[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Seriously! Sheesh, I can never get over the disability/Medicare thing. Just ridiculous. I mean, they know how little you're getting!


The hours issue gets complicated, what with variation and hovering near the line. Consequently, I *could* get bumped back and forth, which would be a pita. That's a big reason I'm looking for a different job -- to get more control over my hours.


Oh well.

I hope something can get settled for you like right plucking now, the unknown is so scary. You are always in my thoughts

the severe amounts of pain I was in today dulled any other emotions I may have had

I was in a lot, hell of a lot of pain

still now their is not much let up- despite sitting quietly watching muppet's christmas carol (well now posting here)

hope tomorrow will be better.

[Sunflower123]

My daughter texted yesterday that she is having fun and that she loves me. Hopefully, she’ll arrive home safely tomorrow night. The driver was driving between 90-98 mph on the way down according to the tracker

I don’t know what has gotten in to me today. I don’t want to do anything at all but I don’t feel depressed. Nothing interests me: tv, games, books, etc. and I don’t even want to move to get something to eat. Hmmm...go figure. Just an off day I guess.

Sending out hugs to all.

It was a nice day, despite clouds and now some rain. It reached over 60 F. Can you believe that!? It already snowed once about a month plus ago. So bad there were accidents everywhere. Who knows. It could snow tomorrow.

Hubby was home, but kept busy with home projects. Then my brother unexpectedly called and asked if he could join us for lunch. He's an electrician and when he is working in my area he sometimes stops by. I cherish those visits. Really. I fed us all leftovers, but they were yummy leftovers. Bro always wants coffee, so he got some Christmas cookies with it and some to take home.

Yea, I made another type of Christmas cookie today. Now seven varieties. Tomorrow I'll make number eight. I had leftover melted bittersweet chocolate so I finished it up by dipping banana halves on sticks in it and poured some over whole almonds in mini molds.

When I finally stop making cookies, I'll arrange some of each variety on a couple trays and take a photo. I'll post it here with the names and descriptions of each. Then, I'll finally shut up about this.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

My daughter texted yesterday that she is having fun and that she loves me. Hopefully, she’ll arrive home safely tomorrow night. The driver was driving between 90-98 mph on the way down according to the tracker


I don’t know what has gotten in to me today. I don’t want to do anything at all but I don’t feel depressed. Nothing interests me: tv, games, books, etc. and I don’t even want to move to get something to eat. Hmmm...go figure. Just an off day I guess.


Sending out hugs to all.

Glad she’s having a good time !!!

It’s okay to have a off day , mine was yesterday I literally did nothing but bake a frozen pizza and shower/self care.

[Unrigged64072835]

I was actually feeling decent this morning. Got our home loan funds disbursed. Paid off the loan for the roof, no problem. Done.

Husband checks payment for the original home improvement loan—and the company has double charged us on interest. This has been one of their tactics to screw over clients. They will be mostly paid off tomorrow. I don’t like even giving them a little wiggle room.

It will now be two years before we have everything paid off, meaning three years before we can move.

I’ll bounce back from this. I’m just tired from bouncing.

Love and hugs to everyone.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

We had a family of squirrels under our house chewing away it was freaking me out. My H took care of them !

Your H works so many hours and then at home too. It’s always something

How did your second night of all Lamictal at bedtime go ?

How’s you pain ? Did you get more sleep ?

Hi!

I seem to tolerate Lamictal better when I take it all at night. Not so sedated and dizzy in the AM.
I'd slept about 5 hours total. As per usual, awake after the first 2 hours and get back to sleep 3-4 hours later.

Pain is a little better day, thankfully!

Thanks for asking!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

It was a nice day, despite clouds and now some rain. It reached over 60 F. Can you believe that!? It already snowed once about a month plus ago. So bad there were accidents everywhere. Who knows. It could snow tomorrow.


Hubby was home, but kept busy with home projects. Then my brother unexpectedly called and asked if he could join us for lunch. He's an electrician and when he is working in my area he sometimes stops by. I cherish those visits. Really. I fed us all leftovers, but they were yummy leftovers. Bro always wants coffee, so he got some Christmas cookies with it and some to take home.


Yea, I made another type of Christmas cookie today. Now seven varieties. Tomorrow I'll make number eight. I had leftover melted bittersweet chocolate so I finished it up by dipping banana halves on sticks in it and poured some over whole almonds in mini molds.


When I finally stop making cookies, I'll arrange some of each variety on a couple trays and take a photo. I'll post it here with the names and descriptions of each. Then, I'll finally shut up about this.

Oh no need to stop talking about your cookies ! I know I enjoy hearing about them !!

Sounds like the visit with your brother was lovely and hopefully can happen more often in the future.

Was 60 here yesterday and now nothing but rain and temp going down to freezing tonight, sucks we will likely have to pack in it I’m hoping for a small break in the rain tonight so we can do it quickly.

Weather sure is acting wacky for sure.

Can I have some cookies for the road ?? Lol

[-Astral-]

very low , voices are making things hard ...this time of year is hard i lost my dad 8 years ago miss him so much

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

I was actually feeling decent this morning. Got our home loan funds disbursed. Paid off the loan for the roof, no problem. Done.


Husband checks payment for the original home improvement loan—and the company has double charged us on interest. This has been one of their tactics to screw over clients. They will be mostly paid off tomorrow. I don’t like even giving them a little wiggle room.


It will now be two years before we have everything paid off, meaning three years before we can move.


I’ll bounce back from this. I’m just tired from bouncing.


Love and hugs to everyone.

Yes banks or lenders of any kind try to slip in nonsense to cost more. Good of you to catch it.

Glad your home is finished. That’s always a good feeling.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by -Astral-

very low , voices are making things hard ...this time of year is hard i lost my dad 8 years ago miss him so much

I also lost my father this time of the year , hurts so much. I try very hard to remember all the good stuff. It’s awful to lose a loved one

Do you have a prn Med to use if the voices get overwhelming?

Maybe call your Pdoc now since the holidays will have everyone closed?

Stay safe

[-Astral-]

am on meds am on haloperidol but its new and normally the voices never go away no matter how much meds i have

Christina, if I could send a sampling through my phone to you I would.

Astral, I'm sorry you're so unwell. I also completely understand what it's like to lose a parent. It takes a while for the pain to ease.

[Pookyl]

Struggling with thinking and tasks today.
Need to put up the tree but can’t figure out where to put it
Took 3hrs to find my lime, ginger, macadamia ham recipe
Need to clear the dining room table but can’t remember where the stuff on the table normally lives.
We have an expression here for disorganised people that fits me perfectly: “couldn’t organise a p_ _ _ up in a brewery”

[Pookyl]

Christina, safe travels and enjoy catching up with your daughter.

Merry Christmas and good mental health to all.

[Guiness187055]

Still depressed just laid on the couch all day staring at the wall. Was able to get one load of laundry done only three loads left. I sure hope this depression and insomnia lift soon. One is feeding off of the other.

[Nammu]

I need to do laundry too.....procrastinating is my middle name.

[yellow_fleurs]

Heading home to see my family and SO tomorrow after work. Job is still great--I am so lucky to have it. Also, really looking forward to seeing my family and especially the kids of the family!

So that's all great news. Not so great news is I am still getting into some dark thought spaces. I really need to figure out if I have OCD if so the best treatment. I do think my therapist is great and the mindfulness techniques are useful, but the nature of my thoughts convinces me of such strange things--that I would or have accidentally harm(ed) someone, that I cannot trust myself or others, and other odd things. It's hard to explain, but it may make therapy hard because it has me panicking over the "what ifs". Kind of like how can I do any sort of work on actual stuff when everything triggers these strange spirals? Oh well, at least I can look back and say I am in a much better spot than I was this time last year!

Hope everyone is having a great, or at least not too terrible, night. Sending hugs/thoughts to those who want them.

[Moose72]

Watching Hallmark channel. Christmas movies. Bit of fluff is doing me good today. I hope i can sleep. Im doing a 24 hour urine catch starting the next time i have to pee. Lol. I still cant believe i have hyper thyroid. So odd when its been hypo for years. Im not sure which one is worse: but im thinking hyper is worse. I wouldnt want my worst enemy to go through my last week! At least with hypo you just want to sleep like a little kid on a long trip. Yes I lost about 7 pounds (and maybe more) but while its nice to lose weight. I think depacote ruined my thryroid- or was that lithium.? Neither of which im on anymore. Im tired now. Hope i can sleep tonight.

[Wild Coyote]

Still not sleeping much. I will get my sleep study results in late January.

I was very busy today. Cleaned out a lot of "stuff!" Sent H to the dump twice with the car full of it! Set aside some things for Goodwill. There's also a "recycle hut" at the dump where we can leave things others may enjoy.

I am on a cleaning/decluttering spree when I should be baking and getting ready for Christmas! I find getting rid of stuff quite rewarding!

I hope everyone sleeps well tonight!

Love to All!

WC

[TheSeaCat]

Hi guys! I had a meeting with boss and got some news come the beginning of the year I will be a salary instead of hourly employee. The company really doesn't like paying my overtime so now I am salary which will make budgeting a breeze since I will know exactly what I am getting monthly. Sad thing is I now make way to much a year to stay on Medicaid; I knew it was stupid to even try; so now I have to get on my employers insurance which is really good it's at least a popular insurance company and cheaper then what I was paying before. It's also very mental health friendly.

I hope I can still have Medicaid as my secondary insurance which is how I did it the last time; I just hate having copay's and medicine fees. I am going to have to call my insurance tomorrow and see if that is a possibility of duel insurances if not I'm certainly going to have to budget better for doctor bills. I'm glad my fainting spell and drop of blood pressure happened when it did; because I can only imagine the cost of that CT scan and EP study.

Work was alright I didn't have all that many referrals but sadly most of the specialists are booked out to mid-January early February. So I have angry patients mad about that; not to mention I got to do half of the office Performance reviews and my boss is seriously twisted because I had both M and R in my stack to do. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought that was going to be. Several of the nurses and receptionist said I did a pretty good job talking about there performance and giving them advice on what could make things easier. So I guess I did good for my first time; my boss said I'm well liked around the office. I'm doing better I can take complements without crying.

I am just so glad to be home and back to work; even though I know my primary doc probably wishes I would have taken the rest of the week off with the head injury; but I feel fine.

Also my pharmacy changed their Seroquel generic and I can't sleep on the new one. I always have a emergency pill tucked in my purse and It's one of my old Seroquel's so I'm probably going to take that tonight instead of these new ones and hopefully sleep like the dead.

Hugs to everyone

[beauflow]

I am here...
Idk, guess I wasn't really meant for deep connections.. or idk do I have that?
I've questioned for many years on this.
It makes sense to me of why not, wasnt truly built for them, it sucks but whatever.
. I tried..

Deep relationships..
I dont think I do, but am told I do.
I dont feel I do, either .. but yet do at moments.
Then i wonder, am I just blind or expecting too much? Or is this a lost in connection with myself..
**maybe I give too little... idk? Not enough, dont feel enough... babble babble babble **

My cat only wants me for food Ok maybe pettings too.

I am ok, ... just probably should get busy with something

[Blue_Bird]

Took a 3 hour nap even though I slept fine last night

I'm tired still, but excited for Christmas

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I need to do laundry too.....procrastinating is my middle name.

Me too. I even procrastinate doing things I want to and enjoy doing which makes no sense..lol