To quit all treatment

It feels wrong to start my own thread, but this doesn't belong in the Check-In thread.

I have been thinking about discontinuing everything related to this disorder. I don't think the meds are doing much for me. I'm not truly taking advantage of my therapy sessions despite having a marvelous T. .... And ECT is inconvenient at two hours away as well as expensive. The hospital has granted us financial assistance, but the pdoc bills independently as does the anaesthesiology group.


I'm not sure why exactly I bring this up. I need help examining these ideas I guess.

Hi Daonnachd! Is this a sudden idea or have you been considering it for awhile? How much do you think ECT is helping you? What was life like without meds, and ECT? I can't really give advice, but trying to get a sense of how this would affect you. Certainly a topic to have with a mental health professional, and maybe not something you'd want to jump into all at once. Like if you stopped meds, maybe you'd want your T in case you become unstable so they can help you spot it.

That’s a tough one. I know if you are at the point of ECT, which you have been for some time, that your symptoms must be severe. I also appreciate expensive costs as I have a private pay pdoc as well and the $150 a visit can be tough sometimes, especially when payment plans aren’t an option (was it you that told me you were paying $200...sorry but it’s been a while so I don’t recall who that was). I would discuss it in depth with your wife and take her opinion very seriously as it will also effect her. I would likely even toss the idea up with t and the pdoc. Who knows, maybe your t will have some ideas to help you get more out of therapy. All in all, I would say tread lightly. I would always recommend this but sometimes an extra reminder is needed. I don’t think you’re planning to jump into this. You wouldn’t have posted here if that were the case but no matter what, I’d just suggest being very cautious!

This has been percolating for some time.
ECT helps without a doubt.
Before meds and ECT (mostly ECT) I was most of the time depressed, quite depressed.
I don't see my T for 2 more weeks, but I'm scheduled for ECT Friday the 7th of Feb. I will talk with my ECT pdoc about this then.

Cashart, your idea of talking to my wife about this is a very good one, something I hadn't thought of. Thanks.
I know what my T will want, that I continue with her.

Yes, I will tread lightly and go cautiously. I will talk with all my professional support about this. Talking with all of you here first will set me up for those conversations.

Hi Daonnachd! You wrote ECT is "inconvenient at two hours away" as well as expensive--long drives in the winter with shorter daylight can particularly be an issue.

If ECT has been working for you and you have a "marvelous" therapist, maybe some way can be worked out with your providers for you to continue.
Finding something that helps is not that easy.

I hope things work out well for you!

Rick, you're definitely right in that finding something that helps is not that easy. I'm just so discouraged with everything now for various reasons.

this sounds impulsive to me. and to think that you had not thought about talking to your wife about it????? That sounds rather odd.
Were you suicidal before ect?
Is there such a things as monthly treatments>?
Please don't do anything rash.
I would hate for your to crash and burn......
are you bored?
Have your restarted any hobbies? learned any new interests?
I have been trying to follow along......
I am sorry if this seems harsh , not meaning to be.
keep posting and

by all means starting your own thread was a great idea!!!!
bizi

That you require ECT should tell you something, However, you thinking this through, like you are, is smart thing to do.

Hey, Dao. Look, I don't remember what all your meds are--sorry. But if you got to the place where regular ECT was required, you know what that means about the seriousness of your illness and in particular, your depression. They don't even consider ECT for people with garden variety depression. This is serious stuff you have been contending with. And good for you for being so brave to face it head-on. Huge respect for you.

I've posted about this before elsewhere, but any time someone with bipolar talks about d/c'ing all their meds, I am required to just remind us all that, if you do, in fact, have bp disorder, and you do stop your mood stabilizeers, your risk of a big recurrence in the first year is extremely high. Probably about 90% or so. It has been well-studied by smart people. Of course, there are people who manage to do well off meds, I know that. But the data show that they are in the extreme minority, if you actually have the disease.

I stopped all mine in 2012 because I decided in didn't have the disorder any more. I did great for 11 months, mayb a little hypo, but nothing too much. Then, at the beginning of the 12th month, I had a massive mixed recurrence that required a huge amount of work to get under control. It was just awful. Had I had any idea what was coming, I would not even have considered stopping my medication.

Just a story for you.

I am currently uninsured. My Provigil is $800 a month. My pdoc is $175. It is not a good situtaion. I frequently have to forego food in order to afford all my medication. It's just the way it is. I am very familiar with the value of peanut butter. I know how hard it can be. But just talk to your wife and your T and your ECT team. Tell them how you are feeling. See what they think and feel. This is a big decision. You need to get it right.

This is what I hate about the state of healthcare in this country (the cost of treatment, the inconvenience of treatment, etc.). Things like ECT would likely be more widespread (and thus convenient) if more people could afford it because there would be a greater demand. That said, I don't blame you for becoming frustrated with ECT etc.. It's BS the way this country operates sometimes. I understand that doctors need to make a living, but at the same time, these forms of treatment create a huge financial burden on people who need them the most. I mean, how do we expect people who are on disability or low income to afford such treatment? It's @ss backwards.

As far as therapy goes -- Well, that's up to you. But if you were to quit ECT, I would recommend for you to stick with your therapist for a while. You may not be getting much out of your therapy sessions now, but if you get a resurgence of symptoms because you're not doing ECT anymore, you may want her assistance, if that makes sense.

Another thing -- have you come up with therapy goals? Sometimes we need goals in therapy in order to make progress with things going on in our lives. They give us direction and motivation. I'm not saying you need to continue therapy. I'm just saying that sometimes we hit a roadblock because we don't have any goals. But it's possible you've learned everything you can learn from therapy and thus don't need it anymore. In that case, I'd say I completely understand why you're thinking about quitting therapy. Definitely don't spend money on something you're not benefitting from.

I agree with all that was said, and am concerned when people up and decide to quit all treatment. Why? My experiences and my youngest nephew's. That nephew lost his life because of it. It's not a joke. He's dead. Dead. Dead!

I found ECT to be helpful at not only easing my depression, but also making me more responsive to medications, when my bipolar disorder had been mostly med resistant before. I know that several people here stopped medications and are doing well using healthy lifestyle and coping skills. I respect those efforts. However, I would rather take at least a small dose of some moodstabilizer rather than nothing. That can be more helpful than nothing and still be little enough not to cause side effects, or significant ones. Then if something happens, you don't start from nothing.

Hate taking pills? Then maybe stop eating peas and corn, too. Both include some swallowed whole, for the most part. Think the latter is OK, but not the former? That's all in most people's heads, in my view. And yet many are willing to take OTC fish oil (multiple horse pills) or vitamin D, or whatever. Oh...."But taking OTC fish oil still keeps my body pure pure pure."

Sorry if my post rubs anyone the wrong way. It is written with only good intentions in mind. I really care about everyone here.

I hope you will consider ALL option before quitting Treatmens, @Daonnachd. It is a MAJOR decision. Personally I would be against it, but it is your decision. Definitely discuss it with your Wife. Also your Therapist and Pdoc. Even if you don't agree with what they're saying, at the very least you'll get professional opinions and you'll be aware of the consequences and potential risks.Please stay safe, we care about you and we aren't the only ones! I am wishing you the absolute BEST OF LUCK! KEEP FIGTHING! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Daonnachd, your Family, your Friends, your Wife, your Therapist, your Pdoc, your Doctors, your Relatives, your Nurses, your Social Workers and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

My wife's afraid of ECT so I try not to bring it up with her. Was I suicidal? Yes, but I'm an experienced patient now and should be better able to cope with it on my own. That's the core of my reasoning.
I'm on "monthly" ECT already. (Actually every 4 weeks, but close enough)
I'm drawing and painting, not bored, but haven't taken up anything new.
Thank you for your time and input.


To everyone: I'm reading your notes closely and seriously. I very much appreciate your candor and perspective.

Please don't quit all treatment all at once, Daonnachd. I'm all for you trying to stop maybe the meds or ECT right now, but stopping everything is just reckless. I agree that you should keep the therapist if you do make a decision that could lead to a relapse of symptoms (or if you really don't like therapy, stay with meds/ECT and stop seeing your T).
Hoping the best for you

There's no doubt that I benefit from ECT. I'm just dealing with mounting debt.

Hi Guy!

I am so sorry you are in the health care jam of lack of affordability.
Do you have a university hospital nearby? (Maybe the one you go to is such?) I'd just wanted to mention the university hospital here has separate billing for doctors and use of facilities. However, they are both under one name/system, so when they grant financial aid, it applies to all services rendered, including the physician's bills.

Just wondering if you might have a health care option like this, while still continuing ECT?

Do you belong to a religious/spiritual "group?" I am mentioning this as many of these organizations in my area have grants available to families in need of health care, food, housing, etc.

I am very concerned about you.
You have been given lots of great advice!
I will just give you a hug for now and will give this more thought.

Much Love to You and to Your Family!!!

@bpcyclist: I'm not quoting you here because I don't know how to answer. Each section of what you wrote made me stop and think about my own situation with your words overlaying everything like a transparency. I greatly appreciate what you've said.

Hey, Blue. Your logic regarding keeping my T makes sense, particularly since she doesn't charge us anything. She only collects what the insurance will pay her.

As to goals: I think I have neglected goals largely because life is generally moderated by ECT. My mood swings have been minor since 2015 when I started ECT, I think. When we last met she did encourage me to set a goal of more cycling.

Heya, BirdDancer. I don't have a problem with swallowing pills. It's not that. They just don't seem to do much though like you, I think they may be more effective since starting ECT.
Sharing your experience gives me pause. The loss of your nephew is deeply saddening. I feel there is nothing I can say here which would honour him enough. Your words have touched me, know that.

@MickeyCheeky, I thank you for your encouragement and expression of concern. It's good to feel your support and that of others here you represent with your words.

Heya, spikes. You make an appealing suggestion - that of keeping at least one of the three. In reading what all of yez have had to say this morning, it makes most sense to stay with my T. She can help if things go wonky and she doesn't cost anything to me. I don't consider myself to be reckless, but you may be right.

Thanks, Daonnachd! My bit about the pill swallowing wasn't really directed at you, but a general statement. Please forgive my little rant. I do get worked up when I see posts about quitting meds, because of my grief from losing my nephew.

I really do care about you and all others here.

Heya, WC. The hospital I now use for ECT, though not the closest hospital, is the closest with ECT available.


I do belong to a church, though I feel a bit rocky about that due to their view that women are not fully equal to men. So I would struggle to accept any money from them, if you know what I mean. That's complicated though... Nevertheless, it's an idea I will look into. Thank you for your love.

I wrote my T with a question connected to my thought of quitting, trusting that she would give me an honest answer. I asked: Am I a waste of your time?
Her response doesn't answer directly. She says: This sounds like a question coming from a depressed place. I hope that's not true. I see our time together now as reinforcing the elements of wellbeing and your ability to thrive after so many years of mere survival. I hope that this can be a time of growth and opportunity for you.


Can I (would you) infer from her phrasing that she's hedging?