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#876
Nov 03, 2020, 10:39 AM
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I got my diagnosis of Bipolar 1 in early November 2016. I was in the psych ward, and fell asleep on election night. When I woke up, my fellow ward residents told me that Trump won. What an absurd intersection of events..... I am grateful that the past 4 years have been one of mental healing for me. However, it feels like simultaneously, the US was getting bruised and battered beyond repair. I hate to be cynical, but I think Nov 3 will be the continuation / maybe the acceleration of the political garbage. However, just know that you're not alone in hoping for some normalcy. I'm sure I'll be a frequent visitor this site in the days and weeks ahead.
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Diagnosis: Bipolar I w/ Depression Medications: Lamictal Lyrica ECT - once / month |
 *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Nammu, Soupe du jour
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 *Beth*, Soupe du jour
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#877
Nov 03, 2020, 10:51 AM
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No, I was only there for 2 days on my way to Paris. I would love to go back for a week, though.
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| Nammu
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| Nammu
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#878
Nov 03, 2020, 10:59 AM
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Whatever is going on, you sure do know yourself well, you are refreshingly genuine, and your gift of expression is stellar. 
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| Anonymous41462
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#879
Nov 03, 2020, 11:03 AM
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It's good to see you again! Zep is never wrong! Your "pivots" sound excellent.
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#880
Nov 03, 2020, 12:44 PM
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I have therapy in about an hour. I really don’t want to do it but she’s insisting. I feel super woozy right now from the caffeine I’ve had. I’ve been in bed for a few days, since Sunday morning, because I’ve just felt really tired and lightheaded and low energy and just worn out in general. So I had a lot of caffeine today so I wouldn’t spend all day in bed. I feel like I’m just going to spend the entire session shut down. Maybe it won’t be too bad. I wonder if I’m anemic.
My mom wants me to watch the election with her. Actually asked “will you watch it with me?” I guess I have to now. She never asks me to watch anything with her. I had planned on hiding like a baby until it was over. I guess I should watch history though. Part of me has a good feeling about tonight...
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
| *Beth*
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| *Beth*
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#881
Nov 03, 2020, 02:29 PM
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Let up on the caffeine, and sugar, too. If I drank all that I'd be so sick. Lightheaded and woozy, for sure.
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| Mountaindewed
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#882
Nov 03, 2020, 02:45 PM
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Thanks Beth.
Unfortunately, as it ALWAYS happens, my morning motivation has plummeted and I feel utterly knackered out this afternoon. Everything feels so unachievable and out of reach, and my lunch has sent me into a lugubrious, catatonic state. Need to keep reminding myself of the LZ refrain: "there's still time to change the road you're on." Anti-depressants don't fail me now!!!!
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Diagnosis: Bipolar I w/ Depression Medications: Lamictal Lyrica ECT - once / month |
| *Beth*, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*
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#883
Nov 03, 2020, 03:02 PM
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My session was awful. The worst. She mentioned having to tell pdoc stuff again. Mentioned PHPs, IOPs, threw in the words IP a few times. I basically just said I don’t know the whole time. I did say “you don’t care. Your not sorry.” By the time we had 15 minutes left I was on the verge of throwing up and I just couldn’t handle it anymore so we ended 5 minutes early and I basically just hung up on her.
I don’t know what my issue is I truly don’t. Something happened to me but I don’t know what it was.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
| *Beth*, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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#884
Nov 03, 2020, 04:04 PM
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I had planned to do some major grocery shopping today, but lost interest. I'm doing laundry instead and hopefully taking a nap. Part of the reason I lost interest in shopping is because between here and the store there are the jerks in the flag-waving pick-up trucks and on the street waving flags and being really noisy. It burns me that the cops don't intervene, because those people are a traffic hazard.
11/3 and it's 81 degrees. I mean, come on! Friday is predicted to be only 68 lovely degrees, though. The 3rd loudly beeping garbage truck within the past hour has come to pick up dumpster garbage downstairs from my front windows. Obviously the garbage trucks' schedule is screwed up today! Sheesh. Wow, I'm crabby 
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| Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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#885
Nov 03, 2020, 04:29 PM
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Wow! Gas was $1.689 today! You bet I fueled up.
The neighbor lady did our lawn today. She has a big riding mower with three cans attached to the back to suck. Up all the leaves. Then she went around with a basket and rake and picked up in all the hard to mow spots. So I went out and bought candy and a card for her. Hershey is her favorite but they didn’t have that so I got Godiva. Mum’s lawn service doesn’t pick up leaves after the first of November. So it was very nice of her. It’s an amazing 75F degrees outside. Just beautiful. I’m betting it’s a record. My mood is very up, no political stuff and cheap gas, a friendly neighborhood and of course I picked up an extra box of candy for us!
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*, Blue_Bird, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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#886
Nov 03, 2020, 04:46 PM
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WOW! I have not seen gas prices that low since the 90's!
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| Nammu
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#887
Nov 03, 2020, 05:04 PM
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Mountaindewed, I'm sorry you're in such a position with your therapist. It's my guess that she may be overreacting a bit, and that maybe you may not be fully aware of your situation 100% either. A little of both. In any case, I've been there in terms of hanging up or leaving a situation early. You did attend, though. Sometimes it is just too much.
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| bizi, Mountaindewed, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*, Mountaindewed
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#888
Nov 03, 2020, 05:18 PM
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I had to take a Seroquel PRN today because I've been ranting and raving a lot, mostly out of frustration. I just need a break. I need things to go smoothly. I need things that should be happening to happen the way they should. Smooooooooooooooooooothly!
I finished buying Hubby stuff for his name day and birthday. November and December stress me out because they include too much gift-giving, for my taste. I don't really hate gift-giving. Just when it includes deadlines and unreasonable expectations. And because it is all so intense during these months. As for Christmas, I wish we could just skip the whole gift-giving, but I know I couldn't get away with skipping Hubby's November days. He's like a kid when it comes to them. Anyway, I do feel satisfied with what I got him. Useful stuff that doesn't take up much room to pack. In fact, one item is even a new carry on luggage piece. I drove our new car for the very first time, after well over a week having it. It was only for 5 minutes from my house to a CVS pharmacy. It felt very strange! I used to drive a manual transmission Honda Civic that almost felt like a race car...Vroom! Vroom! This is an almost silent spaceship type vehicle. It is a plug-in hybrid. I went from a roll down window, old-fashioned key-operated, radio only vehicle, to having a sophisticated computer of a car with more bells and whistles than I would ever imagine. Heck! It can even show the weather forecast! But then Hubby drove it from CVS to the rest of the errand destinations. After the post office, I asked him if we could go for ice cream. Ice cream isn't even my usual fav, but it seemed to hit the spot. Chocolate with wet walnut topping. Hubby didn't want anything, but I ordered that combo because I knew he'd eat some it. It's his favorite! It actually hurt my ankle a bit trying to drive. I was afraid of that. Even the walking in the grocery store seemed a bit too much. |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, bizi, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Sunflower123
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#889
Nov 03, 2020, 05:28 PM
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I'm home. I took N3 to vote. I called to find out where he had to vote and they said it was the place we went last time even though he's moved. He said there wasn't a line and he got in and out quickly. That was about 2:30. Now that it's after 5, I bet it picks up. I got some zinc at the vitamin store. I was almost out. Now that I'm home, I have Antenna Tv on which won't have any political things on it. Just commercials for life insurance and Medicare supplement programs, blah blah blah. I mute those.
@Mountaindewed I agree with @soup du jour - I think your therapist could be over reacting a bit and you sound overwhelmed. Good for you for making the attempt to talk with her.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*, Mountaindewed, Soupe du jour
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#890
Nov 03, 2020, 06:33 PM
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| bizi
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| *Beth*
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#891
Nov 03, 2020, 07:22 PM
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I truly admire you. I am too anxious to turn CNN off and too anxious having it on. So I have it on, but I'm already feeling way too nervous. Good for you for choosing to be smart.
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| Nammu, Sunflower123
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#892
Nov 03, 2020, 07:23 PM
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I’m nervous. The nurse called after my injection and said my pnurse is making changes. I wasn’t home and didn’t have my phone on me so I have to call back tomorrow to find out what those changes are. Whenever they make changes they make you go back and forth with the nurse so if you have a problem with it, it’s gonna be a couple hours at best but usually a whole day before you hear your docs response. I’ve been on all the meds (well, close enough) and know more about how they affect as far as efficacy and side effects than any professional in that center.
I’m thinking about pleading to get into an IOP I went to 6 years ago. It’s for adolescences and I’m 24 but I think I remember a 23 y/o so they do make exceptions. The doc I had there was the best pdoc I’ve ever seen. Listened to patients, was humble enough to say “I don’t know,” but did research to find the answers, never judged. Only thing I’ve noticed is that he pushes clozapine a lot and it seems like he dxs almost everyone with bipolar disorder. Maybe it was a birds of a feather situation but everyone I talked to there had bp. so, yeah, really curious as to what those changes are, and if my t sent pnurse notes from today because that might affect what those changes are edit: the doc there liked me so much he used me under a different name in a book he wrote Last edited by MuddyBoots; Nov 03, 2020 at 07:47 PM. |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*
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#894
Nov 03, 2020, 07:28 PM
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__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| Anonymous41462, Nammu
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| *Beth*
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#895
Nov 03, 2020, 08:28 PM
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I’m watching the Book Club, great movie. Few ads so nothing political here.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous41462, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*
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#896
Nov 03, 2020, 09:08 PM
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I bargain shopped today! I enjoyed it. It made me smile. I love numbers! I've been feeling slightly better recently. Not going back to bed right after breakfast. Being more active. Feeling some pleasure and excitement. Faint compassion and empathy. It's niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!!! Saving money is a great project for me!
Hugs to all who suffer! 
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| Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*, Sunflower123
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#897
Nov 03, 2020, 09:22 PM
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I'm watching Three's Company. They're at a psychiatrist's office because they are fighting over the things they bought with money Chrissy won from the horse track.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| *Beth*, Nammu, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*
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#899
Nov 03, 2020, 10:00 PM
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__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| *Beth*
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| *Beth*
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#900
Nov 03, 2020, 10:15 PM
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I'm watching a 1988 Johnny Carson episode about the election. Might go to bed before this is over.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| *Beth*
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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