Bipolar Questions Version 4

1.5 - 2 litres a day.

Scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

when a stranger calls and panic button were equally as scary

but I guess when a stranger calls as that made me freeze in my chair

what do you like best about where you live

I like the mountains and the lake.

Do you take vitamins?

I take a supplement (one pill) that has iron and mostly B vitamins. I take that because I've had a history of iron deficiency anemia. I used to take a prescription iron supplement when I had a copper IUD, but now just the OTC when I menstruate.

At one point I took many OTC supplements to help stop Lithium hair loss, but they did little, so I stopped them. Miraculously, the hair loss stopped after I stopped the supplements. Coincidence? I also used to take fish oil to lower my triglycerides and maybe help with bipolar, but it seemed worthless for both, so I stopped it.

How often do you forget a dose of your medications? And is it usually a morning, afternoon, or evening dose?

1-3 times per week. Always the afternoon dose.

What is the worst side effect of a medicine you have experienced?

Akathisia or dystonia.

Do you see a therapist? If so, how often?

Yeah, once every 2 weeks. Lately haven't had much to talk about.

What is the longest manic episode you've had and what happened during it?

I'm not quite sure of the length of my longest mania. I used to have zero insight into my manias. I can definitely say I was very often hypomanic for several months at a time (6 months or maybe more?). As for full blown manias, I'd say weeks (4 ?). After my diagnosis and hospitalizations, full manias were shorter lasting because of intensive treatment and my husband's improved knowledge of my illness. My psychiatrist will also try to cut growing hypomanias short, though he has let me remain hypomanic for short periods.

How long does it usually take for you to fall asleep after you prepare to (turn things off and shut your eyes)?

Answer would be two hours on average.

I fight sleep constantly. Drink coffee to extend the day's night.
I'm alive now. What is I don't wake up tomorrow?.

Even if I would prefer to die in my sleep as a second choice,
(having sex preferred) I'm fighting it right now.

Then I take sleeping pills. There most be something wrong with me. Hehe.

What's your biggest fear.

I usually wait about an hour, and if it doesn't happen I'm just up for the night.

are you any good at solving puzzles? (aqa word searches or crosswords.)

One of my biggest fears is that of having dementia some day.

Do you withhold info from your therapist/pdoc?

Before I started taking meds, it could take hours and sleep may not have even come at all. Since I started with Ativan (only at night, before sleep) it usually takes me 15-20 min.

I see there are two questions unanswered.

Only so-so. I'm pretty good at trivia, though.

I'm extremely open about most things, but occasionally I withhold. I guess if I don't quite feel like talking about something at a certain time, I don't bring it up, even if it's on my mind and bothering me. What will also happen is that if I don't quite feel comfortable with a certain therapist, I have a glass wall between myself and that person. Sometimes it takes a while for my glass wall to be cracked or broken, sometimes it's never broken. This "glass wall" fell down extremely fast with my last therapist. She was very significant to me. I'm still not completely comfortable with my new therapist. Yea, she knows a lot about my history, but I don't think she really has a good inkling about the me part of me.

Have you ever had a "love at first sight" experience? Or an experience where you knew immediately that you'd very much like a person?

Not in real life. My therapist and I clicked in the first session which is really odd for me but that's not a real relationship.

What is the most embarrassing side effect of your meds (barring weight)?

Lithium tremor. I can't handwrite, use chopsticks, handle flatware or drink things from glasses. If I immobilize my hands, my legs, jaws or shoulders start shaking. My adopted sister Freaky Valerie has to hand-feed me when we go out for dinner, which would be hot if it wasn't so sad.

What's the best stunt you've ever pulled while manic?

If you could pick two things that you currently have trouble doing that you could more easily do, what would they be?

I have trouble going places on my own without a kid or my husband with me without feeling panic/anxiety and just a sheer lack of motivation to.

I want to be able to go out and about like I used to. I used to be fiercely independent, would take the train and subway around NYC. Drove across country in my VW and visted the grand canyon on my own (in hindsight I may have been hypomanic during that though I was high on life) but I was still very independent.
Then I lost it somewhere after my second kid my anxiety started even though I was on Lamotragine. and then the fatigue, then after a couple of moves I stopped taking the meds all together instead of bringing my side effects to the doctor and adjusting the meds.

Now I can hardly ever make it to food shopping on my own even before this depressive episode hit. I had a hard time being my independant self.

***If you could learn one new skill with ease - a new language or an instrument etc- what would it be?

I wish I could learn Spanish.

Has bipolar taken away the ability to do something in your life that you used to be able to do with ease?

yep.... remember things!. I used to have a really good memory

is their anything that you know about yourself or your life that you wish you didn't know/ hurts to know?

The realization that no one really cares hurts from time to time... everyone has their family and friends and I'm getting to that point that I tried... it's not for me I guess. I know, people will say that's untrue and t said our brains make things facts when they're aren't... but the evidence is all there...

Do you have multiple diagnoses or is only bipolar your dx? If multiple how do you differentiate from each?

I have PTSD, generalized anxiety and OCD as well as BP. I differentiate by comparing symptoms to what is going on in my life. If trauma stuff is going on then it is PTSD but if the same symptoms are there without trauma triggering them it is one of the others.

Do you/have you blog(ged) about bipolar?

Yes. My blog link is in my signature at the top.

Do you have Netfix and cable or just one or the other?

I'm have direct tv now , and Netflix.. I often switch from hulu Netflix...

Do you have any pets?

I take care of my daughter’s Beagle and cat while she is away at college. They are starting to feel like mine.

How old were you when you were properly diagnosed?

26

what is your nightly bedtime routine?

I take my evening medications at 7 or 7:30 pm with dinner. Hubby and I then watch TV and/or chat with a small sweet spot and perhaps single espresso. I tend to fall asleep between 10:30 and 11:30 pm. Occasionally a little earlier. Occasionally something keeps me from sleeping until after 1 am, but only occasionally. I can fall asleep very quickly most of the time, but must have quiet and full darkness.

During which season do you sleep better? Do you prefer it cold at night or warm?