Dancing

My t asked what I did last night. I told her a combination of surfing the web, pacing, and, mostly, dancing. I was too wrapped up in my head to do much more than that anyway. She thought that was funny. I ****ing love to dance when I am manic (I also swear about 95% more, ha)! I just get so lost in music. My husband says I always listen to Ani Difranco when I’m manic and that it is also the only time I listen to her, lol. Anyone else love to dance while manic? How do you spend your energy if you aren’t psychotic?

Yes, and I currently have no keys, no credit cards, and not much space. Sometimes it feels like I’m being smothered when I’m not well.

Here is another song whose music describes my mood.

Ani Difranco - How Have You Been?

Oh and writing! I wrote a lot last night too! I overloaded my t today. I think this may have been the first time she has ever seen me really manic because I’ve only been seeing her a couple of years. Of course, I really love her!

Like I really love her! I think she is amazing! I wish I could hang out with her right now instead of my husband (who is actually downstairs.).

I use to there are times when I would dance in the center sprinkling system when it rained.

Haha...I love it! I have pulled my car over to dance in the rain. One of my favorite things to do...when it’s warm enough, of course!

Now I am posting just to post. Just because I have so much to let out and I feel like no where to do it. I’m taking another 100 MG of Seroquel and we went back to the klonapin (if I didn’t already tell you guys that) so perhaps I will sleep. Sorry if you see a lot from me tonight. I’ll try to keep it contained to this post.

I write like crazy when manic, too

Of course I love to dance when I'm well and manic. I am the "BirdDancer". I can dance to almost anything. I love to dance so much, that I can dance to the sound of the rain, and definitely to the sound of the thunder. As the flag rope hits the metal pole in the wind, I hear music. Even if my body doesn't move, my mind does. My mind and body dance. They dance in many ways, including as my fingers hit the keyboard running, skipping, stomping, swaying, and doing piroettes. I've written a lot about dancing in my blog.

I love to do this. I get really really antsy occasionaly and dancing helps. Its harmless and that is good- cant really get into any trouble as long as you are careful about potential injuries (from experience). Its between dancing and pacing for me sometimes too. And I much prefer dancing to pacing.

So I relate to this so strongly. Everyone else thinks its weird but it gets to the point where I HAVE to move otherwise I start getting a little agitated. Its like something inside of me is being shocked awake and if I dont move then I just sit around feeling really anxious.

But yes. Dancing is good. Its harmless.

And haha yeah. I also write a lot when manic/hypomanic. Can fill entire journals because I DONT sleep.

When Im psychotic. Who the hell knows what Im doing. Im always moving but somehow never hardly accomplishing anything. I over spend. I drive to random cities. I sit around and try to soothe myself with little mindfullness activities anything to sort of distract from thoughrs that I know are... kinda off.