[bizi]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

A Happy New Year to everyone!
I’ve now been stable for 5 mths which is great. I’m still in holiday mode - or at least my brain is. I’m finding it extremely difficult to get moving in the morning. Getting anything done is proving to be hard. I hope I snap out of it soon. Being this unmotivated is not a good thing.
My anxiety is manageable at the moment. I read a quote the other day and have decided to see if I can apply it to my life “feel the fear, and do it anyway”.
Wishing you all well. Hugs to those who need them.

I think that is a book if I recall.Feel the fear and do it anyway is a great thought and practice.

[Nammu]

Tonight was $5 movie night so I decided to see Star Wars. Was the first one in the theater so got to sit where I wanted to. Bunch of boys came in after me and started pelting me with popcorn, I recalled why I hate theaters. I turned around and asked them if they wanted to stay, cause if they kept it up I would complain. They stopped then a bunch more people came in, but still. It's why I like going in at 1 for the first showing. I like being the only one there. Pretty good ending to the whole Star Wars saga tho.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Last night I realized that my mood has dipped. I had trouble falling asleep because of sad thoughts. Normally I am able to put them behind me, but it's been a bit tougher lately. I'm not bouncing back well from all the weeks of stress. That doesn't mean this mood dip has to continue, though. I have to start reminding myself about and practicing coping skills. I see my tdoc today and pdoc tomorrow.


Hubby finally finished a project that he's been working on for years. There is only one last thing to see before it's 100% final. That is one of those things where you don't know if there will be surprise issues until you literally have the finished product in your hand to examine. If the finished physical product is perfect (or near perfect), then it is 100% over. I told my husband to then do the distribution and literally and figuratively put the sucker on a shelf and forget about it for a while, letting it collect figurative dust. Maybe not real dust. We like our house dusted


Add on: I just signed up for a Meetup this Saturday. It is one I attended once a long while back.


I'm dragging a small boulder with a chain. I will not add anything additional beyond the one Meetup event and the French class, for a while.

I hate that your feeling down but I’m so happy you are able to see it for what it is. You have had many really tough months in a row for a pretty long time now.

Yes stepping up your coping skills and being self aware will really get you back on track

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Well, my internet service got suspended, so that's always nice. (Sarcasm)


Apparently I didn't pay my bill? I had autopay setup and when I called Comcrap, they said I did not have it set up. Obviously something in their system had a hiccup because I have been living here for 2 years with autopay setup for my internet bill. What the hell? Now I have to wait a business day for my payment to post and then who knows how long after that for my service to continue. F_ck me!


Ah well. I guess I'll just watch some movies... Not like I can do anything about this until the payment posts. Sh_t.

I am so sorry this happened !!! I’d be very upset too. I didn’t know there is even any tv or internet services available that does not require auto pay ??!?!?!
I’d be talking to higher ups in the company about this nonsense !

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

(((((( Christina ))))))


I am so sorry, as you know.


It is very tough to know when to throw in the towel, for sure.


When I feel like throwing in the towel, I find I have a choice of:

- simply following through on giving up, or


- Thinking about whether or not there might be a (another or a new) way to reach them, a way that I have not yet tried. Granted, a new way usually means making myself even more vulnerable and again open for more hurt.


I then have to decide if I am up for taking yet another risk?


I think you have time to think about all of this: Time to think it all over, time to discuss options with Steve, etc.


Give yourself a lot of credit for trying. Give yourself time to process everything.


You know where to find me!


Love ya!

Very good points as always ! Something needs to change

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I woke up to a frantic mother, telling me there was no heat!

I LOVE my bedroom COLD and would not have noticed if the furnace had quit. I have a window open all winter.


I went into the basement to check on the furnace. Not working. I threw the emergency switch and...nothing. I am sitting here waiting for the gas company to show up to diagnose what ails the furnace. Hopefully, it is something that can be easily fixed.

My mom was freezing cold and was, tearfully, feeling very overwhelmed.. Sent her to the senior center, where she can interact with her friends and can enjoy the distractions there. We will see what transpires!


Things like this keep me young! I have to think on my feet, shift gears, improvise, etc. It may feel very inconvenient; yet, it keeps me using some skills which could otherwise fall by the wayside. This viewpoint might be the silver lining?.

Let's see how I feel when it is 6 pm and the gas company has not yet shown up! LOL!


I hope everyone has a great day!!!

When it rains it pours !!!!!!! I am so so so freaking sorry !!!!! Much love ! But enjoy a brief moment of not being melting from heat and wheezing !

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I hurt my back last February caring for my mom after her fall and it’s been tricky ever since then. It’s frustrating!

Oh no ! I’m sorry.

My husband really threw his back out before Florida trip. What finally really got rid of the pain was 2 Alene and 2 excedrin extra strength.

I of course tried it , pffft nothing but I legit need elephant size doses of anything.

I hope you feel better soon

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Naynay99

Hey. Haven’t been here in a while.

I’m feeling really good lately, and after several days of little to naught, I had 5 glorious hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. Sleeping is usually the one thing I’m good at. Insomnia has plagued me since Thursday. It Took 3+ hours to fall asleep last night, like I forgot how.


Anyway, things r good. I’m eXercising. Leaving the house. Doing fun things. Optimistic about 2020 in general. And at least for a while, rid of depression which kicks arse.


Anyway, it’s good to read what u all r up to. I feel a tad like a tool posting a new topic all about me and not checking in how other ppl r doing. But being gone, it’s too overwhelming going back to read wht is going on w everyone. I did try tho.


Wishing u all a great week.

Glad things are going well

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Im feeling rotten about my day. I bought those glasses I dont REALLY need. Peter tried to ruin my life. Ugh! JustUGH! I feel anxious now and it started off as a good. Its only 4:40 pm. Ive been up for nearly 12 hours. I am feeling self hate for my day. Self hate! I need to eat something of substance.

Oh J

I’m sorry, I replied to your PM before reading the forum You need some self care and kindness for yourself. Your a wonderful beautiful caring soul and getting hit from all sides at once. Maybe drop down and curl into a ball and self sooth with a book or maybe binge more Greys anatomy ? Hit shower or bath. Do some things that are soothing , you need it and deserve it. Much love

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’ve built my expectations for 2020 too high and I’m vascillating between stress/overwhelm and SI. Darn perfectionism! I’m going to work on more reasonable plans and expectations and on having more compassion for myself.


Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Maybe slowing things down will help or maybe tomorrow you can review that list, rearranging a few things and it be doable.

First and formost be kind to yourself

[BeyondtheRainbow]

So it looks like it is time to switch GI doctors. And probably file a complaint against the current one. I'm waiting to ask my pdoc about all this before I do anything (and I'm stuck with this one through the elimination diet I think). Anyway, I thought it weird that my GI hasn't examined my bellyi but I figured he knew what he was doing and that maybe he was relying on the NPs assessment at my family dr in July or he thought he knew what was wrong so he skipped it.

Then yesterday I was in the patient portal and noticed that both times I've seen him he documented that my abdominal exam was normal. He has never touched me.

And now I'm remembering that my gallbladder wasn't particularly painful until my dr pressed on it and I nearly jumped to the ceiling. Exams are important.

I feel so stupid for not questioning this sooner. I'm a healthcare professional for pete's sake. I know better. I've listened to my own belly abnormally rumble with my stethoscope during the bad times. I know he should have too.

I really hope my pdoc can help me figure this out. They are in the same hospital system so I'm hoping she knows something.

Of course no matter what, a complaint is a mentally ill patient vs a doctor...and I sure can't prove he didn't do an exam.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by falcon09

Only 4 days after being discharged from hospital and I'm struggling.

It’s very common when getting out of IP most everyone still feels wobbly, it normal. Focus on using your coping skills.

When do you see your T or Pdoc again?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

A Happy New Year to everyone!

I’ve now been stable for 5 mths which is great. I’m still in holiday mode - or at least my brain is. I’m finding it extremely difficult to get moving in the morning. Getting anything done is proving to be hard. I hope I snap out of it soon. Being this unmotivated is not a good thing.

My anxiety is manageable at the moment. I read a quote the other day and have decided to see if I can apply it to my life “feel the fear, and do it anyway”.

Wishing you all well. Hugs to those who need them.

I’m so happy for you

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I was excited about going out with my neighbor with my dog and a dog she is minding so they could play fetch. But the dog turned out to be much bigger and rowdy and tried to hump my dog. So it was awful. Also, i had a hard time talking with my neighbor who told me this long plot of a movie without making any point. I just wanted her to stop talking. I'm so exhausted from my depression it's absurd.

Altho it wasn’t a grand time.. you did go out and that counts for alit!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Tonight was $5 movie night so I decided to see Star Wars. Was the first one in the theater so got to sit where I wanted to. Bunch of boys came in after me and started pelting me with popcorn, I recalled why I hate theaters. I turned around and asked them if they wanted to stay, cause if they kept it up I would complain. They stopped then a bunch more people came in, but still. It's why I like going in at 1 for the first showing. I like being the only one there. Pretty good ending to the whole Star Wars saga tho.

I can only handle going to movies middle of the week about non. I can not sit in a full theatre, I will have a full on panic attack.

Was it a good movie ?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

So it looks like it is time to switch GI doctors. And probably file a complaint against the current one. I'm waiting to ask my pdoc about all this before I do anything (and I'm stuck with this one through the elimination diet I think). Anyway, I thought it weird that my GI hasn't examined my bellyi but I figured he knew what he was doing and that maybe he was relying on the NPs assessment at my family dr in July or he thought he knew what was wrong so he skipped it.


Then yesterday I was in the patient portal and noticed that both times I've seen him he documented that my abdominal exam was normal. He has never touched me.


And now I'm remembering that my gallbladder wasn't particularly painful until my dr pressed on it and I nearly jumped to the ceiling. Exams are important.


I feel so stupid for not questioning this sooner. I'm a healthcare professional for pete's sake. I know better. I've listened to my own belly abnormally rumble with my stethoscope during the bad times. I know he should have too.


I really hope my pdoc can help me figure this out. They are in the same hospital system so I'm hoping she knows something.


Of course no matter what, a complaint is a mentally ill patient vs a doctor...and I sure can't prove he didn't do an exam.

Oh damn I am so sorry this has happened. You have been sick for months you certainly can’t remember every thing that should be done.

Definitely talk to your Pdoc...

I personally think I’d have to find a new gastro, I would also file a complaint.

You really really need to catch a damn break

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

So it looks like it is time to switch GI doctors. And probably file a complaint against the current one. I'm waiting to ask my pdoc about all this before I do anything (and I'm stuck with this one through the elimination diet I think). Anyway, I thought it weird that my GI hasn't examined my bellyi but I figured he knew what he was doing and that maybe he was relying on the NPs assessment at my family dr in July or he thought he knew what was wrong so he skipped it.

Then yesterday I was in the patient portal and noticed that both times I've seen him he documented that my abdominal exam was normal. He has never touched me.

And now I'm remembering that my gallbladder wasn't particularly painful until my dr pressed on it and I nearly jumped to the ceiling. Exams are important.

I feel so stupid for not questioning this sooner. I'm a healthcare professional for pete's sake. I know better. I've listened to my own belly abnormally rumble with my stethoscope during the bad times. I know he should have too.

I really hope my pdoc can help me figure this out. They are in the same hospital system so I'm hoping she knows something.

Of course no matter what, a complaint is a mentally ill patient vs a doctor...and I sure can't prove he didn't do an exam.

I am very sorry this has happened to you.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. You were trying to trust your health care professional.

Oh, I do understand what you are saying about complaints and not being taken seriously because of a history of mental health issues, It's extremely unfair! I am going through this now, as well.

I hope you can get things sorted out quickly.

Love and Prayers!

[bizi]

I once went to a walk in clinic for a tetnus shot the nurse practitioner look at he tiny puncture wound and said tetnus shot.
Later when I got the eob explanation of benefits I about had a cow. They were charged for minor surgery!!!!! When I brought up the fraud to the company they said that they would change the charges. When I asked about it later. they gave me a free coupon for a visit. They never did make the changes.
sigh
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

A quick follow-up from posts earlier today.

The failing furnaced was "red-tagged," which means the furnace is done! No reviving it. It was emitting both gas and carbon monoxide.
A crew is coming after work tomorrow to put in a furnace. They will work as far into the night as it takes to finish the installation. It surely helps to know the company boss/owner.

I have two area heaters going on each level of the house. I am a little leery of them. They are "bare bones" heaters. I am going to all levels, 1-3 to check on them. every 3 hours or so.

thanks for the support earlier today!

Much Love

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

I once went to a walk in clinic for a tetnus shot the nurse practitioner look at he tiny puncture wound and said tetnus shot.
Later when I got the eob explanation of benefits I about had a cow. They were charged for minor surgery!!!!! When I brought up the fraud to the company they said that they would change the charges. When I asked about it later. they gave me a free coupon for a visit. They never did make the changes.
sigh
bizi

I have had things like this happen. I call the insurer (the one being charged); they hop on it immediately!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Tonight was $5 movie night so I decided to see Star Wars. Was the first one in the theater so got to sit where I wanted to. Bunch of boys came in after me and started pelting me with popcorn, I recalled why I hate theaters. I turned around and asked them if they wanted to stay, cause if they kept it up I would complain. They stopped then a bunch more people came in, but still. It's why I like going in at 1 for the first showing. I like being the only one there. Pretty good ending to the whole Star Wars saga tho.

Good for you for speaking up! How rude of them! What are kids thinking?

Glad you've enjoyed the movie!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A quick follow-up from posts earlier today.


The failing furnaced was "red-tagged," which means the furnace is done! No reviving it. It was emitting both gas and carbon monoxide.

A crew is coming after work tomorrow to put in a furnace. They will work as far into the night as it takes to finish the installation. It surely helps to know the company boss/owner.


I have two area heaters going on each level of the house. I am a little leery of them. They are "bare bones" heaters. I am going to all levels, 1-3 to check on them. every 3 hours or so.


thanks for the support earlier today!


Much Love

Suckage!!

But thank god there is a decent company willing to truly help someone in need !!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

So it looks like it is time to switch GI doctors. And probably file a complaint against the current one. I'm waiting to ask my pdoc about all this before I do anything (and I'm stuck with this one through the elimination diet I think). Anyway, I thought it weird that my GI hasn't examined my bellyi but I figured he knew what he was doing and that maybe he was relying on the NPs assessment at my family dr in July or he thought he knew what was wrong so he skipped it.

Then yesterday I was in the patient portal and noticed that both times I've seen him he documented that my abdominal exam was normal. He has never touched me.

And now I'm remembering that my gallbladder wasn't particularly painful until my dr pressed on it and I nearly jumped to the ceiling. Exams are important.

I feel so stupid for not questioning this sooner. I'm a healthcare professional for pete's sake. I know better. I've listened to my own belly abnormally rumble with my stethoscope during the bad times. I know he should have too.

I really hope my pdoc can help me figure this out. They are in the same hospital system so I'm hoping she knows something.

Of course no matter what, a complaint is a mentally ill patient vs a doctor...and I sure can't prove he didn't do an exam.

I am so sorry you have had to go through all this, Rainbow. And if this GI guy in fact documented that he had done an exam that he had not done, well, obviously, that's a massive problem and quite shocking to me.

As I have said before, the surest way to receive subpar healthcare in the United States today is to have a legit DSM 5 diagnosis in your chart. It is a near-guarantee you will be unheard, not taken seriously, and just generally blown off--tragically, sometimes, until something really bad happens.

Since you're in healthcare, I won't mention what you already know, which is, of course, that, if you think there is still (and again, I don't know the whole time course here , so, sorry if this is already all resolved--sorry, but happy for you) some possible GB situation, you need a general surgeon, pronto. But you already know that.

Sending you healing vibes and comfort and honest, ethical practitioners. Thinking of you!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I am so sorry you have had to go through all this, Rainbow. And if this GI guy in fact documented that he had done an exam that he had not done, well, obviously, that's a massive problem and quite shocking to me.

As I have said before, the surest way to receive subpar healthcare in the United States today is to have a legit DSM 5 diagnosis in your chart. It is a near-guarantee you will be unheard, not taken seriously, and just generally blown off--tragically, sometimes, until something really bad happens.

Since you're in healthcare, I won't mention what you already know, which is, of course, that, if you think there is still (and again, I don't know the whole time course here , so, sorry if this is already all resolved--sorry, but happy for you) some possible GB situation, you need a general surgeon, pronto. But you already know that.

Sending you healing vibes and comfort and honest, ethical practitioners. Thinking of you!

Thanks BPcyclist. Most of the time at this hospital I get pretty good to great care. My psych dx follows me but it is a hospital that handles a lot of psych cases and my pdoc is a bulldog who will fight really hard for her patients. She's worked with me with several specialists for different things. I'm on an MAOI and have had surgery several times so there's been a lot of co-operation between surgery, anesthesia and psych to keep me safe. I've had some great anesthesiologists and surgeons who've been really respectful and cooperative with the MAOI and need for extra monitoring.

But.......this GI is apparently really bad. I don't think I'm even going to go back when I finish my elimination diet. I can start there with another dr and it will take the same amount of time to get in to another dr. as this one.

I did get my gallbladder out 2 years ago. I just meant you have to touch your patient to find out if there is pain sometimes (which you obviously know .

The worst thing that happened with mental health bias was actually a pdoc. I went into the regular hospital with a pretty good lithium toxicity and was in there 3 or 4 days. The general floors were full so I was stuck, ironically, on GI. They had no clue and admitted it freely. For some reason the intern cut most of my psych meds in half and took me off 4 mg of klonopin cold turkey. I couldn't sleep and knew I'd be withdrawing soon so when the pdoc came in I was thrilled because I knew he'd help. Not only did he not change my meds he walked out while I was still talking. I complained, he responded with a letter stating I had encephalopathy and was confused. I did not have encephalopathy and I was no confused. I was angry because he wouldn't listen and I knew what I was going to go through.

I'm scared that complaint will be similar and I'll just be accused of being confused or not knowing what was going on. But I think I have to complain.

Yikes, I've talked too much. This is just something I'm passionate about. I always thought I'd eventually change from OT to mental health advocacy or that I could do advocacy part time while on disability. It hasn't worked out but maybe someday.

What happened with the clozaril?

Wild Coyote, reading about your chilly house (bad furnace) reminded me that I got one of those heavy spice filled body wraps that can be heated up. You had mentioned them to me a while back, so I asked for one for Christmas from hubby. It's nice! Maybe if it's really chilly you and/or your mom could utilize yours to get a little cozier?