[Under*Over]

My brain doesnt feel good I cant stop groaning. What is wrong with me what is wrong with me Im so confused

[wildflowerchild25]

I had to reduce my haldol dose as I ran out and I didn’t want to go completely without it. I’m feeling it. Starting to get paranoid again. I was SURE my coworkers were talking about me but this time it’s anyone who whispers around me. I’m sure they’re calling me fat and ugly. This is, of course, ridiculous, but it feels so real. I’m also positive my brother is lying about why he can’t hang out this weekend. Things just don’t add up. I think he’s ditching me for his other friends. Again, most likely untrue, but I can’t stop thinking about it.

Good news is the pharmacy just texted me that my script is ready so I can pick it up tomorrow. I told RS to remind me. He’s staying the night tonight even though it’s a work night just because we both want to spend time together.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Things are okay. I wish I were seeing my therapist sooner, though. After she had to cancel we couldn't find a time that worked for us both for a few more weeks. I am functioning and doing what I can to cope in healthy ways, I would just like it if I had more consistent appointments so I could make progress a bit quicker. It's because of my work schedule and that everyone probably wants evening/weekend appointments that makes it tough.


Small thing that made me smile today. Someone at work introduced themselves to me at lunch today, and it brightened my mood a bit that they took the time to get to know me.

I'm sorry there's issues with your scheduling , I hope something is able to help you I understand needing more consistent appointments. I went from having a lot of support for a long time to now only seeing my therapist once a month and doctor every two months.

I think that's great that person introduced themselves to you. Little things like that can make a huge difference. I've had a lot of times that's happened and it makes me want to be like that, smile at someone or give a compliment, ask how they're doing etc. kindness like that can really change a persons day especially if they're struggling

[Blue_Bird]

I've been very depressed. I finally broke down last night and cried. I have been so overwhelmed with the voices and anxiety it started really getting me down. I felt like the only way to stop it, was to stop me, take my own life. I didn't, because I don't want to die, I just want that stuff to stop. I love life, I'm normally a very happy person but I haven't been feeling right since maybe the autumn. Things don't make me happy anymore, things I normally love, I don't even have an appetite which is highly unusual for me. That's only happened one other time in my life.

Anyway, sorry for rambling on, I'm starting to feel hopeful though. I'm going to have a peer support person soon to talk to when things are difficult. I'm reconnecting with my faith, it disappeared for awhile which was very upsetting. I plan on making it through day by day, I will do things that help me feel better, and make myself eat, shower etc.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone and happy Thursday my week is almost over granted I get to work Saturday since this whole clinic remodel is my baby and boss worked while the painters were painting so it's only fair that I work Saturday; I'm just a little upset since that is typically date day and after everything with the niece I could really use a date day and okay I kind of miss being in the same bed as him.

The niece is starting to freat about the procedure tomorrow even though it's really nothing. I keep trying to tell her I had something similar when I was in the hospital with a scary high heart rate and super low blood pressure. She is mad that she also only gets to miss one day of school and we all made her get the assignments for tomorrow so they can be done by Monday. It will also be my first vacation day that I willingly am taking off work. That feels so weird to type.

In work news M and I got an email from the CEO about our public apperence talking about the clinic remodel, flu season, and what kind of services we offer. That he was proud of us and we really made the organization look good and that he was also excited to see the remodel; which just makes you feel good reading something like that. The old job we never got emails from the CEO at all, no job well done; no keep up the good work nothing her assistant sent those sort of emails. The two places couldn't be more different and I am honestly thriving in a place that actually values their employees; this time last year I finally realized what a crappy place I was working for.

Hugs to everyone

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I've been very depressed. I finally broke down last night and cried. I have been so overwhelmed with the voices and anxiety it started really getting me down. I felt like the only way to stop it, was to stop me, take my own life. I didn't, because I don't want to die, I just want that stuff to stop. I love life, I'm normally a very happy person but I haven't been feeling right since maybe the autumn. Things don't make me happy anymore, things I normally love, I don't even have an appetite which is highly unusual for me. That's only happened one other time in my life.

Anyway, sorry for rambling on, I'm starting to feel hopeful though. I'm going to have a peer support person soon to talk to when things are difficult. I'm reconnecting with my faith, it disappeared for awhile which was very upsetting. I plan on making it through day by day, I will do things that help me feel better, and make myself eat, shower etc.

Sending many many

[winter loneliness]

Crappy mood. Feel stressed and irritable. Gonna smoke a joint and report back in a few.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Up with an asthma attack. I think my "cold" is influenza and while I've been doing ok with my lungs tonight I woke up wheezing. So I've had a few hits from my emergency inhaler and am doing a breathing treatment.

This sickness can go away anytime. It's been a week and I have plans. Sunday I'm supposed to go to a play with my nieces and Monday is therapist and pdoc which is a long day since pdoc is 2.5 hours each way.

Oh well. My outlook will improve when it isn't 3 AM and I'm not having to do things that agitate me. Sorry.

[Lefty Seven]

Your secret friend L7 checking in, grateful that his long-dead parents never had to see what became of their first-born son, reminding you that if you tolerate abuse, you implicitly concede that you deserve the abuse.

The King of the Khmer Empire Jayavarman VII (1181-1218
The greatest sculpture ever.
If you disagree, I will fight you.

[winter loneliness]

Reporting back. Did smoke that joint and I was floating on a blissful cloud of mental and physical pain release.

I hope everyone is feeling a bit better today. Hugs to all who have struggling right now. The hints of the coming of spring always lift my mood a bit, I hope that is the same for everyone, but that moods lift, but not too high.

Cashart, I'm glad to read that your insight into elevated moods has improved a bit these years, as well. Being able to hold on to reality more vs. psychosis is a huge triumph.

Innerzone, I wish I could I share the shrimp fajitas with you. They were yummy! Especially the mango avocado salsa. I have some leftovers.

wildflowerchild25, that's a relief that the pharmacy will finally have your medication in stock. If you're anything like me, resuming the proper dose will help quickly.

I finally completed and sent the placement test needed by the French school I wish to attend. It was a long one at seven pages. I did my best, and believe I did a respectable job considering how many years it's been since my past French studies concluded. In my email cover note, I asked that my starting level recommendation be slightly lower than the one they suggest. I would prefer to be slightly ahead of the class group than struggling to catch up. I can often have very high expectations for myself, and when I don't meet those expectations I get anxious and overwhelmed.

My French class should hopefully be during the daytime during the week. I need something to do during the daytime, as I'm home all alone then. The class will meet only once per week, but I will push myself to study on other days. This is a comparatively big addition to my weekly responsibilities, which have only been that of a housewife for quite a while.

I'm glad it's Friday. I want to clean up the house fairly well today. This Sunday, hubby and I have a concert to go to. That will be nice.

[hopeless2015]

So glad its Friday! The sun is out but supposed to cloud up, gusting winds and then storms for tomorrow. I could use a good full day of sunshine, it really does make me feel better. Anyway, things are still going ok, still working on the lamictal titrate but realized I wasn't following the directions quite right.leave it to me. duh. Seems to be ok though, no reactions so should be just fine.

Hugs to all

[Daonnachd]

This morning I have done one of two loads of laundry, cleaned both bathrooms, put away clean dishes and loaded dishwasher, and vacuumed entire house. Next I'm going to ride the stationary bike for a goodly while. I don't actually know how long. (How focused! It's only 10:00am here.)

Feeling way better today, although there's some shoulder and leg pain still. I baked some cookies and left some cookie dough to eat when I want. Hope everyone is doing well.

[Moose72]

C said today that he's noticed a difference in me since I restarted Seroquel. He says I'm more fun hypomanic.

[Merlin]

I been doing a little poorly due to unhealthy choices I made while fighting a cold. I didn’t do the self-care I need and allowed myself to do less than I was capable of, to the point where I was basically spending my days in bed. I since restarted my self-care and forced myself to go to work and study, as well as socialize, and I am feeling much better.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone and happy Friday; I think I would be more happy if I didn't have to work tomorrow but then again it's basically babysitting and I am wearing jeans tomorrow since it will be me and a few others dealing with the remodel; so I hope I can just stay in my office and check in periodically since everything is supposed to be changing tomorrow and Sunday. I am so ready to see the final product and have the Open House/Meet the Provider night. Then everything should go back to normal.

I had today off so I could be there for my Aunt, Uncle, and nieces since the youngest had the closure cath today. Everything went well and she got to go home today as well. The pitbulls are watching her and snuggling her like the good pups they are. The defect has been closed and other than needing to see a Cardiologist and have an Echo yearly she is fine and just like any normal child; kinda mad that she didn't get more days off from school and she can go back to regular activites come Monday. I am so glad she is okay.

I work tomorrow so I am in for a boring Saturday but Sunday boss is dealing with whatever doesn't get done tomorrow so I can still go to church on Sunday. I feel a little bad; M and I haven't really done a lot together this week since it has been so busy with a family issue.

Hugs to everyone

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by cashart10

This is wonderful to hear! I hope things continue looking up!

Thank you darling; how are you doing with the IOP?

[~Christina]

It’s a monsoon here since Tuesday. My driveway is gone , flooding everywhere, severe thunderstorms tomorrow. I’m. Sick. Of. It. All.

My Dogs are going through hell, it’s soaking heavy rain and they never want to go out, can’t blame them.

Sun is scheduled to come out Sunday, it better. Will continue to be stuck due to the flooded driveway.

Smh

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

It’s a monsoon here since Tuesday. My driveway is gone , flooding everywhere, severe thunderstorms tomorrow. I’m. Sick. Of. It. All.

My Dogs are going through hell, it’s soaking heavy rain and they never want to go out, can’t blame them.

Sun is scheduled to come out Sunday, it better. Will continue to be stuck due to the flooded driveway.

Smh

You and me both. I’m traveling Sunday to meet my daughter half way. So glad it won’t be raining. I’ve had enough of it as well. Sorry you’ll be stuck due to the driveway.

[pirilin]

If the devil made me do it, then God is punishing me for it.

I'll never participate again, in a party that is not organized by a church.
I swear.

Cheers.

[AspiringAuthor]

Depressed a little bit. Not clear if it is Topamax' overdoing antimanic action or things that were happening. I will try skipping Topamax tonight to see if the situation improves.

[winter loneliness]

Frustrated with Apple. I hate computer stuff.

[Wander]

Last night I did it again. Took my Seroquel at 8 pm in hope of an early night for an early start. Instead I got up and ate out most of the fridge. Sigh. Will have to take it much later and hope I can get into an early wake pattern. I woke up an 9 am today and I am aiming for 6-7 am.

Today (Saturday) has been great so far. Spent the morning at my sisters helping her make her gardens dog proof as her 9 month old puppy love eating plants. I also played with my 11 year old niece which was nice. She loves one on one time. I feel for her. She has ADHD, is bullied at school, has few friends, and has horrific nightmares. She is a beautiful girl so its so sad to see her suffer.

This afternoon I am just going to chill. I have been so busy lately I need a day off. Considering I have Fibromyalgia I am doing well considering how busy I have been for over two weeks. My psychiatrist prescribed me an enzyme for that and brain function. It amazing seems to be working. I am still in pain, but not as much, and my recovery times are much faster. Emotionally I seem calmer but still upset and a bit irritable. Hopefully the rest will help.