Should I give up working?

Hi all!

Last week my T and I discussed whether or not I should return to work in a week or so. I have been off work since August last year due to various physical problems (mostly Fibromyalgia/CFS), and of coarse Bipolar. It is a casual job that supplements my disability pension. Without that extra money each week I slowly fall behind, even as I reassess my budget. Basically, I have to slowly eat away my savings.

The problems with returning to work are;
1) my physical health is still poor so I risk big flare-ups after each shift (two a week). This will impact my mental health and ability to study (I had last year off but am returning to university in 5 weeks).

2) Every year for at least the last five years I have had multiple hospitalisations which have made me an unreliable employee resulting in tension at work and stress for me, pressed me to work when still very unwell so I work under the influence of a huge amount of meds, and the stress only makes my mental health worse.

My T explained that if I do not reduce stress in my life I will continue to have multiple severe episodes that risk my life. He has suggested that I stop working and live off my savings while I complete my degree. Studying is less stressful on my body and good for my mental health. I have always pressured myself and pushed myself beyond my limits to achieve my goals in life, but at the expense of my health.

Quitting work is probably my best chance at long-term stability, at preventing worse case scenarios. HOWEVER, even supplementing my disability income with a small amount of savings each week to live a very basic life will have my savings gone in about 18 months. The hope is I will be better by then and able to get a new job but that is not guaranteed.

What do you all suggest I do?

Can you find a less stressful part time job. Cut everything to the basics? can you get help with housing? food? electric? Do you have a bus system you can use instead of paying for gas, and car insurance and things like that? We have our basics and internet. We use a car instead of the bus cost us 210 a month so having a car is manageable. I would try to keep my savings. Can you try working again? What will change when you get your degree? will you be able to work then? why?

We are all so different. What works for me, may not work for someone else. It it were me, I would work as long as I could, even if it meant being late or calling in sick sometimes. But my T recommends that I keep my brain as occupied as possible. If your T has made a suggestion, I recommend that you follow his/her recommendation or reassess if it's a good time to go to the University.

Thanks. I'm in Australia so things may be different here. There may be a few cuts I can make, like cancelling my contents insurance, but not very many. I am already in the cheapest housing I can get. The waiting list for cheaper housing is about 7-10 years and even then I must be at risk of losing my current residence (a flat I rent). I have a car but don't drive much so a full tank lasts me 3-4 weeks. The bus system to get to the main places I go is ridiculously long (like 2 or so hours each way). I live very frugally, my employment history from when I was high functioning was in credit management. However, when hypo/manic I lose control of my spending. T suggest I give my Mum Enduring Power of Attorney over my finances so she can cut the supply off when unwell. That scares me even though my mother is wonderful.

Another less stressful (on my body and mind) job is a good idea that I will have to look into. My past employment skills are generally for full-time positions or standing up customer service. I don't want to use my savings. My T isn't pressuring me either way. He was just stressing the seriousness of my situation and offering a suggestion. My Rhuematologist doesn't want me working till at least April but my employer won't wait that long. I just don't know what to do.

Thanks. It is not like I just call in sick sometimes (I do), but I have at least three months off a year due to severe Bipolar episodes that require hospitalisation. That should not be. Hence the need to reassess my life to try to reduce the risk of relapse. Not to be over-exaggerating here but my life is seriously in danger. My episodes are just getting worse. Still, if not for my debilitating physical issues I would be more inclined to stay at work. They feed off each other. I see my T again Wednesday to continue this discussion. Have to call work Friday.

When do you need to make the decisions? I would let your mom or a third party to pay your bills and see how that goes.

I feel too embarrassed to ask anyone to look after my finances. Often when I calm down after going crazy in a mixed state my Mum takes my debit card to stop me. Can be too late by then but does help.

I have to call work Friday to check in. They may or may not have a job for me still. I will then be expected to give a soon date I can return or they may have to fire me.

Sounds like you have already made your decision. Only you know whats right for you.

Amazingly I have found a way to be scared while hypomanic. Weird as joy flies through me. I am struggling to work myself up to making that phone call Friday

I left my job of 10+ years last year after a 6 month sick leave. Was a huge anxiety inducing decision. I now work part time at a much lower paying job but with far less stress. Im happier and am starting to function better. That’s just my story

Thanks for sharing. I’m glad you were able to find a job that suits you. Maybe I can find one that suits me too. One less than 15 hours a week.

Still, it breaks my heart that I may have to leave my current job. For retail it is very interesting and challenging. It’s the running around on my feet that messes with my physical illness. Right now I’m trying to use the power of my mind to will myself to wellness. I believe it is my last hope.

Oh gosh I am going through this right now myself.

I returned to work less than four months ago and my anxiety is ridiculously high. Daily panic attacks, throwing up before work, etc. All I think about is work when I am not at work. The thought of going back after a day or too off is terrifying and obsessive. It is causing turmoil in my life - even affecting my relationship. It is robbing me of enjoying life outside of work as it has permeated every minute of every day.

I can't not work though. I need the money to survive.

Wander, I would quit work, transfer the savings to your mom and have her pay for your essential needs and give you a small allowance as disposable income so that you would not have funds for shopping sprees when hypomanic; I would focus fully on my studies because the future stream of higher income justifies giving up lower income now. The faster you finish University, the better off you will be positioned to take on a professional job. With studying, work, bipolar illness, and physical illness, you are spread too thin and are at risk of not accomplishing anything well.

Thanks everyone for your helpful input. Saw my T today and with his support I was able to see that the best decision I can make right now is to use my medical certificate provided by my Rheumatologist that lasts till early April. This gives me more time to think and hopefully recover by then so I will be able to return to work hopefully only one day per week. If my employer cannot extend my medical leave past this week I will have to resign as my body is not ready to return to work. Hopefully this space for over two months plus a reduction in hours will reduce my stress enough and avoid triggering another severe episode.

I call my employer Friday so please send me good vibes if you can. I’m anxious about the call already. Thanks

Does Aus offer disability?

I don’t have great advice here I just want you to know I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. You are such a giving friend and you deserve so much happiness. I hope wellness finds you soon and that you are able to make the descisiom that truly works best for you. All my love!

I would be anxious about needing to call the employer too.

Is there a possibility of putting it in writing instead? You have control over what you write and you would need to react on the spot to whatever the employer says in response.

I think your making a wise choice.

I’m in Australia on the east coast. Sending you good vibes. I’ve not worked for 4.5yrs.
In theory you can’t be fired for being sick. In practice as you know, it happens.
I was advised by a HR person and a lawyer NOT to resign.
I would not resign unless you are forced to and until your medical certificate runs out. Even then wait for your employer to terminate you. They have to justify doing so.
Go through your employment contract termination clause with a fine tooth comb.
In my case going through the clause uncovered a section which means I will be paid part of my salary until 65yrs of age.
Any questions - I’ll try and keep a closer eye on the forum