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#26
Oct 11, 2020, 06:45 PM
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 Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour
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 Soupe du jour
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#27
Oct 11, 2020, 06:53 PM
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I'm starting to cycle more rapidly. A few days ago, I spent hundreds of dollars online and have all these different packages coming of who knows what. My energy level was elevated.. Now, I feel my self starting to crash. A few weeks ago, I was threatened with a write up at work. I was more on the manicky side back then. Now, I'm losing ground and feel like I'm crashing. My energy level is so low today, and I seriously don't know how I'm going to keep up with my responsibilities and obligations this week. It's really overwhelming and makes me feel like a failure. I have been debating for the past few hours whether to take a Klonopin, but sometimes when I take it at night, I feel fatigued the next day. The last thing I need is to feel tired tomorrow. I'm basically sitting staring into space, don't really feel like doing anything. A movie would take too much effort to pay attention to, so I'm just doing mindless stuff online at the very most.
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| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Coolbreeze74, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*, Coolbreeze74, Fuzzybear
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#28
Oct 11, 2020, 07:02 PM
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 No, not yellow. And thank goodness we don't all live in one. It was apparently not the greatest long-term workplace. He's more than happy to be off. It is cool to tour one, though. I never toured my brother's sub, but I went on a much older one (from WWII) in Baltimore, MD, which is now a ship museum. My parents, however, had the wonderful opportunity to ride in one of my brother's submarines from Oahu to I think Moloka'i in Hawaii. It was a special "parents event". They loved it! I think the trip was only about 2 hours long. They went only one way.
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| *Beth*, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*, Nammu
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#29
Oct 11, 2020, 07:07 PM
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I'm hoping I don't have a panic attack tonight. I haven't had one in 3 days. I've been dealing with anxiety tho. Such is life...
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| Blue_Bird, Fuzzybear, Moose72, Sunflower123
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#30
Oct 11, 2020, 07:07 PM
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I feel your words viscerally. Not that it significantly changes anything, but it sounds to me that you have described a mixed state.
__________________
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| Fuzzybear, xRavenx
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| Fuzzybear, xRavenx
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#31
Oct 11, 2020, 07:08 PM
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I don't think I'd want to live in one, either - but touring a sub sounds fascinating! And what a wild ride for your folks. Imagine! 
__________________
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| bpcyclist, Soupe du jour
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| bpcyclist, Soupe du jour
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#32
Oct 11, 2020, 07:22 PM
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A couple of cool things happened today. My family chats with my nephew and his wife on hangouts bc they live in Canada. Hes getting his doctorate and they offered him a really good job over in Canada. We heard from him today. I guess its boxing day tomorrow. Basically Thanksgiving. He shared pictures of his Turkey with all the sides. His first time making Thanksgiving. So good to hear from him.
Then my brother who lives in San Diego got in touch with us. It was really good hearing from family today. So that made my day.
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| Anonymous41462, Blue_Bird, bpcyclist, fern46, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*, Blue_Bird, bpcyclist, Soupe du jour
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#33
Oct 11, 2020, 07:32 PM
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I got a nasty notice from my disability insurers threatening to cut off my benefits. They demanded a form they claimed to have sent in the Spring. I never got it. I got in touch with them and the guy was quite reasonable. We figure it went missing due to COVID. He said others are reporting the same thing. So he gave me an extension as my doctor has to fill out part and i'm just waiting on that. A little nervous about it. Will feel better when it is all submitted and approved. Issues with income are always so serious.
Otherwise things are quiet, just hanging in there with my mild depression. I drank some water, ate some veggies and meditated the past few days so i'm making an effort. I reread about mindfulness in the activities of daily living and was inspired to take a shower. I used lots of shampoo and laughed when my head lathered up so thickly it felt like a whipped dessert! @Soupe du jour: Sounds like you are getting a tremendous amount done. Good for you! Hugs to all who struggle! 
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| *Beth*, Anonymous45023, Blue_Bird, bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Daonnachd, fern46, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, yellow_fleurs
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| *Beth*, Blue_Bird, bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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#34
Oct 11, 2020, 07:54 PM
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Daonnachd, Soupe du jour
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist
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#35
Oct 11, 2020, 08:04 PM
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According to my mom the right side is bruised badly and it also hurts like ****. That side is still bleeding a lot and this really dark blood is coming out. The left side looks good and just dribbles of light blood is coming out. The right side is why the doctor had to come back on Monday. So I’m kind of nervous. I don’t want to have to go back into surgery. But the reason I got carsick this morning was because I forgot my Geodon. Once I took it I felt better.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Daonnachd, Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74
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#36
Oct 11, 2020, 08:13 PM
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Making an effort is huge! I hope you take a moment - or 2 - and give yourself a hug for that.
__________________
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| Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| bpcyclist
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#37
Oct 11, 2020, 08:14 PM
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Good idea. My tendency is mixed states and they're not to be taken lightly. Keep us posted xRx 
__________________
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| bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| bpcyclist
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#38
Oct 11, 2020, 08:15 PM
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Had a massive panic attack yesterday. Ended up taking a klonopin. It helped. I think talking to my sister also helped. And playing my game.
I got some makeup and hair dye today and a round brush for when I'm blow drying my hair. This is the hair dye color https://www.kroger.com/product/image.../0060308429061 I'm getting into wanting to do my hair and makeup and stuff like that which I haven't really done for years. My sister has been helpful with her tips. Plus she's going to give me a bottle of Valentino perfume since I have no perfume at all. Due to the not socializing with people cause of covid it's not like people will really see my makeup or anything, I can at least make myself feel happy doing these things and feel good about myself. I only slept 5 hours last night. Have an appointment with my supportive housing case manager tomorrow. Hopefully that goes well. I feel pretty good today
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Daonnachd, Fuzzybear, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, xRavenx
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| bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74
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#39
Oct 11, 2020, 08:28 PM
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I feel you on the panic attacks. They are beyond miserable. I'm glad the klonopin helped! I had a good day too!
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| Anonymous41462, Blue_Bird, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| Blue_Bird
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#40
Oct 11, 2020, 09:18 PM
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Stunning hair color! Hair color has been my "thing" for decades. Here's an idea. When the vibrancy of the Garnier fades some, you can use Manic Panic Vampire Red (alone or mix it with another of their reds) to brighten up the permanent dye. Manic Panic by itself is weak, but it will revive permanent color very well. I hope your appointment tomorrow goes smoothly
__________________
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| Blue_Bird, bpcyclist, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| Blue_Bird, bpcyclist
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#41
Oct 11, 2020, 09:53 PM
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__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| bpcyclist
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#42
Oct 12, 2020, 07:49 AM
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__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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#43
Oct 12, 2020, 07:51 AM
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Did you ever try Emsam?
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When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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#44
Oct 12, 2020, 07:53 AM
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__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
| Mountaindewed
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| Mountaindewed
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#45
Oct 12, 2020, 07:57 AM
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Sleep still rough w Albert. He mostly lvs me alone if I am out w blankies in the living room, so doing that. Sees vet in a month. Maybe she can help. He clearly has at the very least an anxiety disorder. Just being gentle with him.
Mood good. Just tired. Hugs.
__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Mountaindewed, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, xRavenx
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| *Beth*, Mountaindewed, Sunflower123
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#46
Oct 12, 2020, 08:11 AM
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Anxiety through the roof because of what is happening with my mom. Took klonopin early last night to help me through the evening, which was helpful.
Also uncomfortable about communicating with my brother and sister-in-law about it because we don't get along (actually I generally get along with my sister-in-law) and we only communicate when issues with my mother come up. I'm calling the new sub-acute facility today. I so hope they'll take her! If not, everything will be delayed (my mom wants to go asap), research started from scratch, and it won't be a place I already know, as I do this one.
__________________
Bipolar 1 Lamictal: 400 mg Latuda: 60mg Klonopin: 1 mg Propranolol: 10 mg Zoloft: 100 mg Temazepam: 15 mg Zyprexa 5-10mg prn (for Central Pain Syndrome: methadone 20 mg; for chronic back pain: meloxicam 15 mg; for migraines: prochlorperazine prn) |
| *Beth*, Anonymous45023, bpcyclist, Daonnachd, Mountaindewed, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, xRavenx
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist
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#47
Oct 12, 2020, 08:35 AM
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__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| *Beth*, bpcyclist
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist
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#48
Oct 12, 2020, 09:24 AM
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Quote:
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| bpcyclist
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| bpcyclist
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#49
Oct 12, 2020, 10:30 AM
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Looking for a new job because bookkeeper at the farm is not going to last very long. Family feud stuff going on and I heard they're going to be under before they can even get me set up. I applied to a few places close enough but far enough. I am now one full week sober! It is cold. I hope it rains tonight/tomorrow as expected. I think I broke a knuckle.
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| *Beth*, Anonymous45023, bpcyclist, Daonnachd, Mountaindewed, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, xRavenx
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist
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#50
Oct 12, 2020, 11:35 AM
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Well I got the drains out. She said to come back next Monday though for a check up and also there could possibly be a fluid buildup and they would have to go in with a needle to get it out. But getting the drains out was much less painful then I thought. I thought it would hurt like hell but it was just a quick pinch. I didn’t realize how much pain was actually from my chest though. But at least I’m in my own bed now instead of on that dumb recliner. And I can sleep on my side and get around more easily. So I hope recovery gets moving quicker now.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Daonnachd, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, xRavenx
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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