[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I think the surgery was a success. I got a quick peek when the doctor came back to make things were ok and I was really happy with the results. I feel really good right now mentally although I do know there’s the possibility of post op depression. I’m not sure at what point that would start but so far I’m good. I have taken one 1.5 pain pills today. My left side is killing me. But my mom is in charge of the pain meds.

That's great! If your left side hurts that badly wouldn't this be a good time to ask your mom for a pain pill?

[Moose72]

My pdoc called today. Apparently, I was scheduled for a phone appointment tomorrow. She called to say that they were ahead of schedule and would I talk with a medical nurse practitioner (pdoc is a psych. NP) today instead? I said sure. She asked me how I was doing with the move and all. I told her about feeling like something bad was going to happen. I don't remember what she said now but it did seem to help. I did talk with a friend of mine and I told her about how I've been feeling- waiting for the other shoe to drop- and she said "You deserve good in your life. Don't ever forget that." I didn't expect her to say anything like that! Seems out of character for her, but darned if she didn't say it!

[Coolbreeze74]

He still hasn't called. Ugh! He said on Sunday the psych nurse there only gave him a few minutes and was going to put him on the invega injection that would be equivalent to 9 mgs a day. Hes already on 12 mgs a day and 16 mgs of perphenazine a day. They didn't know what all meds he was on when he got transferred to this new hospital. I hope they got all of that figured out. I'm really worrying tho that he hasn't called.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Pdoc is going to give me a little Xanax in case i have a panic/anxiety attack. My student still hasn’t come to school and I doubt he will, now that he’s had a taste of being home. I think he will be going virtual, which will be much better. At least he won’t be a physical threat then.

I’m still having nausea. It was really bad this morning, so bad I considered taking off because I wasn’t sure I could drive to work. But I really didn’t want to take off and then be fine in an hour. So I went in, albeit a few minutes late. I was fine by like 9am. So I’m glad I didn’t call out. I was good all day but now I’m queasy again. Of course my mind jumps to pregnancy...but I’m only in the third week of my current birth control pack so I really don’t think I would be feeling it this early!

My grandpa is worse by the day, my mom thinks it will be soon, but that’s what we thought six weeks ago so who knows. He knows what she is saying but can’t answer back. She know by the expression on his face. She’s reassuring him that we are all ok and taken care of so he doesn’t have to worry. I’m glad for that. As much of a crotchety man as he was (and is), I know he cared deeply for us all, even if he couldn’t show it. It’s just a waiting game...

Hugs. Prayers.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bizi

That is an amazing A1C!!!!!!
you can pat yourself on your back better yet ask for a back rub from him!

Yes he should

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

He still hasn't called. Ugh! He said on Sunday the psych nurse there only gave him a few minutes and was going to put him on the invega injection that would be equivalent to 9 mgs a day. Hes already on 12 mgs a day and 16 mgs of perphenazine a day. They didn't know what all meds he was on when he got transferred to this new hospital. I hope they got all of that figured out. I'm really worrying tho that he hasn't called.

Have faith. He will probably sleep a lot. Hugs!

[Soupe du jour]

I am so incredibly tired right now! I haven't the energy to write about all that happened, and I'm sure no one would want to read it all. But in a nut shell:

The floor replacement is solidified, lots more got packed, painting is under way, big furniture moved, and a photographer came to photograph the exterior areas of our house (we staged and spruced it up nicely). He also did drone photography of our street area.

The house is in extreme disarray. Since our master bedroom was just painted today, with more touchups tomorrow, my husband is sleeping in our spare bedroom and I am in the living room on the sofa.

[Blue_Bird]

I'm struggling with depression right now and

Possible trigger:

thoughts of suicide

I'm having a hard time finding a reason to want to live anymore. Anyway, I'm not going to do anything or act on the thoughts, I'm just struggling really badly.

[Nammu]

Blue bird,

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm struggling with depression right now and

Possible trigger:

thoughts of suicide

I'm having a hard time finding a reason to want to live anymore. Anyway, I'm not going to do anything or act on the thoughts, I'm just struggling really badly.

I'm sorry, Blue_Bird Is there anything in particular lately causing you to feel so down?

[*Beth*]

Weird day. I awoke before dawn and instead of staying up for just an hour or so, foolishly stayed awake for several hours making bureaucratic phone calls. But I was so tired and felt rotten. I went back to bed and slept for 45 minutes, felt like yuck. Had a telehealth appointment with my pdoc - I still get wound up about telehealth, it requires so much set-up for minimal reward. After that I had chores to do, but didn't do any of them, which is unusual for me. All I could do was lie down and sleep. Now it's 8p.m. and I will read some, then sleep. Stupid day.

Ironically, however, could be a day that actually changes my life. My pdoc gave me the nod to begin to decrease Klonopin. I've been taking 2mg/day for 20-plus years. It isn't helping me anymore, not for so many years, but my body is entirely dependent upon it. I truly want to get off the stuff.

Dr. W. is (fortunately) extremely cautious about stopping a benzo. She told me pick one day of the week, then to cut down by 1/4 my bedtime dose on that day, each week. Do that for a month, or two months even, more if necessary, and see how I'm feeling. And so on.

I feel like I have a goal, some hope to drop a med I no longer need. And maybe the titration down will go a bit more quickly than I expect.

Cool, I hope your son called. He's probably knocked out on meds.

Hugs all 'round

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm sorry, Blue_Bird Is there anything in particular lately causing you to feel so down?

Thanks Beth,

It's hard to pinpoint what it's from, I just went from feeling great for several months to sleeping 12 plus hours a day, thinking negatively, and wanting to die. I'm not sure what triggered it

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Weird day. I awoke before dawn and instead of staying up for just an hour or so, foolishly stayed awake for several hours making bureaucratic phone calls. But I was so tired and felt rotten. I went back to bed and slept for 45 minutes, felt like yuck. Had a telehealth appointment with my pdoc - I still get wound up about telehealth, it requires so much set-up for minimal reward. After that I had chores to do, but didn't do any of them, which is unusual for me. All I could do was lie down and sleep. Now it's 8p.m. and I will read some, then sleep. Stupid day.

Ironically, however, could be a day that actually changes my life. My pdoc gave me the nod to begin to decrease Klonopin. I've been taking 2mg/day for 20-plus years. It isn't helping me anymore, not for so many years, but my body is entirely dependent upon it. I truly want to get off the stuff.

Dr. W. is (fortunately) extremely cautious about stopping a benzo. She told me pick one day of the week, then to cut down by 1/4 my bedtime dose on that day, each week. Do that for a month, or two months even, more if necessary, and see how I'm feeling. And so on.

I feel like I have a goal, some hope to drop a med I no longer need. And maybe the titration down will go a bit more quickly than I expect.

Cool, I hope your son called. He's probably knocked out on meds.

Hugs all 'round

I agree about the telehealth/video sessions. They give me a lot less, too. Today I spoke with my tdoc. Basically it was just me speeding through stuff, or her laughing or saying "Oh, that sounds good." Nothing else. At least something is said as a service with my pdoc: "stay as is", "add 50 mg", or the like.

I think that is great that you are finally reducing your Klonopin. All the best with that! I wish I was. Like you, I have been on it for years and it serves little purpose, though I've been on only 0.5 mg for most of the 10 years. If only I could reduce even as you are! But my pdoc would definitely say no because of my move. He'll have to finagle some way of getting me enough for 3 months right before I leave. I assume it's the same for you that 90 day supplies are not possible? I think Czech pdocs will prescribe it for me. My sister-in-law takes a benzo and she lives there.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

He'll have to finagle some way of getting me enough for 3 months right before I leave. I assume it's the same for you that 90 day supplies are not possible? I think Czech pdocs will prescribe it for me. My sister-in-law takes a benzo and she lives there.

Do you have a mail order option? I get 3 months worth of klonopin through mine without any problems.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm struggling with depression right now and

Possible trigger:

thoughts of suicide

I'm having a hard time finding a reason to want to live anymore. Anyway, I'm not going to do anything or act on the thoughts, I'm just struggling really badly.

Lithium and Clozaril are two that help with this. You should seriously consider it, Blue. S is mo joke. Tried twice. It is no joke. Hugs.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Weird day. I awoke before dawn and instead of staying up for just an hour or so, foolishly stayed awake for several hours making bureaucratic phone calls. But I was so tired and felt rotten. I went back to bed and slept for 45 minutes, felt like yuck. Had a telehealth appointment with my pdoc - I still get wound up about telehealth, it requires so much set-up for minimal reward. After that I had chores to do, but didn't do any of them, which is unusual for me. All I could do was lie down and sleep. Now it's 8p.m. and I will read some, then sleep. Stupid day.

Ironically, however, could be a day that actually changes my life. My pdoc gave me the nod to begin to decrease Klonopin. I've been taking 2mg/day for 20-plus years. It isn't helping me anymore, not for so many years, but my body is entirely dependent upon it. I truly want to get off the stuff.

Dr. W. is (fortunately) extremely cautious about stopping a benzo. She told me pick one day of the week, then to cut down by 1/4 my bedtime dose on that day, each week. Do that for a month, or two months even, more if necessary, and see how I'm feeling. And so on.

I feel like I have a goal, some hope to drop a med I no longer need. And maybe the titration down will go a bit more quickly than I expect.

Cool, I hope your son called. He's probably knocked out on meds.

Hugs all 'round

Good for you, Beth. Hugs!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm struggling with depression right now and

Possible trigger:

thoughts of suicide

I'm having a hard time finding a reason to want to live anymore. Anyway, I'm not going to do anything or act on the thoughts, I'm just struggling really badly.

Blue_Bird you are loved.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Do you have a mail order option? I get 3 months worth of klonopin through mine without any problems.

I do have a mail order option for all of my other medications, but the particular one I use does not fill 90 day supply orders for controlled substances of any sort. Only 30 days at a time. Other meds they do offer 90 supplies. For that reason I get my benzo and my husband's ADD stimulant med at a brick and mortar, since the availability is more reliable and quick.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

...He'll have to finagle some way of getting me enough for 3 months right before I leave. I assume it's the same for you that 90 day supplies are not possible?...

Never. Only 30 days and at the most 2 refills It's ridiculous. I've found that it's easier to obtain meds in other countries. Hopefully that will be the case for you.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Lithium and Clozaril are two that help with this. You should seriously consider it, Blue. S is mo joke. Tried twice. It is no joke. Hugs.

Lithium caused my kidneys to fail. I ended up in the ICU for a week on dialysis and having seizures cause my levels were toxic (4.6) Never touching that stuff again. Clozaril, idk. I talk to my doctor today though and see what she says

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Lithium caused my kidneys to fail. I ended up in the ICU for a week on dialysis and having seizures cause my levels were toxic (4.6) Never touching that stuff again. Clozaril, idk. I talk to my doctor today though and see what she says

I'm sorry (how horrible ) I hope you feel much better soon Blue_Bird

Love all around

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Weird day. I awoke before dawn and instead of staying up for just an hour or so, foolishly stayed awake for several hours making bureaucratic phone calls. But I was so tired and felt rotten. I went back to bed and slept for 45 minutes, felt like yuck. Had a telehealth appointment with my pdoc - I still get wound up about telehealth, it requires so much set-up for minimal reward. After that I had chores to do, but didn't do any of them, which is unusual for me. All I could do was lie down and sleep. Now it's 8p.m. and I will read some, then sleep. Stupid day.

Ironically, however, could be a day that actually changes my life. My pdoc gave me the nod to begin to decrease Klonopin. I've been taking 2mg/day for 20-plus years. It isn't helping me anymore, not for so many years, but my body is entirely dependent upon it. I truly want to get off the stuff.

Dr. W. is (fortunately) extremely cautious about stopping a benzo. She told me pick one day of the week, then to cut down by 1/4 my bedtime dose on that day, each week. Do that for a month, or two months even, more if necessary, and see how I'm feeling. And so on.

I feel like I have a goal, some hope to drop a med I no longer need. And maybe the titration down will go a bit more quickly than I expect.

Cool, I hope your son called. He's probably knocked out on meds.

Hugs all 'round

Thanks for sharing this BethRags. I am currently trying to cut down on benzos, which I have taken for 10 plus years. I was taking the equivalent of 3 x 10mg temezapam (Restoril?) ... actually I think I will start a thread on this as I tend to feel lost in this thread. And also I need to be accountable to myself. I hope the withdrawal goes well for you

[Fuzzybear]

I said to someone in a chat room (a little while ago) that I am a ''good'' bear. I do not remember the context. Their reply was that if I think I am good, I probably am not. What I was meaning is that I try to respect others. And people who know me well think I am mostly ''good''....However nobody is perfect. I find some people to be a puzzle. I am working on healthy boundaries. This was not a skill I learnt as a cub.

I am worried about a good friend who has some very scary medical stuff

I'm still worried about my fang. It hurt a bit last night, I had hoped that posting would not ''jinx'' something. I wonder if I ''imagined'' it.. I hope so. I put up with.... something.. for a long time as I did not want a root canal. (the dentist had given me 3 options, root canal, leave it, or take the tooth out, which he discouraged) Probably I made a ''bad decision''. I have had extreme consequences for some of my ''bad decisions''... which didn't seem all that ''bad'' at the time. Some of them were extremely small. I do not think I am a mistake..

[Moose72]

I went to bed at 8:15 last night and woke up at 3! Perfectly awake! But I went back to sleep because I didn't know what I'd do at 3 a.m. I ended up getting up at 9:30! That's 13 1/2 hours of sleep! Yikes. But I do feel good. Don't feel over slept at all. Today is a gorgeous day- sunny, blue sky and 71! I was sitting on my balcony while I had breakfast sitting on my deck chair and talking with Caleb. Someone came by with a gas leaf blower which was distracting and loud but he went away after a bit. Feeling better today. Karen is coming over later today. I think we will sit outside as I don't have a place for her to sit inside unless she sits on the couch right next to me. I used to have two recliners, but they were 20+ years old and falling apart, so we threw them out. And I donated my old couch to N1; she loves it! I wonder when I'll get mail at my new place. I know I changed my address online - they emailed me about it! So I guess I wait.

[Fuzzybear]

Looking forward to my long hibernation.

It is that time of year. Fat Bear Week.