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#51
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Update guy has cancelled I was due to see him in 12 hours. I'm massively gutted and feel let down. Sad times.
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![]() Anonymous45023, bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#52
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Hi Miss Laura, I am sorry you are disappointed,
![]() I think you'd feel much better about life and relationships if you'd get involved in other interests . You can derive some self-esteem from your involvement in other activities. ![]() You will likely make some friends and won't be so laone and so let down when some stranger does not show up. When you feel better about yourself, you won't need to get a boost in your self-esteem from people you do not know. You will feel so much better about yourself, you will learn to set more boundaries with strangers and with anyone who is not good for you! I hope you will find something healthy to do with your time, since the gentleman is not showing up. Concerned about you! ![]()
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() bizi
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![]() Miss Laura, ~Christina
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#53
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Miss Laura please do keep posting!
Is there any way of talking you out of meeting that guy tomorrow? EDIT just saw you are not. Good, I’m glad you have some more time to get stable and then if you want you can meet him on your own stable terms and not when your judgement might be limited. I know you’re disappointed but I think it’s a good thing. |
![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Miss Laura, Wild Coyote
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#54
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Laura, how are you today ?
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Miss Laura, Wild Coyote
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#55
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Hey Christina,
Another guy was meant to come over yesterday afternoon. But a friend my nurse friend persuaded me not to meet with him. I met my nurse friend and she says she's been concerned about me. She was saying she might need to tell someone if she thinks I'm not safe. But I think I hope I have managed to tell her I'm fine. I know its wrong but I want that guy to come over despite having no connection with him. I'm seeing my worker in 5 hours so hopefully I can tell her |
![]() Anonymous45023, bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#56
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i Hope you are starting to feel more grounded and that your worker can help you! When I get like this the best thing for me is more meds.
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![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Miss Laura, Wild Coyote
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#57
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Saw my worker she says I was notably manic. Talking really fast. I never notice it. Told me to call my CPN. As a med tweek might be needed. So awaiting on her calling me back to tell her everything. My worker is gonna tell my CPN when she gets back to the office
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![]() Anonymous45023, bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#58
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That's good news. I hope you're feeling ok enough to accept it and take the next step. You've been experiencing symptoms of mania for several days now, so maybe a med tweak is exactly what you need. Thanks for keeping us posted. We're all hoping good things for you!
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![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Miss Laura, Wild Coyote
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#59
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Great news, Laura!
![]()
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() bizi
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![]() Miss Laura
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#60
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I'm still waiting on my CPN calling me. I've called today already to leave message as she wasn't in the office. My counsellor says I'm in danger and is concerned she was wanting to phone my CPN but I said I would call which I did. But still nothing. My friend says maybe I need to check into the hospital but I've never been to hospital ever so I'm quite unsure about it
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![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, bizi
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#61
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Quote:
Wishing you safety and best wishes ![]() |
![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote, yellow_fleurs
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#62
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the hospital isn't that bad really u get food and lots of attention.
ive been 8 times but havnt been for 2 years knock on wood.
__________________
Dx: BP1 + Substance Abuse Rx: Lamictal 400, Vraylar 6, Seroquel 50 (PRN) |
![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#63
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I went for the first time last year. It scared me at first, but I made friends quickly and got a lot out of therapy. I spent time in the schizophrenic wing and a women's trauma group. Both were interesting and had a lot to offer. The hospital gave me a safe space to come back to reality and get well enough to step back into my life. Try not to fear it if you need to go.
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![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() saucygirl31, Wild Coyote
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#64
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It’s a safe place to get help you need, Med changes/ doses can be moved quicker since nursing staff is there to watch for problems. There is always someone staff wise to talk too if you need them. It’s also helpful being with other people struggling with many of the same problems.
Stay safe Laura ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() bizi
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![]() Moose72
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#65
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Finally after 2 more calls to my CPN I get a hold of her. She says she spoke to my community worker but thinks I'm over the worst as I'm not speed talking. I'm to stay off the sites and I'll see her Tues as planned.... less than a 10 min phone call btw. For the love of God I give up. Waste of my phone bill calling up
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![]() Anonymous45023, bizi, fern46, Moose72, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#66
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Saw my Peer Worker today... she says I'm fine today and she doesn't think I was manic as although she is concerned about the guys coming over I didn't have sex and was just fooling around with them. I have spent lots of money but it would be thousands rather than hundreds of pounds. I would have grandiose ideas, not sleeping much (much less than I am), busier than i was, not able to hide it etc etc
I have a feeling my appt in 22 hours with my CPN won't go down well. I'm dreading it tbh. I'm confused what is wrong with me? |
![]() Anonymous45023, bizi, liveforsummer, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#67
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Hi. I want to offer my 2 cents here on this subject...
in all honesty you should quit doing what you are. you are here talking to us about it, as you know that it's not healthy and is extremely dangerous, especially since you are going thru some form of intimacy with these guys, some may get angry and take it out on you as if you are leading them on, like a c**k tease. your doc may be wrong here as you may have left feelings out or details, that may make them have a different take on the matter. you should just find a med that curbs your libido, or get a vibrator or both. I understand the need for affection and human touch. (I have been celibate for 6 years) so, yeah I get it. but being beaten up, raped, or other things, is not worth what you are doing. please consider getting some serious intervention here with your doc, and if you feel they are not getting what you are laying down, make it really clear to them, even if you break down in the appointment and start bawling. they have to know what's really going on. also, just because you are not going that far with them, doesn't mean that they won't stalk you. keep that in mind. good luck with this and I am here if you wanna talk. let us know the outcome and how you handle things going forward please. /hug
__________________
current meds: -Oxcarbazepine -Gabapentin -Hydroxyzine -Risperidone -Zoloft Psychotherapy 2-3 times a month as needed Bipolar 1, PTSD |
![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#68
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I hope your appt tomorrow gives you the help you need Miss Laura.
Please keep safe. The risks are not worth all the potential negative outcomes |
![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#69
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My appt was today... useless. Cpn thinks I was nervous and anxious as I dont seem manic nor did I yesterday or Fri. I told her what's been going on. She thinks I'm bored and seeking out conversations. Says meds are fine. No need to change them or add to them. I need more things to do with my life too
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![]() Anonymous45023, bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#70
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Do you feel you have been manic?
From reading this thread, it is not clear that you are convinced you have been/are manic. We tend to relate information from our own perspective. If you are not feeling you have been/are manic, then you may have presented your story according to your own perspective. This is totally understandable. ![]() Are you upset with the CPN's feedback? if so, what did you hope she would do for you? Whether or not you have been manic, it may be helpful for you to get more involved with other interests in your life. I agree this is a useful suggestion. It seems like you get very involved in searching for men and put yourself at risk. You might as well channel that energy into something safer and more constructive. ![]() Do you feel like you have a choice when you have a mood shift re: looking for men and putting yourself at risk? I hope you are doing well today. ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() bizi
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#71
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Quote:
I am too right now lol |
#72
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Even though I am hypersexual right now also. What everyone else is saying might not be a bad thing to listen to.
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#73
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But what do I know.
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#74
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Quote:
Yeah I was quite peeved off tbh... I was hoping for a med change/upped and or an anxiety med too. But she's told me she would get me an anxiety med for the last 4/5 months. I'm being made to go on a 6 week Be Safe course (covers online etc as well as fire safety etc). They want me to do more volunteering to get out the house more. I really don't want to though. Not really if I'm honest, my head rules a lot of the time which clouds over my judgement. |
![]() Anonymous45023
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#75
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Hope you start to feel better soon... yeah I'm listening to everyone and taking on board their advice
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