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#1
Oct 27, 2019, 10:58 PM
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Why oh why
I hate ruminating and I’ve been doing so for a couple weeks now. Bad abuse memories keep coming up. Bad memories of mental crisises won’t leave me be. It’s all making my high anxiety worse. I’m almost always near panic and my propanalol med four times daily isn’t helping much. I see my pdoc Tuesday. I’m gonna ask for Ativan prn again. Just enough to get me through this.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
 *Beth*, BipolarWolf, bpcyclist, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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 Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#2
Oct 28, 2019, 04:14 AM
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If I'm remembering right, propranolol is used off label for anxiety, not really for panic attacks, so it makes sense that it isn't helping much with panic. If anything, it would help with anxiety that causes the panic attacks, but if you are having flashbacks, that is not really anxiety IMO. More of a ptsd/panic thing.
While you wait for your pdoc appt, can you contact your therapist? Do you have any coping mechanisms you have tried? Maybe we can come up with some new ones for you. 
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| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#3
Oct 28, 2019, 05:12 AM
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I'm sorry you are suffering. Does Haldol help with rumination? I have a lot of rumination and generally, antipsychotics have helped me quite a bit. I'm on Abilify right now and it seems to help me with this.
__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
| Wild Coyote
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| *Beth*, Wild Coyote
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#4
Oct 28, 2019, 08:54 AM
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sending big hugs your way and positive vibes.
I understand what you are going thru. 
__________________
current meds: -Oxcarbazepine -Gabapentin -Hydroxyzine -Risperidone -Zoloft Psychotherapy 2-3 times a month as needed Bipolar 1, PTSD |
| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#5
Oct 28, 2019, 09:17 AM
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I’ve been doing a LOT of mindfulness practice including using the STOP skill. Square breathing to calm down. Listening to music. Distractions like watching funny movies or Harry Potter. Reading. Surfing internet for new things. Baking. Cleaning. Etc etc
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| BipolarWolf, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#6
Oct 28, 2019, 12:07 PM
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Ruminating is one of the most difficult (maybe the most difficult) states for me. When my mind gets locked in like that I truly feel crazy. Watching movies is a great idea...it seems to disrupt the circular thinking.
__________________
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| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#7
Oct 28, 2019, 12:41 PM
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I’m to lazy to write it all out again , just remember our conversation from last night ! lol
Keep on keeping on
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| HALLIEBETH87, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#8
Oct 28, 2019, 03:10 PM
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Well old boss said they are hiring for my old position. im disappointed but expected a no deep down. so im trying to get into my new job as best I can. its hard to get any hours though and im really struggling financially even with SSDI. -sigh- im looking into other PSS jobs but no luck. im really struggling this week. im gonna ask pdoc for an anxiety prn tomorrow. hopefully Ativan as hes given that to me before and it helps just enough.
I did however get my college transcripts sent in. looks like most the classes ive taken will go towards my degree somehow. even my child development associate classes count as social sciences. hopefully. thatd be great huh? I wont count on it though. im still not sleeping much. I had two good nights. I was up most of the night last night. I just need chai and a good book. both I have. that's how is pending tonight. harry potter and chai.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#9
Oct 28, 2019, 03:53 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg  Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#10
Oct 28, 2019, 05:58 PM
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Haldol helps with lots but not with this. at least not right now.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#11
Oct 28, 2019, 10:18 PM
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I hope that you have gotten past this and if not you are using tools to help you through. I’m here if you need a distraction!
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| bpcyclist
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#12
Oct 29, 2019, 11:28 AM
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I’m still really struggling
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schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| bpcyclist, cashart10, downandlonely
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#13
Nov 06, 2019, 07:16 PM
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Ah man. I can ruminate over ruminating until nothing makes sense. I seriously don't understand how I get work done some weeks.
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Bipolar 1.... living la vida lithia. Certainly some sertraline and because the doctor is lazy, sometimes olanzapine. |
| bpcyclist
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#14
Nov 06, 2019, 08:56 PM
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It’s still happening
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| bpcyclist, cashart10
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| ~Christina
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#15
Nov 06, 2019, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
So write down things you have looking forward.... your vacation. You likely needing to find a much better job. Thanksgiving, and Christmas coming soon. Church activities. When your mind wanders stop and write in your journal of upcoming things... might be writing it over and over but take control of your feelings, fight FOR the things coming into your life Not giving your past power to effect your life moving forward. Maybe some new kind of different cakes or cookies you can make for Christmas gifts this year. Bird Dancer is an amazing baker , I bet she would share a recipe or two.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| bpcyclist
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#16
Nov 06, 2019, 10:08 PM
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I wanna make apple pie bread soon
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| bpcyclist
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#17
Nov 06, 2019, 10:54 PM
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Dang...lucky! Gluten is on my list of physical maintenance can nots. Gluten free waffles are the shizzle.
__________________
Bipolar 1.... living la vida lithia. Certainly some sertraline and because the doctor is lazy, sometimes olanzapine. |
| bpcyclist, HALLIEBETH87
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#18
Nov 07, 2019, 11:51 PM
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The past is done. Tomorrow is full of possibilities - drive with the sunroof down, pancakes with hash browns, a walk in the warm sunshine, fixing that thing that's been broken for two years.
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| bpcyclist
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