[pacman_789]

All, what do you do during a manic episode? Do you have any tips for resisting impulses? I'm in between meds right now, so it's challenging.

Thanks

[Jedi67]

Originally Posted by pacman_789

All, what do you do during a manic episode? Do you have any tips for resisting impulses? I'm in between meds right now, so it's challenging.

Thanks

I try to do some mindfulness if the mania isn't too far gone. I try and gather my thoughts and take stock in what I'm feeling. I hand over my wallet to my wife, hand over car keys and try to remain calm. try reaching out to a support team if you have one in place. also, plan ahead if you think you will eventually become manic. try avoiding triggers. what sets you off? try identifying those things. I find that if I can start a project to do around the house, then at least I'm home and not driving aimlessly around the city looking for trouble. I can expel energy doing that.

don't drink or do drugs. even in the throes of mania, we throw so much of our tools out off the window and we forget our coping skills. we even deny that we are manic all together. also, avoid getting hypersexual. I'd rather watch porn than to go out and have a one night stand. (eww, gross, I know). remember to eat, don't skip meals and seek help. a friend, PDOc or a T. they can help. be strong and stay strong warrior! sending best wishes your way. hang in there!

[pacman_789]

Thanks, that helps. I can definitely relate - I’ve been in denial that I even have a medical problem this week because I feel on top of the world. Hyper sexuality is a major problem for me when I’m manic. Thankfully, I’ve never done anything outside of my marriage, but I am guilty of online binging.

This may be better as a separate post, but what is your advice on confessing things you did while manic to your spouse? When I come back down to earth, I feel a lot of remorse and guilt and want to have some accountability (e.g., put some kind of internet filter that my wife has the password to so that I won’t engage in this behavior when manic). But to do that, I would have to confess, and I don’t know that she could handle it or would understand. She might think I just don’t love her anymore.

Thanks,

Pacman

[MickeyCheeky]

@Jedi67 has some EXCELLENT Advice for you, @pacman_789! As for Confessing, it's hard but I feel like that may be the best thing to do. She's aware of the fact that you have Bipolar, right? That should clarify thing and perhaps you can even bring her to one fo your Doctor's appointments if she isn't convinced. Having a professional there with her would help clarify thing to her, reassure her, make her feel like she's not alone and provide a better understanding of what her Role is in ALL of this. Bipolar is hard and unfortunately can affect our Loved Ones as well But it's not your fault of course! Please just keep working on it, do what you can, reassure your wife that things are going to be Ok and that you still Love her pretty much. I'm so sorry I can't do more to help you! Feel free to PM me anytime when you need help! Others will gladly help you as well! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you AND your Wife, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING!

[fern46]

Does your wife understand bipolar disorder? It might help to start there. Mickey's suggestion to take her to an appointment is a great one. Seeing a therapist together can also help. Additionally, I read a good book that has sections specifically designed to assist family members. It is called 'Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder'. It helped me learn more and also helped me learn how to work with family and friends. Likewise, it was a good resource for family and friends to learn on their own.

I think anything you might have to share about your behavior could be helped by her knowing how bipolar affects the brain and why it is not easy for you to control the behavior. It might be helpful for her to understand that altered sexual behavior is a common symptom of mania and that you're not using mania as an excuse to engage in behavior that dishonors your marriage.

I think it is great you are coonsidering telling her and asking her to help support you to hopefully keep you from doing things you wouldn't want to otherwise. I have a family member who had episodes and I desperately wanted her to share with me what was going on and to tell me how I could help. She shut me out completely and we did not speak for a long time. She made no apologies for her behavior and didn't take steps to manage it. I felt helpless. I decided when I got sick that I would include my husband in creating the strategies to manage my issues as well as making him a part of the plan. I think that helped him to accept my illness, but also made him feel less helpless.

You can do this, and I'm wishing you all the best.

[Jedi67]

Originally Posted by pacman_789

Thanks, that helps. I can definitely relate - I’ve been in denial that I even have a medical problem this week because I feel on top of the world. Hyper sexuality is a major problem for me when I’m manic. Thankfully, I’ve never done anything outside of my marriage, but I am guilty of online binging.

This may be better as a separate post, but what is your advice on confessing things you did while manic to your spouse? When I come back down to earth, I feel a lot of remorse and guilt and want to have some accountability (e.g., put some kind of internet filter that my wife has the password to so that I won’t engage in this behavior when manic). But to do that, I would have to confess, and I don’t know that she could handle it or would understand. She might think I just don’t love her anymore.

Thanks,

Pacman

Well. Pacman, in my case, I had my wife come with my to see my T and my PDoc so she can understand and witness first hand the things I go through when manic and hypersexual. Unfortunately, it all came to a head and I was eventually caught engaging in these behaviors, but my wife knew I was sick and was very understanding. It out a huge strain on our marriage and she was very hurt. She came to my appointments with me and got a better grasp of my mental health illness, especially the mania and the lack of inhibitions that come along with it.

I had a bad porn addiction at one point and she approached me about it. we once again went to therapy and discussed other options to engaging in that online behavior. maybe being as honest as you can may surprise you. she may just need to hear the truth from you and it will set you free. I know it sounds cliche but wives appreciate it when husbands come forth about weaknesses that they have. she may be very understanding about it all especially if she know about your diagnosis. There is nothing wrong with having accountability. perhaps that is what she needs to see and hear from you at this point.

hope some of this helps! wishing you the all best! sending best wishes and keep us posted. keep reaching out here!

[pacman_789]

Thanks, all, for your advice. Definitely gives me something to think about. The only thing that makes this kind of tricky is that I also have OCD, and there was a time in the past when I was dealing with unwanted thoughts and confessing all of them to my wife. It hurt her deeply, even though most of them were not my fault but due to my illness. Granted, I had struggled with these sexual issues in the past, so I don’t blame it all on the OCD. Anyway, she forgave me for the things I was responsible for and began to understand OCD and that the thoughts were not my own or my desire.

It was after going through those hard times that I started to have problems with mania, then was put on antidepressant for the OCD, which only made the mania worse. Now, I have the right diagnosis and have started to feel real remorse over my actions during those episodes. But because of all that history, I don’t want to put her through that pain again (even though I think she will be more understanding this time). I feel like we went through unnecessary pain for a lot of things that weren’t real, including a lot of false guilt, so it’s like I think I’m entitled to a pass on this one to make up for that.

Sorry for the long post, and thanks again for your candid responses. I’ll definitely consider it some more and pray about it.