[Nammu]

Blizzard was right! There's a ton of new snow out there. The snow is halfway up the sliding glass doors to the deck and you can't tell there a driveway in front. Boy it's gonna take a lot of time to dig out from this.oh, OY......back to bed seems like a good solution

[AspiringAuthor]

Did not take Topamax last night and am not depressed this morning. Very functional. So I now know it was making me depressed. I will try lowering its dose. Oh, experimentation with meds again!

[Under*Over]

I feel so ashamed when I cant just... “stop” whatever crazy thing is going through my head immediately. I know its part of the illness but it frustrates me how tricky my brain can be. I dont want the mental illness to win. But I am afraid it might sometimes

I want another med change. Everything is working but I'm sleeping a lot and gaining weight like crazy. Or at least start out decreasing the Zyprexa. The other day I was told I'll wind up homeless or permanently locked up because I didn't want to make a phone call so that kinda triggered me. I just want some beef stew!

[wildflowerchild25]

Just got the call...my father In law has passed away from cancer. My son has lost his grandfather. He seems to be ok but I’m sure he will cry at the funeral. I am fine, though I will probably be a mess at the funeral as well. I’m not sure when it will be yet. My mother in law has to fly his body up from Tennessee and plan everything so I don’t know how long that will take. Could be next Saturday which will suck because I was supposed to go to the flower show with RS but there’s always the next weekend. I don’t know. I just hope that the funeral doesn’t traumatize my son too much. He’s never been to a viewing before.

@wildflowerchild25 so sorry for your loss, sending many hugs

[Daonnachd]

I was talking with friends yesterday morning, just checking in with each other. I knew something bad had happened to me during the week but I couldn't recall what it was. This has sort of dragged me down. All day I obsessed about this hole in my memory. This morning I remembered - my debit card had been hacked.

[yellow_fleurs]

wildflowerchild25 I am sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family.

[Daonnachd]

wildflowerchild, I'm sorry for the loss and the emotional turmoil you are bound to experience.

[liveforsummer]

I am sorry for your loss wildflowerchild25

[Scooter9]

@wildflowerchild25 so sorry for your loss

[~Christina]

Wild...I’m so sorry for your loss.

WildFlowerChild25, so sorry for your loss. I hope the funeral is not too hard on you and your son.

I feel okay now but wrestled with suicidality for about an hour last night which i don't like to see. It seems to have passed now tho so that's good. I'm really missing TV since i cut the cable and started watching online. There's just no flipping it on to see what's on. Oh well, TV's pretty negative anyways and i'm saving heaps of money.

I'm so very sorry for your loss, wildflowerchild.

Well, here I am at work. Can't say I'm liking this job much. Meh.
I'm utterly dreading when they think I can do stuff by myself.
People are ok so far. Here late tonight. I'm about ready for sleep now and there are still 3 1/2 hours to go...

[Sunflower123]

wildflowerchild...my condolences on your loss.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Wildflower, I am so sorry for your loss and for your son's loss.

[~Christina]

Been a very annoying day , so I slept most of it. But I think I’ll overserve myself a Xanax or 3 and hopefully sleep through the night.

I have the patience of a gnat *sigh*

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone and Happy Sunday. I hope everyone had a good Sunday. I had to work again but only part of the day since boss was watching it while I was able to attend Sunday School and Church with M. It felt like he and I hadn't had very much us time this week with the niece emergency and work obviously. I got to sleep in a little bit this morning which was nice; granted I wish I could have slept in a little later since I usually get to sleep in on Saturdays; which due to working yesterday I didn't get to sleep in at all and was much an normal work day.

Today was Sunday School and Church which is always a nice time; granted I was a little sad that M and I had to ditch the usual lunch we have with his parents; but things had to be done before Monday and boss asked everyone to come help get everything set up and so they could be the very first to see everything all nice and shiney and be excited for what this will create for our clinic. There are some minor things that I need to deal with tomorrow with the help of a label maker; but that is rather minor and it's only because it's easier reading a label then actually memorizing what is in cabinets. I am so happy to see it all together since it was my project; I am a little worried about Wednesday when all the of the company higher ups and the public is coming to see the open house/meet the provider night. I am actually really nervous about that night; lots of people the clinic being center of attention; people judging the decisions I have made. I'll be okay just have to rearrange my Buspirone and hope to God it goes well. I mean the staff tonight was super excited to see the final product, granted they will probably all be off tomorrow since everything is so different. It wasn't just a coat of paint but a whole bunch of new.

In relationship news M came over after the fun event of moving everything back into it's proper cabinet and he said those three words. I love you; which I do love him; but it was so different because it usually me saying I love you not the guy. I also know he means it because I didn't even hesitate to say those words back. He is really the best and he makes me such a better person.

Another Monday tomorrow; I am counting down the days until I get a proper weekend again.

Hugs to everyone

[TheSeaCat]

@wildflowerchild25 I am so very sorry for your loss sending you a very warm hug.

[ElStevo]

heatwave in South Australia of a week long over 37 degrees celsius, meaning limited outdoor activities like my bike riding or walking which are common diversions for me when I get agitated or anxious. Mornings are tolerable but sleep still poor due to my bipolar/anxiety plus the heat. Music and painting in acrylic help for moderate periods, as does venting here and reading the available info/links through PC.

[Unrigged64072835]

So sorry for your loss Wildflowerchild.

On a holding pattern for a stand for my dress form so doing other things. Wind has been whipping around past day and a half. I need to get my butt in gear.

[pirilin]

Sleeping without pills. Six solid hours. Gonna try for a couple more.
I need my Reposo Absoluto.
The hernia is a given. The pain doesn't go away.
Trigger finger and eyes getting better.
I'm a sack of physical sickness nowadays.
You have to be brave to be old. I am.

Cheers.

My husband is home sick today. Our friend and her fiancee enjoyed the concert tickets we gave them for yesterday afternoon. I'm not quite sure what I'll do today, but will baby my honey.

I need to finally schedule my annual mammogram. I've put it off a bit. This week I also get blood tests done for my annual GP visit/physical. I expect the results to be worse than the ones six months ago, unfortunately, but I never know. Been having all kinds of digestive discomfort lately. I'll be happy for a chance to discuss that with my GP soon.