[BeyondtheRainbow]

A new start......

[~Christina]

Thanks !!! Nice room you made for us

I dont have anything new to really say. Seroquel has me in a stupor so I sleep but I sleep far too long ( and I have lifetime of insomnia. But I wanted Snowed under and my Pdoc did it !

Hugs to anyone in need

[Nammu]

Ooo new thread, number 50!

[Gabyunbound]

Yesterday was my first day working since I took time off because of my mixed episode. I was afraid to mess up in all sorts of ways, including because I've been having trouble with word-finding since being on 10mg of Zyprexa.

However, it went ok. I wasn't the best interpreter in the world, but I did an ok job and this is a huge relief.

My anxiety has overall been high lately. I have a lot of stress right now; it's a long story and too much to write about here. I can't wait til therapy tomorrow, I need a lot of help with these things. I have this deep feeling that my recovery is fragile. Part of me feels very fragile. It may not be true. I may be resilient in the face of all of this stress, and I so hope this is the case.

[Miss Laura]

I'm on my holiday currently been away since Mon. Typical Scottish weather its been raining. Im at a lodge with a hot tub currently sitting in it on my own. It was raining when we got in it so everyone came out i have been in it a while abd its sunny but cool.

Its been a long week. I feel good but really irritated and I can feel my sister and I are niggling. Its got to the stage where I am like f&&& off and leave me alone. She is constantly at me. She is really rude. I'm still raging from last Tues when my Peer Support Worker turned to me and said I have 2 options.... 1 is I ask for support or 2 is she will discharge me. I'm fuming. I don't know what support I need so I'm clueless. She has asked I email her on Monday with my answer. So I have drafted an email out and have asked people to read it. This is from the woman who said I quote "you aren't manic, your looking for symptoms, your not stable yet to have a job and you were manic the week before". So am I manic? Am I stable? What am I?

[Soupe du jour]

Almost to Barcelona via TGV. It's been a long ride, but relaxing. Hubby's sore foot has recovered a bit because of it.

I almost choked on a baguette sandwich today. I am sure some passengers were staring at me. Recovered. I did think to at least put my mask back on while in the coughing fit. I went to the train toilet to fully clear my airways.

[Moose72]

Still here at home sorting! N3 needs to get his school ID and books today. I want to do that now so it's done. My mom is coming back in 2 hours so we need to hurry.

Slept well last night. Got up at 730 when my friend called to wake me up. Had plenty of coffee.

Hugs to those in need!

[*Beth*]

Here we are at #Cincuenta! Cinquante! Petdeset! Limampu! Funfzig! Femti!

I have an eye doctor appointment today (yay! New glasses!). Unfortunately I can barely open my eyes due to the immense amount of smoke that is the consequence of this once-gorgeous state on fire.This is what it's like when the sky is amber instead of blue and ash, rather than water, rains down. AND whaddya know! The leaf blower dorks have arrived to blow massive dust clouds of dust all around my apartment building! Just what we need: more. dirty. air.

I am now convinced that I am living inside of a David Lynch film <----- THIS
-----> I'd offer hugs, but I might contaminate you.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m lying in a dark room feeling like crap. I have a lot of Covid symptoms except the fever. But I think you can have it without a fever? I’m also not coughing a ton. But I am a coughing a bit. But my throat is killing me and so is my chest and I just feel awful. Plus whenever I stand up I feel like I’m dying. This covid **** is no joke. People who think it’s a hoax can go **** themselves. I wear my mask and wash my hands and social distance and I still got something. I did get my haircut 2 weeks ago though so maybe that’s where I got it from. I got my eyes checked the next day. So yeah I let my guard down for 2 days and got something. Don’t let your guard down at all.

But just based on specific things that I’m not doing and am not in the mood for, I can tell that something is legitimately very wrong.

[Blue_Bird]

Had a busy day. Orkin inspection, then went grocery shopping, then walked to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. Then I just had a meeting with my care manager. She said I look like I've lost a lot of weight and look good so that made me feel good. It was nice to see her in person. We met outside at one of the picnic tables. I talked to her about wanting to do some kind of volunteer work so she is going to help me find some.

I got a bunch of healthy stuff at the grocery store. And they actually had hand sanitizer. I was shocked cause normally they've had zero for the past several months but they had a little display near the register that had a bunch of them, so I grabbed one while I could. The cashier was super nice.

Maybelle's vet appointment should be this month then she can come live with me finally. Excited about that.

[Moose72]

N3 took me out to eat again for lunch. Gonna be a light dinner. I'd LOVE a nap but my mom is coming back over so I can't do that. Besides, I need to stay up so I can get to bed early again tonight. I think I'll get a shower before bedtime. It's so quiet in here now. N3 was napping in the car on the way back from lunch. I had music blasting earlier while I was cleaning.

@Mountaindewed, do you really think you have covid or is this some other virus? Have you gotten a test?

I think I'll put the music back on so I can work more. Otherwise, the quiet is going to lull me to sleep!

Here we go again...

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Moose72

N3 took me out to eat again for lunch. Gonna be a light dinner. I'd LOVE a nap but my mom is coming back over so I can't do that. Besides, I need to stay up so I can get to bed early again tonight. I think I'll get a shower before bedtime. It's so quiet in here now. N3 was napping in the car on the way back from lunch. I had music blasting earlier while I was cleaning.

@Mountaindewed, do you really think you have covid or is this some other virus? Have you gotten a test?

I think I'll put the music back on so I can work more. Otherwise, the quiet is going to lull me to sleep!

Here we go again...

I went to get tested yesterday. I’m not sure if it’s Covid. At times I feel like I overreacted with getting tested. Then other times I’m thinking yeah I was right... right now I feel ok. And I seemed to be feeling better after I saw that numbers were down in my state and plans were still in place for a vaccine for next year. So it could be mostly anxiety. I know I am very tired and I’m not eating right. I have to get tested anyways in a couple weeks. So best to know now anyways.

[Fuzzybear]

I think it might be anxiety. I personally find the less I think about ... that.. the better, I have not, however let my guard down. I stay in my cave whenever I can, Which is not fun It is quite ironic as some quack IRL once accused me of being a ''hypocondraic'' as I was worried about a legitimate severe physical symptom He did not like me because of my ''anxiety''.... grrrrr. He even lied to me about his ''3 children'' having the same issue. If that had been the case he would have known that issue is not trivial.

Appointment tomorrow. Grrrrrrrrr.

[Soupe du jour]

Must admit that I am not thrilled about our accommodations in Barcelona. It's not Hubby's fault. The advertisement was misleading and the operators a pain in the ar**. The area is OK. We'll make it work. Maybe things will look slightly better tomorrow. I confess that when we arrived in Barcelona, I had my first anxious/frustrated rant of the vacation. I feel bad.

We went to a so-so restaurant nearby and ordered "large beers". Usually my husband drinks his and then half of mine. But to our surprise, the "large beers" were literally German Oktoberfest size steins, at least at the place we went. I drank maybe 1/4 of mine (too much for me). My husband drank all of his and the rest of mine. He got trashed and I almost had to lead him to where we're staying. Normally Czechs can handle a lot of beer (they're actually the biggest beer consumers in the world), but his Americanization has made his tolerance far lower. I'm not intoxicated, but feel a little reluctant to take my evening medications until the buzz wears off a bit. Hubby is long since asleep in the bed in his day clothes.

I truly understand very little Spanish and in the area we're at, there are no "tourist menus" in English. I guess there might be in the high tourist areas, but maybe not. In Spain right now, they are not offering physical menus. You have to scan a code with your smart phone and see it there, or simply pick something from the chalk board specials list. Of course I do know "Gracias" and when those beers came, I declared "Muy grande!" But the dish ingredients? None other than names/words most Americans would know. We do also know "alergia al ajo" (my husband has a dreaded garlic allergy, which is harder here than in France). France is many times easier for us both! We understand and speak a lot of French considering how long ago we finished our main studies. It's interesting how some places feel instantly more comfortable than others.

We're spending much more money than I hoped. Czech Republic should luckily be much less.

I just took my evening medications at 10:40 pm, instead of my usual 7 pm... and with yucky Barcelona tap water. We never made it to the supermercado (or whatever you call it). Hopefully I won't get the Spanish version of Montezuma's Revenge!

[Moose72]

@Soupe du jour I'm enjoying your trials and tribulations!

Everybody has gone home. Nobody will come over. I can't even get Caleb to call me back. I took N3 and a ton of his stuff back to his place. Whew! But I think there is just as much left for him to get on Saturday when he comes back! Tomorrow, my mom and I are going to start to work on the kitchen, packing things up! Getting rid of things! I've gotten rid of so much, but it doesn't even seem like a dent. I have a pile of stuff I'm taking and a good bit of it is photographs- printed photos. My mom doesn't think I should get rid of my wedding photos - from 25 years ago!- even though I KNOW my ex doesn't want them and the only kid that would be interested in them has already looked through them. I'm really trying to pare down for this move because the place is a one-bedroom and this place is a three-bedroom! Lots of closets here for things to hide. I've taken out multiple huge garbage bags full of STUFF already! I am throwing things out because it is easier I hate to say it. I just threw out a bunch of cords- ethernet, etc, etc. not because I don't think they have value but because at the moment, *I* don't need them! I can't think of a time that I WOULD need them. I found one cord that can go with my VCR that I've never used. I got rid of 30 VHS tapes- donated them to my mom's neighborhood as a set-on-the-porch "come and get it!" kind of thing. All the tapes were originals- no copies! That aught to make people interested. Everything from Raiders of the Lost Ark, to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen! Only a few cases among them but hey- there are Disney movies in there. Maybe someone has been looking for one of them- who knows! I'm going to bed early tonight and getting up early tomorrow!

[~Christina]

My anger is still holding , Damn stuff can go get stuffed .... Well my Pdoc wants me to taper off 120mg Latuda he thinks that could be keeping my anger going.. Who knows but Ill try it..

He upped my Cogentin to twice a day which is a given.

The last couple days my back has been okay finally ! Well I dropped a dish towel bend down and I swear I felt like some stabbed right through me, I cried out it is so awful..... SO back on my Tens unit, 2 different muscle relaxers, Valium piggy backing Xanax..

One thing or another.

Hope everyone is have a good day ! Gentle hugs

[Coolbreeze74]

I didn't have a panic attack last night! Yay! They are beyond miserable. I'm actually feeling ok. My son just started on an increased dose of invega. I'm hoping that helps him. He really, really needs to shower. I wont say how long its been but its been awhile.

Hope everyone is having a good day. hugs to those that need them...

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m sooo tired. My anxiety has lessened some. Every time the phone rings in my classroom though, I’m expecting it to be The Call. So far I guess he’s still hanging on. As usual I haven’t heard any updates.

My student really struggled today. Laying on the floor, throwing things, cursing everyone out. I heard he was inpatient for a couple of weeks over the summer so I can imagine he hasn’t gotten his meds right yet. My team and I strategized some behavior intervention options. I think it’s going to take awhile to get him on track. I went through his bin though and confiscated any projectiles. Basically left him his books and that’s about it.

My supervisor was a real piece of work today. She’s insisting we stay in our masking tape “bubbles” which I understand is necessary for social distancing but kind of impossible for the type of school we’re in. She called out my team specifically in front of everyone. Like really, that’s not necessary. You don’t have to name names. But she’s always like that so why should I expect anything different, honestly.

Still getting nauseous after eating sometimes. Could be anxiety though.

[Fuzzybear]

Shower and fur wash today in preparation for ''the appointment''. Rough day and I didn't keep my muzzle on I was pleasant for Papa bear though (which meant being muzzled as he didn't want to talk about anything ''stressful'' - even stuff that probably most people wouldn't find stressful. He is a lovely bear though

hugs to all

[Moose72]

I changed my avatar to a version of me (instead of n3)- a version of me which I aspire to yet again. I want to represent the real me and here I am!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I think it might be anxiety. I personally find the less I think about ... that.. the better, I have not, however let my guard down. I stay in my cave whenever I can, Which is not fun It is quite ironic as some quack IRL once accused me of being a ''hypocondraic'' as I was worried about a legitimate severe physical symptom He did not like me because of my ''anxiety''.... grrrrr. He even lied to me about his ''3 children'' having the same issue. If that had been the case he would have known that issue is not trivial.

Appointment tomorrow. Grrrrrrrrr.

We would never treat you that way, Fuzzer.

Hugs!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Must admit that I am not thrilled about our accommodations in Barcelona. It's not Hubby's fault. The advertisement was misleading and the operators a pain in the ar**. The area is OK. We'll make it work. Maybe things will look slightly better tomorrow. I confess that when we arrived in Barcelona, I had my first anxious/frustrated rant of the vacation. I feel bad.

We went to a so-so restaurant nearby and ordered "large beers". Usually my husband drinks his and then half of mine. But to our surprise, the "large beers" were literally German Oktoberfest size steins, at least at the place we went. I drank maybe 1/4 of mine (too much for me). My husband drank all of his and the rest of mine. He got trashed and I almost had to lead him to where we're staying. Normally Czechs can handle a lot of beer (they're actually the biggest beer consumers in the world), but his Americanization has made his tolerance far lower. I'm not intoxicated, but feel a little reluctant to take my evening medications until the buzz wears off a bit. Hubby is long since asleep in the bed in his day clothes.

I truly understand very little Spanish and in the area we're at, there are no "tourist menus" in English. I guess there might be in the high tourist areas, but maybe not. In Spain right now, they are not offering physical menus. You have to scan a code with your smart phone and see it there, or simply pick something from the chalk board specials list. Of course I do know "Gracias" and when those beers came, I declared "Muy grande!" But the dish ingredients? None other than names/words most Americans would know. We do also know "alergia al ajo" (my husband has a dreaded garlic allergy, which is harder here than in France). France is many times easier for us both! We understand and speak a lot of French considering how long ago we finished our main studies. It's interesting how some places feel instantly more comfortable than others.

We're spending much more money than I hoped. Czech Republic should luckily be much less.

I just took my evening medications at 10:40 pm, instead of my usual 7 pm... and with yucky Barcelona tap water. We never made it to the supermercado (or whatever you call it). Hopefully I won't get the Spanish version of Montezuma's Revenge!

My second fave Euro city. But, last time there for work I got screamed at for not speaking Spanish. Touchy.

Does Bahthelona have the prettiest girls in Europe? Maybe. Maybe. Probably.

Those Euros and their alcohol...

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

My anger is still holding , Damn stuff can go get stuffed .... Well my Pdoc wants me to taper off 120mg Latuda he thinks that could be keeping my anger going.. Who knows but Ill try it..

He upped my Cogentin to twice a day which is a given.

The last couple days my back has been okay finally ! Well I dropped a dish towel bend down and I swear I felt like some stabbed right through me, I cried out it is so awful..... SO back on my Tens unit, 2 different muscle relaxers, Valium piggy backing Xanax..

One thing or another.

Hope everyone is have a good day ! Gentle hugs

I have heard more bizarre SE from Latuda folks than any other drug recently. Spooks me.

Hope the Tens works.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

I didn't have a panic attack last night! Yay! They are beyond miserable. I'm actually feeling ok. My son just started on an increased dose of invega. I'm hoping that helps him. He really, really needs to shower. I wont say how long its been but its been awhile.

Hope everyone is having a good day. hugs to those that need them...

Yay!!!!!!!!!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m sooo tired. My anxiety has lessened some. Every time the phone rings in my classroom though, I’m expecting it to be The Call. So far I guess he’s still hanging on. As usual I haven’t heard any updates.

My student really struggled today. Laying on the floor, throwing things, cursing everyone out. I heard he was inpatient for a couple of weeks over the summer so I can imagine he hasn’t gotten his meds right yet. My team and I strategized some behavior intervention options. I think it’s going to take awhile to get him on track. I went through his bin though and confiscated any projectiles. Basically left him his books and that’s about it.

My supervisor was a real piece of work today. She’s insisting we stay in our masking tape “bubbles” which I understand is necessary for social distancing but kind of impossible for the type of school we’re in. She called out my team specifically in front of everyone. Like really, that’s not necessary. You don’t have to name names. But she’s always like that so why should I expect anything different, honestly.

Still getting nauseous after eating sometimes. Could be anxiety though.

Feel better, wfc...