[Daonnachd]

Hello, @NaoSky. Welcome. I am no longer teaching, but did for 10-12 years. So all my best friends are teachers.

Today I'm meeting with my T, picking up a pair of books from the local bookstore, and touching bases about a new job.


...and I'm loving the rain. Definitely no more fires after these torrents.

[bpcyclist]

Took 20 mg Trilafon. They said. Sleepy.

[Mountaindewed]

I got a call from the doctor and I have a bacteria infection. I always get goofy mentally when I have infections and other physical stuff going on. Kinda wondering if that’s why I was so off physically as well. Like tired and stuff. Doc is calling in an antibiotic.

Don’t just assume your mental health sucks. because it could be something physical that will show up on a test.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Took 20 mg Trilafon. They said. Sleepy.

Get some rest. I hope it helps. You did the right thing and I am glad they returned your call quickly.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

...

I’ve been missing my cat that died in August a lot lately. I have two other cats, but they don’t like cuddles or belly rubs.

...

I'm so sorry. There's probably nothing more painful.

Cool that you saw a moose! I've never seen one IRL. Are you near the Canadian border?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Took 20 mg Trilafon. They said. Sleepy.

Okay. Excellent. 20mgs Trilafon I found very helpful. I hope you find the same.

[*Beth*]

What a gorgeous morning! Because of the blessing of rain yesterday and all night the air is finally truly clear of smut from the wildfires in the summer. The sky is technicolor and the trees are colorful.

I'm doing pretty well. Bouts of fear and depression, so far fairly manageable. My biggest problem is feeling that my life is purposeless. My therapist keeps urging me to volunteer when covid is over. I've done so many years of volunteering in my life; I'm just not feeling it these days, except for going back to facilitating the NAMI group, which I genuinely enjoyed.

And of course there's covid, and there's the evil clown leading the White House horror show. Stressful.

I would really love to go to a movie theater and see a movie. That would be amazing. I imagine how I took that for granted! Now locked doors.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm so sorry. There's probably nothing more painful.

Cool that you saw a moose! I've never seen one IRL. Are you near the Canadian border?

Painful indeed, I remember the day he died better than any other day and I just hope he’s not causing too much trouble up there haha.
Kinda close to Canada, I’m about 100 miles from the border.
Happy to hear the air has cleared up in your area!

[Moose72]

I got a call this morning, but they left a message. When I got the message, it was from someone saying they were my new case manager- that my old one left! I liked my old one. I liked the one before her, too, so maybe I'll like this one? She left a message saying to call if I need anything. Left a phone number. At least my pdoc is the same. *Crossing fingers*

[daladico]

Had a hard day yesterday coping with increased covid restrictions (gyms closed again which is my #1 therapy) and relationship challenges. Doing better today. Decided I’m going to restart therapy with a new therapist.

[Soupe du jour]

Sapien, chili sounds yummy! I'm now thinking I might make some within the next week or so. Sorry about your loss of the cuddly kitty. It's hard to get over such losses. I think about my last pet (a parrot) all of the time, wishing he was still with us. Cool you saw a moose. I used to have a bumper sticker on the back of my old car that read "Brake for moose. It could save your life." I think they're interesting animals.

Bpcyclist, thanks for letting us know that you have a treatment plan.

[Blue_Bird]

So, big accomplishment today. I walked over to the pizza/chicken place on the corner and got takeout! I have an insane amount of anxiety and it's even worse when I have to do new things or stuff that puts me out of my comfort zone. I haven't gone into a place and ordered food for myself in years. And I had never been in that particular place before, I just wanted to get some food since my sister said they were good. My mouth was so dry when I was trying to order, a combination of anxiety and med side effects causing that. Anyway, I did it! And another big thing, I actually ate a big slice of pizza and cheesecake tonight which is a big deal because of 2 reasons (eating disorder, and I also have a choking fear). I'm so proud of myself and just wanted to share that with everyone.

Hope everyone is doing okay, and if not, hugs to you!

I'm all crashed-out now. My mood was a little high for about two weeks. Not hypomanic, just a boost in mood. It's okay, i had a great time. And the good thing about not being too high is there's not too far to fall.

Hugs to all who struggle!

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Hello, @NaoSky. Welcome. I am no longer teaching, but did for 10-12 years. So all my best friends are teachers.

Today I'm meeting with my T, picking up a pair of books from the local bookstore, and touching bases about a new job.


...and I'm loving the rain. Definitely no more fires after these torrents.

Did you teach while having bipolar? That’s my biggest challenge. I was ok during the mania, or at least I made it through... now with this depression I feel like I’m a boring teacher and it’s been a struggle to keep up with everything.

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by BethRags

The first way to start to get your life back is to find and use the proper medications. That's my experience, anyway, and what I've seen with others who have bipolar disorder. I've seen people wreck their lives, thinking they can will away a mental illness. I don't think there's anyone who wants to take meds, but mental illness is a brain disorder.


btw, there are some teachers around here.

I’ve tried a lot of meds so far... the consistent one I’ve been on has been lithium. They just increased my dosage, so I want to see what that does before trying to add anything else. I feel like I’m just an experiment... all of the sleep pills I’ve taken barely work. Only trazadone worked the best but after 2 months it stopped working.... and Lunesta barely keeps me asleep 3 hours... I’ve slept up to 4 without any pills, so I figure no sleep pills are better than adding an extra med that doesn’t help. I’m also scared of adding too many types of meds for side effects and long term side effects. I guess I’m just paranoid overall. My mom has had bipolar for a lot of her adult life and never takes any medicine. She cycles but it’s every 5-7 years or so and she’s just learned to adapt to it. If I didn’t have a job and small child I would probably do the same, but I have too many responsibilities....

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Painful indeed, I remember the day he died better than any other day and I just hope he’s not causing too much trouble up there haha.
...

Aw, that makes me laugh and cry. He must have been a real character!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by daladico

Had a hard day yesterday coping with increased covid restrictions (gyms closed again which is my #1 therapy) and relationship challenges. Doing better today. Decided I’m going to restart therapy with a new therapist.

Yeah, we've taken a step back here, too. Closed gyms, theaters, other businesses.


Was it hard to decide to see a new therapist?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

So, big accomplishment today. I walked over to the pizza/chicken place on the corner and got takeout! I have an insane amount of anxiety and it's even worse when I have to do new things or stuff that puts me out of my comfort zone. I haven't gone into a place and ordered food for myself in years. And I had never been in that particular place before, I just wanted to get some food since my sister said they were good. My mouth was so dry when I was trying to order, a combination of anxiety and med side effects causing that. Anyway, I did it! And another big thing, I actually ate a big slice of pizza and cheesecake tonight which is a big deal because of 2 reasons (eating disorder, and I also have a choking fear). I'm so proud of myself and just wanted to share that with everyone.

Hope everyone is doing okay, and if not, hugs to you!

***Congratulations!*** Your accomplishment is huge!

The dry mouth thing is not pleasant at all. (But you made it!) I have a choking fear, too. Hate it.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by NaoSky

I’ve tried a lot of meds so far... the consistent one I’ve been on has been lithium. They just increased my dosage, so I want to see what that does before trying to add anything else. I feel like I’m just an experiment... all of the sleep pills I’ve taken barely work. Only trazadone worked the best but after 2 months it stopped working.... and Lunesta barely keeps me asleep 3 hours... I’ve slept up to 4 without any pills, so I figure no sleep pills are better than adding an extra med that doesn’t help. I’m also scared of adding too many types of meds for side effects and long term side effects. I guess I’m just paranoid overall. My mom has had bipolar for a lot of her adult life and never takes any medicine. She cycles but it’s every 5-7 years or so and she’s just learned to adapt to it. If I didn’t have a job and small child I would probably do the same, but I have too many responsibilities....

It's a good idea, I think, to see how the lithium affects you before adding another med (if necessary).

I don't know what it is with sleep meds...it seems like no matter which med it is, they stop working after a short while. I'll think, "Oh, good, this one works." A week later it's no different than if I had drunk water.

[Moose72]

G had his zoom appointment with the psychiatrist and they sent him straight to the hospital. That's all I know- that they are at the psych ER. I'm assuming he'll be admitted, but I don't know that right now and his appointment was 2 hours ago so they've just started at the ER, basically. I will probably hear in the morning if he got admitted or if they just sent him home. I hope they don't just send him home.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by NaoSky

Did you teach while having bipolar? That’s my biggest challenge. I was ok during the mania, or at least I made it through... now with this depression I feel like I’m a boring teacher and it’s been a struggle to keep up with everything.

@NaoSky, yeah, I taught through both depression and hypomania. (My diagnosis is BPII so I never got too wound up.) Depression is certainly difficult to endure while leading a roomful of eager and energetic learners. The mixed episode was what finally put a stop to my classroom teaching. I feel I'm still a teacher in some ways.

What level do you teach? I taught middle school and secondary school - various subjects.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Moose72

G had his zoom appointment with the psychiatrist and they sent him straight to the hospital. That's all I know- that they are at the psych ER. I'm assuming he'll be admitted, but I don't know that right now and his appointment was 2 hours ago so they've just started at the ER, basically. I will probably hear in the morning if he got admitted or if they just sent him home. I hope they don't just send him home.

I'm glad to read that G is getting the help he needs. I hope he recovers well and is accepting of any diagnosis.

[Soupe du jour]

Well, we accepted an offer for our house today. We had a teleconference with our realtor to review all of the 10 offers. Yea, 10! Most were actually above listing price. The one we accepted was way beyond what we had even hoped for. We are a little worried about the fact that the potential buyer's mortgage company will send an appraiser, which is standard procedure for them. We have a couple minor issues that may not have been obvious to the buyer. Perhaps the appraiser won't notice them, either. Nothing more than cosmetic, but could raise a yellow flag about the past. The buyer does know we've had a roof leak. We had to share that, but it is fixed and we have an inspection certificate. Another good thing is that if the appraisal is a lot less than the accepted offer, the buyer put in the contract that he would offer more money above any low appraisal that is more than that much less than the offered price. I am preparing myself for this. Not so much because of the little imperfection, but because the offer is beyond those of similar houses that have finished basements and hardwood floors. Ours is unfinished and we have laminate, carpeting, and tile, albeit mostly all brand new. We'll see. Anyway, it's not over until it's over. Meaning the future closing date, which may be mid December.

We woke up near a nice beach, then we drove to another nice beach area, then home. It's nice to be home, though. As soon as I was, I switched up some things to be less "staged" and more like a lived-in home. No more showings. Well, hopefully not...assuming nothing goes wrong before a closing.

[daladico]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Yeah, we've taken a step back here, too. Closed gyms, theaters, other businesses.


Was it hard to decide to see a new therapist?

Yes super hard! I did therapy for 3 years with 2 different therapists and didn’t feel like I got much out of it- they were good people, but I never really connected with them and felt like they didn’t really understand.
I’m in a place where I want to grow more so am hoping a new therapist will help challenge me- and help me dig deeper into my identity and my relationship stuff.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

G had his zoom appointment with the psychiatrist and they sent him straight to the hospital. That's all I know- that they are at the psych ER. I'm assuming he'll be admitted, but I don't know that right now and his appointment was 2 hours ago so they've just started at the ER, basically. I will probably hear in the morning if he got admitted or if they just sent him home. I hope they don't just send him home.

That's good news. Hopefully he'll go IP and get the help he needs. Keep us posted.