FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#961
I feel so depressed... yet I feel hyper. I sure hope this episode I'm in isn't a mixed state, but it is looking more and more like one.
Anyway, I slept from about 11pm until 4:30am, and i feel awful mood wise. I wish I had a magic med that would make this episode go away, but my pdoc said Trileptal takes 2-4 weeks to kick in. Ughhh... [Mini rant]: I hate how meds take so long to work (in general). You have to wait weeks to see if a med works or not, and if it doesn't work, then you have wasted weeks of time trying to get the episode under control. I know some people here have been going through a lot worse than me, so I don't really have the right to complain. I just felt the need to rant about how slow meds take to work... (P.S. I am also on atorvastatin (Lipitor), which messes with your liver's metabolism with meds, which means I generally need high doses of meds, and unfortunately, I always have to start on low doses that aren't effective and spend more time titrating up...) |
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, fern46, Fuzzybear, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
|
bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
|
Legendary
Community Liaison
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 12,735
(SuperPoster!)
7 70.9k hugs
given |
#962
Quote:
I am sorry you continue to suffer with this very challenging period of illness instability and frustration. Your current challenges are every bit as valid as anyone else's challenges. You've been kind of "teetering on the edge" for awhile now, with rather brief periods of some degree of relief in between the more challenging times. As with other friends here, it's very important you find stabilization. Your employment, it seems, is at risk more often and for longer periods of time than in the past. (My perception of this could be off.) I am hoping and praying you'll start feeling much better very soon. In the meantime, is there any shorter-term prn you find helpful until you stabilize on the Trileptal? Thinking of you, praying for you and hoping this uncomfortable period of time will be short, passing quickly. Much love to You, My friend __________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. |
|
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, ~Christina
|
bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Nammu, ~Christina
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#963
I kinda hate existing. I don't know if that makes me depressed or not, I certainly feel more wired and energized than down. It's just this breathing thing, it's unbearable. Like right now I don't like having a body and feeling every little movement within it. Feeling my heart beat, my blood circulate, my lungs inhale and exhale,etc. it's driving me crazy. I know I brought this upon myself, and I probably shouldn't even be writing this.
|
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Innerzone, Sunflower123, ~Christina
|
bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, ~Christina
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,408
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,854 hugs
given |
#964
I think I’m finally getting that Wellbutrin anxiety. Saturday night and last night I kept waking up throughout the night with this massive anxiety, and it was going on throughout the day. I’m just anxious about everything. Right now I could use about 2 Xanax. Other then the anxiety I feel ok today.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Innerzone, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
|
bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#965
Quote:
I am a writer. My brain is not doing very well right now. At times, I am not enjoying writing in the least. It is just no fun and of no interest. And yet, I have to finish these books. So, I try to do as much as I can as well as I can and not judge myself, knowing that the joy will eventually return. Somehow, some way. It will. I am sure the same will happen with your Scrabble. Just do what you can and try to avoid negative thinking. Love and hugs!!!!!!11 __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
|
Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#966
Hey, raging, why don't you see if today, you can try to have a positive outlook on this day, on the next few hours, maybe. Maybe it will be better. Maybe there will be a breakthrough for you today. Practicing using positive neural pathways can make them more accessible and may ultimately help you cope better in the long run. I am trying to practice this, myself. It is hard, but I do think it helps me.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Innerzone, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
|
Fuzzybear, Innerzone, Wild Coyote
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#967
Quote:
Love and hugs!! __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
|
Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
|
Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#968
Quote:
Hugs and strength. Hang in there. It will turn around. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
|
Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
|
Wild Coyote
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#969
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
|
Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
|
Wild Coyote
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#970
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
|
Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
|
Wild Coyote
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#971
Very rough day for me yesterday. Quite down and blue, amotiavational, andhednoic. Barely able to get the most basic stuff done. Oh well. Wd do what we can do.
I am trying to work hard on being more positive and more accepting of reality. Trying harder not to judge myself. To look for the gifts, not the deficits or losses. For example, if I felt well enough to ride th ebike for even an hour or work on my books, it would really help me, but the part of the brain that governs motivation is just not functioning for me right now. At all. All my academic and career success was driven by a fierce feeling that I was not good enough. You can get a lot done when You feel that way. But it is not a healthy mindset for me. So, I am trying to lose that. It is a process for me. Judging me is bad for me. I need to accept me, even when all I can do is just sit in my chair and try to make it past the next hour. Love and hugs and support to all, especially those struggling. Stay with it. Things will turn around. Have faith, if you can. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
Anonymous46341, fern46, Fuzzybear, Innerzone, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote
|
fern46, Fuzzybear, Innerzone, Mountaindewed, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,408
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,854 hugs
given |
#972
Quote:
But can side effects take 2 months to show up? __________________ Ridin' with Biden |
|
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, swimmingly
|
bpcyclist
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#973
|
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote
|
bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#974
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
|
Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote
|
Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#975
Have you had periods of sobriety or clean time in the past, spikes? You can do it. It is never too late to start working on this. I struggled with addiction for decades. For the most part, it is quite easy now. And lots of people never, ever thought I could do it.
But you can do it. You can totally do it. It would probably help your mood quite a bit. Sending you strength. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote
|
Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#976
Quote:
----- I just had a really good group session where I opened up more about trauma stuff. The counselor said she thinks my hallucinations/delusions/paranoia are more related to trauma than anything else. We discussed a lot of other stuff like anger and dissociation too. Helpful. First step I'm taking this week is working on sobriety while allowing myself to feel emotions. |
|
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, fern46, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote
|
bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 1,639
6 3,229 hugs
given |
#977
Well, issues surrounding the when and how I'm going to make this last appointment (of the 3 free) have come up. The first available between us isn't until June 18th. I did message her to see if I can get something sooner, like Wednesday or even tomorrow...it's going to be tricky trying to communicate with her right now though. sigh! so...just a little stressed about it all!
Oh! And apparently, I've come to the end of my Clonazepam (for anxiety). I mean, I have the "as needed" backup, but the intent was to get off of it...I'm a little nervous about getting withdrawal symptoms though, or just being extra anxious with everything going on. Sigh! __________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Innerzone, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote
|
bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
14 31.3k hugs
given |
#978
Quote:
Wishing you a lot of successes (so many battles our mind can give us!) in your endeavor, and hope you get to feeling better soon. __________________ ********* Mr. Robot Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside. --The Cure
|
|
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote
|
bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#979
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
|
Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote
|
Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: Central Massachusetts USA
Posts: 1,585
3 3,398 hugs
given |
#980
Quote:
This was me on 6/6, just two days ago. I woke up this morning feeling like I'm floating outside of my body. Not in mania at all. Just in my baseline zone. I've never had anything like that happen before. I've only been watching for symptoms of BP for 5 years now. I feel like a newbie. Only had two big bouts of Mania, once when I was triggered during a big break-up, and I went nuts with spending and not sleeping and other bad behavior, and once in hospitalization where I couldn't act out other than getting in fights and not sleeping despite medication. So what happened to me? I left a message on my P docs urgent line, but I likely won't hear back until Thursday. I was off the walls. If I had to say which way I was heading, I couldn't even say. I just feel like unicorn, which is what my therapist and I call my baseline. I think my problem is that I truly want to understand everything that's going on and I don't. |
|
Anonymous46341, fern46, Fuzzybear, Innerzone, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
|
Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
|
Closed Thread |
|