Bipolar Check-in #40

I’m so happy for you you sure did busy your backside. I’m glad it’s all over for you

So many things to handle at once. You are doing great ! Glad to hear your brother is doing well. Just keep up your self care

Yay!!!! For sleep !!!!! Bout time you got some. Candy dreams are okay by me

How’s your mom ??

Good to hear from you ! I can only imagine trying to do anything on a bus I’d damn for sure miss my stop !! I hope your meetup is enjoyable

Thanks WC and @BirdDancer!

I lowered by Mirapex dose this morning - my pdoc switched it to morning from night time. I don't think it'll make a difference for tonight but hopefully, things will improve soon.

I'll see if I can find the patch here in Canada - it's worth a try.

I went the whole day without eating and finally ate a little at 4pm. I'm really obsessed with the idea of going as long as possible without eating.

As for my article, it is a technical tutorial. It took me over 12 hours to figure out the details and steps for the article and three hours to write the article, so I hope the readers find it helpful. So far, I can see people are reading it and one person has commented with positive feedback.

When I'm feeling really low, I think of my articles and books and how both have helped readers. I don't feel a lot better, but it's good to remind myself that I have value in the world at a time when I'm not feeling valued, even by myself.

Thanks for the support, friends!

Today was HORRIBLE! Horrible, horrible, horrible! My poor brother was so scared, I think he thought he might die today. The way he looked at my sister and me and asked if we would please stay until after a procedure he had. Of course we did. He was just relieved that he wouldn't need open-heart surgery or even a stint. Tomorrow he is having some procedure where they give his heart a shock. He keeps talking about how they stop his heart for a short bit as part of that procedure. I kept telling him that they do that to many people for many things and it is not that dangerous. The odd thing is that if they can get his heart beating properly tomorrow, they may even release him from the hospital. He even said that if it works, he could even start working right away afterwards. That sounds insane, to me, especially since he is an electrician and it's a rather physical job. He told us that he is also diagnosed with diabetes type 2, as of today. So many people in my family have/had diabetes. I know that I better get my diet and exercise going or I could get it, too! I told him that he and my sister and I would work together to support each other in eating better.

My sister and I went to see my dad after leaving the hospital where my brother is. We have not told my father anything about our brother. My brother wants to tell him, himself, after he gets out. We were happy that at least the rehab joint connected our dad with the IOP near me. Poor Dad had to answer questions over the phone for 45 minutes. If you knew my dad, you'd know that would be a torture for him. He will still need to go for the intake. I told my sister that I'd like to give Dad at least a good 24 to 48 hours after his discharge. He has to get used to the assisted living situation.

I hadn't visited the assisted living joint my siblings chose for our dad. I went there with my sister after leaving Dad today. I don't know if it was my mood, or if I was right that the main manager there was kind of obnoxious. I don't think she seemed to like me much, either. I challenged her on a couple things. I HATE the fact that they serve alcohol at that joint. My siblings chose it. Not me! Yes, our dad has to say no, but I dislike that it'll be served to residents right in front of him. They at first said it's only wine. Then when the manager took me to the dining room to show me it to me, I asked "So why are there a bunch of martini glasses on the shelves there?" She got defensive. Yea, I guess they have a "bar". Expletive!

UPDATED THIS PARAGRAPH: I called my therapist to cancel my appointment tomorrow. I want to be with my brother. I will be with my brother while my sister picks up my father and takes him to the assisted living.

Next week my husband and I are going to Florida. Great timing, huh? There is nothing we can do about it. If we cancel, which my husband would never want to do, we'd lose all of our money that we paid for that vacation. The timing is just so unfortunate! Normally I don't give two fiddler's f***s about Thanksgiving, but this year is quite different. I do want to give thanks that my father is making a huge effort to be well. I want to give thanks that my brother will be OK. I would also like to give huge thanks to my sister, who has done SO much during all of this.

When I was talking to Dad this afternoon, I told him he'd be seeing a whole lot more of me because I'd be taking him to the IOP, etc. His reaction looked like he was about to cry with joy. Literally cry. That look and reaction is heartbreaking to me because I know that these past years I've been absent a lot because of his alcoholism. I also almost cried thinking how he'd would react if he knew my brother's situation.

Oh my goodness

Your have 247 to many things going on all at once

I’m so glad your brother is doing well. Yes he will need to make some lifestyle changes.

I’m thinking honestly your trip to Florida might be a good thing , you will get a break from taking your dad back and forth.

Honestly I’m pretty shocked that they offer alcohol. Do you think your father will be able to refrain? Such a temptation it will be. If the director doesn’t like you that’s just fine.

Please continue with self care, you are going to need it

Well my Pulmonary functions test is 730 am tomorrow.. it’s 1.5 hours north so I need to leave by 5 am to make sure I’m there on time.

I plan to head to bed soon after dinner and read ... You watch tonight I will actually sleep and then have to somehow drag myself out of bed at 4am. Oh well

Ok had to turn my TV off ... I can only take so much evil in this world. Ostrich time !

Hope everyone has a nice evening

Mum's been medically cleared. All they are doing now is waiting on a nursing home opening. When I arrived mum was upset she thought they wanted her to go for 130 days. But nope only up to 20 days for rehabilitation, to gain back her strength. Once we got that cleared up things were much better. She's off oxygen and on oral antibiotics. The nursing homes are here in the hometown. In fact one is less than a mile from mum's house. Just depends on which one has an opening.

Oh great news !!! I’m sure she will benefit from physical therapy to build up her strength

Sleep well!

Love and Prayers, Christina!

I hope you have a safe trip there and back and that everything goes smoothly.

I was trying to figure out how to apply two coupons to the same pizza order (complex math ) and just like that I was back for the time being. I’ll still go to see my NP tomorrow and ask for a med adjustment and fit in the ultrasound as well but I’m feeling better tonight and think I’ve turned a corner.

Thank you for your responses and the hugs. They meant a lot and made a huge difference. I appreciate it.

Warm regards to all and wishes for all a peaceful rest.

@bpcyclist: While i'm sorry you had to go thru all that suffering with your psychosis i am inspired by your recovery. If you can live thru all that terrible paranoia i'm sure i can carry on with my own stuff. Psychosis sucks!

@MarcusAurelius: So glad to hear your first day on the new job went well! Hope!

Had a quiet day resting after a disastrous food binge yesterday kept me up with a stomach ache until 2:00am. My intestines hurt today when i walk. Have just been caring for my dog, combing her, washing her eye boogers out and taking her out for potty and to enjoy the crisp Winter day. Emailed my doctor asking for his advice re a food plan, as Overeaters Anonymous (OA) asks us to do. Not feeling much hope today about my compulsive overeating but still hanging in there. Read some OA literature today and looked into online meetings as it seems that going places is no longer a good idea for me, being so weak and tired. Well, my dog comes first and if all i can do is care for her, that's what it'll have to be.

I feel very strange tonight... I'm not sure why. I just feel spacey and like I'm on the verge of a massive panic attack or disconnecting from reality , scares me.

Anyway, I went to the laundromat today so I'm happy that's done

I hope you feel better soon. Sending hugs and supportive vibes.

Thank you!

Safe travels and hope you get some answers!

So I was supposed to return to work this evening after being off with pneumonia. However, yesterday I ran a fever (very unusual for me) and my throat started hurting. This morning I woke up with a fever - looked in my throat - looked like strep throat - which I've only had once or twice. Fortunately, I already had a PCP appointment scheduled to follow-up on the pneumonia. I explained my symptoms to my doctor and she kept interrupting to say "I'm sure it's just viral", Finally, I just laid it out for her and said "You MUST look at my throat". She took one look in my throat and said "OMG - you have classic strep throat". She ran the strep test (positive of course)

I keep telling everyone that I am a one-woman plague. So work return is pushed back to Saturday but I talked with my director today and apparently, I probably qualify for some short-term disability. I did call my pdoc's nurse because I have become somewhat depressed and just wanted him to know what is going on.

Do you think there might have been a trigger?
Any idea of what it might have been?
No no need to disclose.
I hope you will feel comfort very soon! :
much Love to You! :y

(((((( Jennifer ))))))
I am sure you and your NP make a good team!

Much Love!

Thanks!

I think the trigger was not getting enough sleep and having too much caffeine today

I am sorry that you have strep throat....I have heard that it is very painful. Did she give you any pain meds?
I hope you get well soon.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Sometimes it is that simple!

I am taking it moment-by-moment.
I have been in excruciating pain.
:

Much Love and Hope for All.