[Pookyl]

Pain free day today (so far). Yay!!

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

Pain free day today (so far). Yay!!

Being pain free is a huge deal!

[~Christina]

2 weeks off my Enbrel and holy hell all my joints are screaming. Guess it is working !

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

2 weeks off my Enbrel and holy hell all my joints are screaming. Guess it is working !

Ouch! Just two weeks... wow!
I need to get onto Enbrel, but have had so many med changes it has needed to wait. I hope you feel much more comfortable soon!

WC

yesterday wasn't good.

lost the morning to time loss, spent a lot of the afternoon in cronic pain and was just upset/ depressed about everything

after another night with no sleep... (surprise surprise)

anxiety is high- mood is, so so I guess, overeating is terrible, pain is... I guess manageable but could be better, and I'm not really up to much

Thanks for everyone's support. It means a lot to me.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Blue I’m so sorry you are going through this.

Unfortunately I went through the same thing and never got a outcome , I want to think the person just left PC. PC can be helpful but it can also trigger to some people

I hope you hear good news soon.

Sorry you had to endure that too.

It's a very tough thing to deal with, and I agree about PC being triggering at times.

I just want to know they're ok and getting the help they need. I wish I were closer so I could help more than just 911.

[yellow_fleurs]

Felt like I couldn't make it through last night, but I did. Hoping for a better day.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Ugh. My boyfriend just broke up with me. I KNEW he was gonna do it. He said he doesn’t have time for me right now and he feels it’s unfair. I’m sad but at least I knew it was coming. It’s not completely out of left field.

And I don’t feel like I did anything wrong so I’m not gonna dwell on what I could have done better. It’s just unfortunate circumstances. I’m sad he didn’t like me enough to try to work through it but whatever.

Hopefully I’ll get a job this week to make myself feel better lol.

I had one like that too. In my case though, he just couldn't get over his ex. The more & more he talked about her, the more & more I just knew the breakup was coming.

In hindsight, I should have broken up with him first.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

Pain free day today (so far). Yay!!

That's awesome! I've had a lot of panic attacks lately, so I understand the feeling.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Felt like I couldn't make it through last night, but I did. Hoping for a better day.

I hope you have a better day today. I really hate when I have times like that.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

yesterday wasn't good.

lost the morning to time loss, spent a lot of the afternoon in cronic pain and was just upset/ depressed about everything

after another night with no sleep... (surprise surprise)

anxiety is high- mood is, so so I guess, overeating is terrible, pain is... I guess manageable but could be better, and I'm not really up to much

I'm so sorry about your pain. I have fibromyalgia, and when it flares, it's awful. Luckily, I do have breaks between the flares, where I still may hurt, just not so bad.

Are you on anything for sleep?

[Blueberrybook]

So, so tired this morning, and it's not even 7:30 AM. I wonder if this is from lowering the dose of Wellbutrin from 300 mg to 150 mg? I'm just spent. My memory is still OK, better than last week. I didn't walk this morning, just too darn tired.

I see the pdoc this morning, or I'd just go back to sleep after dropping my daughter off at school. And at some point, I have to take her clothes shopping (something she hates). She will only wear dresses because of her sensory issues, but I think we've gone outside the kid sizes & will have to go to juniors, which is more expensive. It's frustrating; the kids' dresses still fit her, but they are getting too short. Twice I've had calls from the school to bring her shorts or a different dress, and she only has one long dress...sigh. I really could do without more calls like that from the school. And the frustrating thing is according to the school dress code, the dress is long enough, but maybe it's her proportions. I don't know. H is tall (6'4"). When my daughter comes out with the other walkers in her grade, she is the tallest girl though I am sure she is not the oldest since her birthday is mid-December.

It's raining today. The rain is actually comforting. I feel at peace.

I've been happy that my sister and I have communicated with each other frequently lately. We've never fought about anything, but sometimes there is a quiet.

Sis sent me the notice of an American Foundation for Suicide walk for suicide awareness and prevention. She and my eldest nephew will participate. I responded that I definitely want to join them. Actually, I think even my husband will, too, but I doubt my brother-in-law will, but I understand.

Possible trigger:

My youngest nephew left us by suicide in June 2017. I remember he joined my sister and I for a NAMI walk some years ago. I remember that he raised the most money for donations of any of us. He really wanted to help. I also remember two times I visited him in the hospital years ago I brought him goodies. He told me he would share them with other patients. That's the kind of guy he was.

I think of my youngest nephew every day. Every day. My family is devastated.

I, obviously, see posts about suicide or extreme desperation often here and other places. Perhaps this may seem odd, but I rarely respond to them because I don't quite know what to say. Of course I want to yell "No!! Don't do it!" I wish I could stop everyone from such permanent actions. I want to remind people that such plans or actions are the illness' fault. I want to remind people that things always improve. I swear they do. It requires patience sometimes. Excruciating patience, but better times do come. After death, there is no more life on earth ever. No chance ever for improvement. Ever, at least to my knowledge.

If anyone here lives in NJ or near western or central NJ and wishes to participate in the walk I mentioned, it's on Sunday, October 28th in the morning to early afternoon. Details can be found at Out of the Darkness Walks No fundraising necessary. Other walks around the country can be found on that website, too, and NAMI often has walks (Home | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness).

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Thanks for everyone's support. It means a lot to me.





Sorry you had to endure that too.


It's a very tough thing to deal with, and I agree about PC being triggering at times.


I just want to know they're ok and getting the help they need. I wish I were closer so I could help more than just 911.

Hope you get some info soon.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

It's raining today. The rain is actually comforting. I feel at peace.


I've been happy that my sister and I have communicated with each other frequently lately. We've never fought about anything, but sometimes there is a quiet.


Sis sent me the notice of an American Foundation for Suicide walk for suicide awareness and prevention. She and my eldest nephew will participate. I responded that I definitely want to join them. Actually, I think even my husband will, too, but I doubt my brother-in-law will, but I understand.

Possible trigger:

My youngest nephew left us by suicide in June 2017. I remember he joined my sister and I for a NAMI walk some years ago. I remember that he raised the most money for donations of any of us. He really wanted to help. I also remember two times I visited him in the hospital years ago I brought him goodies. He told me he would share them with other patients. That's the kind of guy he was.


I think of my youngest nephew every day. Every day. My family is devastated.


I, obviously, see posts about suicide or extreme desperation often here and other places. Perhaps this may seem odd, but I rarely respond to them because I don't quite know what to say. Of course I want to yell "No!! Don't do it!" I wish I could stop everyone from such permanent actions. I want to remind people that such plans or actions are the illness' fault. I want to remind people that things always improve. I swear they do. It requires patience sometimes. Excruciating patience, but better times do come. After death, there is no more life on earth ever. No chance ever for improvement. Ever, at least to my knowledge.


If anyone here lives in NJ or near western or central NJ and wishes to participate in the walk I mentioned, it's on Sunday, October 28th in the morning to early afternoon. Details can be found at Out of the Darkness Walks No fundraising necessary. Other walks around the country can be found on that website, too, and NAMI often has walks (Home | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness).

I am so sorry for you loss.

I also lack the words, I never know what to say or how to express myself in these situations.

I’m glad your doing the Nami walk. I wish I was closer my group is over 100 miles away.

I will with be with you in spirit.

[Scooter9]

I have been feeling withdrawn and depressed lately. Have not felt like writing.

Still waiting for results from the Modafinil I started for two weeks ago, so probably still too early to know whether it'll do anything.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

It's raining today. The rain is actually comforting. I feel at peace.

I've been happy that my sister and I have communicated with each other frequently lately. We've never fought about anything, but sometimes there is a quiet.

Sis sent me the notice of an American Foundation for Suicide walk for suicide awareness and prevention. She and my eldest nephew will participate. I responded that I definitely want to join them. Actually, I think even my husband will, too, but I doubt my brother-in-law will, but I understand.

Possible trigger:

My youngest nephew left us by suicide in June 2017. I remember he joined my sister and I for a NAMI walk some years ago. I remember that he raised the most money for donations of any of us. He really wanted to help. I also remember two times I visited him in the hospital years ago I brought him goodies. He told me he would share them with other patients. That's the kind of guy he was.

I think of my youngest nephew every day. Every day. My family is devastated.

I, obviously, see posts about suicide or extreme desperation often here and other places. Perhaps this may seem odd, but I rarely respond to them because I don't quite know what to say. Of course I want to yell "No!! Don't do it!" I wish I could stop everyone from such permanent actions. I want to remind people that such plans or actions are the illness' fault. I want to remind people that things always improve. I swear they do. It requires patience sometimes. Excruciating patience, but better times do come. After death, there is no more life on earth ever. No chance ever for improvement. Ever, at least to my knowledge.

If anyone here lives in NJ or near western or central NJ and wishes to participate in the walk I mentioned, it's on Sunday, October 28th in the morning to early afternoon. Details can be found at Out of the Darkness Walks No fundraising necessary. Other walks around the country can be found on that website, too, and NAMI often has walks (Home | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness).

I walked in the AFSP walk in my town last year and I loved it. I really felt like I was part of a family even though it was just me and my brother walking. I plan to attend again this year providing my back holds up and I can actually walk two miles.

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

So, so tired this morning, and it's not even 7:30 AM. I wonder if this is from lowering the dose of Wellbutrin from 300 mg to 150 mg? I'm just spent. My memory is still OK, better than last week. I didn't walk this morning, just too darn tired.

I see the pdoc this morning, or I'd just go back to sleep after dropping my daughter off at school. And at some point, I have to take her clothes shopping (something she hates). She will only wear dresses because of her sensory issues, but I think we've gone outside the kid sizes & will have to go to juniors, which is more expensive. It's frustrating; the kids' dresses still fit her, but they are getting too short. Twice I've had calls from the school to bring her shorts or a different dress, and she only has one long dress...sigh. I really could do without more calls like that from the school. And the frustrating thing is according to the school dress code, the dress is long enough, but maybe it's her proportions. I don't know. H is tall (6'4"). When my daughter comes out with the other walkers in her grade, she is the tallest girl though I am sure she is not the oldest since her birthday is mid-December.

When my sister and I were in middle school, the school never measured the length of dresses, shorts, etc.. The school defined "too short" by comparing the length of the dresses/shorts relative to the knee. e.g., a pair of shorts that were more than X inches above the knee were deemed too short. So I'm surprised your daughter's school doesn't do that.

As for tank tops, the stupid straps had to be 3 finger widths. I don't know where the hell you're going to get a tank top with straps that were 3 finger widths. Then they said no cleavage could be shown, which was fair.

But this was a long time ago. Can't remember how many years it's been since I was in middle school.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Ongoing kitty stress. I had him tested for a bunch of bacterial diseases and he has one that Im not clear on the long-term effects. His mouth sore has healed up but now he has an ulcer in his ear. So he is now on an antibiotic for a month (and 3 more weeks of steroids). I have to buy a calendar to keep up with him! I'm trying not to think about what this has all cost and I really hope after the month of antibiotic he recovers.

I saw my pdoc yesterday. She wants to wait until a month from when the hallucinations I was having stopped and then we are trying a smaller cut to my Klonopin. Last time we tried reducing by .25 mg and this time will be .125 mg. Hopefully it will work out better.

I had to re-apply for Emsam patient assistance. This is twice in a matter of months and they didn't send me or my doctor any notice of this, just stopped sending my meds 2 months ago (I have a bit of a stockpile thank God). I'm really nervous about this because in the past they threatened that if an error that was never made by us ever was repeated I'd be dropped from the program since I'm grand-fathered in. Emsam is $1300/month so if they won't give it to me I'll have to go off and it's the only AD that ever helped me. So I'm nervous about this.

Things will work out somehow though. They always do, even when I don't like it.

[Blueberrybook]

Saw pdoc, kept on the lower dose of Wellbutrin. He wants me to gain more weight by the next appointment or it’s Remeron or the hospital. I f***ing hate Remeron. I am never full at all on it, and all I can do on it is eat and sleep. Last time I was on it didn’t go so well as it flipped my tendencies from anorexia to bulimia, and I told him that. I have actually gained a couple pounds though, but I unfortunately added a couple pounds to my weight the last time the pdoc asked what it was, and he made me use his scale this time around. It was stupid to pad out the number out last time since all I did was push this lecture 2 weeks into the future. Today’snumber would have looked better if he had weighed me outright last time instead of just asking my weight. The number should be better next time I see him since he now does have my actual weight, not padded out, and I have been very good about not exercising, trying to eat enough, and also napping quite a bit.

IDK, I must have looked bad or something this morning too as H told me to take care of myself today when he left, and that is not something he usually says in the morning to me before leaving for work. Maybe I am just looking tired. That did happen to me with ED recovery the first time around when most of the ED was due to overexercise versus restricting, and I stopped exercising pretty much altogether. I got so, so exhausted. It was like my body suddenly physically felt the cumulative effects of all those miles run, and I was exhausted and slept a lot. I am not sure if that is starting to happen again (that was 1 or 2 weeks the first time around but I was also much worse off, both weight wise and amount of time spent exercising). Could also be due to lowering the dose of Wellbutrin, but I was on this dose a good while and didn’t feel this tired on it before. But maybe the dosage change is enough, to go from 300 mg to 150mg.

My right hand hurts pretty bad from Saturday. That was the day H had me to call the pdoc about the forgetfulness. Pdoc said to take a lower dose of Wellbutrin in the morning, but I had already taken the higher dose that morning, so I couldn’t do anything about what I had already taken. I was cooking dinner that evening, took a pan out of the oven, flipped the pieces of garlic toast I had been cooking, said something to my daughter or H, and then completely forgetting the pan was hot, picked it back up to put into the oven without wearing oven mitts. I burned both my hands, but the right one much worse. The burn blister popped, and it’s in an area of the hand not easily bandaged or kept dry, but it hurts. I have been putting aloe vera on it and an antibiotic ointment at night. I haven’t had bad memory issues again, but it has only been a couple of days, and Saturday I really set the bar low, tons of other forgetful stuff, but burning myself because of forgetting to wear oven mitts was the worst. I had actually meant to tell the pdoc when I saw him 2 weeks ago I was having issues with distraction and short term memory, but I forgot.

[Moose72]

I was going to ride my bike but it is at my mom's house and her husband hung it up in the shed two days ago.

Tomorrow is N3's 17th birthday. We are having pizza at my mom's.

Im feeling better. Some paranoia left but much less than before.

Saw my primary yesterday: everythings on the up and up. She thinks a lot of it was caused by meds im no longer on now- including psych meds.

Well I have good news! I'm going to start coming off lorazepam in November using diazepam. It will take 9-10 months. I heard her wrong at our last appt and thought she said 2-3 months. I can do 9-10 months. So that's great news. I'm not so scared, yay!

[~Christina]

Between fibromyalgia and PsA today I want to rip off my skin literally.

/endrant

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Between fibromyalgia and PsA today I want to rip off my skin literally.

/endrant

That sucks. Im sorry. Gentle hugs.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Between fibromyalgia and PsA today I want to rip off my skin literally.

/endrant

I am sorry you are in pain!
Rant away anytime!
Feel better soon.