[Victoria'smom]

Take your PRN’s, go to bed and contact your psych team. My prn is just to sleep and I see T Wednesday. I don't know how much I can tell her. I feel crazy the way I explain it. I don't know my mood. I'll take it tonight though.

[wildflowerchild25]

Feeling sooo much better. Went to work for the whole day today, didn’t even wish I wasn’t there. Got plenty of sleep last night. I’m so thankful. A whole depressed episode over in ten days! That’s a record for me. I think the increased haldol really helped. I guess I needed it more than I realized. Guess I just have to be ok with taking ten mg for the lon term. Illl watch for signs of TD but for now it seems to be ok.

Things are going really well with RS. We’re seeing each other often and having a great time with each other. He’s a wonderful man.

Possible snow this weekend. Ugh.

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Feeling sooo much better. Went to work for the whole day today, didn’t even wish I wasn’t there. Got plenty of sleep last night. I’m so thankful. A whole depressed episode over in ten days! That’s a record for me. I think the increased haldol really helped. I guess I needed it more than I realized. Guess I just have to be ok with taking ten mg for the lon term. Illl watch for signs of TD but for now it seems to be ok.

Things are going really well with RS. We’re seeing each other often and having a great time with each other. He’s a wonderful man.

Possible snow this weekend. Ugh.

Yea!! (Hope the snow's not too bad though.)

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone today was a good day today even though it was chart audit day which is basically when me and my boss get to dig through everyone's patient load and check for things that were missed like prehypertension; preventive care not being talked about things like that. Not to mention boss and I got to go through all the prescription meds written for all of 2018; which let me tell you is a blast. Like seriously everyone should get the pleasure of doing it. So I had a very very busy day today. Luckily my boss let me rope doc into the fun so there was three of us doing it; instead of just two; granted we still aren't even half way done; so looks my entire week is going to be a blast.

My heart rate is still refusing to budge even on two heart medications it's just not budging and I am on XR versions of both so it should be doing something but it just isn't. Doc was in my office all day helping with audits and he's like I just don't understand how two cardiac meds doesn't work for you. I wish I knew doc; I wish I knew.

I went grocery shopping after work with M since apparently we are both fresh out of food, there is nothing I hate more than grocery shopping; I like clothing and shoe shopping but I despise grocery shopping. I feels like there is always someone chasing you around the store and you always spend more than you thought you were going to; which I do the same with clothes shopping. I followed by a quick trip to the gym for float yoga; I actually managed to totally fall in the pool this go around.

My tooth is no longer bothering me; which is a very good thing since I am completely out of Anaprox and I able to kiss M again which is very very nice.

Wednesday I get to see the Psych PA which I have a feeling is going to be about as fun as doing chart and med audits for a straight week.

Hugs to everyone

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Guiness187055

Great news. I contacted my lawyer and he said the phone call I received was spam. Pretty scary how someone could know where you are in a court case before court. I should have just done a back check on the number and I would have found it was a fraud. There I went again worrying about nothing I could control. Now on to the worry. Have a great day all.

I am so happy to learn that it was a spam call; I know you were really worried about that phone call and I am so glad to know that it was fraudulent. I hope everything goes well with your case and you are able to get disability.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I had a difficult day. After 3 years on clozaril (monthly labs after a year, more frequently before that) I have favorite phlebotomists, favorite veins, routine on lab days etc. Today I forgot to drink water before I went in. My favorite phlebotomist did the draw but it involved 2 sticks and a lot of wiggling the needle around. Not pleasant.

Then I got home to a letter from a collection agency. I have worked my butt off to fix my horrible credit score that I earned when I was too unwell to pay bills without help. It's now at the top of the range and I don't want anything to change that. I hope this won't go on my record. I paid it immediately. I just don't understand what is for; it seems to be related to my pre-op for my surgery last year. I'll have to look back at records and see if I can figure it out.

I have a friend who seems to be gradually moving out of my life. I'm not sure why. I'm trying to not get upset but I'm not getting answers to anything and it's been 2 months I think. This person is my mentor and I'm kind of terrified of life without him. I don't need him daily but I'd like to have some relationship and it is seeming that we're ending things. It's confusing.

Now it is really cold and my heat pump runs constantly at this temperature so my electric bill is going up as I write. Ugh. At least I have lots of warm blankets and 2 throw cats for additional warmth.

Sorry for complaining. It was a stressful day. I feel like I'm edging up to some hypo which is rare for me in winter but things happen. Hopefully it goes away and I complain less.

[~Christina]

Waiting for night meds to kick in be like

[Guiness187055]

I wish mine worked. Guess I am up for the day.

[Aurelius710]

I... am having a bit of a freakout over financial stability, courtesy of all of the fun I'm having with the university and in trying to find a job. I'm obsessing over thoughts of financial and personal inadequacy which lead me to want to say "Why bother?" on school and work which then further fuels my thoughts and feelings of inadequacy. A nice, lovely cycle.

I can see a way to break the cycle though. If I can stop myself obsessing about money by either getting aid, getting a job, getting help from parents, etc., I can get myself focused on classes old and new. Just need to break the cycle.

[Nammu]

Bah humbug my night meds didn't knock me out either. Did have a weird dream where some in law family had three king sized beds in one room where all the older kids and parents delt slept and a nother room with two king size beds where all the younger kids slept and I was trying to bring a gift to the matriarch but couldn't reach her though all the kids playing games. Something about an old fashioned Solon hair dryer too? Mum was there playing a live action video game too! After all that I woke up around 2:30 am exhausted! I stayed in bed but tossed and turned the rest of the night.

[Unrigged64072835]

Saw pnurse today. She took me off of Viibryd (I wasn't taking that anyway and it's hella expensive). She asked me if I was hypo because I mentioned occasional racing thoughts and having too many irons in the fire. I think I have enough structure going on to counter that. I can get to sleep most nights when I blank my mind and stay calm. Some priorities also shift a bit because of planning. As long as I structure my time I can fit it all in. Right now, though, planning sewing projects is time-consuming because of all the details involved.

Husband got his flu shot and first shingles shot. He's going to be fun for a couple of days.

I had to take a muscle relaxer this morning because I had a knot in my right calf. I felt groggy all day. I almost fell asleep during the pnurse appointment.

Going to camp out for the evening.

You all are important, even if you think you aren't. Take care of yourselves and each other.

[Scooter9]

I've been working day and night on my book and I'm in the home stretch. Probably another 10 pages to go.

Then I need to assemble it all into one file, make sure the headings are good, add a legal notice, give credit to the authors of some images I used, make a cover and then get things ready to start distributing it. I also need to proof read it since I don't have an editor.

Probably another week or so but the writing is almost done. If things go well I'll have it completely done in time for my mother's surgery.

Strangely, I'm still depressed. The motivation hasn't kicked in yet, I hope it will. I'm not eating the best. I have my meals but breakfast and lunch are really small. I have lost 4 pounds.

[Victoria'smom]

I don't know what to do I want to stop Zyprexa but then my only options is Saphris, clozapine,or resperidal. I don't want another AP but no one will work with me without it. Says something right? I don't think Pnures will give me an AD. Lots of sleeping and running in my head. Really worried about tomorrow.

[hopeless2015]

Hugs for those who want or need them!! Things are qoing ok, work is busy. We are expecting another snow storm this weekend...ugggg. We will see how this one plays out. Still snow on the ground from last weekend

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Bah humbug my night meds didn't knock me out either. Did have a weird dream where some in law family had three king sized beds in one room where all the older kids and parents delt slept and a nother room with two king size beds where all the younger kids slept and I was trying to bring a gift to the matriarch but couldn't reach her though all the kids playing games. Something about an old fashioned Solon hair dryer too? Mum was there playing a live action video game too! After all that I woke up around 2:30 am exhausted! I stayed in bed but tossed and turned the rest of the night.

Insomnia sucks and then if you do sleep it brings on bizarre dreams.

Annnnoying !! Hope you sleep better tonight.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I don't know what to do I want to stop Zyprexa but then my only options is Saphris, clozapine,or resperidal. I don't want another AP but no one will work with me without it. Says something right? I don't think Pnures will give me an AD. Lots of sleeping and running in my head. Really worried about tomorrow.

Why not just accept you need Zyprexa ? Like you need Mt Dew? Just part of your day.

Just be honest with your P nurse.

Don’t let your life become a monster. Just take Z and work on healthy coping skills

[~Christina]

Night meds never really kicked in for shyt ... tossed and turned and reading Would have just got up but it was/is cold

Maybe my meds will work tonight ? Here’s hoping. .... if not I’ll just read all night again... thank god for free books on my kindle

Anyone need a hug or a cookie ?

Work decided I can go back to part time (Total reverse from last week's declaration. They're kind of notorious for that.). TG!!!! Very relieved. Still, I spend 2 1/2 hours a day commuting, which is ridiculous. But at least for now, it will be more bearable.

Finally made doctor appointment. Cancelled psych appointment (still have meds, and doing ok).

Busy week! Meet Up, interview, concert, oh my!

Hugs for all who would like them.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Insomnia sucks and then if you do sleep it brings on bizarre dreams.

Annnnoying !! Hope you sleep better tonight.

Planing on taking the full allowed dose of 20mg ambien tonight. Usually I only take 10 or 15 cause I don't want to get too much of a tolerance but gees I wanna sleep too

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Work decided I can go back to part time (Total reverse from last week's declaration. They're kind of notorious for that.). TG!!!! Very relieved. Still, I spend 2 1/2 hours a day commuting, which is ridiculous. But at least for now, it will be more bearable.


Finally made doctor appointment. Cancelled psych appointment (still have meds, and doing ok).


Busy week! Meet Up, interview, concert, oh my!


Hugs for all who would like them.

That is a loooong damn commute for you

Glad they went back PT , I know that screwed up things for you.

Sounds like a fun week !

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Planing on taking the full allowed dose of 20mg ambien tonight. Usually I only take 10 or 15 cause I don't want to get too much of a tolerance but gees I wanna sleep too

I had to do that with Ambein in the past , then it just quit working at all, so many meds just poop out after a while.

[Daonnachd]

It feels like I'm headed into depression. The symptoms point to it. Most significantly, I feel absolutely worthless. In fact, I wouldn't be here sharing except that Jennifer reached out to me. (Thank you)


I'm two and a half weeks away from my next ECT and can't reschedule it for sooner. Once there, I think I'm going to ask my ECT doc to shorten my interval.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone; I hope everyone had a good day; at least better than mine. I'm still suck in chart audit and med audit hell and I still have the office invader since I can't exactly leave him alone so my desk is shared and he is using my work laptop to do his own audits; just under my credentials and even though I do trust him; I don't trust him enough to not keep my eye on him.

In more serious news I'm starting to get very anxious about my visit tomorrow with the psych PA and I had Cardiac Papatations last night from about 1 to 1:30 in the morning which I mean I was still up but still with all this heart medication I am on it should be doing something; and plus the last time I saw Dr. Cardio he heard a murmur I asked doc; M and A all to see if they could hear the murmur he heard; which of course they could not. That is honestly three against one Cardio. One doc and two PA's. I am just sick of feeling like Chicken Little with my health; I keep saying I just want one week; just one where I don't have to see someone in the medical field and honestly I'm starting to wonder if maybe that Electophsyicologist was right when he said Ablation and a Pacemaker would be the best option. I've a lot of different Cardiac drugs and nothing seems to lower my heart rate; and now the palpitations have returned. I'm just totally sick of constant health issues; my mental health seems to have taken a back seat to my heart.

Hugs to everyone

[Guiness187055]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I had to do that with Ambein in the past , then it just quit working at all, so many meds just poop out after a while.

Right now the flavor of the month is Ambein with Doxepin.

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

It feels like I'm headed into depression. The symptoms point to it. Most significantly, I feel absolutely worthless. In fact, I wouldn't be here sharing except that Jennifer reached out to me. (Thank you)


I'm two and a half weeks away from my next ECT and can't reschedule it for sooner. Once there, I think I'm going to ask my ECT doc to shorten my interval.

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling crappy Daonnachd, but very glad you reached out -- and so glad to see you again! You're DEFINITELY not worthless!!!!! (Btw, nice drawings, I checked them out. )

How much of an interval do you currently have?