What should I do to alleviate this anxiety?

Thanks for all of your support and wise advice

I have therapy in about 15 minutes and I’m nervous as helllllll. I’m sitting in the parking lot right now.

Part of me is nervous because I don’t see her car here (I guess maybe her husband dropped her off? I’m not sure... but I’m scared that maybe she’s not here! Like because of a family emergency... and THEN what am I going to do???). Another part of me is nervous because I don’t know what she’s going to say or do. And another part of me is nervous because I sense the dark energy and am concerned that someone has stalked me all the way to the therapy office.

I’m trying to relax and take deep breaths, telling myself that no way is someone following me, but it’s really not helping. My heart is racing fast and every little sound or movement makes me jump.

Wish me luck.

Hi Blue,

Maybe try at least getting your anxiety treated?

As I have explained, panic/anxiety becomes self-perpetuating. The more episodes you have had, the more you are apt to have. It's similar/the same as "kindling." The pattern needs to be stopped/interrupted.

I hope your appointment goes well.
Much Love ~

Hi Nevuary,

Welcome to PC.

I hope you find the information and the support you may be seeking.
So glad you have jumped in and have joined us!

My Best to You!

Good luck Blue. For me it wasn't as bad as I think it'll be.

I told my therapist about my concern of being watched by other people, not trusting what people are going to do to me. I also told her about how I can sense a supernatural presence around me, and that I feel its dark energy flowing through my veins. I asked her for advice on how to handle the anxiety.

She says I am psychotic and experiencing "severe paranoia." She said that increasing my Zoloft or re-adding klonopin to my cocktail will treat some of the anxiety that stems from the paranoia, but that antipsychotics are needed to treat the paranoia itself and that the anxiety won't go away until the paranoia goes away.

She mentioned the word "hospital" as well. F_CK NO. She implied that I am headed down a path that may end up with me in the hospital.

She wants me to take an antipsychotic and says not to focus so much on the long-term effects because in the short-term, I am not functioning well and the short-term "is just as important." She also basically said (like, she didn't LITERALLY say this to me, but this is the general idea) that I'm wrecking my life right now and that I should focus on piecing together the present.

Hi Blue, Can you get in touch with your pdoc ASAP? I say ASAP because it is a weekend and you may need a medication over the weekend.It is best to have it on hand in case you decide to take it. I would not increase the Zoloft without specific instructions/guidance from your pdoc. Sometimes, ADs can be a recipe for disaster for people with BP,especially with BPI. Please be very careful, as it is possible you could end up in the hospital. Do everything you can to stay out of the hospital. Stay safe. If you need to go to the hospital, please do go. Please do call your pdoc now.

We are here for you!
MuchLove ~

I'm just going to give up and take the f***ing rexulti since they're going to force me into the f***ing hospital if I don't.

WC: she wanted me to set up an appt with my pdoc (I forgot to mention that), but f*** that s***. I am NOT f***ing talking to him. The only thing he did was try to convince me that I'm going to be come mentally retarded if I don't take it, and quite honestly, I don't buy that f***ing argument. I think it's a load of b*llsh*t.

Oh, and I'm supposed to meet with my therapist again next Friday, at her request.

I came close to having a panic attack in the waiting room because the dark energy was consuming me, and any one of the "patients" there could have been hostile. I trust NO ONE in there. They are all the same... they are untrustworthy.

Hi Blue,

Do you have any Klonopin on hand to help you with this high anxiety, at least until the Rexulti kicks in?

Will you spend time with your parents this weekend?
Does spending time with them help or does it make things worse?

When will you start the Rexulti?

I am concerned about you, of course. At the same time, I have faith in your ability to handle this, as you have done so many times..

Yet, PLEASE DO let us k now if we can help in any way.

I care very much a bout you and want to see you as healthy and as happy as possible. Let me know if I can help?

Much Love~

Blue, my old pdoc had a conversation with me about my quality of life. If they're requiring you to be on an AP (mine does too) See if you can do injections, if you can trust them enough. Don't get to the point that hospitalization is required. Find a pdoc that you can talk to.

Please stay safe, blue... your health and safety is the priority! Allow yourself to get the help you need. I'm so sorry things are being SO HARD for you, you don't deserve to suffer AT ALL! I hope you'll be able to get help and that things will take better. As always, I'm here for you if you want to PM me and I'm sure many others will be available as well. Just focus on yourself and your own safety for now, ok? We care and you know that as well! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, bluebicycle, Your Family, Your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones!