Bipolar check in #37

Welcome to PC. I am pretty new here myself and I can tell you firsthand there is no judgment here on PC. We are all the same in many ways and deal with a lot of the same issues. This is a great place to socialize and get to know folks. At first when I started posting I felt the same way, but I gave it some time and found that folks here are accepting and very easy to talk to.

Well assuming anyone did judge it is judgment by an internet stranger you don't have to ever see. That's pretty low risk

BipolarWolf is right though. This is a welcoming and non-judgmental environment. We've pretty much heard it all.

Welcome, and I hope you stick around!

That's really good to hear. The people I have in my life can't relate although they try. It makes it difficult for them to understand why I do the things I do. Honestly, even though I have a family, I feel very lonely and like an outsider. So far everyone on here has been very nice so I will continue to keep posting and participating in discussions.

Feeling a lot better today compared to the rest of this week. Not as depressed etc.. Seems that the rexulti increase has been helping a lot.

I told my therapist about my idiot pdoc though. She seemed like she was trying to hold back her shock and disgust. She had a "wtf" look on her face and said she disagreed with his "assessment." (For those who don't know what he said, he said that suddenly going from 10 hrs of sleep a night to 2 hrs of sleep a night and not feeling tired on minimal sleep was a "natural" part of sleep cycle changes. He said "it happens to everyone." Then of course his assistant told me, when I was manic, to take Benadryl to sleep because "it's just anxiety and nothing to worry about." Not to mention she doesn't even have a license to give medical advice. And then of course my pdoc tried to cover his @ss for that nonsense.)

Anyway, not planning on seeing this idiot pdoc again!! I need a new one and I am currently looking for new ones in the same office. I think I may have settled on one, but I have to see if he has any openings.

Welcome De Luca!

I third what BipolarWolf and fern46 wrote. We think you'll find Psych Central to have a great group of people who are here to support each other, and not judge. Honestly, I've found it to be the "safest" and most welcoming bipolar forum I've ever visited.

I won't say there isn't an occasional person who is perhaps struggling with the disorder and shows irritability, but that's not frequent. My point is that we understand and have all been there. We've all been at the receiving end of judgement, so know how that can hurt. There is also a recent thread on the board labeled Do you find anything positive about bipolar disorder? Though responses vary, you'll see many where people wrote that it helped them become a more compassionate and understanding person.

We are happy you have joined us, De Luca! If ever you feel judged at PC, please contact me or any of the members here that you feel comfortable contacting.

BirdDancer

I've got a headache today. It's sinus-related. It's not horrible, but it is annoying. I think it's stopped me from being as productive as I planned to be.

My husband brought home 14 tomatoes (plus a box of yellow mini ones), 8 red peppers, and 3 eggplants from the farmer's stand yesterday. Then last night, he asked me if I wanted him to bring even more today. I'm getting a little overwhelmed by this produce. We're heading out for a vacation in a couple days. It's not like I can just start making a bunch of chili sauce and canning it before we go. Then he said "Well you can bring it with us." Yea, as if I have my whole pantry packed. Anyway, I decided to make a bunch of stuffed tomatoes for dinner tonight. That leaves 6 more tomatoes to use.

I look forward to having the time with hubby. These past few weeks have taken a lot out of me. I'm not tired, but am stressed. I have almost a stressed kind of energy/anxiety brewing. It's shown in other ways, too. I have had little binge eating sessions, a few pimples have shown up on my face after being perfectly clear for a long time, and something else I won't mention.

I am still very eager to work on my Czech Christmas Cookie blog post. However, my husband is holding it up. I almost think that he's been doing so deliberately. I need two things from him, but he won't give them to me. I've bugged him to no avail.

Nice job!
You have been through a lot and you are handling it all very well.

I hope you can find a very compatible pdoc soon.
As always, I am here for you. Let me now if /when I can help in any way!

Much Love, Blue!

I am sorry you have not been feeling well today. I am having a lot of sinus stuff lately, too. I leave the windows open all night with the fan blowing and I pull in pollen and wood smoke. Someone in the neighborhood heats with wood. It fills the neighborhood and other homes with heavy smoke. The lung infiltrates from wood smoke (and from trash) are large and stay in the lungs a very long time. I just cannot keep the window closed. I need some air, even i fit is polluted.

The stuffed tomatoes sound great! I have not thought of those in ages. I might just make some soon! What do you stuff them with?

Sorry hubby is holding out on you. Maybe he will have more time when on this vacation, or is this a working vacation for him?

I am so looking forward to your Christmas Cookie Blog Post(s).!

EnJOY your vacation!

Sounds like me before I was diagnosed. At least you caught it before it got worse.

Last night I had to take extra haldol. It made me spacey/dizzy- walking funny to the bathroom and back. But, in bed I was ok, just spacey.

Today, I called my pdoc's office. Talked with someone about this- the episodes getting worse- and she said to take 4 mg if I wanted. They are having someone call to check up on me over the weekend.

I laid in bed all afternoon because I was somewhat depressed

HI! It looks like a few members have responded, trying to help you to feel more comfortable here.

When I was new here, I was a bit intimidated. I'd felt intimidated by a few people who have turned out to be truly wonderful people. My reticence had more to do with me than with them.

I was also concerned that my posts were not up to par and did not fit in with the exchanges, etc. I thought I would bring every thread off topic, etc. In time, people gave me feedback which helped me to share more openly.

I hope you will stay and will allow yourself time to get more comfortable here.
This is a safe place for the most part. Once in awhile, someone has a hard time and "goes off the rails." If so , this is handled well by the moderators. Feel free to contact a moderator at anytime. We are all here for you, too.

Sorry you are feeling so low.
Did resting on your bed help?
I hope you feel better soon.

Ugh, I'm in the ER. I hate ERs. I took mum in to the clinic for her Mamogram and the war fin blood clinic. The rash she has under her breast has spread and has no skin on it so they wouldn't do the Mamogram and scheduled her at the same day clinic for 5 pm. But then at the blood clinic her blood was very high, indicating an infection. They told her to go to the walk in clinic now,...they said they can't see her till 5 to go to the ER. So here we are in my least favorite place. Ugh, germs! There is a kid here, 4-5 but he's sleeping thank goodness. There's a group of 5 that seem to be having a coffee clutch and the mum with her kid. Pretty quiet for now. There was a construction worker with ice around his ankle, they took him back tho. As far as ERs go this one isn't bad but still. I'd rather go home and come back to the same day clinic at 5. But mum choose the ER, it's gonna be a wait. Some guy was wheeled in and went straight back. Fun times!

Thank you

Yeah it helped somewhat, I think I needed to slow down anyway. Sometimes it's good to just let yourself feel whatever it is your feeling. Normally I avoid and distract myself whenever I have negative feelings. That's good and all but I can't avoid negative feelings forever. Sometimes they happen and that's okay.

I'm struggling with my agoraphobic tendencies as well lately, so I need to work on that.

I am having a bit of a rough day today. I had left my dose of Seroquel at the lower dose. It was the second night of this low dose. I woke up this morning feeling like my brain was out of commission. Every thing was difficult. Noises were LOUD and overwhelming. Lights, too. I am on edge. I cannot recall information very well. I feel off balance in every way.

I had to cancel my day. I am unsure as to the exact cause of my status today. It is likely multi-factorial, in truth.
I had slept fitfully. I keep having ongoing nightmares about an "intruder."

I am feeling like I am right on the edge of having a migraine. In fact, I feel I have been having a "silent" migraine for most of the day.
How many of today's symptoms are due to the Seroquel taper, I just do not know.

The compressed nerve in my spine is still very painful.I missed an appointment for PT for this issue today. I am so light-headed I cannot drive safely today.
I was able to reschedule for Monday, thankfully.

I hope everyone finds something to celebrate this weekend!
Much Love ~

Good for you!
You make an important point. I do think we are so into distraction sometimes,that we forget to allow ourselves to feel, and to process, our feelings.

As you have pointed out, it is not healthy to avoid, avoid, avoid.

I find the more I stay home, the more challenging it can be to get out. It can quietly increase and then when trying to go out, I suddenly find I am more challenged than I had thought. I generally work through it and feel very lucky that I have been able to do so. It can be paralyzing for people.

Are you usually able to work your way through it? Do you have any special tricks for getting through it?

I admire your insight and your strength for facing your feelings today!

Thanks for the welcome from everyone. I certainly expect someone to occasionally not be nice, this is the internet and I can deal with that. The judgement thing is rooted in my social anxiety and things I was told as a child by parents who didn't understand what was going on with me. it's a very irrational fear. I even know it's irrational but I still get it. Hopefully as I post more that will go away on here at least.

I posted on the other thread you mentioned. The responses are an interesting read. For me, I do know that my creativity is because of BP so I posted about that.

Good news is I don't feel judged so far, you and everyone's responses has helped ease my anxiety a bit as I make my first posts as a newbie. It's nice to be able to talk about this stuff openly with people who actually understand what you mean.

Sometimes I'm able to work through it. Tomorrow I'm going to church which is very difficult for me and I haven't been in a long time, but I think I can do it. A lot of times what helps me when I'm out is to be mindful of things I see like trees, flowers, noticing details. Sometimes I distract myself by going through a list in my head of the different things I need to do during the week. I'm really going to make an effort to get better at it

The key to getting into the actual ER immediately is to complain of shortness of breath, etc. Breathing is very important.

I had never gotten in so fast as when the EMTs thought I was having a heart attack. Rushed in and a lot of staff right there waiting for me. It was good to know they were ready if I was having a heart attack. Turns out I wasn't.

It must be a bit disconcerting for your mom to have such a rash and for her labs to indicate an infection.

Yes, I have concerns about super germs in the ER and in other areas of any hospital, too!

Offering vibes of love and support.
I hope your mom is okay. I hope you both do not have to wait too long for assistance and to get things done1

Please let us know how you and how your mom are doing?

I'm sorry to read that you've had sinus issues lately, too. Mine is getting worse by the hour. I almost feel upset to my stomach.

There are all kinds of things you can stuff tomatoes with. My usuals are either spinach with egg and onions/mushrooms/cheese, or a mushroom/onion/cheese bread herb type, or even a simple bread/onion/herb and tomato insides type topped with some cheese. I've heard of people even stuffing them with meats. I've never tried that type, though.

I really love tomatoes, but hubby goes overboard.

I hope it goes well at church.

The mindfulness is a great idea!
It is akin to a "walking meditation." I have seen a study in which this type of walking mindfully, or a walking meditation, can help to regulate mood. I wish I could recall where I saw the study. If I recall, I will post it here.

It is supposed to be so helpful, the staff at my pdoc's office built a path through the woodlands bordering the office building. Anyone is welcomed to walk there anytime and/or before/after appointments, too. The "out in nature" element is supposed to be most helpful. So many helpful approaches are activities we would be doing daily if we were not so caught up in the more modern lifestyles. Just makes sense.

Thanks for sharing so much! Very helpful!

Oh, no! I am sorry you are feeling worse.
Sounds like you might have a sinus infection?

I have been "snorting" a saline solution. I get it at the local pharmacy. It comes in a squeeze bottle. If this does not work, I use a Netipot. I should just use the Netipot first and get it done!

I find these approaches help me to avoid needing nasal sprays with cortisone in them. Cortisone so not good for us,especially if we have other choices. Cortisone can also alter mood(s).

Have you ever tried the saline spray or Netipots?

Thanks for the ideas for stuffing tomatoes. My grandmother used to stuff tomatoes with tuna and onions, then chill them. They were great in the summer.

I so hope you feel better soon and do not have a sinus infection!

Hey bluebird, didn’t see you on s and p today so I went to check on you. That sounds reasonable, you can’t always escape negative feelings. Sorry about the agoraphobia too.

At home. They gave mum a poweder and an antibiotic that won't interfere with her blood clotting meds. Hope it's effective. Got home at 4 and my sister was here. She brought the drapes back. There's nobody in town that does drapes anymore, there's not a single cleaner in town. No fix it shops either. . My sister has a drum washer without that middle agitation pillor. They came out nice. Have to take mum back on Monday for the blood clinic so they can check that the meds aren't interacting.