Bipolar check in #39

Nov 15, 2019, 09:05 AM

@BirdDancer: You said your dad was "making a statement by sleeping in the chicken coop." What on Earth was the statement saying? Haha, funny story tho i'm sure it wasn't fun to live thru, your dad's absences.

@~Christina: Glad you are getting somewhere with your various illnesses, getting some answers, re the Humira. Hope your upcoming test goes well. Sorry i couldn't read the details of your scope as i find that sort of thing triggers my PTSD. My husband was horrified when i told him a little of the self-violence flashes i got during a psychiatric assessment he was asked to attend with me. I guess no one knows our inner experience until we express it in words.

I find that's such a problem with an invisible episodic disability. I LOOK healthy. So people don't understand why i can be racing around the city one season and then too tired to help them out the next. During the long slow recovery from my acute fear reaction in October i wore a surgical mask with dark sunglasses and my black hoodie with the hood up and that STILL wasn't enough to discourage some people from talking to me.

Ack!

At least they asked about my health and one lady got the message, said she was sorry to see i wasn't feeling well. Sorry your husband wasn't supportive and just reacted with alarm. My husband was like this once when i had a medical crisis, told me not to "upset him that way." Darn it all, it was ME who would have had to go to emerg if i hadn't solved the problem on my own eventually. And yet all he could think of was HIMSELF . . . .

Be well my friends!

fern46 · Nov 15, 2019, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Not sleeping great, still/yet.

Even if I am tiired, my mood is better. At times, I do feel on the edge of depression. I want to avoid depression, mine are do severe and last so long!
So far, i've been brought out of depression by Mirapex. I have had to observe myself and make quick med adjustments with Mirapex. I also must watch for any obsessive-compulsive behaviors.

These behaviors may be just fine, depending upon the effects upon one's life. I'd like to become an obsessive housekeeper! Lol!
I have company coming over the holiday. I need to get some things done/ready/etc. I have a guy coming this morning to shampoo the (white) carpeting in the front staircase and related hallways.
I will have more done with carpeting after the holidays.

I have found a "handyman!" He seems like a very nice guy! A little expensive, but it is the going rate around here.

"Just say NO!" Many of you may recall how strung out I was over the holidays. You might recall I was doing a lot of work without help from any of the 28-32 guests. I was feeding. I was fed up long ago; yet, had kept doing it for my mother. My mother has never gotten an invite from her other children on a holiday.. Many know my mom turned 80 y.o. this year. She also has some additional health issues. this year. I have put my foot down and have finally said I am done doing this for everyone. I have had a rough year myself, on top of assisting my mom.. I have compromised so my mom will get to see her grandchildren, I hope. People are invited to stop in for dessert and fun and games after 2 PM.

If you plan to stop in, just let me know 5 days ahead, if possible. I must give Bird Dancer a count so she will have some idea as to how many deserts to make.

I remain hopeful for a Happy Thanksgiving!

Just a quick note to let you know

You are fighting for a healthier and happier holiday. Very wise

bizi · Nov 15, 2019, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Oh and I am picking at my skin more again. It's gross, I know. I just keep around hand sanitizer to use when I catch myself doing it.

On a positive note I went to the gym yesterday and cooked dinner for myself today. Vegetarian "beef" and broccoli with teriyaki sauce.

Sorry, I know this post is all over the place, like my brain right now. Sending compassion!

I was picking a lot and asked my pdoc about it and she prescribed an amio acid that helps with that. NAC from amazon inexpensive. one capsule twice a day then double that. even after a week I think it is helping. good luck...hate wearing bandaides and embarrassing!
bizi

Nov 15, 2019, 09:49 AM

I woke up last night at 2AM due to nightmares. I don’t get them that often but from time to time I do and they affect my sleeping patterns. I went back to bed around 4AM and woke up at 7AM. Not the best night’s sleep but some interrupted sleep is better than no sleep, even if I do feel restless.

Today I feel fine, tired but fine. I’m worried about this new job I’m supposed to start next week. – There is a chance I may not make the deadline (depends on how fast the government decides to move) and we’ll have to look at what other options are available (most likely waiting another few weeks for a training to open up). I’m going to call in today and ask about it, hopefully I will know something. I really am stressing about the situation.

I’ve been going through some rapid changes in attitude recently – from neurotic to flippant. I know it’s all based in the level of stress I’m under and my want to evade anything I deem uncomfortable. I’ll figure it out I guess, I don’t really have any other choice, do I? haha..

Anyway, That’s me.

12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013

@BirdDancer: You said your dad was "making a statement by sleeping in the chicken coop." What on Earth was the statement saying? Haha, funny story tho i'm sure it wasn't fun to live thru, your dad's absences.

We were all happy to see my Dad out of the house for a bit. He could be unbearable, at times. The chicken coop was only in the back yard. As for the statement, it had a figurative meaning that he made literal thinking he would shame my mother, but it didn't work. My mom got a laugh out of it and was happy he had such discomfort because of his stubborn obnoxious irritable behavior. We all laughed, but he wasn't. Again, he could have stayed down the road at my paternal grandmother's house.

Don't get me wrong. We always loved my dad, and still do. He has had his faults, but so does everyone else in my family, too, including yours truly. People have, at times, been happy for me to shut up or be out of sight. Looking back, I now don't blame them. Yup!

Nov 15, 2019, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Not sleeping great, still/yet.

Even if I am tiired, my mood is better. At times, I do feel on the edge of depression. I want to avoid depression, mine are do severe and last so long!
So far, i've been brought out of depression by Mirapex. I have had to observe myself and make quick med adjustments with Mirapex. I also must watch for any obsessive-compulsive behaviors.

These behaviors may be just fine, depending upon the effects upon one's life. I'd like to become an obsessive housekeeper! Lol!
I have company coming over the holiday. I need to get some things done/ready/etc. I have a guy coming this morning to shampoo the (white) carpeting in the front staircase and related hallways.
I will have more done with carpeting after the holidays.

I have found a "handyman!" He seems like a very nice guy! A little expensive, but it is the going rate around here.

"Just say NO!" Many of you may recall how strung out I was over the holidays. You might recall I was doing a lot of work without help from any of the 28-32 guests. I was feeding. I was fed up long ago; yet, had kept doing it for my mother. My mother has never gotten an invite from her other children on a holiday.. Many know my mom turned 80 y.o. this year. She also has some additional health issues. this year. I have put my foot down and have finally said I am done doing this for everyone. I have had a rough year myself, on top of assisting my mom.. I have compromised so my mom will get to see her grandchildren, I hope. People are invited to stop in for dessert and fun and games after 2 PM.

If you plan to stop in, just let me know 5 days ahead, if possible. I must give Bird Dancer a count so she will have some idea as to how many deserts to make.

I remain hopeful for a Happy Thanksgiving!

Wild Coyote, I hope you will ask for more help from guests this year. Wow! 28+ guests is a huge number of people. I was telling my mother, in her last years, to skip a year or ask for more help, but she wouldn't. She had almost the full burden of all holiday meals, though I helped her a bit. Some relatives did contribute either one side dish or a dessert. My uncle would just bring rolls from an Italian People's Bakery and make them out to be the most important part of the meal.

A good handyman is a treasure. My brother can do almost anything. We actually have a small project for him, but haven't asked him because he's been sick and stressed lately. My husband tries to do some things. He can succeed at some projects, but not without yelling multiple curses in Czech. My Czech curse vocabulary is pretty extensive.

I hope someone can bring some desserts to your gathering. Why should you make them all? If you must, there are plenty that can be made 2 or 3 days ahead. There are some easy/quick ones that still impress.

Sunflower123 · Nov 15, 2019, 03:58 PM

Hello all! Checking in. I feel increasingly overwhelmed and unable to fulfill the responsibilities and functions of my daily life. I don’t FEEL anxious or depressed. In fact, I feel nothing at all. Just increasing periods of numbness. It’s disheartening and I’m struggling to find a solution before things get out of hand. Sigh. All indicators are that I’m stable so this is puzzling. SAD presenting differently?

In other news, my good friend called me to ask about my cat who has been sick and things have been resolved. I’m thankful for that. I won’t forget the lessons I learned.

Warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

~Christina · Nov 15, 2019, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

To change your picture (avatar, the profile pic is something else). At the top left go to My profile, scroll down to edit avatar (which is under settings and options). At the bottom of the page it tells you how to upload your new avatar and then I assume you have to select it at the top and then you're good to go.

Ooooh thanks... I’ll have to get on my lap top to do it, I always get stuck when it comes to putting my pic somewhere to get it from , the picture I want to use is on my Facebook. Can I pull off there? Or do I need to download it to somewhere else first ??? I wish my kid was here to do it for me ! LOL ! She’s a total nerd geek haha

~Christina · Nov 15, 2019, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Sounds pretty humanitarian. All this info you're sharing is very reassuring.

I can't sleep so I'm up, watching The Advengers and lurking on PC

I’m such a Marvel fan!! Did you ever get some sleep ?

~Christina · Nov 15, 2019, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Not sleeping great, still/yet.

Even if I am tiired, my mood is better. At times, I do feel on the edge of depression. I want to avoid depression, mine are do severe and last so long!

So far, i've been brought out of depression by Mirapex. I have had to observe myself and make quick med adjustments with Mirapex. I also must watch for any obsessive-compulsive behaviors.

These behaviors may be just fine, depending upon the effects upon one's life. I'd like to become an obsessive housekeeper! Lol!

I have company coming over the holiday. I need to get some things done/ready/etc. I have a guy coming this morning to shampoo the (white) carpeting in the front staircase and related hallways.

I will have more done with carpeting after the holidays.

I have found a "handyman!" He seems like a very nice guy! A little expensive, but it is the going rate around here.

"Just say NO!" Many of you may recall how strung out I was over the holidays. You might recall I was doing a lot of work without help from any of the 28-32 guests. I was feeding. I was fed up long ago; yet, had kept doing it for my mother. My mother has never gotten an invite from her other children on a holiday.. Many know my mom turned 80 y.o. this year. She also has some additional health issues. this year. I have put my foot down and have finally said I am done doing this for everyone. I have had a rough year myself, on top of assisting my mom.. I have compromised so my mom will get to see her grandchildren, I hope. People are invited to stop in for dessert and fun and games after 2 PM.

If you plan to stop in, just let me know 5 days ahead, if possible. I must give Bird Dancer a count so she will have some idea as to how many deserts to make.

I remain hopeful for a Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh thank god you don’t have to go through last holiday season again!!! that knocked you on your backside for weeks and weeks!!

Glad you found a handyman ! That is a huge relief !!

Honestly i think I’ll make a pizza for TDay this year. It’s just me and my husband after all.

Ohhhh BirdDancers cookies

hehe

~Christina · Nov 15, 2019, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Hello all! Checking in. I feel increasingly overwhelmed and unable to fulfill the responsibilities and functions of my daily life. I don’t FEEL anxious or depressed. In fact, I feel nothing at all. Just increasing periods of numbness. It’s disheartening and I’m struggling to find a solution before things get out of hand. Sigh. All indicators are that I’m stable so this is puzzling. SAD presenting differently?

In other news, my good friend called me to ask about my cat who has been sick and things have been resolved. I’m thankful for that. I won’t forget the lessons I learned.

Warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

I’m sorry your struggling right now. I am myself but its situational. Could the up coming holiday and holding dinner be the cause? I know M is going to be gone for a while so that will be a struggle to I’m sure.

When I get overwhelmed I have often just gone numb.

Are you able to get out and even short walk in the sun ?? We have had a few grey days and it just makes me blah sometimes.

Please take good care of yourself !!

Nammu · Nov 15, 2019, 05:21 PM

I got some sleep, went back to bed and when I got up was relieved to see mum up. But that didn't last long as she didn't eat and went back to bed. She didn't eat yesterday and was in bed all day. Not like her at all. I tried getting her out of bed for her appointment but she was confused and combative. My daughter came over and we got her to the ER. Still here, waiting on tests. They are looking at heart complications plus she has a bladder infection. My daughter and sil left and since then the darn mach keeps dinging and flashing but the staff tells me it's fine. If it's fine why does the bells ding and the red lights start flashing? I'll be happy when my nephew comes by.

Sunflower123 · Nov 15, 2019, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I’m sorry your struggling right now. I am myself but its situational. Could the up coming holiday and holding dinner be the cause? I know M is going to be gone for a while so that will be a struggle to I’m sure.

When I get overwhelmed I have often just gone numb.

Are you able to get out and even short walk in the sun ?? We have had a few grey days and it just makes me blah sometimes.

Please take good care of yourself !!

Thank you for your suggestion and for your message. You’ve been a good friend to me and I really appreciate you!

Sunflower123 · Nov 15, 2019, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I got some sleep, went back to bed and when I got up was relieved to see mum up. But that didn't last long as she didn't eat and went back to bed. She didn't eat yesterday and was in bed all day. Not like her at all. I tried getting her out of bed for her appointment but she was confused and combative. My daughter came over and we got her to the ER. Still here, waiting on tests. They are looking at heart complications plus she has a bladder infection. My daughter and sil left and since then the darn mach keeps dinging and flashing but the staff tells me it's fine. If it's fine why does the bells ding and the red lights start flashing? I'll be happy when my nephew comes by.

I hope your mom is okay, Nammu, and that she gets back to herself soon. Those machines going off would unsettle me as well.

~Christina · Nov 15, 2019, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

To change your picture (avatar, the profile pic is something else). At the top left go to My profile, scroll down to edit avatar (which is under settings and options). At the bottom of the page it tells you how to upload your new avatar and then I assume you have to select it at the top and then you're good to go.

Ummmm okay I think I been able to change it

Thanks ! It did work

~Christina · Nov 15, 2019, 05:51 PM

Finally an updated pic of me lol

Nammu · Nov 15, 2019, 05:58 PM

Nice picture

~Christina · Nov 15, 2019, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Nice picture

Thanks Nammu

Nov 15, 2019, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Finally an updated pic of me lol

Nice hair

My mom went pure white in her early 30s. I'm 28 and getting noticeable amounts white strands. I figure I get it from her and that I'll be all white by 33-34..

I already look like I am a 18-19 apparently (since everyone asks when I am going to graduate high school or if I'm going to college), so I'm not sure how I'd look with white hair lol

06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Finally an updated pic of me lol

Your hair is stunning!

One of my former therapists had your color hair. She looked great, too. I think your color has a certain glamour or sophistication.

fern46 · Nov 15, 2019, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Finally an updated pic of me lol

Beautiful!!! That's exactly how to gracefully enter into silver hair territory. It is so full and healthy.

Polibeth · Nov 15, 2019, 06:41 PM

I'm finally feeling better. My grandma called right when I was getting home from a run to the grocery store. She threw a FIT when she found out that I wasn't in bed and that I went to the store. She threatened to drive down to pick me up and take me back to her house to spend a few weeks in bed.

I decided not to tell her I'm returning to work next week (pending doctor's approval).

I'm middle aged and she still tells me what to do (but I love her for it even when it makes me crazy)

fern46 · Nov 15, 2019, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Polibeth

I'm finally feeling better. My grandma called right when I was getting home from a run to the grocery store. She threw a FIT when she found out that I wasn't in bed and that I went to the store. She threatened to drive down to pick me up and take me back to her house to spend a few weeks in bed.

I decided not to tell her I'm returning to work next week (pending doctor's approval).

I'm middle aged and she still tells me what to do (but I love her for it even when it makes me crazy)

It is somewhat illogical, but at the same time It is nice to be loved like that

~Christina · Nov 15, 2019, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Nice hair

My mom went pure white in her early 30s. I'm 28 and getting noticeable amounts white strands. I figure I get it from her and that I'll be all white by 33-34..

I already look like I am a 18-19 apparently (since everyone asks when I am going to graduate high school or if I'm going to college), so I'm not sure how I'd look with white hair lol

Thanks

I had to start coloring my hair at age 15 ! I had a definite white strip.. Both my parents had white/grey hair in late 20’s I had no chance lol.

I truly wish I had quit coloring my hair decades ago. I have always colored it myself, but wow ... all that money.

I laugh because I’ve had a lot of younger people ask me who colors my hair.. they aren’t happy when I say its natural.

~Christina · Nov 15, 2019, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Your hair is stunning!

One of my former therapists had your color hair. She looked great, too. I think your color has a certain glamour or sophistication.

Thanks

I do get more compliments now than I did coloring since age 15

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