I need help...

I’m seriously thinking about checking myself into the hospital right now. I think I may be in a mixed episode. I know I’m not thinking correctly and my behavior has become really bazaar. In the past three weeks I got hired for three different jobs and couldn’t manage to show up for any of them. I am broke and really need a job right now. Plus, I know I screwed a lot of people over by doing this. It wasn’t intentional. I just kept on having huge breakdowns right before I was supposed to go into work. In addition to that I sent a bunch of embarrassing, crazy tweets to famous youtubers with my account using my real name. (The worst part is I actually got some responses back) I spent well over $1000 on a camera and video recording equipment believing that I am going to become a youtube star. Again, I am broke. Also, I keep on impulsively going to fast food restaurants and buying a TON of food that I don’t need (I will easily spend $50+) for god knows why. I just feel convinced that I need it at the time. Just about every night I am up till 4 am playing video games and then wake up again around 7 and game some more. I keep fluctuating between doing these random, crazy things and feeling extreme depression and shame for doing them. I felt so embarrassed over some of these things that I’ve had feelings of wanting to harm myself. I don’t know if making an emergency appointment with my pdoc will suffice or if I need IP at this point. I am gradually getting worse. I really hate IP and want to avoid it at all costs. Please help me…

Hello Lightning: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

From what you wrote, it does sound as though you may be in need of some immediate real-life help. I can't tell you what the best way to proceed is. However you mentioned you've thought of harming yourself. So I would encourage you to get in touch with your pdoc as soon as possible.

I know you wrote you hate IP. But given your circumstances at the moment, that may be the best option for you. That's something for you to make a decision about with your pdoc. The important thing right now, I believe, is to not wait & allow circumstances to worsen. Do what you need to do now to "stem the tide", as we used to say. My best wishes to you.

I would call your psychiatrist be completely honest and listen to their instruction.

I would show your doctor what you typed here.

As a fellow sufferer, I can only say that I’ve felt what you’re feeling and my behaviors were diagnosed as a mixed episode.

No one — no one — hates IP more than me (maybe because I had 3+ years of it). That said, I think that it’s your best option at this time.

My experience has been that my pdoc will tell me to go in through the ER for admission, but you should talk to your pdoc first and follow their advice.

Good luck.

First, welcome to the forums, Lightning2127!

They say if you're wondering if you need IP, you probably do. Given that you'd rather avoid it, you might proceed like this... contact your pdoc, let them know you are in a bad way and see what they advise. That might be an appointment. If so, I'd second what Guiness said about showing your post to them. Maybe they will recommend the hospital, either over the phone or at an appointment. If so, I'd do it. It's probably the best way to get a handle on things.

But if you become a danger to yourself, get straight to an ER, ok?

Call Pdoc and let them know.

That said when I get that bad I need IP no question about it.

Please stay safe

I agree with what the others have said. Call your pdoc and let him sort it out for you. None of us likes IP, but sometimes it's the best thing for us. Hugs.

Calling the pdoc is a good option if you can get a return call quickly. That's not my case. Mine has just advised me that if I begin to have suicidal thoughts go straight to the hospital.

How are you now, dear one?

I agree with the others. I am not sure if you have a psychiatrist, but if you do, you should definitely call and talk with him/her or better yet get a quick emergency appointment. if you cannot talk to your pdoc quickly (if you don't have one getting on a waiting list is very common, so I'd suggest going inpatient).

If you feel that you need inpatient, it is likely that you do especially with all the issues you are having lately or if you need it to keep from harming yourself (risky driving, suicidal ideation, self-harm), you should go inpatient.