[tecomsin]

I made a turkey dinner with homemade stuffing, gravy and homemade cranberry/apple sauce and mashed potatoes. My son is not a big vegetable fan so I skipped that. The turkey came out really good. He was really happy with the meal. Now it is all cleaned up and I can relax. I cooked everything from scratch. We had a nice chat over dinner. I'm proud of myself and my son got me a book so now I have a goal, which is to read it. It's been ages, maybe years, since I read a book. I know this might not seem like a lot but my energy level never recovered from chemo, so for me it's a big accomplishment.

[Lefty Seven]

Three cheers for family warfare! They’re all dead or live far away, but it was fun while it lasted. Every year I'm more comfortable without them. My antichrist brother, who never acknowledged my disease, has a young daughter with loud bipolar precursors. What went around will come around. I hope I'm still alive. I know I'm a terrible person.

I almost forgot to post

.

[winter loneliness]

Hello. I am not on here very often. Just wanted to say hello. Hanging in there. I am very lonely and sad but you would never know unless you were close to me. Dinner with kids and Father, brother. Hope to make it without a fight.

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to all!


Innerzone, I hope you get to see Bohemian Rhapsody. My husband and I really liked it. Rami Malek did a great job in the role.


We had brunch at my dad's house. It was more pleasant than most holiday get togethers as a brunch instead of a dinner. Dad was drinking wine at 11 am, but was not visibly drunk. My brother and I started a political like argument, but my husband cut it short. Just as well.


For over a week, I was proud that I didn't eat hardly any of the cookies I baked. Or much in general. I also did more physical labor than usual. I thought I likely lost a couple pounds. Instead, I gained two pounds. That angered me so much that I've been gorging on cookies ever since. I know, that seems like an odd reaction.


Hubby is taking a nap. He's been sleeping since 3 pm. I actually drifted off a bit, too, but unlike him I can only sleep 10 to 20 mins max during the daytime. I'm awake, but feel at peace.

2 pounds could just be water, I don't think it's anything to worry about.

I'm up and down 3 pounds throughout the month and I weigh myself every day.

[TheSeaCat]

Merry Christmas Guys!

I had another Christmas Dinner at the parents house with all the family. I always love seeing my nieces. My father was in another good mood; I think he is just acting for the season; but I honestly think he is where I got my condition from; it runs in mother's family but sometimes I really question his actions.

The girls got their stockings today and were excited; I got to help set up her phone and all that stuff. She also got the lecture of online predators and to not get Facebook at her age. So I feel a little better that I wasn't the only one concerned about her having a phone at the age. Oh well everyone is happy and everyone in my family was in a good mood. I really am happy with how everything turned out.

I have one more day off and then a busy Thursday and a busy Friday to worry about. After Friday I'll have another four days of and a Company Party to attend. Then come January 2nd; things should go back to normal.

Hugs to all and Happy Holiday's

[wildflowerchild25]

Christmas was a success! My son loved all his gifts, even the clothes lol. My mom got me a tamagotchi! It’s like I’m ten years old again. I put it on my keys but I don’t think I’ll actually turn it on. I don’t really want to play with it, I just want to have it. I got a lot of nice stuff from my family. They always go overboard for Christmas. I got overwhelmed a few times with all the noise and activity but I was able to step outside for a vape break and chill out. So it wasn’t too bad.

Tomorrow I’m going to my father in law’s house which I’m not happy about but my son hasn’t seen him in six months or so so we have to go. He will get even more presents. Thursday I hope to visit my nana. Friday I’m going back to me grandparents’ house just to keep my grandma company and have something to do. I’ll probably help her clean up from Christmas, put her china back, put her gifts away, etc. then I’m hoping to take RS to meet my brother and his wife. Then on Saturday my sister and brother In law are coming up to give my son his presents from them. Somewhere in there I have to clean up and find space for all the damn toys.

So it’ll be a busy week but that’s how I like it. Sunday will be a day of relaxing and cleaning before New Year’s Eve, when me and RS will go to my sister in law’s to watch the ball drop. I’m so excited to actually have a boyfriend on New Year’s Eve. I haven’t had anyone to spend it with since my husband died, four years now. And to spend it with someone I care about as much as RS will be wonderful.

Well I’m exhausted since I didn’t get to sleep until 3am so I’m going to turn in. Merry Christmas everyone!

[beauflow]

s
I am checking in again.
Had a good day, but been a bit bouncy.
Made French toast and started to almost cry as it reminded me of when my oldest sister who died earlier in 2018.. I know my memory is off sometimes ((even though it's great)). But even before her death, I remembered she was the one that made my first French toast telling me at a young age on how to make it.... I tried best to remind myself to be thankful for that.

My ex didn't get great sleep, so he asked that the gifts be picked up and he hung out with me. We didn't go to a movie ((and thanks Innerzone )) but we did go to one of my favorite Asian Bristol restaurants that they were happy to see people... many others were having lunch/dinner too. I really love their service and food and presentation.
After hanging out with my ex and thanking him for hanging out with me ((and I asked that he call his mom, to explain-- I am sorry I know we aren't together but I still try to remind him these things and birthdays)).

But I came back to my friend's home and one of the dogs was acting hurt and he is hurt. I let my friend know, we think he may have sprained a leg..
I sat with the dog, tried to make him comfy and put ice in a towel on his leg a few times ((like in would with me)) and tried to comfort him. I couldn't stay on the floors too long, as it begins to bother my back and legs... just heartbreaking to me. He was crying and just..

Any so many thoughts...
That range from so much -- had to really really focus on not to get emotional and just hysterical. So many thoughts, so many. Some of them ranged with my friendship etc. Plue I am always worried of people getting mean and irrational with me... at moments I felt like I was back with old T talking about these situations, and she reminding me things...

I am exhausted right now... I am thankful he finally got up after i left and shut the stairs doors ((I didn't want him to come down or try to)). I heard him struggling to get up twice and both times I went back up but the second time when hearing his struggles ((nails on the floor)) when I went back up to see him almost up.

My ex reminded me to let my friend to make decisions... because I do not know what to do.
Like if my cat was hurt it depends but I would feel like I would know more on what to do , if that makes any sense.

My friend thanked me for being me,...

I still cried hysterically though after all of this... I just feel so bad even though this is one of the "**** happens" categories.

[Sunflower123]

Had a really good Christmas celebration at my sister’s house starting around 5:00. Lots of love and laughter and what a feast! Usually holidays are rough for me but this was a pleasant surprise. As much as I enjoyed it, I am looking forward to things getting back to normal after New Year’s.

Sending hugs to all.

[Wild Coyote]

Happy to read about each person's day.

Have been very busy for 17 hours today. The last guest just left. It's almost 1 am. House guests have just retired for a few hours. Open house was a success. Have far too much food left over!

Thought I'd check in and would write a quick post.
I hope everyone had a good holiday.
Need to crash.


WC

[Blueberrybook]

102 degrees. I'm calling my PCP in the morning as soon as they open. They will probably be super busy, the doctor herself may be off, but I'll take an NP too.

My head is throbbing, ache horribly behind the eyes,, limbs feel heavy, just don't feel good. I woke up and took my temp., not am having some grapes as I didn't eat dinner and I don't have taste for much.

I'm just glad christmas day is over

yesterday wasn't the worst (I mean their were a few good parts), but I can dcertainly understand why screwdge doesn't like it

today I'm going to take my christmas decorations down at some stage (maybe, if I can be motivated), and I'm having left over turkey for dinner.

I still have some left

why I purchased a full sized turkey for 1 person.... beyond me

[Miss Laura]

Had a great Christmas with the family. My Mum's 1st Christmas since she had the stroke. We went to my Brother's to see my Nephew open gifts then back to my parents. My Sister cooked. Chilled out the whole day. Definitely a different Christmas from last year's.

Today is Boxing Day.... more shenanigans my Brother, his Wife and Son are over for a Roast dinner and then at night we have family over for a gathering at night.

Over good celebrations had by all :-)

[Tucson]

Xmas was good. I went with my daughter’s mother and her family to walk in a park. Her mother made tamales and pozole soup. Several days ago, I purchased a french press to brew coffee. I have been using my new toy allot since then. I have been averaging about 12 cups a day, up from zero. I do not care for the Peruvian coffee bean. The Columbian coffee is much better.

My daughter’s mother has been treating me better, but different from last year. I have not been giving her the attention like I had done in the past. So she has reciprocated in kind. In the past, it has been a kind of one way relationship with her for much of the time. My daughter has pointed this out to me.

I am cold. No heat. I am trying to reduce my electric bill. I cannot afford it to be much over $100 a month. I have been using the microwave allot lately to boil water for my coffee. The usage of electricity has gone up due to this. I wonder what the new year will bring to me. Rags or riches? Being rich to me would be to have a couple thousand in the bank. I have to get my daughter”s car towed to a mechanic. The transmission is going to be replaced with a rebuilt one that I have purchased from Autozone. I also need to call the State of Arizona to try to negotiate my tax bill down to a smaller amount. One more bill to pay. About $2000. Just wonderful.

No one wants to hire me. I have filled in the twenty year gap on my resume as having had worked for a friend of mine. My interview skills have become better, but still not as good as they once were. Maybe they see me as too old to hire. What makes things worse is that I can only work 80 hours a month, and not a minute more. I do need the money. I guess I will have to go door to door to find a job.

Large blocks of missing memories have been coming back to me. It has been a sort of life long amnesia. I do not know why. I even have been remembering names, from my past, and even what I did yesterday. Why am I now rememvering my past?

Enough said. Feliz Navidad! I hope all of you here have had a Happy Christmas, and will have a Merry New Year.

I'm happy to read that many people here had at least a relatively pleasant day yesterday. If not, things do look up.

Blueberrybook, I hope your fever goes down.

Tucson, I'll be following your employment journey. I'm going to be in a similar situation in the future. I've been disabled for eight years and am middle aged. I hope things work out easier than expected for you.

I'm glad to sort of have a more "normal" day today before New Years comes. Hubby has to work today. I mentioned yesterday that my brunch idea for Christmas day turned out to be a good idea. Everyone in my family agreed.

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Had a great Christmas with the family. My Mum's 1st Christmas since she had the stroke. We went to my Brother's to see my Nephew open gifts then back to my parents. My Sister cooked. Chilled out the whole day. Definitely a different Christmas from last year's.

Today is Boxing Day.... more shenanigans my Brother, his Wife and Son are over for a Roast dinner and then at night we have family over for a gathering at night.

Over good celebrations had by all :-)

it all sounds really good.

did you get some good gifts?

Wow. I started typing saying I feel awful but now I'm feeling great!!!
Another day, another regret! One must do the wrong thing.

I feel a bit emotional.

silly really... I'm watching the christmas music channel and they are playing " I love christmas time" by the fast food rockers

I can't help thinking that tomorrow the channel won't be their and it will be back to old, boring, music from the 1980's.

which I have no right to ***** about- because if I want christmas music I can play it anytime of the year

just feel a little upset by it all.. the christmas music channel has been a part of my life for like a month (I know, that's sad, right?)

and now it's going away

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

My mom got me a tamagotchi! It’s like I’m ten years old again. I put it on my keys but I don’t think I’ll actually turn it on. I don’t really want to play with it, I just want to have it.

OMG. I remember those tomagachi things. 90s nostalgia.

Mine was blue and pink. What color is yours?

[Blueberrybook]

98.6 this morning, go figure. I stil. have no energy, a sore throat, throbbing headache, bit achy. I'll see how I do before lunch today. Not worth it to go in unless I have a fever or feel worse than yesterday. I had to cancel my GI doc appt. today. No use going in feeling no so great or getting other people sick. It's supposed to rain too, and I suck at driving, so all I need to do is drive in that area when I'm not my sharpest (near a mall & a biggish hospital).

Hugs to all who need them. Not much up to reading yet.

[UpDownMiddleGround]

I'm struggling this morning. I am out of bed but I feel so,tired. According to my fitbit, I slept 10 hrs. I'm trying to fake it, but that is draining me even more. My plan is to work out today. Maybe that will help.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

OMG. I remember those tomagachi things. 90s nostalgia.

Mine was blue and pink. What color is yours?

Mine is yellow lol. I had like six of them when I was younger!

[wildflowerchild25]

Woke up feeling out of sorts. I slept on my neck wrong so it hurts really bad but thankfully my back doesn’t so that’s good. But I had a disturbing dream this morning. I was a teacher again and I got so angry I screamed at a child and made her cry. Then I screamed at a fellow teacher after she told the child how to file a grievance against me. Then I got so upset I self injured in front of everyone. It was really bad. Work told me I had to see their psychiatrist but I was terrified of being hospitalized so I refused. I screamed some more, and then when the principal said he was going to fire me I cried from relief.

That type of dream, with the screaming and self injury, is actually pretty common for me. But I usually only get them when I’m ill. I’m definitely not ill right now. But I’m just still reeling from the dream. The anguish was real. It reminded me exactly of what I went through last year. You know what, I put on some lotion that I bought last year right before my psychotic break. Maybe the smell triggered the memories in my dreams. I know when I smelled it last night it reminded me of that dark time. You know how smells trigger the most powerful memories.

I don’t know. I don’t feel too great this morning because of it. But I should be better as the day goes on. So whatever.

The living room is giving me anxiety because of how messy it is. It’s littered with presents. I’m going to try to start cleaning when we get back from my father I. Law’s.

[Faltering]

I had a nice Christmas with family with minimal drama for once. I ended up drinking last night and I regret it. I didn't take my night meds because of it. I threw up all night and only slept 3 hours. I still feel nauseous today. This morning I was seeing and hearing things. I'm hoping to avoid drinking again, especially for New Years. My family thinks I'm funnier when I drink, but the effects aren't worth it. Today I'm dropping off my car to get a new transmission. It only has 18k miles. The service is fortunately covered by warranty. I think I'm going to trade in my car before the warranty expires.

[Blueberrybook]

Running fever again...99.5, getting back the horrible headache, achy all over, sore throat, and some nausea now. Couldn't even finish a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a few saltines for lunch. I will see what my temp is at when I can take Tylenol again at 3 PM. I called my doctor's office, and everyone there is booked up until next Wed., even the NPs. So unless I get horribly sick, I will wait it out instead of going to urgent care, which is sure to be crowded and will be a waste of money anyway if it's the flu or a viral infection.

[Unrigged64072835]

Sorry you’re not feeling well, BBB. Hope you feel better soon.

I’m in different kinds of pain today. I’d explain but it’s TMI. Both my husband and I are tired and not with it, so we’re taking my daughter out for sushi instead of making dinner. Couldn’t focus on anything and even forgot the groceries from earlier this morning. Thankfully only had to rebuy the milk and eggs.

The lawn maintenance people are out blowing out the last of the leaves. A little late to be doing this but oh well.

Update: Dinner went well, but overall it was rather awkward. My daughter is great and I love her, but we ran out of conversation after ½ hour. We’re definitely different personalities and not much in common. I’ll be happier taking a smaller role in her life, and I think she would too.