[pirilin]

Doing good still. Only biting more than I can chew.
I hope I get outbid at some of the auctions. Or else.

[Sunflower123]

((((( WC )))))

I think it's too early to tell if the ECT is helping or not, although I do feel really revved up when I wake up from it. I wouldn't say I'm really depressed now, but there is some paranoia breaking through. I was really stressed this morning and heard voices too. It's not even that my bipolar is particularly unstable right now, I just want to lower the dose on my Clozaril. I'm getting tachycardia, constipation, excessive sleep, and weight gain as side effects and I just can't handle it anymore. I hope I get to lower the dose soon. I know I shouldn't, but I've thought of lowering the dose on my own. This is almost as intolerable as Risperdal.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

((((( WC )))))

Thanks, Jennifer!
You made me smile!
Hugs Backatcha!

WC

[yellow_fleurs]

I knew this week would be tough before my period again, but I am really struggling. My mood is very low, and I keep feeling extreme guilt, sadness, emptiness. I feel very disconnected from everyone around me. Also more anxious, and even less trusting of others.

Possible trigger:

I have lots of violent and suicidal thoughts all day. I have been waking up feeling dread and sometimes the first thought in my mind is that I want to die, even before thinking anything else.

My SO is in town which is kind of helpful, but have been feeling so disconnected I almost think he would be better off dating someone else. Trying to schedule an appointment with a therapist, but haven't had luck yet. At least I am making it to work each day and I think doing an okay job of it so far.

[wildflowerchild25]

I am still feeling very depressed. I’m going to try to apply for more jobs tomorrow. I haven’t been even looking due to depression but I’ve found a few yesterday and will apply tomorrow hopefully.

I spent the day in bed today. From 8:45am to 3:45pm. Got up briefly to eat lunch. Was supposed to go grocery shopping but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Will try again tomorrow. My T Says I need to do the behavioral part of depression therapy (opposite action) and not just rely on meds since meds don’t always work for me. She’s right. This is still more of a situational depression though because I’m not getting suicidal which I inevitably do in episodic depression. I’m just trying not to slide into an actual episode. That means actually getting up and doing **** I’m supposed to do.

I promised my son I’d take him to the arcade on Saturday. He’s been asking to go for a few weeks now and I keep putting it off because, well, the arcade sucks lol. I don’t like it. Plus I can’t stand that long with my back (which has not improved yet with the injections). But I’ll just take Ibuprofen and suck it up so he can have some fun. I don’t want to keep being such a downer for him.

Sigh. My boyfriend still isn’t talking as much though he did text me today to tell me to have a nice day which was sweet of him. I think I just have to let him get through his gramdma’s Funeral and stuff like that. Hoping to see him on Wednesday. We will see.

I just hope I don’t get suicidal. I don’t deal well with suicidal thoughts.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by spikes

I think it's too early to tell if the ECT is helping or not, although I do feel really revved up when I wake up from it. I wouldn't say I'm really depressed now, but there is some paranoia breaking through. I was really stressed this morning and heard voices too. It's not even that my bipolar is particularly unstable right now, I just want to lower the dose on my Clozaril. I'm getting tachycardia, constipation, excessive sleep, and weight gain as side effects and I just can't handle it anymore. I hope I get to lower the dose soon. I know I shouldn't, but I've thought of lowering the dose on my own. This is almost as intolerable as Risperdal.

(((((( Spikes ))))))

Thinking of you.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I am still feeling very depressed. I’m going to try to apply for more jobs tomorrow. I haven’t been even looking due to depression but I’ve found a few yesterday and will apply tomorrow hopefully.

I spent the day in bed today. From 8:45am to 3:45pm. Got up briefly to eat lunch. Was supposed to go grocery shopping but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Will try again tomorrow. My T Says I need to do the behavioral part of depression therapy (opposite action) and not just rely on meds since meds don’t always work for me. She’s right. This is still more of a situational depression though because I’m not getting suicidal which I inevitably do in episodic depression. I’m just trying not to slide into an actual episode. That means actually getting up and doing **** I’m supposed to do.

I promised my son I’d take him to the arcade on Saturday. He’s been asking to go for a few weeks now and I keep putting it off because, well, the arcade sucks lol. I don’t like it. Plus I can’t stand that long with my back (which has not improved yet with the injections). But I’ll just take Ibuprofen and suck it up so he can have some fun. I don’t want to keep being such a downer for him.

Sigh. My boyfriend still isn’t talking as much though he did text me today to tell me to have a nice day which was sweet of him. I think I just have to let him get through his gramdma’s Funeral and stuff like that. Hoping to see him on Wednesday. We will see.

I just hope I don’t get suicidal. I don’t deal well with suicidal thoughts.

(((((( Wildflowerchild ))))))

I hope things get better, soon!


WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Hi to all of youse...

Having an endoscopy early Monday morning. GI doc put me on Protonix and basically told me to suck it up. I’m still getting an abdominal ultrasound after she sees the liver blood work. Speaking of which...the lab thought I was supposed to have a kidney function panel instead. Called to correct it and saved myself another blood draw.

The contractor has been late every day so far with one thing or another, so our three day max job is now stretching into its fourth day. My husband and I are taking bets on when he comes in now. We finally took a shower upstairs because we couldn’t take the funk much longer.

Despite the chaos and frustration I’m doing okay. I sure hope this installer doesn’t work through the entire weekend because our cat will be going room crazy.

Lots of love and hugs. Hope things work out or at least get a bit of a reprieve.

[Pookyl]

This pain is starting to impact my mood Even gentle walking hurts.

[TheSeaCat]

Today was okay, I was not as productive the past couple days, which is okay. The boyfriend ended up staying home from work thanks to his asthma. We spent the day cuddled on the couch catching up on Marvel movies. I keep getting super excited every time my phone rings expecting those results. Which I know won't happen till sometime next week. I hope everyone is doing alright tonight.

I've been going to bed at my regular 1:00am and laying awake til dawn for several days. Yesterday i went later at 4:30am and got right to sleep. That was nice but i slept or dozed most of the day and the only place i could get out to at 8:00pm when i was finally ready was a 24-hour coffee shop. It's not the best lifestyle but i guess it's not the worst.

I'm putting in a conscious effort to eat healthier. I'm trying to cut out processed food, but I'm slowly weaning myself off it. I'm currently eating cereal every morning instead of, say, frozen waffles with syrup and whipped cream. Cereal has lots of good nutrition for the most part, aside from the obvious sugar and preservatives.

For lunch today, I made myself homemade ravioli, including the sauce! I love making my own sauce, too. I can put whatever the heck I want in it and it'll almost always be healthier than canned stuff loaded with tons of salt and many, many preservatives. I barely put any salt in my own, for example. And the best part was, it took all of 10 mins. Makes me wonder why I even buy sauce on the shelves anymore when it's cheaper and healthier to just get a big can of crushed or pureed tomatoes.

Yesterday at work I made myself sweet chili tofu with steamed green beans and (yeah, I know) a single veggie potsticker. But the potsticker was a treat. lol. I might learn how to make my own so that they're healthier for me. Now THAT would be awesome!

Otherwise, doing ok. Haven't s*** in 2 days, so we'll see. I'm hoping to s*** by tomorrow night. If not, I'm f***ed... again.

[Blueberrybook]

Today is already hard, and it's only 6:15 AM. H is super depressed. We had put together a tight budget, and then he got bad news about how the insurance is going to be so much worse next year, and how in the world can we budget to keep things together?

H says he needs to job search and start it sooner rather than later. Not only does being a teacher not pay great, but most teachers have to put in extra hours for grading and admin stuff, get held late by constant meetings, etc. So they work a lot more hours than it looks like from the surface, and I think that is doing H in. He said he doesn't mind the teaching or the kids; his issues are with all the other stuff.

I am worried and pretty sure H is clinically depressed due to the situation. I'm depressed and anxious about it too. He said he is going to start mailing contacts he has from past jobs and see if they know of anything, and God, I hope one of them can help, or we are going to lose the house. He has never had any luck with online job searches, so unless he finds something out there with personal connections that can help, it doesn't do him much good.

[wildflowerchild25]

I feel better today bc I have plans to go to my grandma’s house to help her out. That gives me something to do. I don’t know if I’ll have time to get my grocery shopping done but I can take my son with me over the weekend. I’d rather get out of the house for awhile. I have to change my pdoc appt but I’m ok with that. I don’t think she can really help me anyway. I don’t think a med change will help.

[Moose72]

I finally got all the paperwork done and turned in for medicaid redetermination for the kids. Woot!

[Unrigged64072835]

Installer will be here until Sunday. Oh well.

Our AC unit in the sunroom broke. Husband is banking on cooler weather because we can’t get one now.

Otherwise a quiet day.

Need to feed the cat. She is already wanting to get out.

[wildflowerchild25]

Had a better day today because I hung out with my mom and grandma. Still a little depressed but much better than the past few days. I hope it continues into the next few days.

I’m stuffed from lunch and dinner. We had a late lunch (burgers and sweet potato fries - yum!) but I always have an early dinner with my son on fridays. So now I feel stuffed to the gills. I’ve been gaining weight because of being depressed and not counting calories as closely as I should. I’ve gained about six pounds. I’m going to try to get back on track next week. Well, Sunday. I would start tomorrow but I’m going to be drinking and that’s always a huge calorie influx so **** it.

Taking my son to the arcade tomorrow. Bleh. I hate the arcade. But he loves it so it’s a minor inconvenience to me to make him happy.

Hugs to all that need them!

[Moreta]

Life has been going pretty good. The only thing I can complain about is that my body isn't used to doing all this stuff. haha. Man I'm tired. I saw a new dr and came up with a game plan. Started my co-op job too and that's going great. Just wish my body wouldn't hurt so much. Going to a mindfulness class tomorrow at the women's club in the morning and if my friend wants to go then we might go to ulta after, if not then i'll just go to the farmer's market.

[~Christina]

So so so tired and no real reason for it other than it maybe a part of getting back home ( likely)

[TheSeaCat]

Again I didn’t do much today. I do think the new dose of Seroquel is helping me stay stable. Hope everyone is doing well tonight.

[Pookyl]

My health issues are starting to get me down. After 10 days of back pain I’m still struggling to walk.
I saw my GP this morning. Nothing like running through every thing that’s wrong with me to make me feel like crap.

food didn't agree with me last night and made me quite ilkl

despite this I can't control the overeating and it's just as bad today as it has been for a long, long time

nwew cd decided to jump after I played it only twice- spent a while cleaning it, only for it to jump again today

- I am in a high amount of pain with my back and my legs

- I didn't sleep, though did read my book a little

food didn't agree with me last night and made me quite
ill

despite this I can't control the overeating and it's just as bad today as it has been for a long, long time

new cd decided to jump after I played it only twice- spent a while cleaning it, only for it to jump again today

- I am in a high amount of pain with my back and my legs

- I didn't sleep, though did read my book a little

[Daonnachd]

I awoke at 3:30, fully alert - again. So I got up and put yesterday's freshly washed sheets on the bed in the other bedroom. We have guests coming today to stay the night. And our refrigerator still hasn't arrived.

...But I feel fairly well in spite of it all.