Bipolar check-in #42

Sounds like a fine time indeed! I hope you have a wonderful time.

You'll never believe what happened last night.

I can't.

The eye issue came back(!!!!!) You can't imagine how fervently I had hoped I'd never have to deal with it again EVER. But here it is. Fortunately, I had some of the drops that ended up working on it last time, so I put some in as soon as it hit (it gains speed incredibly fast). It seems to have slowed the quick progression having been able to get on it so early.

This morning, I looked at the box and it had a refill on it! YEA! So I can just go over and get some more and bypass the doc visit. Not like I'm not well-familiar with this crap.

Wish me luck. I need this **** GONE! (FOR GOOD!)


Sending hugs and compassion. Sorry not to respond more individually. Having a hard time keeping up.

Edited to add -- yesterday was also my first PT appt for my spine/shoulder/arm/hand issue. It has been a major problem. I am a VERY motivated patient.

This is for those who have reached out to me and generally show compassion and concern for me. I wanted to write a message here so it can be seen by those who care and forgotten when it not on the most recent page anymore or for those who don’t care.

I just wanted to say I’m going to step back from posting for a while. I’ve realized that for months I’ve done nothing but contribute negativity and personal woes without making any positive change in the process. I’m not willing anymore to be so fragile and vulnerable and expect someone else to carry me along. You’ve been wonderful, and I’m not leaving forever – but until I get my life in order and can stop being who I am… I think it’s best.
Take care guys, I’ll still be reading and be around.

MarcusAurelius

Oh no! I hope you feel better as soon as possible!

I'm a car owner again. All signed and covered. I bought the insurance last night and went to the library to print it. Boy the printing process their has gotten complicated. All in the name of security! Then today went for a longer test drive and figured out the buttons. Signed over half my savings and got the keys. Been running around ever since getting last minute stuff before the storm hits. 5-8 inches of snow with ice will hit us tomorrow. Had to get cheese! If I've got cheese I can survive a shut in.

Again? EYE just cannot believe it!

Ugggh! I hope it goes away quickly!

PT!!! Good for you!!! "Spine/shoulder/arm/hand" sounds quite painful!

Much Love!

I hope you feel better very soon.. are you able to push fluids? You don’t want to become dehydrated

So sorry your going through this

Oh my god woman !! You need new eyeballs the ones you have must be faulty !! I am so glad you have a refill !!

I hope PT improves you quickly

So exciting!!!!! I’d be out running around too

Snow with Ice ? No no thank you Id be sitting at home too

Congratulations on your new ride

Honestly, I am stable. I'm so stable it's scary!

Hear me out guys, I think this may be my anxiety or just me self-sabotaging.

I am on a good med-combo, working full-time and I have been sleeping well.

My boyfriend comes home in less than 5 days and I'm so excited!!!

So why this agonizing feeling of mania over the horizon, waiting, lurking and scheming to ruin my life???!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad thoughts STOP!!!!

Appt with Rheumatologist went well. We are going to try Xeljanz it’s a pill twice a day not a biologic shot... but it’s another Medication that can severely impact your ability to fight infections.

They have to get it approved through my insurance and that can take a couple weeks.. hurry up and wait.

It “can” show results in a few weeks but 3-4 months to show full effect.

I just want to get a break from the pain.

Hugs!

I hope it is a speedy process getting the approval and that it works well with no side effects! Fingers crossed,....toes too.

Were you able to get your injections in your fingers?

Hope the approval process is fast.

Thank you thank you

Thanks ! I so hope approval goes quick too

Actually no injections ... after he poked, prodded ,wiggled , stretched and twisted he said he knows there’s inflammation and some visible swelling but the joints aren’t super warm or hot at this point. He prefers to hold off unless the joints gets physically hot or someone just can’t stand it another minute.

There are standard guidelines he follows.. joints can only handle so much Lidocaine and steroid injections before it wears on tendons and makes matters even worse.

So we are hoping the Zeljanz kicks in quick and I can hold out but if I just can’t he said he would.

It’s been awful for almost a month so I’ll just add it to the pile of all my physical pain.. god it’s a huge pile LOL .. I have to laugh because if I let one tear drop I’m gonna drown.

Oh I think you should allow yourself a good cry.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Tonight, I’m still flying high. Not too high, just at cruising altitude.

Thanks Bizi

I continue to feel better, physically, but won't feel totally back to normal until one GI issue is resolved.

Hubby found that he cracked a tooth yesterday and it hurts. It wasn't long ago that he had a molar cracked. They sent him to an oral surgeon for the latter, but the surgeon wouldn't do anything because of hubby's blood pressure. His blood pressure has since improved (on blood pressure medicine), but he skipped the oral surgeon because of the cost. Half of the molar came out a while ago. He simply pulled it himself. Now he thinks he wants to go to his esteemed dentist friend in Prague, CZ (in May) to get both taken care of. Would you believe that for the amount of money oral surgeons want in the US, he can go to Europe and have it done? His friend will even do the work for almost nothing, to boot. No, we have no dental insurance in the US. Even if hubby elected for it, it wouldn't cover costs beyond $1,200. Believe me that the dental work hubby needs would far far exceed $1,200 in the US.

Actually, hubby wants to book a trip for both of us in May. We would fly to Barcelona, Spain then travel around southern France looking for potential areas to eventually live in. [Barcelona is not too far from the French border.] Then we would fly to Prague. This sounds great, but is very scary for me on many levels. I talked about it at length with hubby. May is when I most commonly become manic (full blown, even). Airports, time differences, hectic out of the normal schedules, and excessive visits with friends/family (in Czech Rep) are other extreme triggers for my mania. The last time we went to Europe I became manic and even psychotic at the end, even bringing hubby to tears. The whole idea of moving abroad is a huge stressor. Hubby wants to consult with a real estate agent there, like we did the last time we were in Europe, though that was a different country. Hubby suggested he leave me in France, while he is in Czech Republic. Leave me alone in France? That sounds dangerous! I suggested I'd join him to Prague, but just stay in the hotel a lot while he visits his multitudes of friends. He doesn't want to stay with his sister because they fight easily.

I applied for a Leave of Absence from work - I've been struggling and pdoc suggested it. I'm only part-time and I haven't worked there long so I hope it is approved.

I got my Abilify shot today... I hope it helps my mood and psychosis... I'm tired of everything right now...

The winter storm has arrived. Wish I had a fireplace. Supposed to get 5-8 inches maybe with ice. I got everything we need for the next few days and we plan to hole up till Tuesday.

Fireplaces are so nice. I had one at my previous house. Your plan to hole up until Tuesday sounds cozy! Stay safe.

we're getting hit with it tomorrow. fortunately, I have a garage now where I can park my car, so I don't have to dig myself out or clean the car!

no one knows how much we're getting. reports vary... I've seen anywhere from 2 inches up to 6 inches, which I suppose isn't too bad for us. what I do dread is the annual February blizzard. I know we have one coming. we never go a year without one!

stay warm

I bought some chocolate milk from wal-mart this morning and it had giant chunks of ice in it! yuck! I'm going to try it again in a few mins to see if all the ice has melted yet.

today is going alright, but I haven't done any work yet. I've been waiting on someone to do something and they didn't do it, so I've legit been doing nothing all day. I don't want to have to work on the weekend, but I will do that if need be since I'm evidently not working today.

I suppose I could do some cleaning up around here. My place is getting messy again and I have to stay on top of things before things get worse.

Mood is okay. I met with my therapist today after she screwed me over on an appt.