Bipolar check in #39

Glad therapy went well, I love Lord of the Rings!

Thank you so much WC...your post made perfect sense and I appreciate that you took the time despite your tiredness and pain.

I think this was coming on by itself anyway so Mirapex might have just given me that last push to get into this.

I don't have any meds to take other than my regular ones.

My pdoc hasn't responded yet but she usually does late.

I went for a walk and buzzed through some more work when I got back. I'm hoping I'll be ok tonight.

I'll post with an update later.

Thanks for this!

I smile every time I see your new avatar!
It has taken some getting used to. I am so used to seeing your old one and associating it with you. I will, in time, be as used to this one, as well.

Most dancers look happy. I imagine dancers are enjoying their "work."
You look lovely! Beautiful!

I hope something about your day looks up before the day is over.
If not, then tomorrow is a brand new day!

@falcon09: Congratulations about being back in your own apartment! I love having my own apartment! I treasure my privacy! I like apartments better than houses because they are more sturdy and no lawn care or shoveling the driveway. I live in Canada and when the cold North wind howls on Winter nights i like knowing i have only one single exposed wall and that it's thick sturdy concrete. Apartment-dwelling is also "greener" -- better for the environment. The urban planners call it "intensification." No expensive roads to build for urban sprawl, no kilometers of sewer system or electrical service. I also like having an elevator -- so fun to ride on a regular basis and we have mirrored walls in ours -- sexy! We have an active party room in our building. The events rarely involve me but i love to peek in at all the revelers dancing and chatting and the tables groaning with food! Our building is also dog-friendly and we have such an abundance of property it is like we have our own park out back with even an enclosure for the dogs to run free! Such a building i live in! Now if only my neighbors would get over themselves . . . .

@christina: It's funny and apt that you call it "Hellmart." So perfectly describes the experience of shopping there! When i made my first shopping foray about ten days ago since my fear psychosis started on September 27th i actually started in Hellmart and wound up sitting on the floor with my fingers in my ears and my head slumped over on my chest while the stockboy went to check on a sale item that was sold-out -- surprise, surprise. I attempted to get a raincheck at the service desk but i couldn't take it anymore and fled. Since then i have made two subsequent attempts to go and turned back at the door both times once i glimpsed the madness inside. I don't know what to do about the department store purchases i need. The drugstore and grocery store i can tolerate, but not Hellmart.

Whew! Got two doctor’s appointments out of the way for me and one for mom. More tests to be done. I managed to squeeze some errands in and feel well enough to go to a movie tonight and make a casserole for a bible study luncheon tomorrow. It will be my first time back. I sincerely hope it goes well. I’m nervous.

It’s a good day today. I find when I force myself up and out, I feel better. It helped that the weather is beautiful.

Warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Having such a nice time here on Psych Central! I must make a better attempt to live thru my computer now that going places is beyond me. Yay computers! I think there are even online Overeaters Anonymous meetings -- will have to check that out! Also back to enjoying my soaps. Princess Gina is back on "Days of our Lives"!!!

Neighbor man is putting up his tree protection. In the winter deer come here and eat his trees cause they are evergreens. So every winter he has to put up a fence around the trees. Tonight we're to get our first measurable snow. 2-4 inches. This year they have bow and arrow shooting at the parks and nature center to control the herd sizes so I don't think his trees are in any danger.

Back to not sleeping. Tossing and turning. Did sleep enough to have some half dreams. A really cool multi level book store with well worn wood bookcases and real Harry Potter books. An old Victorian house where I was varnishing the floors and somehow that turned into China ceramic dragons that needed to be glazed. Throughout both dreams my daughter was 3-4 yrs olds again. I was finishing the house so my daughter could live with me. Probably old leftover desires as we only lived in apartments. I think my granddaughter is bring these dreams to the fore as she looks a lot like my daughter at that age.

Thanks, you're such a sweetie! I have been pretty busy. Speaking of work -- work, work, working! That's 5 days a week, then I hardly know where my days off go, lol. I have perhaps been playing with fire, but I've been spending some time with ex-bf. Just having fun, watching some dvds and stuff. He's a long bus ride away, with a short run time window, so time is automatically quite limited. Despite much past grief, it is nice spending time with someone who knows me so well and shares common interests.

Anyhow, speaking of work, lunch break is over.

*********
Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure

Well some how you need to get more sleep I know sleep medications you can’t really use because of meds for chronic pain.

I’m sorry about your aunt hopefully the stents will make a positive change in her life

Going shopping! I love Christmas time.

There's nothing wrong with spending time with someone who has been important to you and vice versa!

There's something to be said for "comfortable" relationships. They are often much so much easier.

Many couples get back together after awhile apart. Some do not.

Do just as you are doing, taking things slowly. you'll know.

It’s possible you might just need to drop your Mirapex a bit to level things as it’s an activating ...

Are you feeling better today ??

Yes yes yes I’m shocked there’s any left for right now. I can seeing it just going bone dry and then what ??! Ugh thinking about it all could easily lead me to a bridge. I have seen first hand the hell that so many seniors live with.. they give up meds for food or vice versa.

When I use to work Home health care I had a few people that truly were eating a piece of toast and an egg a day, or a single can of soup truly empty food pantries. I always made extra food so I could take them actual meals.. you know it’s heart breaking to watch a person start crying over something that might has easily been thrown away when I found that tub of leftovers way in the back of my fridge.

I always kept them stocked with bread and peanut butter , jelly in there homes. I wasn’t looking for thank you’s.. I always just thought that could easily be me one day.

Our country needs to do better for our seniors and anyone truly just trying to keep themselves fed. That’s a huge rant of mine

Another thing that happens all the time is more and more retired elderly wind up dying from August to the end of the year. So many have maxed out there medication coverage (medigap) so they simply stop taking the medications.

Lock key in the mail ?? Oh stupid you could just go pick it up, plain dumb !!

I think all this hard work will pay off ! Now that your much more stable I doubt you will ever have a struggle to get it done like this again

Sounds like things are running smoothly !! It’s such a relief to feel good

I hate Hellmart with a passion! But there are some things that are just more expensive at just my grocery store Kroger. So I go and just grab TP, laundry soap, fabric softener,bath soap etc. I do not buy any food at Walmart anymore. I literally walk in grab what I must and get the bloody hell out lol !

Ahhhh such a busy day !!! Good for you!! What kind of casserole?? I’m always looking for new recipes and ideas.
: hug:

Argh back to really no sleep !! I’m so sorry

Dreams sound interesting.

My husband is still planning on getting a deer this year, I just dread doing all the work, he always cuts himself being in such a hurry, I’ll do it I’ll just bytch a lot Hahaha

Oh I’d hate to have to run fence what a terrible chore

Do you have a strict budget to follow?? I know you often run out of money the first week or 2 of the month. Have you stocked up on food yet ??