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#1
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how are you at putting on a front?
can you do it? do people see passed it? I can't put on a front. I litirally can't. if people can't cope with how I'm feeling, that's their problem. I litirally can't pretend things are okay when they arn't |
![]() *Laurie*, pirilin
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![]() *Laurie*
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#2
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I'm a pro at putting on a front, people never k own exactly how I'm really feeling unless I tell them. This is problematic though by it leaves the door wide open for assumptions. I should add I don't do this consciously, by nature I'm not openly emotionally expressive unless there is a need.I'm feeling happy internally most of the time however by I do t walk around with a big smile and loud fits of laughter all the time it is assumed I'm sad or mad when I'm happy. Oh well better to keep em guessing than acting fake. I'm all about necessary and unnecessary, my internal dialogue intuitively tells me when to express and when it is unnecessary to react emotionally. Doent mean I'm not feeling anything, just means I don't feel like I have to emotionally react to it externally.
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#3
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Oh God yeah.... when I'm manic I hide it well. I also hide anxieties well until they are killing me. I can hide a lot until it is killing me. Like it's pouring out of me. Problem is my eyes tell the tales sometimes as does my speech and writing.
Depression wise I can't hide full blown depression but can hide being low until it gets too low then I can't hide it. I tell so many lies I'll never get to heaven lol. I just don't want to hurt people with the truth. I feel like a failure otherwise |
#4
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Yes I put on a front and people don't see past it. I don't like having to do it but it is what it is.
__________________
* Dx: Bipolar II (finally, after years at Bipolar NOS) * Rx: minimal dose of Lamictal My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
#5
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I do it all the time. People tend to get uncomfortable around me if I show my true feelings too much. And I really don't like to show them (especially depressed or anxious feelings) around my daughter. She tends to be very sensitive to my husband's mood and my own.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
#6
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Quote:
welcome to the forum, borderline69 hope it helps you out |
#7
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Quote:
I don't know how you do it. wish I could |
![]() Miss Laura
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#8
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To the average person, I'm pretty good at putting up a front. To my therapist, nope. She can almost always see right through it. She's obviously trained in this stuff, though.
Sometimes I can hide things from my therapist, like laughing when I'm depressed. Though eventually I can't hide it anymore. It just pains me so much to hide it all the time since I'm hiding it from everybody. I just have to let it out some way or another. |
#9
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I used to front at work unless somebody cut me down.
I don't front much anymore. I don't have to hide anything now. |
#10
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I’m brilliant when I am faking it til I make it. I was brought up this way “ hi how are you ? I’m great thanks , you?
I have walked up to my husband and tell him I need Ip ... he has had no clue I hide things that well. Can’t change the way I was raised. I will always put on that “ im fine “ face.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() *Laurie*
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#11
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Zero choice. Everything is on me to keep us off the street, so failing is not an option. I have to keep at least some degree of a front to keep a job. No job = homeless as I have no other support. Can only manage part time (and have minimum wage) so we're always close to the edge. Severe depression is the worst, and there comes a point I cannot fake it, but that is one reason I don't work with the public. I can't "really turn it on", but I can *usually* swing "subdued" at least. People *have* noticed, but I keep to myself as it is, so usually they don't. Or they don't say anything anyway, lol.
I try not to fake it in therapy. That took some work. Edited to add, yeah, like Christina, I was raised that you NEVER let on. So, decades of practice...Also, I have a morbid fear of having to explain myself. |
![]() *Laurie*
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![]() *Laurie*, ~Christina
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#12
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Even when im manic i tell people im fine. I finally have broken down and told my pdoc how ive been feeling but lots of times it feels so fake. Most pdocs see through me and send me to ip anyway
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#13
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Just wanted to ad I’m open and honest with my Pdoc and T and a couple close friends.
But in general my game face is always on.
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
#14
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Did it for YEARS, oh yeah Tracy's always happy, always got a smile on her face. Everything rolls right off her back. Then one day, it all went to ****..couldn't do it anymore, lost my **** big time. I don't even try anymore. Its exhausting to be honest
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
![]() *Laurie*
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![]() *Laurie*
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#15
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I was raised never talking about feelings. I never seen my mother cry except when her father passed away. As an adult I would just say “I’m fine” when asked how I was. A few years ago I stopped doing that. Now I say “ I’m decent”.
I do not believe in faking it. My niece had a baby shower. I was not about to go be fake happy and smile. She gave birth two weeks later I went to my sister’s house to visit my niece and her baby. It was not crowded. It was relaxing and I did not have anxiety.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
#16
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All the time. I have bizarre thoughts that are outside the realm of BP that I can't share with anyone. They are things I would never actually do, but the thoughts come unbidden. As far as BP (2 in my case), I hide depression better than hypomania. Actually, I should say I hide the depth of depression well; people can generally tell I am down, but I manage not to cry in front of others.
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| |Up and down |And in the end it's only round and round |Pink Floyd - Us and Them | |bipolar II, substance use disorder, ADD |lamictal, straterra | |
#17
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I am pretty good at it for work purposes, and to generally function in society. If I try extra hard I can put up a front for friends and close family. When doing very poorly, I lose this ability somewhat, or can only keep it up for very brief periods of time. I try to be open and honest with my close friends, therapist and psychiatrist now. This wasn't always the case, such as when I tried to hide an eating disorder.
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#18
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Absolutely. Yes. I was also raised with the teaching that decent people don't wash their underwear in public. I don't even have the first clue of how to show how I truly feel. I've never known a pdoc or therapist to see the "real me", either. Furthermore, on the rare occasion I do express my feelings it seems I get into some kind of trouble or another for doing so.
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![]() Cocosurviving
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#19
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#20
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I play poker for money. And win more often than not.
The mouth is another story. It has gotten me in trouble more than I want to remember. It has put me in jail, to say the least. Has almost cost me my life too. More than once. Not even Superman is perfect.
__________________
]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
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