[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Went to the GP today. I have a dark spot on my forehead which my wife just noticed a couple of weeks ago; she insisted I get it checked out. I've known about it for at least a year. Doc says it's not cancerous.

More news on the weather front: the red flag warning got down-graded so the power wasn't shut off. I'm sure you were all worried about that. Anyhow, it's a relief for me because I can still have my morning coffee. They are predicting more high winds early next week though. When will this end?

Actually, I was thinking about you possibly having your electricity shut off. I'm so glad you didn't have to!

Yeah, that wind was wild last night and not much calmer today. At least the temperature is cooler, maybe that helps deter fire. Let's hope so.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Okay now I’m strongly believing it was the tegretol that was making me have all those crazy emotions. Ive been charting my moods and since I stopped it the chart is looking much better and I’ve only had to note voices a couple times instead of the notes section being full of ridiculousness. I mean, there are still mood swings but it’s not going from 0-10 and back every 30 minutes. Definitely something I need to remember to tell my new pnurse next week

So happy you are feeling better. Yay!!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

Things are mellow for me for the first time in a long time. Feels good. Son is doing much better. I haven't had a panic attack in 2 days. I'm hoping the trileptal is helping. I cant take all my meds at once or I get a really weird feeling and have a panic attack. So I take most of them at 11pm and then eat something, and take the rest of them at about 1am. It seems to be working. Keeping me from having the weird feeling.

Hope everyone is having a good day. hugs to those struggling!

So relieved. Yay!!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I don’t think I have ever felt this depressed in my entire life. Where I have stopped eating and have just felt so incredibly hopeless.

Hugs, MD. Did you call the pdoc? You cannot do this alone. How can we support you?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Today was my grandfather’s memorial service. I was extremely anxious on the way there. I was very worried it would be an open casket, which I HATE and definitely would not have been able to handle for him. But thankfully he has been cremated, which I think is a much better option personally. The service itself, while sad, was very beautiful. I learned a lot of things about my grandfather that I never knew before. In the end, my grandfather’s cousin revealed that he went to visit a few weeks before his death and asked him if there was anything he wanted to pass on to us, specifically to my grandmother. He shared a beautiful poem (how do I love thee, let me count the ways) that my grandfather dedicated to her. If I were a crier, I would have cried then.

My grandmother was definitely distraught but trying hard to remain strong. I’m taking my son up there on Sunday to help her drag her plants in before the first frost.

I’m still quite anxious. Probably leftover anxiety. I took a Xanax and I’m calming down a bit. I really wanted to call out of work tomorrow but alas, I only got one bereavement day at work and had to use PTO for the memorial service. So I’m down to two hours. And anyway, it’s a half day for the students so I only have to be “on” until 12:30. It should be fine.

Hugs, Breeze. Support! Prayers!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Went to the GP today. I have a dark spot on my forehead which my wife just noticed a couple of weeks ago; she insisted I get it checked out. I've known about it for at least a year. Doc says it's not cancerous.

More news on the weather front: the red flag warning got down-graded so the power wasn't shut off. I'm sure you were all worried about that. Anyhow, it's a relief for me because I can still have my morning coffee. They are predicting more high winds early next week though. When will this end?

Finally getting cold here. Hang in there.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

Feeling anxiety about the disability benefits form my doctor has to fill out. I can't lose my income! I just can't!

It will be fine. Have faith!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm doing much better with the Lamictal decrease. My legs aren't shaking, so I was able to walk to the library's curbside pick-up 2 blocks away and get my books that were on hold. So 4 blocks - that's the furthest I've been able to walk since surgery. And walking isn't painful...I feel like I'm in a dream, I'm so accustomed to being in severe pain when I walk.

One of the books I picked up is by Oliver Sacks; essentially it's about the effect of music on our brains.

Oh, good. What a relief!

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm doing much better with the Lamictal decrease. My legs aren't shaking, so I was able to walk to the library's curbside pick-up 2 blocks away and get my books that were on hold. So 4 blocks - that's the furthest I've been able to walk since surgery. And walking isn't painful...I feel like I'm in a dream, I'm so accustomed to being in severe pain when I walk.

One of the books I picked up is by Oliver Sacks; essentially it's about the effect of music on our brains.

I'm glad you're walking further.

I haven't read _Musicophilia_ but I loved his autobiography, _On the Move_. _The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat_ was entertaining and painful, both. It's a look at some of his patients.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm doing much better with the Lamictal decrease. My legs aren't shaking, so I was able to walk to the library's curbside pick-up 2 blocks away and get my books that were on hold. So 4 blocks - that's the furthest I've been able to walk since surgery. And walking isn't painful...I feel like I'm in a dream, I'm so accustomed to being in severe pain when I walk.

One of the books I picked up is by Oliver Sacks; essentially it's about the effect of music on our brains.

That sounds like a really cool book!

[Daonnachd]

@BethRags, I've just read a series of reviews of Musicophilia. I have to find it to read. It sounds fascinating. Thank you for mentioning it.

[Soupe du jour]

Earlier in the evening when the carpet installers FINALLY finished, I took off the wrapping from my injured foot. It looks a little scary. It is very noticeably swollen, with huge bruises on each side. I am glad Hubby saw it because he now takes it more seriously, as I am now. We will go to Urgent Care tomorrow to get it xrayed. Even if there is no fracture, it needs better tending to. It's so hard under the circumstances!

I feel a little upset to my stomach by my neglect and overuse of the foot. I'm not sleeping well.

I was at the Urgent Care center for an xray only about one month ago, but for a different injury. I wonder if they'll be scratching their heads about that.

My husband bought me a cane

@Soupe du jour: Your poor ankle sounds ghastly! Please *do* go to urgent care. I ignored a hurt ankle, thinking it was just a sprain and it never healed properly. I'm sure it was a break. The ankle has something like 100 bones. It's very fragile and complex. I'll look for your post tomorrow telling us how it goes at the hospital.

Good luck!



I felt better after @bpcyclist reassured me about my anxiety (thanks man!)

I've been resisting studying (word lists in an anagramming app) for Scrabble because in some ways it's *not* good for my game. But darn it, it's so fun! So i started again tonight. It will help pass the time until my form is done and distract myself from my anxiety, so i'll just do it for those reasons. I've got to get thru the next seven days somehow. I'll have to discipline myself from hoping and dreaming of being an elite player if i just study enough tho. That's not happening after 20 years of only ever being little more than a somewhat skilled casual player.

Hugs to all who suffer!

[Crazy Hitch]

Just can’t bring myself to apologise to my direct boss for things I did when manic. I’m so embarrassed and I just don’t know what to say. I feel so much anxiety around him I just want to run out of his office or disappear into thin air when I see him.

[Coolbreeze74]

Dang it. We're getting snow tomorrow! Then we're going to have temps in the teens! So it wont melt. I despise snow and ice. Just when things were looking up.

But I didn't have a panic attack tonight! So that's good.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I am so very sorry. I have been in this deep dark place many times before. All I can say is I have always somehow come out on the other side. I hope you will find your way out too.

Thanks. I too have always gotten through even the darkest time of times. Hopefully today will be better.

[daladico]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

What does the curve look like the last threeish days, say?

Moderately “up” the past 3 days, but not severely up thankfully my focus today is going to be to make sure I take breaks at work before my brain gets too “activated”. When I’m at this place and my brain starts “spinning” at work, it often throws me into the full-blown “up” where I can no longer control my mind.
But right now I’m good
Have a good day ✨

[Soupe du jour]

I feel like a caged animal. If I didn't have the injured ankle, I would have long since been up doing things. Also, I wish I could go to the urgent care NOW, but Hubby is dictating when he'll take me. Victim of his slowpockery and procrastination. If I could drive myself, I would, but I can't. Not even in our new automatic transmission car. My old one was manual. I tell you, my loss of some freedoms has been getting on my nerves. It's not just because of the house preparations, but also the pandemic. I am sure that initially people enjoyed more family time, but I think some have had enough.

I sent my hubby the one and only inquiry from Craigslist in response to his books in the Czech language. The inquirer asked for a response asap. I responded saying that I would pass it to my husband. I have bugged Hubby to respond, but right now he's probably sitting on the toilet with his cell phone reading about the mating season of the great horned owl, and hasn't yet responded to the guy.

[daladico]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Thanks. I too have always gotten through even the darkest time of times. Hopefully today will be better.

Thinking of you mountaindewed. Be easy on yourself. Hoping today is better 🖤

[daladico]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I'm heading towards my limit. Truly. I told Hubby that he's got to take some stuff off my hands. I feel like I'm doing 75 to 80% of the work and fighting against all kinds of pressure, including Hubby's unwillingness to get his arse moving and get rid of his extreme excess of crap.

Hey Soupe-
Man I really struggle with this too.
It’s seriously a huge stressor to me.
Have you found anything that helps??
For years I was nice about it, and that didn’t work. Over the past year I’ve had serious talks about it with hubby. And that seemed to semi- get the point across, but no sustained change.
I do NOT want to be the nagging wife, but I can’t keep doing 80% of the work forever. Most of the time I deeply struggle with my mental health and basic every day tasks, and this just makes things worse.
I’ve realized I need to do a better job of advocating for my needs, so I’ve been doing this more frequently.
Anyone have tips to get a lazy hubby help out around the house more?? When they seriously don’t think there’s a problem 🤦 He watches tv for hours and hours every day and barely helps with anything. (this hubby grew up with an amazing mom who did EVERYTHING for him).
I’m not here just to complain- I really want actual advice. Thanks guys.
thanks for posting this Soupe... I hope your hubby steps it up & helps out more 💛

[unlived]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

@Soupe du jour: The ankle has something like 100 bones.

There’s only 3 bones in the ankle - the tibia, fibula and talus.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by daladico

Hey Soupe-
Man I really struggle with this too.
It’s seriously a huge stressor to me.
Have you found anything that helps??
For years I was nice about it, and that didn’t work. Over the past year I’ve had serious talks about it with hubby. And that seemed to semi- get the point across, but no sustained change.
I do NOT want to be the nagging wife, but I can’t keep doing 80% of the work forever. Most of the time I deeply struggle with my mental health, and this just makes things worse.
I’ve realized I need to do a better job of advocating for my needs, so I’ve been doing this more frequently.
Anyone have tips to get a lazy hubby help out around the house more?? When they seriously don’t think there’s a problem 🤦 He watches tv for hours and hours every day and barely helps with anything. (this hubby grew up with an amazing mom who did EVERYTHING for him).
I’m not here just to complain- I really want actual advice. Thanks guys.
thanks for posting this Soupe... I hope your hubby steps it up & helps out more 💛

I think there's usually one in a couple that seems to do a disproportionate amount of work.

Before the house sale and move preparations, the work was much more fairly distributed. In fact, my husband surely did a bit more than I did when I was less able. But now, under great pressure and stress, he's almost frozen, in a sense. I have always been the hustling type and seem to have a much better sense of priorities and action planning. This is a unique time for us, to be sure. My husband has ADD (the non hyper kind). I assume this is part of the issue. It is for him at his job, and from stories it was during his school/university years. Like your mom, my mom did more than my dad. Worked a full time job, was main parental support and emotional support for my dad, cooked, cleaned, and handled all bills. When my mom died, that was a huge shock for all. She was the backbone of the family.

It's good that you have advocated for yourself. I am looking forward to any suggestions from others, on this topic, too.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Earlier in the evening when the carpet installers FINALLY finished, I took off the wrapping from my injured foot. It looks a little scary. It is very noticeably swollen, with huge bruises on each side. I am glad Hubby saw it because he now takes it more seriously, as I am now. We will go to Urgent Care tomorrow to get it xrayed. Even if there is no fracture, it needs better tending to. It's so hard under the circumstances!

I feel a little upset to my stomach by my neglect and overuse of the foot. I'm not sleeping well.

I was at the Urgent Care center for an xray only about one month ago, but for a different injury. I wonder if they'll be scratching their heads about that.

My husband bought me a cane

Just find a minute to get a quick film. Be sure it is okay. You are doing great!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

Just can’t bring myself to apologise to my direct boss for things I did when manic. I’m so embarrassed and I just don’t know what to say. I feel so much anxiety around him I just want to run out of his office or disappear into thin air when I see him.

I understand. Does he know about your illness? Will what you said harm your relationship going forward? Maybe telling the could help? What do you think?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

Dang it. We're getting snow tomorrow! Then we're going to have temps in the teens! So it wont melt. I despise snow and ice. Just when things were looking up.

But I didn't have a panic attack tonight! So that's good.

Ohhhhhhhhh. So not ready for this. It was 80 just the other day!!!! Ugh!!# help!!!