[stringbean2018]

Hi everyone. I am new here and hoping to get some help.

I am Bipolar 1, last episode manic. I get depressed and in between mania and severe depression, the pdoc says I am ok.
But I never feel happy... I just mostly feel blah. I can't tell if it is mild depression and we just accept it because I am not suicidal or if that is just the best it is going to be...

Do you feel happy in between episodes?

Thanks.

Welcome to the forum I hope you find some help and support here.
I feel happy at times between episodes, but it's fleeting. It's more of a temporary feeling. I would say I feel content when symptoms aren't rearing their head though, that's more of a lasting feeling.

Yes, I feel happy between episodes, even not being fully functional. Do I feel euphoric happiness when stable? Very very rarely. Living life for that is not a reasonable expectation. Perfectly mentally healthy people feel blah a lot, too, and often "just go through the motions". However, I'm guessing your "blah" is a little more than that right now. Maybe it's hypothymia. I've had that. Being just a touch under or over the hard target of "stereotypical normal stable" is common.

I have found that therapy and certain actions and sensory stimulations can help shift the mood a bit. When hypothymic, I know I have to push myself into pleasure a bit. I do dislike the saying "Fake it until you make it", but think pushing oneself to do normally pleasant things CAN something clear the clouds a bit. Discovery, learning, mindfulness of the beauty of nature or other things can push me into another realm to a degree. I try to pick healthful things for these pursuits.

Some little things that give me pleasure are:

* Writing

* Going to a local pizzeria where the staff are always happy I came and one person even gives me hugs.

* Finding new recipes

* Teasing my parrot

* Showing love to hubby

* Walking across the bridge a looking at the river

* Flower arranging

More

Simple pleasures added up are crucial in life. Big ones are great, but should not be waited for exclusively.

[MickeyCheeky]

((((stringbean2018)))) I'm sorry you're struggling. Yes, I do believe it's possible to be happy between episodes

[pirilin]

Welcome to the forum.
Happiness is a choice. Hard to master.
Like sadness is a choice. Easy to fall for.
Now, pain is not a choice. Even then, is up to you how to handle it.

There are millions in worse shape than you are, and are happy.

Good luck, Cheers.

[Christopher1990]

My baseline has always been on the depressive side. I've come to accept it. There's a lot of life factors for me that seem to keep me low. I'm exhausted 24/7 I just want to be my happy self again. My manic/psychotic episodes took so much out of me, I feel my brain is fried at this point. The zyprexa seems like it is just way too strong and I feel like I would be happier off it. My p.a. didn't want to change my meds and I see the psychiatrist in 3 weeks.
Maybe they can tinker a bit I don't know.

It sucks because as long as we are not manic or suicidal people think we are doing good. That is not always the case.

And I agree, that fake it till you make it is sometimes our best option.

[Wild Coyote]

Hi stringbean2018,

Welcome to PC!

I find moments of happiness here and there. I do put some effort into creating happiness or at least contentment.

I hope you will find the information and the support you may be seeking.
Please do jump in and make yourself at home.
I hope to see you around the forums.


WC

[Blueberrybook]

Sometimes. Lately, not a lot. But my life is pretty much spiraling out of control.

Things could always be worse, I know this.

But things could also be a lot, lot better.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello and welcome to PC

I have found that since being on my current medication combo I am happy all the time, like it has become a new baseline for me. It's not euphoric happiness just general happy to be alive happy.

I used to have terrible depressive states like couldn't get out of bed for days, like all the happy had been sucked out of me; granted I spent three months in the depressed state so maybe this is what happens when I am stable.

I'm sorry that you are suffering

[Guiness187055]

I wouldn't say that I am happy per say. I am content though and that's good enough for me. Much better than the alternative.

[stringbean2018]

Thanks for the responses everyone!
Maybe I don't know what happiness feels like outside of hypomania, or maybe as I have gotten older, I forget. lol

The problem is my hypomania always turns bad,even though it is great to begin with. And my depressive "episodes" are really bad too, so it is hard to know what my normal happiness is supposed to be. It almost feels like black and white with blah in between.

Thanks everyone.

[~Christina]

Since people with Bipolar can have such huge fantastical “ happiness “ it’s often hard to notice the happy between episodes, least that’s my experience.

[Gabyunbound]

I agree with Guiness: I can be content when not in an episode. Happy? Not really, or if so, it's pretty fleeting. I don't know if it's the meds. I feel like my baseline used to be more up. But I do think it's theoretically possible to be happy between episodes, I really do. I suppose it depends on one's baseline, on your personality to begin with: are you optimistic by character, pessimistic? Do you have high (or decent) self esteem, or low self esteem?, etc.

[venusss]

I am happy when there is a reason. Otherwise, when stable, I am content and at peace most of the time.

Like... i am happy when I cuddle a kitty, do something successful, hear good news, experience something extraordinary... but those are moment, but most of the times it's not rainbowy happiness.

I feel in our society many people are chasing elusive happiness that they actually cannot appreciate the little things.

My baseline is kinda pesimistic though. (Not on any meds, managing fully on my own with occasional hand picked herbal connoctions). And the general setting of my country is kinda grumpy. Seriously, Americans that come to live here discuss on their expat forums why don't we smile more and we explain time and time again that we do smile when there is something to smile about and that sitting on bus or subway is no reason to be smiling. Smiling with no reason is actually considered symptom of low IQ (smiling like an idiot), or something being of mentally. We have so many phrases that show derrision of pointless smiling (AMerican smile, smiling like a Moon over a manure...). So maybe coming from this culture, I don't expect to go out and have unicorns pooping happiness on me... so I am actually pleasantly surprised when things go well and experience brief happiness over that.

¨

[FriendlyJoe]

Yes it's possible, the only happiness I really get is when I'm with my bipolar friend. I've been married 3 times and I literally hate them and get divorced shortly after since they can't relate to who I am. I don't like labels but saying bipolar does save me a lot of time from writing a few pages to describe myself.

My bipolar friend told me she's going to look for a BF since her last few didn't work out. That put me into this depressed state I'm currently in. I love her and totally upset she doesn't feel the same even though we relate on everything we do. It's been nice to spend every day with her. I've never been with someone like me since it's not easy to meet someone that's bipolar. Society has labeled bipolar as a mental disease, disorder, crazy, pretty much just straight out negative. I live my life as a closet bipolar person and I've learned to control myself in public. I do get irritated at times and unleash my anger to people that's ignorant and mean to others. I don't like bullies or people that enjoys making people feel down.

First step, dont let society make you feel like you're broken that needs to be fixed. I have my moments but I am who I am and only ashamed since I don't want people to judge me. I'm the Chief Innovation officer for a large company that also oversees the progress of the employees and constantly improving work procedures and internal communications between departments in the office and on the field.

Work is my only friend and I feel like a happy person there even if it's just an act. I'll probably just go back to working out 3 hrs a day. TV sucks, but I listen to music 24/7 and read a lot. I got myself a puppy and she's such a friendly dog. Looking forward to taking her on walks and jogs.

Hang in there everybody. Stay positive and talk to others like yourself. Hopefully you'll have better luck than me. I've been looking for months with no luck.