Anger and consequences?

I have BP1 disorder and have always struggled with anger and always feel bad after I settle down and most always apologize. I’m 6 months into my second marriage and I got really sick with a colon infection. This caused rapid weight loss and dehydration which led to lithium toxicity. I will finally be able to get blood work done next week seeing as I can ride briefly in the car now. Yesterday I was in a lot of pain and my husband came in and announced something stupid that caused my blood to boil. I started an argument that ended with me yelling at him. I told him to leave me alone and he wouldn’t so I tried to push him out of the way to leave the room and he was holding me there. That’s the first time of my 36 years on this earth that anyone has ever hit me, ever. I don’t know what to think, I have been an emotional disaster these last 3 months with this infection and haven’t been very nice to anyone. I guess it was justified?

I'm not sure what you are referring to as being justified. There is no excuse for physical violence on either party's part. Can you both get into counselling?

That's terrible, Callie54! Things must be REALLY HARD for you two! I COMPLETELY agree with what tecomsin has already wisely said better than I ever could! Physical violence is NEVER justifiable and I'm so sorry that you were hit! I completely agree with tecomins that perhaps couple counselling may be the best option for you two! Does this happen frequently or was this an isolated episode? Either way, if you're BOTH struggling so much it is definitely time to work on it! How is your marriage going otherwise? Are things good between you two? Have you considered ending the marriage if things keep escalating? I'd DEFINITELY suggest to talk to him about ALL OF THIS and see how it goes from there! Hopefully he'll listen to what you have to say and understand you! Most importantly, PLEASE take GREAT care of yourself! Keep working on yourself like you're already WONDERFULLY doing! It IS hard to keep a marriage together when you're already struggling SO MUCH by yourself! Keep trying though! Let us know how things are going for you! WE DO CARE ABOUT YOU! I PROMISE YOU ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! WISH YOU GOOD LUCK! Let us know hwo things are gong for you! WE DO CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! Sending many kind, safe, sweet, warm and WONDERFUL hugs to you, Callie54, JUST LIKE YOU ARE!

There is never a reason for violence in any relationship. Couples counseling should be considered

If you struggle with anger you might want to look into DBT therapy it can be very helpful.

I hope something can be done so physically you can be on the mend so you can focus on your mental health.

I had anger issues and divorced my husband shortly after it went physical....our marriage had been dead for years at that point. I strongly suggest you try something besides lithium for your bipolar...I found that once I was on Geodon my bp anger was just POOF gone, so I beleive that taking the right meds goes a long way.

I do not think it was justified for either of your to hit each other.

I hope that you will both agree to never hit each other again. That's a bad thing to start. Please let that be the last of that.

I'm sorry you have been so unwell. I wish your husband was more supportive, but stress sometimes breeds stress in others. I agree that some counselor or therapist could be helpful in managing the stress you both feel and to plan steps forward.

I agree with the others that counseling is needed. Optimally, a bipolar person would be with a partner that would recognize the symptoms and help to diffuse a situation like this. Instead, your husband escalated it. Does he understand your diagnosis? It would be helpful for him to learn how it manifests so he can tell the difference between your normal actions and those precipitated by your disease. Maybe he would then find it easier to walk away or even help you recognize when you need help.

When i get angry i always tell myself that if i just last it out in five minutes i can walk away and forget about it. But i i give into it and lash out i will spend hours or days suffering the consequences.

I used to play out what I could've said and what they would've said, endlessly after a disagreement. I don't do that now. It only serves to punish me more. I am my worst enemy, you know?

I appreciate everyone answering and sending suggestions. I have bloodwork from my pdoc and an appointment mid June. He did say that I would be switching from lithium to something else. As far as my husband goes, I will have to worry about him later, I have just been trying to ignore him. I saw a physical therapist yesterday and was told some of my muscles have almost completely atrophied so I need to focus on that right now. Getting meds back on track for mental health and getting walking again for physical health is exhausting but I am woman, hear me roar! Feeling sorry for myself is not going to help this or any situation. I appreciate you all!!! You are wonderful people!!!