Bipolar Questions Version 4

I have an American bulldog and a Quaker parrot that speaks up a storm.

Do you find pets to help your condition?

I don't have any, so wouldn't know.

I imagine they would, just not in a mental space to look after one (I know when I'm around other people's it's really calming)

at what age is your earliest memory

Four years old for sure. Flashes of stuff around beginning of my twos.

Do you have food you hated as a kid that, now that you're an adult, you think: "Not bad!" If so, what was it?

actually.. other way round

when I was a kid, I was obsessed with Spaghetti and beans (I even had beans on toast when I was old enough), but now I don't like any of those things. in my mind they taste "yucky"

I also used to eat bananas as a kid, now when I look back on it I can't help thinking.. wow, what a brave girl- bananas are so yucky (the texture in your mouth is disgusting)

are their any foods that you'd really like to try because they look tasty?. what are they

Lots of things. I'm not a picky eater. I've tried many different foods and dishes from all over the world, but there are countless that I've yet to try. I'd enjoy trying dishes/foods from various countries I've never tried. Maybe from the Middle East, Asia, and Africa.

Are you more alpha or beta or a combination?

I don't know (and not sure what it means)

I just looked it up and found a quiz with 35 questions to find out, but seeing as most of them had something to do with relationships, I lost interest after like the third question.

do you think mental health services are good in your state

I can't really comment for my whole state but for my area... They would have to exist for me to talk about quality.

There's counselors with the university and a smattering of counselors in the community, but no psychiatrists. No one with prescribing power for mental health treatment. To get one of them, you need to go to the city which is 1.5-2 hours round trip from where I live. Otherwise it's a Skype call. If one is in enough trouble to require a psych ward, the nearest one is about the same distance.

I'm lucky enough to see someone with whom I can get the proper care I need. A lot of people can't in my particular community.

What's the farthest you have to travel to keep a regular medical or therapy appointment?

Right now, the furthest I have to travel for a doctor for me (not hubby) is only 25 mins by car. That's for my nephrologist. My therapist is about 18 mins from my home by car, if traffic is light. My psychiatrist, dentist, and the phlebotomist offices are only 5 mins away by car. My GP and radiologist (for mamograms), 7 mins by car (same road). The nearest psychiatric hospital is within walking-distance of my home (15 mins by foot) and there is a different one 25 mins away by car. The nearest IOPs are also within walking-distance (17 and 20 mins by foot). There are two locations. One a woman's program and the other mixed male/female. The nearest general hospital is 20 mins away, which is also where my gynecologist is located. I guess I'm lucky.

What do you like and dislike about your psychiatrist and/or therapist?

I sat here for almost ten minutes trying to come up with something I like about my pdoc, but I just couldn't. In regards to my pdoc I dislike having to pay for parking, that he makes fun of my weight (when I'm on meds like Zyprexa, Depakote, and Clozaril), and that he's impossible to get an appointment with when I desperately need one.

I don't have a therapist.

Question: If you could tame any animal and keep it as a pet and have no problem taking care of it, what animal would you choose?

a lion.

to be honest, I've always liked the idea of owning a lion- I'd call it simba (from the lion king), and watch it grow up to be nice and strong.
question: you're stranded on a desert island with only one of your belongings that you managed to save from the wreckage of the ship. what belonging is it?

Hmmm can’t think of anything. There’s things I’d like to take but can’t narrow it down to one. (What would you take?) I know I’d take a bag of oatmeal from the cupboard.

Any vacation plans this year?

ever since I was a kid, I've had a battery operated world radio- I'd probably take that, make sure it had batteries in it and put some music on while I.... well.... did what ever you do on a island when you are stranded. lol

no vacation plans

what was the last really embarrassing thing to happen to you?

You know, I try to block that stuff out of my mind the best that I can. And the stuff I do when manic, I'm able to tell myself that it was sickness and blow it off...for the most part. I have a talent for doing that. But I guess some recent thing is related to anxiety. I tend to sweat a lot when I'm very anxious. I also turn red. People do notice and it's a bit awkward to explain, and that exacerbates it. Sometimes the sweat shows through my clothes and runs down my face. My last case of this was at a restaurant with my husband's boss, friend, and their SOs. I whispered to my hubby to get my coat (it was in the cloak room) so I could cover myself better.

As for something one might be extremely embarrassed about from a mania, I was manic with psychosis towards the end of our trip to Portugal last May. I made a spectacle out of myself, especially in the airports home. [I won't go into all of it.] I mentioned elsewhere that airports are very stressful for me. At one point I refused to stand in a very long line in customs (but hubby did). I stood near the front loudly ranting about the idiosy of the Homeland security operation and airport engineers, and at one point yelled that when people got to the front of the line they'd have to give a stool sample. Dozens of people were staring at me. At the time, I thought I was completely justified in my rants. Now I just feel sad at how ill I was and am grateful that I wasn't arrested. Just prior to that, in London, my husband didn't think they would let me on the plane. Luckily I got on. My poor husband started bawling on that flight because he was so sad I was sick during our 20th anniversary vacation. It was very stressful for him to have to deal with my illness then and he was scared of my psychotic behavior. I'm not so much embarrassed as I am sad that I became ill and hurt him. I know it wasn't really my fault, though. I had taken my medications. The vacation and airports were too much!

What stresses you out more than anything else?

Anything that has to do with my SSDI case.

What's your first name?

My first name is Catherine but I go by my middle name.

Do you have a pdoc and a tdoc?

Yes, I just got a T about a month ago. I don't like her but that doesn't mean she can't help me. It was encouraged by my pnurse. I'm hoping she can help but I doubt it. (I'm very negative right now though). Time will tell.

What is your favorite ice cream?

Cookie dough

Do you drink alcohol?

Yes, and I know I really shouldn't. I have a history of alcohol abuse. Though I no longer get drunk, I still drink. Really, with my medications, my consumption should be zero or just a rare small drink. Instead, I mostly have one to two drinks per night, most nights.

Though my European husband recognized that my past heavy drinking of 8 to 12 drinks per night was abuse, he doesn't show much concern when I drink two. My psychiatrist would NOT be happy with my current consumption. Nowadays on my current cocktail, I can black out with as few as five. Consumption can slowly grow over time. I believe my psychiatrist still has the alcohol abuse code in my electronic records. Maybe even alcohol dependence. I haven't seen them in years. Truth is, if I quit medications, I'd be drinking heavily again, at least eventually.

What is your baddest habit?

overthinking (I do it constantly).

how did you find the forum (through search, through a friend's suggestion, etc)

You know, I don't rightly remember. I want to say through a web search, but I'm not sure.

What's the weather like where you are?

Snowy.

How many servings of vegetables to you usually eat in a day?

Not enough.

What's your favorite junk food?

mcdonalds fries covered in salt. they are just to die for.
you've won tickets to a concert of your choice. who do you go and see?

Since I can’t narrow it down to one band I’ll go with an 80’s cover band.

What’s the last concert you went to?

Slayer

What's your favorite type of ethnic food.