[stahrgeyzer]

i can't seem to shake this endless cycle. doesn't it ever go away???? every 6 to 15 days or so something bad happens that makes me have an emotional meltdown and I want more than anything than to end it. the only thing that saves me is that i'm afraid to end it in the usual ways such as

Possible trigger:

the wrists or jumping.

for my own weird reasons the only way i'll do it is to go to the forest to be with nature and die of starvation but that takes time. i just love the nature people and hate humans soooooooooooooooooooooooo much including myself

i don't have a therapist but dont think any medicine could help. doesn't this cycle ever end? every time i keep hoping that will be the last time. it's like clockwork. just waiting for the next dreadful painful explosion

I hope you feel better soon, star

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

i can't seem to shake this endless cycle. doesn't it ever go away???? every 6 to 15 days or so something bad happens that makes me have an emotional meltdown and I want more than anything than to end it. the only thing that saves me is that i'm afraid to end it in the usual ways such as

Possible trigger:

the wrists or jumping.

for my own weird reasons the only way i'll do it is to go to the forest to be with nature and die of starvation but that takes time. i just love the nature people and hate humans soooooooooooooooooooooooo much including myself

i don't have a therapist but dont think any medicine could help. doesn't this cycle ever end? every time i keep hoping that will be the last time. it's like clockwork. just waiting for the next dreadful painful explosion

Star, I understand how you feel. I can't take any meds that would help my depression bc my chemistry makes me way too sensitive to SSRI's, but I do go to therapy, and it does help. I believe that any person having these type of issues, needs to talk with someone, bc just letting it out does feel a little better. Also there are other things that a therapist can do other than medication, and with the way this world is today, everyone thinks to take a pill, and it will be a quick fix (not true). All of us want to be normal people, but what is normal. I believe everyone struggles with there life sometimes, and we all have to try to make it through. Sometimes life gets better, sometimes it doesn't, but everyone has to make there way through. We all on this site try to give each other support, and you have mine. If you ever just need to chat, and I am on, (bc I also have physical issues that put me down) It would be ok if you messaged me to chat. Please think about talking with someone, what can it hurt to at least talk?

[Blueberrybook]

I am so sorry. I have gone through that too. The things that stop me are my husband and daughter. If I didn't have them, I don't know where I'd be with it. When it happens, do you have a support system and someone to talk to? Even later, is there anyone? Or someone you can text? I texted with one of my sisters during a horrible, long-lasting panic attack verging on a total meltdown, and it helped me calm down a little.
Even writing a post on here, even if you type it and don't post it might help.

[clydeblack]

I understand how you feel. It's exhausting and it does feel like a neverending cycle. Also, it is definitely scary to know that your mind can flip like that...often when you need it most. I jump to suicide every time the smallest bad thing happens. It feels unfair, doesn't it?

Hopefully, something will work for you. I really want you to be able to manage life more easily.

[stahrgeyzer]

Thanks for all of the support and help! I've never been to a therapist. It seems like it would feel too awkward sitting face to face with a stranger talking about this. It must take a lot of courage but if the cycle never ends then that might be the only option. Thankfully last night I decided to text someone I was friends with years ago. She replied so maybe things will be better. Idk...

[Wild Coyote]

I am sorry for all you go through.
So glad you are reaching out!

I go through similar times, too often, too.

I have found some meds helpful at times; yet, it has taken a lot of trial and error. I find therapy helpful with things meds do not help so much.

I hope you continue to reach out, both here and in your life.
Keep posting if it helps.


WC

Thanks for reaching out, stahrgeyzer. Talking with a therapist isn't so bad -- in fact, personally, I find it easier to talk to a "stranger". I use quotes because they cease to be strangers before very long, and they provide a non-judgemental safe space to talk. Which is pretty cool as that can be hard to find outside.

I'm sorry you are going through such intense spells. I wonder if you might find DBT helpful(?) It is geared toward emotional regulation, which might ease the intensity of the episodes. Something to consider anyhow.

Sending good thoughts your way...

[Victoria'smom]

What about going to a group? You don't have to talk just listen. It can help you feel not so lonely.