best Buy. We found her a pair that were the new matte black. She was happy but I told her no way are they to go to school.

Edit: today Aretha Franklin passed away. She was truly the Queen of Soul. I watched a tribute that PBS did on her. It was nice. She was the first female to get inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by 2ISAB

Excuse my ignorance, but didn't you post about getting kicked off the property? Or maybe I'm tired and not functioning properly?!

I said it's going to be happening soon, not that it already has. Next month will be our first month of not being able to pay the bills. Not kicked off the property, unless you're meaning foreclosure. The insurance is so messed up that now that I've met my deductible ($7500), even though it hasn't been paid by us yet, the insurance pays 100% now for all my doctor's appointments.

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

Hello all,

My day was super busy. It was the first day of school for my youngest daughter A.
Thank the Great Spirit that my pdoc’s office got my Ambien called into my pharmacy.
The dosage is lower as to not affect my allergies. I sleep decent last night. I woke up at 6 AM to hel my daughter get ready and walk the dog. I fixed her some breakfast while she took forever with her hair. Lol. After I dropped A off at school. I had to go by our pharmacy and have a label put on my daughter A’s eppie pen. Then I went back to her school and met with the nurse. I filled out the proper forms in case the school needs to administer her eppie pen. I also left some Prednisone in case her angieodemia flares up. The only thing I forgot was to bring Benedryl. I’ll do that tomorrow. She had a great day at school. She sat with a few students and they were talking about Peyton Manning. She told them our family are Bronco fans and she has a Manning jersey. I was happy . We decided to go get school supplies since she received all the lists. The Great Spirit had my bad. It was storming like crazy. We pulled up at one of the Walmart’s and when we arrived inside it was peaceful. There was actually not a lot of people in and I was so relieved. We found all her school supplies except for red ink pens. I told her I’d run by the Staples near our place tomorrow.
Next we headed to the Apple Store. Our dog chewed my new MacBook Pro charger cord. Luckily I always get Apple Care Plus so insurance took care of that. While at the Apple Store my daughter fell in love with a pair of Beats Wireless. I have a pair and she uses them a lot. I told her we could stop by Best Buy. We found her a pair that were the new matte black. She was happy but I told her no way are they to go to school.

Edit: today Aretha Franklin passed away. She was truly the Queen of Soul. I watched a tribute that PBS did on her. It was nice. She was the first female to get inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Holy Jesus Christ, you've done what I call a busy YEAR lmao
I loved Aretha Franklin duet with George Michael that song was amazing.

[wildflowerchild25]

Well, I wasn’t able to complete my physical. Nothing to do with my mental status. The PA just wasn’t comfortable letting me do the running and lifting without my spine dr’s clearance because of my herniated discs. I’m very disappointed but it’s probably for the best. I’m just worried that if he says I can’t do it that I’ll lose the job. The PA assured me that wasn’t the case but I’m not sure. I won’t be happy until I’m actually in training. Then I’ll know I’ve got the job for sure. Stupid back problems. I’m getting injections tomorrow so at least I’m already seeing my spine dr. I don’t have to wait to give him the paperwork so I’ll be able to reschedule my function test at work sooner rather than later. And if he does say I shouldn’t lift at least I won’t hurt myself lifting. That would be bad.

Sigh. I wish things could be easy lol.

I’m still mulling over what my boyfriend said last night. He said my son disrespects me and he gets upset but obviously doesn’t say anything because he’s not his parent. But he says if it continues my son will have trouble with authority later in life. He’s not the first person who has told me that I’m too easy on my son. My mom says it all the time and my two SILs have said it too. It’s th same problem I had in teaching. I just don’t have any authority with kids and it’s something about me or my personality but I’m not sure what. I guess I just give up too easily. I get overwhelmed easily and just say **** it. I know that’s not a good way to parent. I was stricter with my son tonight and he seems to be responding well. He’s still In his room whereas by now he’s usually come out three or four times. I just have to follow through on my punishments. That’s where I usually fall down.

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Well, I wasn’t able to complete my physical. Nothing to do with my mental status. The PA just wasn’t comfortable letting me do the running and lifting without my spine dr’s clearance because of my herniated discs. I’m very disappointed but it’s probably for the best. I’m just worried that if he says I can’t do it that I’ll lose the job. The PA assured me that wasn’t the case but I’m not sure. I won’t be happy until I’m actually in training. Then I’ll know I’ve got the job for sure. Stupid back problems. I’m getting injections tomorrow so at least I’m already seeing my spine dr. I don’t have to wait to give him the paperwork so I’ll be able to reschedule my function test at work sooner rather than later. And if he does say I shouldn’t lift at least I won’t hurt myself lifting. That would be bad.

Sigh. I wish things could be easy lol.

I’m still mulling over what my boyfriend said last night. He said my son disrespects me and he gets upset but obviously doesn’t say anything because he’s not his parent. But he says if it continues my son will have trouble with authority later in life. He’s not the first person who has told me that I’m too easy on my son. My mom says it all the time and my two SILs have said it too. It’s th same problem I had in teaching. I just don’t have any authority with kids and it’s something about me or my personality but I’m not sure what. I guess I just give up too easily. I get overwhelmed easily and just say **** it. I know that’s not a good way to parent. I was stricter with my son tonight and he seems to be responding well. He’s still In his room whereas by now he’s usually come out three or four times. I just have to follow through on my punishments. That’s where I usually fall down.

The back thing.. I get it, believe I've spent a good year trying different meds for the pain, the side effects from my meds are ...well you know and have my thrive to get better soon.

I wouldn't push your son away, just because society!!! Tells us so. Just be mom. He will eventually see that there's nothing stronger than a mother's Love.

I got into a bit of trouble but I eventually got married, bought a house (villa) and no matter what I've done or smelt like after a drug and alcohol fueled night, I just knew how much my mother has been there for me.

I feel I need to say to you that, we turned out like expected.. my father expected the worst in me, in a teenagers mind, we do our best to not disappoint their "modernised" expectations..

"Hey look at the Neighbours kid, why can't you be more like him?"
Or even worse,
Don't let your brother take your stuff, punch him, who's stronger?" From a drunk father to drunk uncle. Yeah
Kids just want to be free and so they should. After all, it's their choice. Educating people of the toxic environment is now the norm I guess
Edit: I do love my father

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Well, I wasn’t able to complete my physical. Nothing to do with my mental status. The PA just wasn’t comfortable letting me do the running and lifting without my spine dr’s clearance because of my herniated discs. I’m very disappointed but it’s probably for the best. I’m just worried that if he says I can’t do it that I’ll lose the job. The PA assured me that wasn’t the case but I’m not sure. I won’t be happy until I’m actually in training. Then I’ll know I’ve got the job for sure. Stupid back problems. I’m getting injections tomorrow so at least I’m already seeing my spine dr. I don’t have to wait to give him the paperwork so I’ll be able to reschedule my function test at work sooner rather than later. And if he does say I shouldn’t lift at least I won’t hurt myself lifting. That would be bad.

Sigh. I wish things could be easy lol.

I’m still mulling over what my boyfriend said last night. He said my son disrespects me and he gets upset but obviously doesn’t say anything because he’s not his parent. But he says if it continues my son will have trouble with authority later in life. He’s not the first person who has told me that I’m too easy on my son. My mom says it all the time and my two SILs have said it too. It’s th same problem I had in teaching. I just don’t have any authority with kids and it’s something about me or my personality but I’m not sure what. I guess I just give up too easily. I get overwhelmed easily and just say **** it. I know that’s not a good way to parent. I was stricter with my son tonight and he seems to be responding well. He’s still In his room whereas by now he’s usually come out three or four times. I just have to follow through on my punishments. That’s where I usually fall down.

Sorry for that, I was too harsh

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Well, I wasn’t able to complete my physical. Nothing to do with my mental status. The PA just wasn’t comfortable letting me do the running and lifting without my spine dr’s clearance because of my herniated discs. I’m very disappointed but it’s probably for the best. I’m just worried that if he says I can’t do it that I’ll lose the job. The PA assured me that wasn’t the case but I’m not sure. I won’t be happy until I’m actually in training. Then I’ll know I’ve got the job for sure. Stupid back problems. I’m getting injections tomorrow so at least I’m already seeing my spine dr. I don’t have to wait to give him the paperwork so I’ll be able to reschedule my function test at work sooner rather than later. And if he does say I shouldn’t lift at least I won’t hurt myself lifting. That would be bad.

Sigh. I wish things could be easy lol.

I’m still mulling over what my boyfriend said last night. He said my son disrespects me and he gets upset but obviously doesn’t say anything because he’s not his parent. But he says if it continues my son will have trouble with authority later in life. He’s not the first person who has told me that I’m too easy on my son. My mom says it all the time and my two SILs have said it too. It’s th same problem I had in teaching. I just don’t have any authority with kids and it’s something about me or my personality but I’m not sure what. I guess I just give up too easily. I get overwhelmed easily and just say **** it. I know that’s not a good way to parent. I was stricter with my son tonight and he seems to be responding well. He’s still In his room whereas by now he’s usually come out three or four times. I just have to follow through on my punishments. That’s where I usually fall down.

There's never any shortage of people to tell you how to raise your children. They are usually people with no children of their own.

You didn't raise your son to be a doormat, nor to be cannon fodder for the military.

We gave our daughter the maximum safe leash, and she has grown up to be respectful and responsible. Your example counts for much more than anything you say.