[Victoria'smom]

My sister wants me to take a trip in a little under two weeks with her. I'm still not out of my psychosis completely. I would be in complete control of my meds and have access to sharp object. Then there's the 3-4 day drive round trip. Plus my son finally sees pdoc during the trip. IDK, I want to see family but I'm not healthy.

[Daonnachd]

I think if my son were scheduled for a doctor's appointment I would make that my top priority.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

My sister wants me to take a trip in a little under two weeks with her. I'm still not out of my psychosis completely. I would be in complete control of my meds and have access to sharp object. Then there's the 3-4 day drive round trip. Plus my son finally sees pdoc during the trip. IDK, I want to see family but I'm not healthy.

You may want to talk about this asap with your therapist and/or psychiatrist, Miguel'smom. I have to be honest and say that "still not out of my psychosis" and "have access to sharp object" sort of (or rather extremely) scares me about what you wrote. Would or should I take such a trip under such circumstances? No!

I found myself being taken by my employer to a hospital when I was living in Taiwan. Then I quit the job and wandered around Asia by myself (getting robbed and sleeping with guys). That was not good! Once my husband took me to Maine and he almost took me to a hospital there. Not good! Once I was manic and psychotic on our way back to the US from Portugal. I scared my husband to death because he didn't think we'd be allowed on the plane because I had been ranting about a woman giving me a pen with anthrax on it. We managed to get on, but my poor hubby cried for a little while in flight. Then I made a scene at Newark International Airport with my rants. I had to have an emergency appointment at my psychiatrist's office the next day upon return. If he hadn't taken me so quickly, I would have been in the hospital. Even in Portugal I was having problems. I scared the hell out of a housekeeper in Porto. She didn't even speak any English, but was comforting me because I was screaming in terror. Meanwhile, my husband was getting ice downstairs because I had injured my ankle being careless and violent. I have a history of accidents when manic. Not so much deliberate self-harm, but falls, tripping, punching/kicking things, and more, because of fury and ramminess, etc. During one trip in Prague, I decided to run down a steep hill (in anger). I fell really hard and had swollen legs, hands, scrapes, and a black eye. I didn't even really feel much pain. During my Asian extravaganza manic trip, I almost jumped off the bridge over the River Kwai. in Kanchanaburi, Thaland. Not because I was suicidal, but because I thought it would be fun. The people I was with convinced me not to.

[Victoria'smom]

I think if my son were scheduled for a doctor's appointment I would make that my top priority. He wouldn't miss the appointment H would take him but I wouldn't be there to know whats doing on.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I think if my son were scheduled for a doctor's appointment I would make that my top priority. He wouldn't miss the appointment H would take him but I wouldn't be there to know whats doing on.

Right, but it's an understandable reason I would expect your sister to relate to positively. Although, BirdDancer makes a very strong point.

[~Christina]

On one hand “ maybe” a change of scenery would help matters , get you out of your very small world.

Or

It could be very risky, what if you did hurt yourself and wind up in a hospital states and states away from home ?

Would your husband be able to explain to you well enough about Miguel’s appointment and will you not believe him? You struggle so often in trusting your husband across the board anyway?

When would this trip take place ?

[Victoria'smom]

I have trouble trusting h. So I'm not sure I'd be happy missing the appointment. The trip would be the 30th.

[unaluna]

I know people say, oh you gotta get out of your comfort zone, but i feel like i have never BEEN IN my comfort zone. Something always comes along to interrupt it. Like i dont even want to say, oh i brushed my teeth x days, because that will just jinx it. Become a huge setback that may take me months to recover from.

So - would going on this trip become a huge setback that may take you months to recover from? Or however long? Financially? Mentally? Physically? Why did your sister ask you? Will she be travelling alone otherwise? Will people be hurt if you dont go?

Rereading your post - the last thing you say is that youre not healthy. That would be reason enough for me to just say no.

[Under*Over]

Yes. But I tend not to really let my symptoms get in the way of anything- even when it should and I make a fool out of myself

[neverending]

I have found that when I make a trip unstable I end up hospitalized at the new location.

The last trip I made I wasn't completely stable but didn't need to go to the hospital again but since my return it has been still difficult.

I wish so badly I could get back to stability. I don't know when that will happen.

So, for me at least, taking a trip when I am unstable is a vrty bad decision.

You have to decide for yourself. Could you end up hospitalized in a strange hospital? And would you be willing to tolerate that?

[Wild Coyote]

I agree with the idea that you need to weigh the pros and cons and decide for yourself. At the same time, I would be very concerned if I were still in a psychosis. If I were unwell, I would not be able to tolerate the stimuli of traveling. Yet, that is me, not you.

I would also be concerned about my son. On the one hand you say your H will be with him. On the other hand you write that you do not trust H. If this is true, it only makes sense for you to be present for the appointment. (?)

Sometimes, a change of scenery can be very helpful. Other times, it might exacerbate the psychosis. You have concerns about not being safe when you write about sharp objects being available on the trip.

All things considered, I would lean toward staying home for now. I would hope to get increasingly better and go on a trip another time.

I realize this is a tough decision for you. I hope you will weigh this out for yourself, as you know much more about yourself and your family's situation.

[Victoria'smom]

Thank you birddance. My sister and I don't always get a long. So I'm hesitant there too. Financially it'll take us about a month maybe two to recover. Mentally I don't know it maybe a good visit it may not be. Physically who knows. My parents house is set in a way I'm more independent day to day.

My sister asked me because my "grandma" is up there and she doesn't want to travel alone with 2 kids (pre teens). A lot of people will be hurt if I don't go. It'll be spun badly. They think you can just change appointments to the next week or whatever.

I can pretend I am stable. I'm good at that. I won't be hospitalised away from my home. I can't afford that.

[Victoria'smom]

I see t in about an hour so I'm going to talk to her about this. Thank you I have lots to think about.

[Blueberrybook]

If you are hesitant in the first place and have your doubts, I'd say, no, wait until you are doing better. But it's always easier to say so than to do so in my case.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm not going. I pissed off my family. They wanted to fly me up after my son's appointment I said no. I'm not going. They didn't ask why. I said there's no point to go up for a couple of days. I feel bad feel I owe my sister (who misses me a lot) an explanation. They don't understand BP and psychosis is a scary word. My sister uses mental illness as an excuse for peoples bad behavior. I don't want to be grouped with them. She even talked about paranoia today. I don't want them to worry or talk ****.

[Wild Coyote]

Is it possible to talk with them and educate them more about what life is like for you right now?
It seems like they love you lots and they just might show interest?

I hope there is more understanding within your family in time.