[clydeblack]

Hey guys,

My depression is really bad right now. I'm afraid of what I might do to myself.

I have to go to class now and I'm going to the pharmacy next to school to buy some razors. I don't want to hurt myself but I can't see any other way. Every day I have to wake up and do daily things which feel impossible now. These mood swings are getting the best of me. I can't deal with it. I need help even though I already have a therapist, psychiatrist, family and friends. My mind keeps telling me that I need help. What other help could I possibly get?

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're struggling, clydeblack Please, try not to hurt yourself. Sometimes, even if we have a lot of help, it may still not be enough. But this pain won't last forever... please, don't give up. If you feel suicidal, call an hotline or go to the hospital. When will you see your therapist? I'm so sorry

[clydeblack]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry you're struggling, clydeblack Please, try not to hurt yourself. Sometimes, even if we have a lot of help, it may still not be enough. But this pain won't last forever... please, don't give up. If you feel suicidal, call an hotline or go to the hospital. When will you see your therapist? I'm so sorry

Thank you MickeyCheeky, I see my therapist tomorrow. We meet twice a week.

Hi clydeblack. Please don't hurt yourself! Doing so is going way too far. Believe me when I say that hurting yourself causes more problems in the end than seeking intensive help without that kind of "cry for help". And as for any more permanent hurting of oneself. Don't even go there. When we're in misery, the illness of depression (or whatever leads to those thoughts) can convince us that such severe measures relieve pain. But they can result in the ultimately worst thing.

If you need a break from the pressures of life, perhaps you can take a bit of a short-term leave. Maybe talk to your therapist and/or psychiatrist about whether that is a good option. Certainly let them know about the razor. They have to know where your mind really truly is. Breaks can seem like non options, but they aren't. Everything picks up again after one is feeling better.

[Victoria'smom]

please don't buy razors if you already have bought them throw them out and take out the trash. You don't need that temptation. Do you have PRN's? Count down the hours until you see T.

[Blueberrybook]

Don't hurt yourself! If you bought the razors, throw them away. Not sure of your living situation, but throw them away in a manner where it is not easy to get at them, the nearest public trashcan at a store, a dumpster, bagged up with the trash you put out for pickup with the gross stuff like banana peels, old food, etc. Don't put them in a nearby trashcan where you can easily retrieve them. Make it too much work to get to them.

I hope seeing your T will help.

[Moose72]

It may be time to go to the psych ER.

[~Christina]

Please get the razors out of your life.

I used mine when I felt hopeless , er trip and many sutures later and a IP stay was what helped me.

Reach out for help sooner rather than later.

You matter ! Stay safe.

[TheSeaCat]

Please get rid of those razor's and don't be afraid to reach out for help and most of all stay safe. If you feel unwell don't be afraid of going IP.

[clydeblack]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

please don't buy razors if you already have bought them throw them out and take out the trash. You don't need that temptation. Do you have PRN's? Count down the hours until you see T.

I have klonopin for anxiety. Fortunately I see her tomorrow.

[clydeblack]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry you're struggling, clydeblack Please, try not to hurt yourself. Sometimes, even if we have a lot of help, it may still not be enough. But this pain won't last forever... please, don't give up. If you feel suicidal, call an hotline or go to the hospital. When will you see your therapist? I'm so sorry

Thanks for caring, I'm seeing her tomorrow.

[yellow_fleurs]

Please get rid of the razors and anything else you can harm yourself with. I hope you will tell your therapist what is going on. You sound like you need some help to get through this. I am sorry you are struggling so much.

[xRavenx]

Please throw razers and any means of hurting yourself away (as everyone has said) and please seek help ASAP. Do you think you need to go IP? It's always best to err on the side of caution or trust your gut as far as what you feel you need during this time. If you have someone to talk to and look out for you and your safety during this time, then that would be a way of protecting yourself and having support. Of course, you always have here though, and I hope it helps you to post, even if it's just a little bit.

Your well being comes first. I'm so sorry to hear you're suffering.

[liveforsummer]

Clydeback I hope you are safe. Did you see your T yet? How are you today?

[clydeblack]

Thanks everyone for taking the time to answer. I'm seeing my therapist in a few hours.

Originally Posted by clydeblack

Thanks everyone for taking the time to answer. I'm seeing my therapist in a few hours.

I'm happy to read this. I hope your appointment will be very helpful. Please let your therapist know your full situation.

[clydeblack]

Update: Completely spaced out and missed my T appointment for today. Did well enough to go to class yesterday, so that's good. Mood declining again, but I'll have to see her next week. Kind of disappointed with myself but guess those things happen.

[piano97]

How are things going Clyde? Glad you made it to class. On other things, don't beat yourself up too much...not worth it and you are doing the best you can under the circumstances. Stay in touch with people, minimize isolation if possible, and tend to self-care (hygiene, eating, some exercise) as best you can. I know those things aren't easy, give yourself credit for any of them you do though. Hang in there and give another update when you can.

[clydeblack]

Originally Posted by piano97

How are things going Clyde? Glad you made it to class. On other things, don't beat yourself up too much...not worth it and you are doing the best you can under the circumstances. Stay in touch with people, minimize isolation if possible, and tend to self-care (hygiene, eating, some exercise) as best you can. I know those things aren't easy, give yourself credit for any of them you do though. Hang in there and give another update when you can.

Thank you so much. I saw some friends yesterday. Trying to finish one of my finals today. For the rest I might have to take incompletes. I have been forcing myself to shower and that's working. Will maybe start doing a few minutes of exercise, especially since I haven't been too happy with my body lately. Really appreciate everyone's support.

[Travelinglady]

A shower! Great! I trust you'll be better soon.