Do you feel shame from any of your hospitilizations?

I feel immense shame sometimes thinking back. When I was restrained, when I got injected with an antipsychotic. Times where I yelled at nurses and told off techs. I feel embarrassed and shameful especially if I get sent to the same hospital. I have had psychotic episodes in the past, not from manias. But just on their own. I think back and it bugs me sometimes to feel so embarrassed. Anyone else?

I’m just embarrassed from the amount of hospitalizations I’ve had. I’ve been in 22 times since I was 14. That’s just ridiculous. I’m ashamed that I can never seem to make it through a severe depression without being hospitalized.

Doctors and staff should be ashamed of their admittance and care practices, of course treatment used to be much worse

Don't know about shamed but I'm sure plenty embarrassed

No I’m not embarrassed. I’m in hospital 3-4 times a year. 4-6 weeks at a time.

Nope not at all.

Not really. I'm only embarrassed that there's been a need for it at all.

Personally, I feel the experience altogether was very surreal. I can tell my experience was a different experience than others that were admitted at the time. I knew better than to try to make friends while I was there while showing a healthy amount of interaction. People just aren't themselves immediately after a trauma, it was a very sad experience for me.

I feel no shame about my psychosis (I remember) or my draggings and injections in isolation rooms. I also feel no shame about being sick to the degree that hospital security was ordered to follow me around for some hours one day. There were surely some pretty bad situations, but the worst I believe are not present in my memory.

I do remember two things that I do feel a little ashamed about. One involved a nurse practitioner at the hospital. I'm ashamed that during extreme mania with mixed features that I created a violent spectacle (leading to the isolation room) that I deserved a psychiatrist instead. I insulted the NP in an extremely horrible way. Everyone in the ward heard and saw my tirade, including the NP. I was even screaming and rolling around the floor. The next day I was transferred to a psychiatrist. I won't go into details.

Another time I was manic and got severely drunk. It was on a business trip many states from home. What happened was dangerous and horrible. I was hospitalized immediately upon my return. My company's money spent on me was wasted. There are some things about that period I don't remember.

I try not to let the past haunt me. That does no good. To make up for it I quit drinking, work harder to use lessons and skills frim therapy, take my meds as I should, be honest with my doctor. I try to stay in the moment and generally do the best I can. I'm not perfect and never will be, but I feel appreciative at how much I've learned and how much I still can learn.

There were no isolation rooms where I was, that I know of anyway, but sounds like you had a rough experience and parts you don't remember. Also, having them make you wait so long to see a psychiatrist (longer on weekends and holidays) without knowing who or when you can talk, eat or whatever else you need to do. Ugh, just an uncomfortable experience. I would only suggest it in an emergency.

I would feel ashamed if I was hospitalized now, and my daughter came to see me there. How would I explain it to her? How would she explain it to her boyfriend? About her own father being admitted to a psych unit? I hope IP will never happen again. It has been over thirty years since my last admission. Maybe I just should not tell her about it if this happens to me again. So restating this, I am not ashamed about my last IP stay, but I will be if it happened to me again.

Not at all. But I also want to mention that there is no reason to feel shame and that the medical staff at your hospital have seen everything and worse in their professional lives.

I don't tell anyone. My son told my in-laws that was embarrassing. They were talking about it like it was a vacation. Then my son said "mom's been on vacation a couple of times." We try to keep an open conversation at home so he didn't think it was taboo.

I don't feel at all ashamed at the hospitalizations (I have 2). I don't think they were that effective to be honest. One of them felt like a weird singles mixer. Working with my therapist has been loads more useful.

No, my shame comes from the lost jobs, the bungled interviews, the uninished semesters of college. Come May, I will have been to school nine school years off and on courtesy of my bipolar illness. Each time I can't finish feels like a gut punch and the more it happens the more I just want it to be something else. Something that is actually my fault. Counting cards in Vegas or something.

I asked for an extension on a paper in one of my classes because of my depression, but I couldn't credit my inability to finish that paper to my depression. I credited it to (already existing and serious) health problems because I was too ashamed to say I couldn't get out of bed or wash my clothes for a month and a half in order to show up to my professor's morning class. The professor was annoyed, which didn't help my shame about this issue.

I guess I would say embarrassed, but thats from what i barely remember, dont remember much, either too symptomatic( catatonic/stupor) or too drugged up

I’m embarrassed by the amount of up stays. I think I’m at 23 in last 14 years. I’m also embarrassed by the amount of times they’ve seen the injuries I’ve done to myself.

I felt ashamed the last time I was hospitalized. I don't even remember why I was there it was during a psychotic episode in the regular hospital and I came to chained to a bed.

I was humiliated to be hospitalized involuntarily. I remember the staff members talking about my symptoms while I was stuck in a small empty white room by myself. The person on the phone wanted to know if I was aggressive. I started crying.

No, but I don't like to bring them up or talk about them.

Since you are in the US, you are covered by the ADA - go to the Disabilities office at your school, tell them everything and make them do the legwork for you. You might be entitled to extensions, longer periods to submit exams, the opportunity to write your finals in the ADA office and not in the professor's classroom, and more.

I tried the Disabilities office in grad school, but they didn't really help me. I think they help people with learning disabilities more. They said I should get all my assignments early, but the professors gave all the assignments at the beginning of the semester anyway. I wanted extensions because I had trouble getting stuff done on time, but they wouldn't do that.

I will say that I only had papers, not tests. I guess I could have got extended time on tests, but finishing tests on time has never been an issue for me.

My issues revolve around both my physical and mental health tag playing off of each other to the extent that I can't focus on anything else. I end up dropping everything school related in the middle of the semester so I can get better physically and or mentally, but when I come back, there's no way I can catch up, even with an extension on my coursework, and have to be administratively withdrawn from my courses. I can plan on bipolar disorder easily enough, given that the seasonal aspect is pretty consistent for me, but when my body repeatedly fails to act it's age courtesy of a genetic disorder that causes me chronic diseases better found in people thirty to forty years my senior and many, many cancer scares, my stress compounds.

The other source of my stress is that someone in the bureaucracy has changed the metric that has kept me in school. It's not simply failing my courses that would get me in trouble academically and financially. Not completing them falls in the same category now, which seems like semantics until you realize administrative withdrawals and course extensions are now treated like me counting cards in Vegas rather than legitimate medical excuses.

I have a single paper from a single course which merited a single extension. Now I'm not sure I'll be able to get my scholarships, financial aid and the like.

Well its like a family reunion when I get put into this one particular hospital. I don't mind that one at all and don't feel too much shame when you meet other patients that have respectable careers and aren't crazy like you would think psych patients are.

But in 2015, I felt a lot of shame being put in a local hospitals 7th floor. I graduated with about 5 employees, played baseball growing up with the head nurse. And it didn't help that I was in a psychotic depression. I was so stressed my hair was falling out in clumps (it since stopped) I couldn't eat and I was down about 30lbs from my usual weight. I understand hippa, but at this point I feel like my mental illness is well known around the community. Even though I don't see anyone really I used to go to school with or know, the shame is still there. I try to avoid popular hotspots around town where I might be spotted.

In reality , people probably have no idea what is going on with me, there too worried about themselves.

I’m also ashamed of police being sent to me house twice. One time they almost made me go to er

Shame is my middle name..wait..no it's not. You've opened up some strange doors. It's best you lose that empty road that leads to nowhere and make to most of where you are now.

Sorry if I'm confusing but I've consumed liquor and I'm really playful on alcohol given nobody puts me down.