[Moose72]

I went back to sleep and dreamed I was lost at an airport and I still wanted my miscarried baby!

[Sunflower123]

I threw up in my sleep last night and started choking. Then I started shaking violently and all of my muscles clenched up. I remember my jaw and thighs hurting and I couldn’t catch my breath. Whatever happened last night scared me. I wasn’t able to even call for help. When it was over, I was very cold and bundled up and went back to sleep. Could it have been a seizure? Could it be the Lithium?

Hugs to all.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I threw up in my sleep last night and started choking. Then I started shaking violently and all of my muscles clenched up. I remember my jaw and thighs hurting and I couldn’t catch my breath. Whatever happened last night scared me. I wasn’t able to even call for help. When it was over, I was very cold and bundled up and went back to sleep. Could it have been a seizure? Could it be the Lithium?

Hugs to all.

Jennifer, that sounds extremely scary! I hope you will call a doctor as soon as you can reach one. Is there anyone you share a room with? Would you consider having someone stay with you tonight if you don't? If that happens again tonight, I hope you will go to the ER. But definitely please call a doctor tomorrow, if you don't.

It's definitely possible that could have been a seizure. If not, it is still very concerning. Do mention Lithium and any other medications you take.

Honestly, I wish you would go to the ER today, but I know how miserable ERs are.

Hugs. I am very concerned about you!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I threw up in my sleep last night and started choking. Then I started shaking violently and all of my muscles clenched up. I remember my jaw and thighs hurting and I couldn’t catch my breath. Whatever happened last night scared me. I wasn’t able to even call for help. When it was over, I was very cold and bundled up and went back to sleep. Could it have been a seizure? Could it be the Lithium?

Hugs to all.

Oh No! How very frightening!!!

I imagine there might be a few possible causes.
It's best ot see a doctor if possible.
I hope this never happens to you again!

I am very concerned, especially when you could not summon help.
This might not feel like it's warranted; however, just wanted to share we have these pendants which call emergency numbers whenever we push the button. This may seem like overkill; however, there are times when even having another person in the house is not enough.

I can think of at least several stories where friends have found themselves in unforeseen, life-threatening situations. My neighbors now all have these types of systems, too. People can use them or not, at any given time. I have my mom use one whenever she showers, whenever I am either not home and/or I am on a completely different floor of the house. I also use one if I am home alone, and am not feeling well. Just a thought.

I would like to suggest you sleep with your upper body (and head/ neck) elevated, at least until you understand more about what was/is going on for you. Some people elevate themselves by using pillows, etc, to elevate their upper body. Others sometimes elevate the bed itself by putting something under the legs of the bed (at the head of the bed). I would not take a chance on this happening again.

Please do consult with your physician. This can be very serious, life-threatening.

I am very thankful you are okay!
Please do take good care!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Oh No! How very frightening!!!

I imagine there might be a few possible causes.
It's best ot see a doctor if possible.
I hope this never happens to you again!

I am very concerned, especially when you could not summon help.
This might not feel like it's warranted; however, just wanted to share we have these pendants which call emergency numbers whenever we push the button. This may seem like overkill; however, there are times when even having another person in the house is not enough.

I can think of at least several stories where friends have found themselves in unforeseen, life-threatening situations. My neighbors now all have these types of systems, too. People can use them or not, at any given time. I have my mom use one whenever she showers, whenever I am either not home and/or I am on a completely different floor of the house. I also use one if I am home alone, and am not feeling well. Just a thought.

I would like to suggest you sleep with your upper body (and head/ neck) elevated, at least until you understand more about what was/is going on for you. Some people elevate themselves by using pillows, etc, to elevate their upper body. Others sometimes elevate the bed itself by putting something under the legs of the bed (at the head of the bed). I would not take a chance on this happening again.

Please do consult with your physician. This can be very serious, life-threatening.

I am very thankful you are okay!
Please do take good care!

Jennifer, They make wedge pillows. I'd suggest you get one to help keep your head propped up.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Jennifer, They make wedge pillows. I'd suggest you get one to help keep your head propped up.

Oh, yes! I had forgotten those. great idea!

I have just sent you info on PM, Jenifer.

Love to All!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

My brother called me. My nephew (who is in IOP) took my sister to the ER for psych-related issues. She also has bipolar disorder, but my b-i-l's behavior is surely the main trigger, according to what my brother said. That's definitely not hard to believe as he has a history of verbally and emotionally abusing my sister, living nephew, and late nephew.

My dad apparently called my brother demanding to go home from the assisted living, prematurely. We don't know what (or who) triggered that. We do not want or need that at this time. I told my brother to tell our dad to think about his children for a change, instead of only himself himself himself, which has been his lifelong tendency. We fear one of his vulture cronies may have influenced his sudden 180, but we're not sure. My brother will examine the visitor log. We have the power to do so.

I will not get involved with my father. My siblings know my involvement during such times does more harm than good. I do feel guilt given my siblings current health issues. I have reached out to my sister, leaving a vmx. I will be there for her.

If our father goes home, I especially feel for my brother since he lives in our dad's house. It's hard, folks. I love my brother. I'd probably want to invite my brother to stay with me, temporarily, if it came to it, but I believe my husband would possibly object. I love my brother dearly, but his extreme stress and anger can sometimes be quite triggering, itself. My family has always been...I can't even think of the right word.

My sister has been doing the lion's portion of the work regarding our father. I can't help but assume that contributed, too. It has to stop. If my dad does go home right away, he will be on his own. It's a hard decision to make, but we must take care of ourselves and not let ourselves be taken all the way down in the process.

I greatly admire your resolve to take care of yourself.
I think it takes outstanding insight and tremendous strength.
I hope all will be okay with you and with your family.

[MissDenim]

Hey everyone,

I hope everyone had a great holiday! New Years is just around the corner!

Christmas was fine, I guess. Shopping for Christmas gifts is stressful though, and a little overwhelming. I am kinda glad, and a little sad, that it's over. I took a break from the internet. I've done that a few times this year... and it's been good for me.

I finally went to see my pdoc. He put me on a stronger mood stabilizer, which is what I wanted. He replaced one of my meds with that and took away another so that I could take this medication that is supposed to help me sleep, prescribed by my primary care doctor. So, my mood has been not so great lately as I know it takes up to 4-6 weeks for each meds to take effect. I'm not sleeping well, which is also putting a damper on my mood.

Anyways, I hope everyone is well and 's to those who need it!

[Wander]

Still floating around in this post-hospitalisation. post-Christmas daze - but I am mostly happy. Yesterday I was trying on some old dress shoes in preparation for my cousin's engagement party. One of the straps was barely holding itself together. I love those shoes, and I have no money to buy new ones so I repaired them. This sounds like a simple thing, and it is, but for me it was a mile-stone. I haven't sown anything for years due to illness holding me back. I am not a confident, experienced sower. This is why I was so pleased that I successfully fixed my shoe. I accomplished something.

There are a lot of small positive changes in my thinking, behaviour, reactions, emotions, and cognition. A big shift certainly took place two weeks ago when I had that injection. It wasn't instant, and complete, but the PTSD has certainly calmed the f*** down. This is such a relief. Finally I feel the ability to truly hope returning. It is wonderful. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but also a lot of simple.good.life. For the last 21 years I have been in survival mode. Well the gears have shifted. Now I can build a life I am at peace with.

[LadyShadow]

Slept A LOT over the weekend - all I want to do is sleep. The love of my life is away in rehab and I am not coping well - he hasn't called me all weekend and I can't call him and I honestly want to just disappear. What's funny is I am not really symptomatic, the bipolar is under control even with the depression feelings. I get up, shower, eat even do my school work and reach out to my friends. I just genuinely miss him terribly - I miss the way he smells, his crooked smile, his beautiful hands and the way he kisses me.

Le sigh.

I feel really flattened by boredom. I've made the round of my activities and nothing is fun. That's about how i feel all Winter so welcome to my world. I got a lot done today. I bathed my dog. She hated it! I did two loads of laundry and mopped the floor. I restocked my pop. I ate healthy. I guess it was a good day until now when i've plowed into boredom. There's that ten dollar word 'anhedonia' which i guess applies but it's jargon. Hey: 'jargon' is a ten dollar word too! My puppy was sick all afternoon with a noisy belly but this evening she ate and drank and is resting comfortably so i hope she has recovered. I worry about her so much! My precious!

[~Christina]

I got to see my brother today ! Was much needed ! His wife showed up petted the dogs , I of course said hi and I don’t think she replied then turned away and walked into her house LOL !

Her and I have never gotten along well.. she’s Bipolar since age 13 I think. and refuses any and all treatment. My brother is a saint ! Married 36 years !!! She has ruined them financially so many times ! Crazy

We are now at our friends house. They purchased a camper and last visit in August they were fixing it up, well it’s done so we are staying it in. It smells musty and it stuffy out tonight. I get super bytchy if I’m sweating !! Ugh , we have a king size bed at home ... I believe this only has a full. I’m thinking I’ll likely come lay on this hard padded bench and try to sleep

I truly am ready to go home. Some very unexpected crap came up this trip so I just really want to go home , back to my bed, routine and quiet life.

[Nammu]

My ex husband's brother came for the wedding. Today he stopped by for a visit. We had a nice chat. He reminded me of the good things that there were about my ex. Not anything he said, just the physical resemblance. His wife has a strong English accent but thanks to my PBS watching I had no problems.

Exhausted from Christmas/wedding looking forward to a day off to just unwind.

I have therapy tomorrow morning, bright 'n early. I'm not sure what to talk about, though, so I kinda don't wanna go. I mean, I'm sure I can find *something* to talk about, but I've been feeling fine for a while, so I'm debating if I should cancel or not. I have another hour or so to decide if I want to cancel. (I have to leave a voicemail for my therapist with at least 24 hours notice.)

Otherwise, got about 8 hours of (broken) sleep last night. I fell asleep around 7pm and woke up at 4:30am, but I woke up at 1am and 2am and stayed up for a while.

Also, I need to prepare interview materials to interview some candidates for a job. I haven't started any of it yet (because I'm supposed to give each candidate questions based on their own resumes), and I really need to brush up on some engineering theory. (I know it pretty well, but I'm a little out of touch nowadays because I haven't used it recently. However, whoever starts the job will need to know it well.)

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I have therapy tomorrow morning, bright 'n early. I'm not sure what to talk about, though, so I kinda don't wanna go. I mean, I'm sure I can find *something* to talk about, but I've been feeling fine for a while, so I'm debating if I should cancel or not. I have another hour or so to decide if I want to cancel. (I have to leave a voicemail for my therapist with at least 24 hours notice.)

Otherwise, got about 8 hours of (broken) sleep last night. I fell asleep around 7pm and woke up at 4:30am, but I woke up at 1am and 2am and stayed up for a while.

Also, I need to prepare interview materials to interview some candidates for a job. I haven't started any of it yet (because I'm supposed to give each candidate questions based on their own resumes), and I really need to brush up on some engineering theory. (I know it pretty well, but I'm a little out of touch nowadays because I haven't used it recently. However, whoever starts the job will need to know it well.)

Hey Blue!

I am happy to see your post!
It's just great you are getting some decent sleep.

I know what I am doing in my T appt later this week. I am setting some goals for 2020. I think I might also cut down the frequency of appts.

Good luck in brushing up on the engineering knowledge! I know you'll do a great job!

I hope to catch up with you sometime soon!

My husband wants me to help him again with something that he's finally almost done with, after over two years. The deadline is early next month, which is pretty much upon us. I can't wait for us to be free of it finally. We need some weight lifted from our shoulders. I certainly do, given all of the issues in my family this past year, and other stressors I see in the future.

My brother said that our dad will stay at the assisted living through the end of January. I hope that is the case. Though it was likely a typo, in his text to me he wrote "Your father..." as if our dad wasn't his, too. He also said that my sister was not admitted to the hospital and would return home. I had left a very simple vmx and text for her, only saying "I love you and will always support you." She has yet to respond. I understand she must have so much stress that responding to a vmx or text is low priority. Nevertheless, I worry about her. I wish a weight was taken off all of our shoulders. It's so hard when it piles on and on.

Not seeing my psychiatrist and therapist (especially psychiatrist) for so long makes the burden even heavier. Of course it's just coincidence that all of this builds again around the holidays.

Sometimes I look at the possibility of moving abroad as a treacherous challenge. Other times I see it as an opportunity to escape.There would be much grief, but there would be grief staying put, as well.

[wildflowerchild25]

I have been sleeping sooo much. I guess that’s what teachers and paras do on winter break! I just don’t like how I need so much sleep to function. I can sleep twelve hours and still need a nap. I fall asleep at work all the time. My therapist said she had another client like that and it turns out she had a form of narcolepsy. That’s very rare so I doubt that’s my problem. I probably need to get a sleep study done.

It supposed to be raining all day here today. I already made breakfast instead of going out (points for saving money!) and I’ll make some lunch too. I really don’t want to go out. I was supposed to go visit my father in law but he’s sick with a stomach virus. And actually asked me if we still wanted to come down! Um, NO THANKS.

I’ll take the time to do laundry and some other chores around the house. Trying to find motivation to put Christmas decorations away. I want the tree gone, I want my house back! I still have a giant bag of gifts from my grandparents house in my trunk, as well as a bunch of stuff my son bought with his Walmart gift cards. So much to put away! And only three days left of break to do it in! I better get off PC and get cracking!

[Nammu]

You'd think that being back home in my own bed I'd sleep great. You'd be wrong. Had a horrible toss and turning night. Sir joined me to ask me what I was laying around for. Then I fell asleep and dreamed I had a largish small dog, a mixed breed with pale Sandy gold curly hair. I parked in a crowded lot at a mall and carried her on her back with a blanket tied on like a cape all the way to the other end of the busy mall. But when I got to the vet place the sign said closed at 6pm. It was just after 6. So I stood there in the waiting room talking to some guy who was just using it for a place to read the paper. Then another person came in with a large dog and a tech came to let them in and said I could come too. We walked a long long ways past lots of animals and owners, mostly dogs and lizards. Finally we met the vet and she gave us a mor shot and asked what I do for a living that I couldn't get there before 6. But before I could answer she was talking to another owner. I started to walk back to pay but woke up and Sir was sitting by my head with his paw on my shoulder! I'm sure he influenced my dream!

[Moose72]

Annoyed with Peter today. Dunno. Im juat really irritated at him today. Hes being woe is me about everything.And hes trying to read my texts with his reading glasses upside down. Hes saying it stuff i do or dont do. **** that. Im gonna leave here soon i think. I know one reason peter annoys me: he's always criticizing and questioning my every move. He's toxic. I just dont know what to say to him so I just sit and stare at him with my head in my hands, elbows on the table. Why do you do this and that and this? He complains a lot too and everything is my fault. So it is- i need to stay away from him. I guess I got into all the presents.

[~Christina]

Again my friend asked me to go horseback riding again !! All 3 previous trips I say the same thing physically I just can’t and won’t risk being hurt !

Steve was up earlier today and he helped then with putting up a fence. I was lying in the camper, my breathing is worse , my pain is worse. I’m running on fumes. I get up and I hear “ sleeping beauty is up”

Steve tells me they mean no harm , or when they think we are crazy for taking medications , it’s just af !!!

[bpcyclist]

Well, after much reflection and some reading of an interesting article from Blanche, I have concluded that I am probably still manic. I think that is what this sleep stuff is all about. Or largely about, anyhow. I think my weird sleep--when I do get to sleep--is basically the equivalent of racing thoughts while asleep. Racing dreams, if you will. I think this is why I am so un-rested even when I do sleep. I am manic.

I think this brings up an interesting thing about the DSM 5. You know, it's just a book. People get symptoms that may fail to satisfy all diagnostic criteria, so you 'can't put a name to it,' allegedly. I think that is poppycock. It you are symptomatic, you are symptomatic. Period. End of convo.

So, anyway, feeling a bit better about myself. Seeing psychiatrist end of week. I can make it. I've done it before. Thanks to everyone for their support. I really appreciate you all!!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Again my friend asked me to go horseback riding again !! All 3 previous trips I say the same thing physically I just can’t and won’t risk being hurt !

Steve was up earlier today and he helped then with putting up a fence. I was lying in the camper, my breathing is worse , my pain is worse. I’m running on fumes. I get up and I hear “ sleeping beauty is up”

Steve tells me they mean no harm , or when they think we are crazy for taking medications , it’s just af !!!

Oh, the stories!

So tell me, anything in common with them anymore?

Hopefully you can "get outta Dodge" soon!

[yellow_fleurs]

I had my most mentally healthy trip home in a awhile. I've always been stressed and off balance mentally in recent trips and it's made it quite a struggle. Well, my brain was just better clicked in place this time. Not sure how else to describe it, but that really is the feeling I get, like things are back in gear. Saw family and friends and felt less paranoid towards my SO this time. Oh, and we were watching a family member's dog and he's so cute it just put me in a good mood. The trip back was stressful, but that's traveling for you. Hit some bad turbulence, and I did get anxious and my palms got all sweaty, but I managed to keep from total panic, so that's a positive. Definite improvement in the flight anxiety even if it's not gone. I am ready to see my psychiatrist and discuss what's going on. I just want some answers, but need to brace myself for the likely lack of answers I'll get just based on my record of seeing doctors for symptoms. I am spending NYE alone, but that's okay, I'll use the time to relax. Hope everyone is doing well, I know I haven't checked in in awhile. Sending compassion!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Again my friend asked me to go horseback riding again !! All 3 previous trips I say the same thing physically I just can’t and won’t risk being hurt !

Steve was up earlier today and he helped then with putting up a fence. I was lying in the camper, my breathing is worse , my pain is worse. I’m running on fumes. I get up and I hear “ sleeping beauty is up”

Steve tells me they mean no harm , or when they think we are crazy for taking medications , it’s just af !!!

I'm sorry you are being treated so horribly, Christina. I hope you feel better very soon!

Jennifer 1967, how are you? I assume you had a better sleep last night than the one before?