yesterday ....

something snapped ... not in a bad way at all ... to put it bluntly it just doesn't matter anymore ... job . family and life it's self ... just doesn't matter ...

I can't explain it ... just one moment my normal nervous self .. then ... nothing ... just like a rubber band snapping ...

I do not feel sad ... or scared ... or happy or any da** thing ... it just doesn't matter ...

at this moment ( and several before ) I am drowning myself in netflix and my soonkyu ...

don't know where this is leading ... maybe best ever .. maybe down fast ... just not sure ... it really just does not matter ....

I guess I should be either happy or scared silly ... but it does not matter .... not sure why I am even writing this ...

I have never felt like this before ... ever ... it really just does not matter ....

. Tigger ..


ps: no I have not had a med change in months

Awwww Tig

Just float ..... no point swimming up stream when you don’t even know what the hell is going on.

Just float my friend. Binge watching always helps somehow.

I wish I knew what to say advice wise, but I hope you feel better soon, Tigger.

I would probably binge watch Netflix too. I know it helps me a lot sometimes because it's a good distraction. I just don't have Netflix anymore, so I go with YouTube. I like watching something, getting a random suggestion that has nothing to do with the video I'm watching, and discovering something new.

I've had that happen sometimes. Are you dissociating a lot too? I just ask because I often do that when things start feeling that way, a coping mechanism I guess but one that I less & less want to come back from.

I wish there were some easy answers. Sometimes, I binge watch too or spend time on Youtube. Do you have a lot of stress going on in your life right now? Stress always makes things worse for me.

Maybe if things don't improve for you, you can contact your pdoc or therapist or you have a T on Monday?

(((((( Tigger ))))))

How are you doing today?


WC

Feeling any better hun ?!?!?!!

still dwelling in video land ... this feels like this is now my new normal ... something must have changed as two days with no xanex at all... or a need for it ... when nothing matters there is no reason to hide from anything ... no stress ... no anxiety ... it just is ...

I am not sure I even know what dissociating is or if I am doing that .... no stress ... none at all ... no T ... not for a long time ... could call pdoc if I needed to ... but I would not know what to tell or ask him to do ... can a med make you care about things ... when nothing matters ... ?

I will tell you this .... we have each other a good long while now.

You have been “ here” before.... sucks big time but it is what it is

In the past these things go away in a week or so for you it seems , at least it lifts up some so you can see the sun rise a bit

Don’t let Bipolar fool you! She’s a bytch.... but she’s always consistent about cycling , it will happen. We all just wish we knew the switch date now rather than wait for it.

Hang in there my friend

thank you ... you have been and continue to be a good friend ... that means a lot to me ..