[MsSunflower]

So I was diagnosed about 3 years ago but other that books or articles I've read online I don't have anything but my own experiences. Talking to you guys has been so helpful because I don't have any family or friends who are bipolar. I recently read about mixed episodes and it sounds like something I have experienced before and actually pretty recently as well. Would anyone mind sharing how they experience a mixed episode? How long does it last? What does it feel like? Is there anything that helps you get through it? Anything you can share would be helpful.

[Nola0250]

Mixed is hell. I’ve had 2 mixed episodes. One of them went on for months. At its mildest, I would describe it as emotional indigestion. I never imagined how many emotional states can coexist simultaneously in one persons mind. Extremely uncomfortable. At its worst, I wanted to run screaming across my house and through my living room window to make it stop. I settled for banging my head against the floor to make the thoughts stop. Thankfully medication pulled me out of it before I needed to be hospitalized but it was a near thing. I got lucky and meds worked fast.

[MsSunflower]

Originally Posted by Nola0250

Mixed is hell. I’ve had 2 mixed episodes. One of them went on for months. At its mildest, I would describe it as emotional indigestion. I never imagined how many emotional states can coexist simultaneously in one persons mind. Extremely uncomfortable. At its worst, I wanted to run screaming across my house and through my living room window to make it stop. I settled for banging my head against the floor to make the thoughts stop. Thankfully medication pulled me out of it before I needed to be hospitalized but it was a near thing. I got lucky and meds worked fast.

I'm so sorry you went through that Nola I didn't know they could go on that long. Luckily that hasn't happened to me yet. I definitely relate to feeling extremely uncomfortable. I know for myself I had a feeling of just wanting to scream all the time too.

[Wander]

My main type of episode is mixed so I have been through it many, many times. Feeling up and down at the exact same time is hell. When it really amps up I experience severe agitation, racing thoughts, rapid speech, irritability, rage, deep depression, and intense suicidal ideation that is constant. Basically, I need to be hospitalised on most occasions to stay safe and get some stability.

Unfortunately, mixed states are often misdiagnosed so not treated. On top of that they are hard to treat. Right now I’m three months stable after years of almost constant mixed episodes (some mild). First I was misdiagnosed for years then it took a while to find stability with the right meds.

I’m sorry you are in this place. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

[MsSunflower]

Originally Posted by Wander

My main type of episode is mixed so I have been through it many, many times. Feeling up and down at the exact same time is hell. When it really amps up I experience severe agitation, racing thoughts, rapid speech, irritability, rage, deep depression, and intense suicidal ideation that is constant. Basically, I need to be hospitalised on most occasions to stay safe and get some stability.

Unfortunately, mixed states are often misdiagnosed so not treated. On top of that they are hard to treat. Right now I’m three months stable after years of almost constant mixed episodes (some mild). First I was misdiagnosed for years then it took a while to find stability with the right meds.

I’m sorry you are in this place. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Thanks for your reply. Again, sorry you've been through that For myself I experience a lot of depression and occasional hypomania. More and more the hypomania has been turning into something else. What you described is very relatable however the longest these episodes have lasted for me has been two weeks. Which has been horrible but short lived enough that I can ride it out with the help of my family and doctors. I've been so close to going to the hospital a few times. I can't imagine what you have been through. I hope you keep stable.

[lacerta]

My mixed episodes are the worst from all the episodes. I feel depressed but at the same time I have a lot of energy, I get kinda agressive, I'm getting into arguments with people (I'm usually shy and try not to get into conflicts). I can go from laughter to crying in minutes. A lot of obcessive thoughts. Sometimes also absurd business ideas like in mania, but not so permanent. Tendency to blame everyone else around me. They last for different amount of times maybe 2-6 weeks. I add up mood stabiliser and something to calm. I walk a lot to get the frustration out. I'm blocking myself from family because I'm so easily irritated. Seek help with you pdoc.

[Jedi67]

Originally Posted by MsSunflower

So I was diagnosed about 3 years ago but other that books or articles I've read online I don't have anything but my own experiences. Talking to you guys has been so helpful because I don't have any family or friends who are bipolar. I recently read about mixed episodes and it sounds like something I have experienced before and actually pretty recently as well. Would anyone mind sharing how they experience a mixed episode? How long does it last? What does it feel like? Is there anything that helps you get through it? Anything you can share would be helpful.

I just recently got over a mixed episode and it lasted two weeks. they are very rough. mood swings, mania, depression and anxiety all rolled into one, I had to see my pdoc last monday for med changes. he believed the remeron may have caused it. but the friday before I freaked my T out. he had never seen me hypomanic before and I told him that I was tired, exhausted (my heart was beating a mile a minute and I was sweating like a bull dog) but so elevated and agitated all at the same time. it was pretty bad. he immediately went to get my pdoc.

for me a mixed ep is a roller-coaster, to used a cliched term. highs and lows seem to be un-predictable for me. at one point I'm ready to hop into my truck and drive aimlessly around the city blaring my music and making bad choices, then at another point, I want to crawl under a rock with an overwhelming sadness. it can be quite different for each person but it all seems to encompass the mania and depression for sure.

I had to seriously put a crisis plan into action. meditation, reading, cycling, family support, forums, podcasts, coloring etc etc. all of it helps a little. doing mindfulness and using coping skills helps a lot for me. even watching comfort movies and drinking tea helped. my wife had to take away my truck keys and credit card during this last ep. all of this my T had put into place for me with the help of my family. I'm about 3 days over the mixed state and coming down after the med changes. ambien for sleep and an increase in geodon. use that mindfulness, and take advantage of any and all of your coping skills. hope that helped a bit. all the best!

[MsSunflower]

Thank you everyone for sharing you stories. I'm sad anyone of us has to go through this but it's nice to know what I've been going through has a name and that I'm not alone. And thank you Jedi67 for sharing some of your ideas for coping. I'm actually starting some support groups next week and one of them will focus on creating a crisis plan.

[Jedi67]

Originally Posted by MsSunflower

Thank you everyone for sharing you stories. I'm sad anyone of us has to go through this but it's nice to know what I've been going through has a name and that I'm not alone. And thank you Jedi67 for sharing some of your ideas for coping. I'm actually starting some support groups next week and one of them will focus on creating a crisis plan.

entirely my pleasure! best of luck moving forward with your support groups. keep us posted!