[Blueberrybook]

Grief is hard, but sometimes, it's so weird. For me, it's the little things that bring on the tears and crying and not the big stuff like the telephone call telling you someone has gone (particularly if the person in question is gravely ill).

Many people out there do not like or get along with their mothers-in-law. But I got so lucky with mine, even though she lived so far away. Before her health started failing, we'd usually see my father-in-law and her 2-3 times a year (they drove from CA to TX). She passed away late last December. Hearing that she had passed did not really surprise me; based off FIL's latest telephone calls. I didn't cry about it.

I cleaned my office recently, and I found these bright green blinking bracelets to wear while walking or jogging in the dark. I walk/jog a lot when it is still dark outside because of living in such a hot area, and my mother-in-law knew that. The very last thing she ordered from my daughter's school fundraiser last school year (besides some candy for my daughter) was that set of bracelets for me. Finding them made me a little sad when I was cleaning, but it wasn't a huge ordeal.

Today, I decided to use the bracelets for the first time, and I got teary and crying and upset over her death. In my rank of family, she fell before all of my aunts (I only have aunts by blood relation, no uncles and also no 1st cousins), right after my 2 sisters. So for me it's left a gap.

I didn't go to the wake or funeral; neither my daughter nor I did. We could only afford one plane ticket out to California and back, and obviously, my husband had to go. Though I am probably am better off remembering her alive and interacting with my daughter and making my daughter laugh.

I went running this morning, and afterwards, I still felt sad. I was sad about it most of the morning, really, even though I had other things that needed doing that were stressful and frustrating.

It's funny though how sometimes the little things bring out grief. I never would have expected using those jogging bracelets would affect me so much.

[wiretwister]

a death is always hard ... lots of memories ... thoughts of reqrets ... these things take time ... let yourself grieve ... I told my dad there was no reason to hold on for us kids ... he seemed to relax ... and passed within an hour ... the pain the no chance of recovery ... it seemed the kindest words I could offer ... each of us will come to that time ... and I know no one who would want to cause suffering after they have passed ... remember the good times ... let the rest just fade away ... peace to you ... Tigger .

[BipolaRNurse]

I totally understand.

I recently went through the second anniversary of my husband's passing, and what got me was not the actual date, but finding a drawer full of his clothes that I'd forgotten about when I was cleaning out the dresser and closet a few months ago. I just sat right down on the floor and bawled. I guess I needed it though, because I felt a lot better afterwards.

Hoping you feel better soon. Hugs.

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( HUGS ))))))

[Movingon69]

I lost my mom ten years ago. We didn't have a good relationship until I was 30. I had a better understanding of her life and, while not condoning things she let happen, I understood the dynamics of her marriage better and forgave her. She tried to ask for forgiveness on her death bed and I told her we didn't need to discuss it. I had forgiven her a long time ago. I didn't want her last days to be full of regret. I thought her birthday would be the hardest for me, but, not, it is the anniversary of her birthday and MOther's Day. I won't even get on FB that day. I can't take all the happy pictures with people with their moms.

[Movingon69]

I lost my mom ten years ago. We didn't have a good relationship until I was 30. I had a better understanding of her life and, while not condoning things she let happen, I understood the dynamics of her marriage better and forgave her. She tried to ask for forgiveness on her death bed and I told her we didn't need to discuss it. I had forgiven her a long time ago. I didn't want her last days to be full of regret. I thought her birthday would be the hardest for me, but, not, it is the anniversary of her birthday and MOther's Day. I won't even get on FB that day. I can't take all the happy pictures with people with their moms.

There was a woman in my life at one time that was a mentor a second mother to me since I lived in a city other than my mother. She's responsible for setting me on my career path. We were total opposites. I was the eternal optimist and thought anything could be done (anyone hear mania in this?) She was the eternal pessimist. I would often run my ideas past her to see what I might be missing. We moved from that city to Houston. Shortly thereafter her husband died and since her daughters lived in Houston she moved into a retirement community and I got to continue seeing her. This woman was a MASTER of writing hand written notes. Yes, she came from a generation where that was proper etiquette but hers were special. Every time I received one in the mail I was so excited. I've kept every one of the notes she sent me. She has passed and every once in a while I open the drawer where they are kept and I read them. I cry and still mourn the loss of our friendship, wisdom, and advice.

A lot of you know I'm having trouble with my trouble over decisions made in manic states. Yesterday I came across some letters they wrote thanking me for being such a great mom and I bawled like a baby. I wish they could remember those feelings in addition to the resentment they feel now.

[Movingon69]

Originally Posted by cln1812

Grief is hard, but sometimes, it's so weird. For me, it's the little things that bring on the tears and crying and not the big stuff like the telephone call telling you someone has gone (particularly if the person in question is gravely ill).

Many people out there do not like or get along with their mothers-in-law. But I got so lucky with mine, even though she lived so far away. Before her health started failing, we'd usually see my father-in-law and her 2-3 times a year (they drove from CA to TX). She passed away late last December. Hearing that she had passed did not really surprise me; based off FIL's latest telephone calls. I didn't cry about it.

I cleaned my office recently, and I found these bright green blinking bracelets to wear while walking or jogging in the dark. I walk/jog a lot when it is still dark outside because of living in such a hot area, and my mother-in-law knew that. The very last thing she ordered from my daughter's school fundraiser last school year (besides some candy for my daughter) was that set of bracelets for me. Finding them made me a little sad when I was cleaning, but it wasn't a huge ordeal.

Today, I decided to use the bracelets for the first time, and I got teary and crying and upset over her death. In my rank of family, she fell before all of my aunts (I only have aunts by blood relation, no uncles and also no 1st cousins), right after my 2 sisters. So for me it's left a gap.

I didn't go to the wake or funeral; neither my daughter nor I did. We could only afford one plane ticket out to California and back, and obviously, my husband had to go. Though I am probably am better off remembering her alive and interacting with my daughter and making my daughter laugh.

I went running this morning, and afterwards, I still felt sad. I was sad about it most of the morning, really, even though I had other things that needed doing that were stressful and frustrating.

It's funny though how sometimes the little things bring out grief. I never would have expected using those jogging bracelets would affect me so much.

So, we found a house in League City. I know you may end up in Beaumont. I am a runner too (well, let's be honest I'm more of a jogger). I also try to go really early in the morning. If you ever want company let me know. The house is under construction and we should be settled mid-October

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Movingon69

So, we found a house in League City. I know you may end up in Beaumont. I am a runner too (well, let's be honest I'm more of a jogger). I also try to go really early in the morning. If you ever want company let me know. The house is under construction and we should be settled mid-October

Yeah, that's very close to La Porte. Lamar hasn't come through, so we're staying here for now. I'm looking for work, having no luck. My youngest sister lives in Friendswood, which is very close to League City. Certain places I go to in the Webster area (pdoc, pediatrician, gastroenterologist) technically have addresses in Houston, but really they are in the Webster/Clear Lake Area near League City.

[Tucson]

When my mother passed, I did not feel a thing. I thought something was wrong with me. The last year of taking care of her was a nightmare every single day. So now I can understand, for I was just trying to cope. Now a year later, my daughter started talking to me about how she misses her grandmother. She talked about the horsey that my mother purchased for her when she was very young. We ended up both crying which I rarely do, and the first time I have done this with someone else in the room. I am beginning to miss my mother, the way she once was. Now my “second mother” who I have known since my teenage years is now 89 years old. I told her to hold on as long as possible. Actually I told her that she has some time yet to live, or so I hope. I will miss her greatly.

Originally Posted by wiretwister

a death is always hard ... lots of memories ... thoughts of reqrets ... these things take time ... let yourself grieve ... I told my dad there was no reason to hold on for us kids ... he seemed to relax ... and passed within an hour ... the pain the no chance of recovery ... it seemed the kindest words I could offer ... each of us will come to that time ... and I know no one who would want to cause suffering after they have passed ... remember the good times ... let the rest just fade away ... peace to you ... Tigger .

yes this.

Possible trigger:

I lost my friend bethany to suicide a few years ago, and I still grieve her.

her memories are everywhere