[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by Faltering

This morning was a fight with the voices. The pdoc's office called and said I can't take lithium yet because my creatinine was high (barely). I'm wondering if it's because I did heavy exercise before the test. I have to get blood work done again. If I can't take lithium then I don't know what I'll do. What I'm taking now is clearly not effective anymore. Work continues to get more stressful and I can't cope. I shut myself in my office and struggle behind closed doors. My boyfriend just got upset and left without me because I never want to do anything. I don't have any energy or desire to. So now I'm just sitting here crying. I need help but I don't see the psychologist until the end of the month.

I’ve had kidney disease for 40 years and taken Lithium for 4 years. I’ve been told that the best way to keep creatinine level down is to drink more fluids. I drink 2 - 3 Litres of fluid/day and my kidneys are coping.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Well I fell asleep about 11:45 and woke at 12:15 and couldn't get back to sleep. I remembered that I had not done my kitty litter today and couldn't sleep knowing that but it also woke me.

For some odd reason listening to Dr Phil sometimes makes me sleepy so that's what I'm doing now.

I'm just so tired of messed up sleep. I'm scared I'm going to wind up on more clozapine and I'm afraid that the sedation would increase a lot because of how I felt when we did a 4 day pulse of an increased dose when I got hypo with hallucinations in the summer.

But it's not all bad. It's cold enough to have 2 cats snugging/trying to steal my body heat. And I get to see 2 AM twice instead of 3 AM unless something surprising happens and I fall asleep.

[Victoria'smom]

BeyondtheRainbow- sweet dreams.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Thanks MM. You too. I hope you get restful sleep that helps you face tomorrow.

[Lefty Seven]

I'll miss an election day party. The hostess is touched and if the midterms don't go her way, she and every sharp thing in her apartment might become a problem.

I married my wife so I couldn’t be compelled to testify against her.

just starting to recover.

I've been in a lot of chronic pain today.. made things difficult to do

but feel a little better this afteernoon- not 100 percent but I do have more energy

[liveforsummer]

I don’t even know what to write without it being negative.
Sooo what are the positives today.....I’m alive, I have family that love me, I’ve a roof over my head, it’s sunny out.
Think I’ll go jump in the shower. Try to wash some of the sadness away.

Hugs to all struggling

[Scooter9]

We're almost finished emptying out the house of our recently disabled relative. One or two more trips. The house is sold and closing is this week.

I lost 4 pounds this past month. I mysteriously gained 6 pounds two months ago and now lost 4.

They're small numbers but I lost over 40 pounds last year due to a bad reaction to Lamictal and haven't gained it back.

My BMI is fine but all my clothes are too big for me and my pdoc says I should gain about 20 pounds.

I closed out October with just 7 really bad depressed days.... that's way down from the months before so it looks like the modafinil is starting to work. Now it's a matter of actually getting to baseline.

Originally Posted by Lefty Seven

I'll miss an election day party. The hostess is touched and if the midterms don't go her way, she and every sharp thing in her apartment might become a problem.

I married my wife so I couldn’t be compelled to testify against her.

Lefty!!!!! Always love when you make an appearance!

[TheSeaCat]

Gah I feel like I’m hungover from this time change I stayed up late working on a research paper so that it was at least mostly done before I start a full work week. I’m excited about tommrow, but my body is wishing for more sleep. Stupid wonderful Seroquel! I woke up with I think is probably an ear infection and I have a lower wisdom tooth bugging me. I don’t want to see the dentist last time I saw him he charged me a lot for a wisdom tooth even with dental insurance. I probably should have let him get them all when he had the chance.

Time change hurt for some reason I usually do well with fall and it is spring that kills me.

Hugs to everyone

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Lefty!!!!! Always love when you make an appearance!

Ditto for me!

[scatterbrained04]

I'm a bit tired today as always. Mood is ok. Feel better now that I've done a bit of picking up, vacuuming, mopping, dishes. Still have to tackle the grocery store and a load or two of laundry. Feeling a bit lonely. I think these days I just long to be around someone I can be myself around without judgement, you know?

[Moose72]

I think im going senile. Someone took our package out of the mail box! No way to figure out who. So then today at my mom's house i saw someone going door to door. So he gets to my mom's so I asked him if i could ask him a question. So i asked about the mail issue. He politely gave me his thoughts and then started telling me about his pamphlets he was passing out- political stuff of course. BAM! He's not the mailman! Its Sunday! Ugh what an idiot I am!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

I think these days I just long to be around someone I can be myself around without judgement, you know?

I do. I think this is what Im attracted to with my "friend with benefits".

[Blueberrybook]

Sorry, I haven’t kept up lately. H had a job interview Friday, but, of course, we don’t yet know the outcome.

I went running and walking for a long time yesterday morning. It actually felt nice and was not humid for a change, and I didn’t drink much at the fountain in the park both times I went by. I got back home and OMG, I really dehydrated myself. Easier to do when it is not so humid and feels nice.

Felt like crap from that all day yesterday, and it has carried some over into today. Still weighed 5 lb less than yesterday morning this AM. I have been trying to drink more fluid today and didn’t exercise. Probably should have gone to urgent care yesterday, but I made it though I came close to passing out a couple times. Not just dehydrated, low blood sugar. Some days I just burn through everything I eat, so that just sucked.

See the pdoc on Wednesday. Still feeling pretty down, but it may partially be from the dehydration.

[Miss Laura]

I'm not really on here much tbh. Tbh I don't have the energy to read. I'm pretending I'm good but I'm really not feeling 100%.

I'm in the process of away to start a new group tomorrow. It's called a WRAP Group (Wellness Recovery Action Plan). I've done 2 but on my own they thought I would have better luck doing it in a group so a Peer Support Worker and Occupational Therapist are doing it.

I'm doing another group called Peer 2 Peer which will make me a better volunteer. Again ran by Peer Support Worker and Adult Education Worker.

Plus I see my Community Worker and Counsellor weekly both for an hour.

I'm drained but I'm having to be happy for my parents we have a lot going on. Plus I only restarted my meds 3 months ago tomorrow. Which means they are still working in my system. I've been suffering from panic attacks/night terrors at night which is fun been going on since August. It's not every night but most nights of the week. I'm to go to my GP in December if my nights are still bad and I'll get Propanole.

I think everything over the year has just caught up with me.

I'm trying to mend bridges with my friends and I'm refusing to rock the boat with them since my mania cause a small rift between us. Had a meal with them this week and I felt like I had to be on my best behaviour. Grr

[Moose72]

I havent seen my therapist in weeks. You have to contact her directly for an appointment but i dont know how. I am hoping she'll call me.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I havent seen my therapist in weeks. You have to contact her directly for an appointment but i dont know how. I am hoping she'll call me.

Why haven't you seen your therapist in so long?

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Why haven't you seen your therapist in so long?

She hasnt called to set up an appointment and thats the only way i can contact her.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m desperate to quit smoking and desperate to smoke at the same time. I have a vape pen but it’s not cutting it right now. I’m only on day 2 of no cigarettes so I know if I can just make it through a few days it should get easier. I was actually in the parking lot of the convenience store and decided not to go in. So there’s that.

I really don’t want to be going outside when it’s cold out. Plus my new guy doesn’t smoke and is sensitive to the smell of it. I don’t want to be smelling like an ashtray around him. Or anyone for that matter. And of course there’s all the health reasons to quit. So I’m hoping I stay strong. It’s all or nothing for me, I can’t have just one or two. So I can’t buy a pack with the intention of only having a.l couple a day, I WILL smoke the whole pack even if I don’t want to. Stay strong!

I slept most of the day today for some reason. I’m not depressed, I just felt like sleeping. I slept until 11am, then got up and fell back asleep around 12:30 until 3:30. I finally got up to go grocery shopping before it got dark. I can’t believe it’s only 5:40 and pitch black outside. I hate the time change.

I have to take my car into the shop. The exhaust smells like rotten eggs sometimes and I read it could be the catalytic converter. I want to bring it in ASAP because my warranty is about to expire and the catalytic converter might be covered under warranty if it is bad. If not I’m going to have to borrow money from my grandmother again which I hate doing because I just don’t have to money to pay for it. I’m not even sure I’ll have enough money to make it to my next paycheck thanks to a medical bill I had to pay (for once not MI related). I’m going to try my hardest. I have some money in savings but I need it to pay for a hotel for thanksgiving when we go down to Tennessee to see my in laws. So we will see.

Other than that all is well. See T Tuesday. Missed last week because she had to take off so it’ll be nice to see her again.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m desperate to quit smoking and desperate to smoke at the same time. I have a vape pen but it’s not cutting it right now. I’m only on day 2 of no cigarettes so I know if I can just make it through a few days it should get easier. I was actually in the parking lot of the convenience store and decided not to go in. So there’s that.


I really don’t want to be going outside when it’s cold out. Plus my new guy doesn’t smoke and is sensitive to the smell of it. I don’t want to be smelling like an ashtray around him. Or anyone for that matter. And of course there’s all the health reasons to quit. So I’m hoping I stay strong. It’s all or nothing for me, I can’t have just one or two. So I can’t buy a pack with the intention of only having a.l couple a day, I WILL smoke the whole pack even if I don’t want to. Stay strong!


I slept most of the day today for some reason. I’m not depressed, I just felt like sleeping. I slept until 11am, then got up and fell back asleep around 12:30 until 3:30. I finally got up to go grocery shopping before it got dark. I can’t believe it’s only 5:40 and pitch black outside. I hate the time change.


I have to take my car into the shop. The exhaust smells like rotten eggs sometimes and I read it could be the catalytic converter. I want to bring it in ASAP because my warranty is about to expire and the catalytic converter might be covered under warranty if it is bad. If not I’m going to have to borrow money from my grandmother again which I hate doing because I just don’t have to money to pay for it. I’m not even sure I’ll have enough money to make it to my next paycheck thanks to a medical bill I had to pay (for once not MI related). I’m going to try my hardest. I have some money in savings but I need it to pay for a hotel for thanksgiving when we go down to Tennessee to see my in laws. So we will see.


Other than that all is well. See T Tuesday. Missed last week because she had to take off so it’ll be nice to see her again.

I smoked on and off for 25+ years. I finally quit when my husband was diagnosed with emphysema 8 years ago, he’s done ok with his meds until when we were in Florida he went into respiratory crisis and was put on oxygen 24/7

He now only uses it at night but it will continue to get worse over time. He admits it’s his own fault.

Still tough tho. His middle son vapes all the time literally will wake up and hit it and go back to sleep. He coughs just like he did when he smoked cigs.

I’m shocked at all the people who never smoked but are hooked on vaping.

I hope you can beat the habit I know how hard it can be. Trust me I do

Hope your car is still covered ! Gah I hate money problems.

Hope you trip to Tennessee is a nice one. The colors here are great right now in my area.

[Victoria'smom]

My husband got up and made breakfast (eggs and bacon w/ toast). He says that he's not feeling better but is fighting going back to bed. My house is still a disaster. My younger sister came this morning and hung out with me while I was in bed. Yes we have no shame. My older sister is coming in a half hour for a game night at least I'm dressed, I showered last night before bed.

Possible trigger:

The only thing that is keeping me around is the fear of failure and fear of new meds. which I guess is a good thing. I'm not even sure I'm depressed. It just sounds like a "good idea" what I'm suppose to do. How do you know if your mixed? or is these ideas psychosis? I keep trying to remind myself they need me but I feel it won't work anyway. I don't even know how to explain it. These ideas have always scared me that I'd end up in the ER trying to explain my head.

[Lefty Seven]

I just received my remote master's degree in weaponized discourse from the University of Łódź in central Poland. My 218-page thesis, "Fightin' Words: Psychological Warfare in the Wild West," was described by my professors as "unnecessary", "undermedicated", "illegal" and "I want to punch you in the face." I got a D. My diploma arrived as a JPEG enclosure. I've been called "unnecessary" several times before, at least twice on this forum, suggesting the universe is approaching a consensus.

A friend is 65, weighs 65 and lives in Honolulu Chinatown, which gets sketchy after dark. I thought of buying him a Taser to protect himself but I realized with absolute certainty that the instant he removed his new Taser from its packaging he would shoot me in the face with it. It's important to think these things through.

It's 8:15am, I'm working on my philosophy essay and I'm impressed with myself how I've gotten 2 pages without getting up and, I don't know, baking cookies or buying some crap off Amazon. Break time!

Overall doing well. ECT tomorrow.

[Moose72]

Calling the landlord at 9 re the water heater.