when too little is so much

Can’t your daughter go with to a T appt and be in the waiting room with a book? Surely she’s old enough for that isn’t she ?

I'm sorry you're struggling

I don't think it's fair that he brings up things in that way... but maybe he's worried about you being depressed?

I also struggle with not doing much. I'm going to school part time. So 2 classes this semester and 3 next. I always feel guilty when people ask me how many classes I'm taking, when I say I'm only taking a couple/part time they then ask me where I work, they assume if I'm going to school part time then I must have a job.... it's very upsetting. I hope you're able to work it out with your husband and explain how it makes you feel

Do you have any hobbies or anything you'd like to learn, languages, skills, info (any topics you find interesting)?

Maybe you could set up a couple times a day to sit down and devote some time to something like that. For example, I have an extremely hard time getting out of bed because my meds make me exhausted and my motivation tends to be low so what I have done is picked a few things I enjoy to work on. I like art so I'm trying to improve my art skills, which feels good/relaxing. I like learning about different things so I made an account on Khan Academy which has many different subjects you can learn from for free. Really awesome site. I'm studying Italian too on my own. There are all kinds of hobbies out there, knitting, writing, gardening, playing games etc

Since I've started making myself get up and do some stuff I enjoy, it tends to energize me and get me motivated to to do other stuff during the day like errands, cleaning and whatnot.

Possibly. I don’t know who could watch my daughter though. I will leave her home alone for quick trips to the nearby grocery store (it’s small), but I don’t feel she is yet ready to be home alone longer than 15 minutes or so.

Oh, and H has to fix the problem with the HOA seeing a window AC unit that has been there for 10 years without complaint until a recent sweep of the neighborhood by the HOA. He is not happy about having to build a fence now to block all of it from street view; right now, you can only see about half of it.

Though today it’s raining; he can’t work on it. Since H is a teacher, he has Thanksgiving week off along with the students.

I don’t think H puts much faith into any type of medical professional. When he was 17, he had to have a back operation over Christmas vacation, couldn’t keep pain meds down, and his doctor was unreachable on a ski trip. The doctor also neglected to tell H and his parents that H needed to go to physical therapy
starting x days post-op. Then, he’s like, “They mis-diagnosedyou with depression for 10 years and had you on the wrong meds.” Yeah, also true.

Plus, since he has a doctorate in physical chemistry from a Nobel Prize recipient (Rick Smalley), he is super smart. I think he has a hard time trusting a doctor or therapist he doesn’t know and/or that I have not been seeing for a long time. He feels there are a lot of bad doctors out there and just because they have a degree, it doesn’t mean they know everything. So it’s very hard

Maybe I will talk to my youngest sister’s husband. He teaches band for a middle school, but he also is the music minister of his church. If you tell him something you don’t even want my sister to know, he keeps it to himself. He is good with advice or maybe can help explain some of these MIs to H. They are now requiring teachers to get a lot of MI training on training days due to all the school shootings. It actually made H frantic when he came home. He was like, “Do you hallucinate or hear things that are not there or voices telling you to do
stuff? I never knew bipolar could do that, and how can they diagnose anyone with all these illnesses having a lot of the same symptoms?” I was like no, I don’t hallucinate or hear voices in my head telling me to do stuff, which realaxed him a bit. They did do an exercise demonstrating how hard it is to think with racing thoughts, and that apparently did give H some idea, so I need to remind him that is how I almost always think. I only hallucinated after my surgery and think that was from a combo of the meds and the severe pain. But BIL has been a teacher longer than H and is in a different school district, so his MI training
probably differed, and he’s had more students with MI since he’s taught much longer. So maybe it’s worth talking to BIL about?

Hypergraphia again...

Some things I have a schedule for, some things not. Even if something is on the schedule, I can easily get distracted and pulled away from it. Cooking dinner last night, my pasta boiled over because I remembered I needed to put the laundry into the dryer and went to do that right in the middle of cooking. It's hard for me to stay on one task a lot of the time.

Im like that too- multi tasking. But mid thought ill forget what i was going to do or get distracted by too many tangents. My laundry is in the kitchen so it would be easier for me to cook and do laundry together.

My washer and dryer are in the garage, which attaches to a galley kitchen via a door we keep open. H has put in an AC and uses the garage for role playing games when his friends are over. It is like another room to the house, but right off the kitchen and with the washer and dryer, and if I didn’t take care of the laundry then, I would forget it.

So goes my life. I feel like I have to do things the instant I think of them, or I will forget about them (and I will). I know I should just write it down, but the kitchen pad of paper or pen or both always disappears...