Bipolar check-in #42

Hi Jesters Rags, everyone/anyone is welcome to post here.

Feeling really well today. No anxiety which is a rare thing for me.

You can post here as much as you want. I am sorry to hear you are suffering. Therapy sounds like a good idea. With the right therapist you will find some relief, and hopefully make good progress. Be careful with the Xanax as if you run out after developing a dependance on it the experience will be awful. Could you see your psychiatrist soon to get a script and discuss the right dose for you? Take care.

H and I stayed in bed most of the day talking. He’s depressed about things changing and we agree that I’m still paranoid. We both agree we’re handling this badly. I told him I want to be more independent. We talked more and decided my normal anxiety/paranoia is quite high but even though I can hide it now this is still affecting our lives negatively. Instead/even with a service dog he wants to figure out a way for me to drive. His first reaction was “your replacing me with a dog”. I told him everything I’ve been thinking a lot of things. We went shopping he cooked diner. Now we’re watching a show now. Tomorrow we go back to our busy lives.

Apart from an ongoing moderate Fibromyalgia flare-up I am doing well. The anxiety is easing, although I do still take high doses of Clonazepam. I was on very high doses when out of my mind with anxiety while IP in December (about 8-10 mg a day). My pdoc wants me to very slowly reduce that dose to avoid rebound anxiety. I had tried reducing faster and suffered for it. My days are filled with organising everything in my life that got put on the back burner while ill with PTSD last year, and resting. My mood is stable, and the PTSD has calmed down. Life is good. I am not used to being mentally well. Last week I told my parents that not having a mood episode for the last 10 months has made a life kind of boring in a way. I am used to constantly experiencing the highest of highs, and/or lowest of lows. Not fun, but certainly eventful. It is just taking time getting used to being stable. I do love it, and do no wish any Bipolar/PTSD symptoms to return. I will enjoy each healthy day I have, and live in hope the darkness never returns.

I’m sorry you don’t have more support at home. I think finding a T would really help you. I find Therapy as important as meds many times.

Are there any Bipolar support groups in your area ? You might feel less alone.

Post here as much as you need too. We all “ get it “ here

I’m glad you had a great conversation

Very tired today. Slept for 15 hours on and off. Feel nice and mellow tho.

I am frustrated and I am on the fence about continuing to take the lithium with it effecting my thyroid....tsh was 8.
On one side I feel a bit more stable on the lithium. I think the lamictal stopped working. I still take geodon 80mg twice a day.
I am afraid it is too late for my thyroid....damage is done...no going back. But maybe that is not true.
I see my GP in the morning....I will ask her opinion. She should have the full thyroid panel results by then.
my option is to stop lithium and start on some new cocktail.
maybe try tegretol?????I don't even know if that is a good mood stabilizer.

I don't know!!!!!!
bizi

Been a mixed bag this week. I got the bill for my two hospital visits, including one inpatient stay. Nearly $15000. I have no idea how I'm going to pay that. I'll chat with the hospitals tomorrow and see if I can't get some kind of financial assistance. They better, considering how poor I am and how little they have me working at my job.

Finding a new therapist has been equally "fun." I went to the clinic in my neck of the woods and found out they're not going to be able to see me until March. It's a little better for the psychiatrist, but I still have to wait until the end of the month. Thank goodness my old therapist is still willing to meet with my over Skype in the meanwhile.

On the plus side, celebrated a birthday on Thursday, a milestone one. I said several very bad words when I realized I was 30, but then I had some Indian food and all was well. I also went to the bookstore and saw a movie. All in all, a success!

I’m really glad you see your GP tomorrow so you won’t have to sit and think about for very long.

I’ve known people who have borderline thyroid levels who quit lithium and thyroid recovered.

But if your on a Med cocktail that is overall working well then I think I’d lean towards staying on it. Tegretol is actually one of the meds I have never been on.

It does have the standard side effects but it’s very clear no alcohol.

There doesn’t seem to be any issues of taking it along with Geodon.

Hopefully your GP can help you decide what’s best for you

Happy Birthday !!!

I hope things can get sorted out for you soon

This is such a lovely post about the love of your current home. I hope I find such a place in the future.

Hi bizi. I'm sure you'll come up with the right decision about Lithium. I know of people whose thyroid at least partially recovered after stopping Lithium. I also know some, including myself, whose didn't. The lucky thing is that Synthroid is usually very effective with few or no side effects.

Tegretol XR (carbamazpine ER) is my main moodstabilizer and has been for a good 8 years. It serves me well along with Seroquel XR and my other meds. It's likely that Tegretol XR does a large percentage of the work. A negative about Tegretol is that it has several medication interactions, including with some of the other medications I take. I can still take them together, but dose adjustments are necessary. It's especially important for all doctors to know I take it. It has affected the type of birth control I've needed. The interactions are often Tegretol reducing effectiveness of other meds, but sometimes it goes the other way. I have almost no side effects from Tegretol XR. A little clumsiness, and if my dose is too high, bouts of double vision. Tegretol ended an almost one year period of musical hallucinations I had years back, plus more. I appreciate that greatly!

Happy belated birthday, Aurelius!

Hospital bills are indeed beyond outrageous!

Still feeling great bar my headaches that is. They suck I've been up since 3am with feeling sick and sever headache. It died down this morning so I went to my volunteering. I'm just chilling out before my 1st singing lesson eeek it's in 1.5 hours time at 7:45pm. It's crazy weather here we have sever winds and torrential rain. Just heard on the news the west coast of Scotland is severely affected. Schools and boat ferries were all closed eeek.

Happy birthday Aurelius!

Took too of the ambien and slept wonderfully. Dreamt I was back in college and books came with Star Trek clothes and toys. . Woke up early but didn't want to get up, it was great to just enjoy bed. Soft comfortable and warm.

Happy Birthday, Aurelius! It sounds like it was a good one.

Today I'm attending a Wellness group that my therapist is facilitating. I think it's all women. I have no idea what to expect, but JFC - at least it's a reason to get dressed and go somewhere.

Haven't updated in here for awhile.

So, things are moving along with the application process for the new apartment complex. I'm just waiting on one document to arrive in the mail then they said I'd be set to move in. I'm excited but stressed at the same time.

One of my cats is very sick, and I'm worried she might have cancer. I have to go to the vet this week to have her examined. She's an older cat, and I'm scared that it may be time for her to get put to sleep. I don't want her to be in pain though. She's such a wonderful girl, my little snuggle bug. She is the most affectionate sweetheart in the world. I love her so much.

I have a toothache so I have to go to the dentist to get that checked out tomorrow. Hoping I don't need a root canal.

I'm stressed, very very stressed. I want to go to sleep and just wake up in the new apartment with everything done and taken care of so I can settle in. And of course I'm very worried about my cat.

Feeling fat today. Otherwise Im good. Listening to the dryer run. Getting clothes caught up. N3 is taking over n2's old room and finding things! A ton of laundry that needs/ed washed and FOUR wheat pennies! My aunt collects them and has a lot. I give her the ones I find. Back on Thanks giving I had n2 bring me the two I had at the time but she lost them! Dont ask me how- no idea. A 5-minute drive and she lost them. She "put them somewhere safe". Anyway ... Now I have six! Yippee!

Been using my Keurig instead of Starbucks. I do need milk/cream in my coffee though but I have given up sugar in my coffee. On rare occasions, I drink it black.

I want a dog but can't afford the vet bills. You can get pet insurance but thats not easy either. My friend had it through her old job for her hedgehog.

I am getting my hair cut Wednesday. Im looking forward to having a tidy hair style but NOT the mirrors! They have mirrors everywhere! And its a new stylist as my old one for years apparently doesnt work there anymore?? She only worked 2 days a week but still we- kids, me, my mom and her husband- all liked her.

Finally fell asleep about 4 AM and slept until about 10, which is great, for me. Not psychotic or manic this morning, also great. Grateful for all that. Just basically holding on until my next pdoc visit in a day or two. We will try to get a game plan for everything--sleep, mania, pschosis, suicidality. No idea what he is going to want to do. Am also now having this bizarre, quite spooky neuro SE to my Abilifry, where my arms start shaking like crazy up and down when I am riding the bike. Cannot ride like that. Can't find any other reports of this anywhere. It is not TD and not a tremor. Just weird. I am so weird. Plus, I have Periodic Limb Movement Disorder now, so balancing all these neuro issues with effective treatment will be tricky. But Dr. C can do it. He's a genius.

Anyhoo, just holding on. I can make it. I've made it this far.

Sending hugs and love to everyone.

I hope your kitty will be OK after seeing the vet.

Hoping your tooth is just a minor fix.

How does the coffee (or espresso) taste from your Keurig? I have a Tassimo and the espresso we buy for it is really great. It is a huge savings. Sometimes I think about going to the cafe just to have somewhere to go, but then decide not to because of the price...and really the taste is so comparable.

When I go to the hair salon, I don't wear contact lenses. Then I don't really see anything until after-the-fact when I put my glasses on. It's usually always nice. It better be since I spend big $$$ there.

bpcyclist, I'm glad to read that your mood is a bit more level today. That sucks that Abilify affects your cycling. I used to bike, but on certain medications I feel a bit off balance. Not that I couldn't bike, but it makes me anxious. That, and I sometimes get so distracted that I end up in a ditch.

Today was OK. When I went to the grocery store my friend (who also has bp1) was working. I asked him how he was and he said he was really tired. He looked tired. I, on the other hand, could honestly say "OK" unlike several days before today. I was happy that I planned my shopping trip very carefully to include lots of sale items, though only ones that I actually wanted/needed. Between "on sale savings" and "PPC & Str Coupons" I saved $45! That represented almost 30% savings total than if I had bought the same items without sales/coupons. I was proud of myself! I bought an on sale bottom round roast and cut it up into beef stew cubes and vacuum sealed it all for the freezer. Then I compared the price at a discount grocery store, per pound, and my efforts saved me about 50% compared to if I had purchased pre-cubed beef. I done such things with chicken, but never with beef for stewing.

I wanted to go to this gourmet shop and buy one of their big oatmeal raisin cookies. I have REALLY craved an oatmeal cookie. But instead of paying $2 for their big cookie, I came home and made a 1/3 batch of my own homemade. That gives me 9 medium-sized cookies for a fraction of the price. They look just as yummy.

I am bound and determined to cut our grocery spending this year!

I went to the pharmacy. As predicted, she tried to give me my Latuda without applying the coupon savings card I gave them about four months back. They tried to get away with that last month. With the coupon savings, my co-pay is $15 per month for Latuda. Without, it is $85. Last month I was fresh home from Florida with bronchitis. I went to the pharmacy with my husband, but he was paying. Luckily my husband noticed the astronomical price before we left. We demanded the coupon be applied. The pharmacist didn't know what he was doing so made me come back the next day to get the refund. I just HATE having to run back and forth to the pharmacy numerous times per month!

What if I had paid that extra $45 at the grocery store and $70 extra copay at the pharmacy? Who here can easily spare an extra $115 in a given day, for no good reason? $115 is more than I paid (after coupons/sales savings) at the grocery store today, and I got a whole lot!

You have to be vigilant!

My colon gaurd kit was delivered this morning and I dropped it off at 4:30. So, that's that done. All my preventive physical stuff is done for a year. With any luck I'll not have to see the doc until 2021. I think my eyeballs are due in July or August tho.