[Mountaindewed]

My left side is so painful and then the pain goes over to my spleen. This has been going on for several days but it just these last couple days got worse and now It’s getting to the point where walking is difficult. Last night I was in a lot of pain and I haven’t eaten much in a couple days. I know I need to get my mental health checked out as well but I think I need to take care of this first. I think they are overlapping.

[Sunflower123]

I’m doing okay today. I’ve got a big project going on that I’m stalled on and it’s frustrating. I have some internal and external pressure to get it done.

My daughter is coming home next week for two weeks and I have a dilemma. She’ll be around her dad and his family and her stepmom and her stepmom’s family. Talk about being outside the pod! That’s too much covid risk for my liking. I don’t know where these people have been or if they are wearing masks. On top of that her father is a paramedic and police officer. Higher chance of exposure. I’ll really have to think about a solution if I want to see her. I hope an answer comes to me because I have a bad feeling about it.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I've been unhappy about feeling that i have nothing to look forward to but i realize now that i do: on my next birthday in August i turn 55 and will qualify for a vibrant seniors' center we have in my city! So that will be a whole new experience, a whole raft of new people. It will be more a variety of people than the ones i've met in mental health drop-ins these past 25 years. I'll look for a best friend! I'd really like to have one again. The center has programming all the livelong day.

So that's just nine months away. Meantime i can keep growing my hair and have an attractive hairdo for then. I'll have to buy some new clothes too, closer to the time of course. I just have four sweatpants that fit. The center is closed now due to COVID and there's no saying it will be open by August, but our leader hopes we'll have 70% of our population (Canada) vaccinated by next Fall so it's possible.

So: i DO have something to look forward to!!!

Hugs to all who struggle!

I’m so pleased you have something to look forward to! That senior center sounds exciting!

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

I forgot what I last wrote so I apologize if any of this is repetitive.

My mother is now in Hospice care and they are amazing. When she was in a lot of pain and short of breath the other night, her caregiver called hospice, they sent a nurse out and they gave her morphine (she also drew up the liquid morphine in syringes to squirt in my mother's mouth, so no one would have to measure it). Also, the oxycodone arrived by courier just before the nurse arrived. I arrived at the same time.

After about an hour, my mother was comfortable. We talked and it was like she was my mom again. It was very moving and I was happy for her.

I spoke to her last night, and she was high as a kite on Oxy. I told a friend of mine and she said be careful, it's so addictive. Seriously?? My mother is dying, give her her high!! She takes it every 8 hours if she's in pain and it makes her comfortable. She hasn't needed the morphine in addition since the nurse was there. In any case, it was wonderful talking to her: she was happy and chatty.

I'm going to see her today. I took the whole week off from work to be able to see her every day and then will be back to work next week. My mom needs me to help her organize her files and we'll do that today. I ordered her a bunch of new files and what not, because hers are falling apart. Also ordered her a funny, Christmas-themed carnation arrangement that will arrive today. She loves white carnations.

I might spend the night tonight, but if I do it may be at a local hotel. I'm not sure. She used to get up a lot at night, but slept through the night night before last after all those meds. I don't know about last night. But as my pdoc told me at our appointment yesterday, I absolutely must get good night's sleep because that is my #1 trigger for Bipolar episodes.

Whether I plan to spend the night or not, I will bring my meds, including my PRN's, in case, at the last minute, I decide to spend the night because she's not doing well. I was left without them last weekend when she ended up in the hospital, missed two doses, and it was not pretty, on top of all of the stress and sadness.

So she is not expected to live beyond some 6 months. I will do everything I can to make this time as comfortable and happy as possible. I will see her as much as I possibly can.

I am so so so grateful for hospice. They have a whole team of providers looking after her to keep her comfortable, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I will forever be in their debt.

This makes me happy to hear that your mom is being made comfortable. I think this type of care is so important so that patients can enjoy their remaining time with those they love. I am really sorry to hear about your mother's condition, though.

[yellow_fleurs]

Hi all, I am doing alright. I had a work presentation that went really well and I was so relieved because that was a big project I have been working on for awhile! I am less happy about the tiny bugs that arrived in my apartment recently and are going to be hard to get rid of because they are not staying in one spot, but going through everything! Ugh!

My mood has been a bit off. I am stopping the Zoloft due to the akathisia and I also started having irritability plus sometimes my sleep was off. Also, some days I felt really depressed randomly. My psychiatrist agreed I should stop it. I stopped yesterday and wonder if I am experiencing withdrawal symptoms as I feel more irritable today but also kind of tired and tearful. I don't think 5 weeks was long enough to have many withdrawal symptoms, although I am also sort of giving up caffeine around the same time so could be from that, too. Turns out I probably have GERD and while giving up coffee is a bummer, at this point I am relieved to not be having all those GERD symptoms and coughing.

There is a possibility I updated everyone on this already, in which case sorry, my memory can be not the best. Sending everyone compassion!

[MuddyBoots]

We are getting snow tomorrow, yay!

I’m doing better today. Tired. Hungry. Slept 13 hours last night.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m doing okay today. I’ve got a big project going on that I’m stalled on and it’s frustrating. I have some internal and external pressure to get it done.

My daughter is coming home next week for two weeks and I have a dilemma. She’ll be around her dad and his family and her stepmom and her stepmom’s family. Talk about being outside the pod! That’s too much covid risk for my liking. I don’t know where these people have been or if they are wearing masks. On top of that her father is a paramedic and police officer. Higher chance of exposure. I’ll really have to think about a solution if I want to see her. I hope an answer comes to me because I have a bad feeling about it.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Oh, yikes. I know that you so much want to see your daughter, but...the situation sounds really risky.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Oh, yikes. I know that you so much want to see your daughter, but...the situation sounds really risky.

You’re right...it does. Thanks for backing up what my instincts are telling me. I’ll talk to her today. I can’t risk my health or that of my mother and brother.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Sapien

We are getting snow tomorrow, yay!

I’m doing better today. Tired. Hungry. Slept 13 hours last night.

Glad you're doing better! And yay for snow! I love snow We got some the other day

[Mountaindewed]

The first doctor I saw said I most likely have a stomach ulcer. He’s prescribing stuff and wants to see me in 5 days. He says thats why I’m not eating a lot and I’m tired because I’m not sleeping well because of the pain. He’s doing a lot of other blood work. But you can get ulcers from stress and I know my therapist and therapy has been a great deal of stress for me. He also said to stop drinking caffeine and I’ve been drinking it because of how tired I’ve been. So he’s also checking me for mono too. He said if things get worse go immediately to the ER.

I have my next appointment later this afternoon.

I’m not exactly sure what to do now. As I’ve been saying my symptoms are not mental health unless you count possible stress. So if my Pdoc and therapist don’t want to work with me anymore because I’m physically sick then that’s there problem and I just think that is very wrong.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

The first doctor I saw said I most likely have a stomach ulcer. He’s prescribing stuff and wants to see me in 5 days. He says thats why I’m not eating a lot and I’m tired because I’m not sleeping well because of the pain. He’s doing a lot of other blood work. But you can get ulcers from stress and I know my therapist and therapy has been a great deal of stress for me. He also said to stop drinking caffeine and I’ve been drinking it because of how tired I’ve been. So he’s also checking me for mono too. He said if things get worse go immediately to the ER.

I have my next appointment later this afternoon.

I’m not exactly sure what to do now. As I’ve been saying my symptoms are not mental health unless you count possible stress. So if my Pdoc and therapist don’t want to work with me anymore because I’m physically sick then that’s there problem and I just think that is very wrong.

I'm really glad your GP is being thorough. I don't understand why your mental health team wouldn't want to work with you anymore. If anything, they should help you cope with any physical illness you have. If they don't, then they suck.

[Soupe du jour]

I talked to my nephrologist today. He asked about my blood pressure. He decided to add a second blood pressure medication. Boo! I don't know why he couldn't have raised the dose of the other, but something similar happened with Hubby. Apparently they can combine the two meds into one pill, but he wants to keep them separate for now.

My nephrologist also said some other blood test result was abnormal. It was a test that was apparently never ordered before. He wants me to go for a Doppler ultrasound. No, it's not related to the weather. He doesn't know the cause of the abnormality, but wants to be sure it isn't a kidney-related issue. Good grief! All so soon before me moving to Europe. He did say my creatinine level was slightly improved. That's abnormal thanks to past Lithium taking. You know, I really resent that past time taking Lithium. It only did harm to me. It's a long list of harm.

I asked this doc if I should look for a nephrologist in Czech Republic. He said he wants to see some test results first. Otherwise, with my creatinine stable, a GP could take over monitoring that... and also blood pressure stuff.

Right now I take eight different medications, 10 if you count PRN Ativan and regular Seroquel. Of the eight, four are psych meds. That's actually half what I once took. But the pain in the butt is that I need three different Seroquel XR doses to make 650 mg (400+200+50). I will almost feel embarrassed when I see doctors in Czech Republic. I wish I could get down to 600 mg. That would sound easy, but in reality my psychiatrist thinks I am taking 700 mg, when I am not. Perhaps if he lowers it to 650 mg, I will just take 600 mg and keep the 50 mg pills as backups.

It could certainly be much worse. I know that.

[Victoria'smom]

Md, I do hope you go to your intake appointment and tell them everything. Including that your OD's are related to physical pain. They need the whole picture to get you the right treatment.

[*Beth*]

Md, everyone here cares about you. We know only what you've told us, which is that you abuse otc medications and drink enormous amounts of caffeine/sugar. You express severe health anxiety, yet you keep abusing your body. On top of the med abuse and health worries, you aren't honest with your mental health providers. I think I'm speaking for most of us when I say that we're seriously concerned that you will push a bit too far one of these days and either seriously damage your body or truly and fully overdose. I have seen only caring support for you here. True support from friends means that we need to be honest with you. Do you agree?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I talked to my nephrologist today. He asked about my blood pressure. He decided to add a second blood pressure medication. Boo! I don't know why he couldn't have raised the dose of the other, but something similar happened with Hubby. Apparently they can combine the two meds into one pill, but he wants to keep them separate for now.

My nephrologist also said some other blood test result was abnormal. It was a test that was apparently never ordered before. He wants me to go for a Doppler ultrasound. No, it's not related to the weather. He doesn't know the cause of the abnormality, but wants to be sure it isn't a kidney-related issue. Good grief! All so soon before me moving to Europe. He did say my creatinine level was slightly improved. That's abnormal thanks to past Lithium taking. You know, I really resent that past time taking Lithium. It only did harm to me. It's a long list of harm.

I asked this doc if I should look for a nephrologist in Czech Republic. He said he wants to see some test results first. Otherwise, with my creatinine stable, a GP could take over monitoring that... and also blood pressure stuff.

Right now I take eight different medications, 10 if you count PRN Ativan and regular Seroquel. Of the eight, four are psych meds. That's actually half what I once took. But the pain in the butt is that I need three different Seroquel XR doses to make 650 mg (400+200+50). I will almost feel embarrassed when I see doctors in Czech Republic. I wish I could get down to 600 mg. That would sound easy, but in reality my psychiatrist thinks I am taking 700 mg, when I am not. Perhaps if he lowers it to 650 mg, I will just take 600 mg and keep the 50 mg pills as backups.

It could certainly be much worse. I know that.

I'm wishing the very best for you, Soupe. I know how you feel about the meds. I, too, am on 10 meds. I also wish that meds were made in more complete mgs. so no one has to take 3 different doses to equal the single prescribed dose.

I know compounding pharmacies can create custom doses of meds, but they are hard to find and, I suppose, expensive.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Sleep is not great. Oh well. Good bike ride today. Cannot believe we are spending this much money on an airplane. Oh well. We do need it. Easily afford it now. Kust a big purchase. It will make the kids--employees--very happy. Has a big screen tv and internet and 500 movies to watch. Seats turn to cozy beddie byes. The pilots freaking love it. Very green, super fuel efficient engines. A Boeing 787. Dreamliner, I guess. Nonstop from Portland to Singapore, no problem. Will take my whole team, 40 people.guess I am excited about it. I will spend anything to stop suicides. Love and hugs.

How do you afford all this? An entire Boeing 787 Dreamliner?? Even if you do have the money, you are going way over the top with your spending. I say you're still manic. Please report these purchases to your pdoc asap. They need to know what's going on.

[Mountaindewed]

The other appointment went ok. Painful as hell. But I just feel so sick. I am physically unable to eat anything and my side and back really hurts. My temp goes between 95 and 98.8. And I have these hot and cold flashes. And I am beyond exhausted.

I will go to the intake appointment if my therapist and Pdoc still think I should. Right now I just can’t do anything until Monday.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

The other appointment went ok. Painful as hell. But I just feel so sick. I am physically unable to eat anything and my side and back really hurts. My temp goes between 95 and 98.8. And I have these hot and cold flashes. And I am beyond exhausted.

I will go to the intake appointment if my therapist and Pdoc still think I should. Right now I just can’t do anything until Monday.

I think it's great that you saw your doctors today. Self care is what recovery is all about.

[*Beth*]

I took a walk on this absolutely gorgeous autumn day. I had surgery on my achilles tendon in May and it is amazing to walk without pain! My challenge now is, because I was unable to walk more than around my apartment for several months, to regain my stamina. It's slow going, especially on meds that make me feel off balance. But, I continue to work on it.

I'm feeling mostly stable, though I recognize that the depression I was having last week hovers close by. I suppose I do need to be using the light box, which I have not done in 3 days . I will definitely use it tomorrow.

The county in which I live is on the verge of going into lockdown again. I expect to hear of it any time. *sigh*

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I talked to my nephrologist today. He asked about my blood pressure. He decided to add a second blood pressure medication. Boo! I don't know why he couldn't have raised the dose of the other, but something similar happened with Hubby. Apparently they can combine the two meds into one pill, but he wants to keep them separate for now.

My nephrologist also said some other blood test result was abnormal. It was a test that was apparently never ordered before. He wants me to go for a Doppler ultrasound. No, it's not related to the weather. He doesn't know the cause of the abnormality, but wants to be sure it isn't a kidney-related issue. Good grief! All so soon before me moving to Europe. He did say my creatinine level was slightly improved. That's abnormal thanks to past Lithium taking. You know, I really resent that past time taking Lithium. It only did harm to me. It's a long list of harm.

I asked this doc if I should look for a nephrologist in Czech Republic. He said he wants to see some test results first. Otherwise, with my creatinine stable, a GP could take over monitoring that... and also blood pressure stuff.

Right now I take eight different medications, 10 if you count PRN Ativan and regular Seroquel. Of the eight, four are psych meds. That's actually half what I once took. But the pain in the butt is that I need three different Seroquel XR doses to make 650 mg (400+200+50). I will almost feel embarrassed when I see doctors in Czech Republic. I wish I could get down to 600 mg. That would sound easy, but in reality my psychiatrist thinks I am taking 700 mg, when I am not. Perhaps if he lowers it to 650 mg, I will just take 600 mg and keep the 50 mg pills as backups.

It could certainly be much worse. I know that.

Would you mind telling me more about your problems with Lithium? I’m on a supposedly low dose according to my NP but I’d be interested to know your experience.

[Mountaindewed]

The pain in my left side is enormous. My mom is running to the store to get Tylenol. The doctor said that’s the only thing I can take. I’m wondering if it’s my kidneys. I am thinking of going to the ER but I’ll try the Tylenol. I don’t know if my mom can come into the ER with me and I need her to make decisions and communicate with them. She’s trying to get power of attorney regarding medical stuff.

I’m in bed now and this usually when I take something. But I’m not.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Would you mind telling me more about your problems with Lithium? I’m on a supposedly low dose according to my NP but I’d be interested to know your experience.

Hi Jennifer. I want to say that I know that many people benefit greatly from Lithium, and don't get many (or at least not severe) side effects. I'm one of the less lucky types, though I can say that I never experienced significant toxicity from it. Another good thing I'll say (before I list the bad) is that it was weight neutral for me. That's not the case for many, though.

When I first started taking Lithium ER, I took 1,200 mg per day (I guess 600 mg morning & 600 mg at night). Later down the line I took 900 mg day (I think 300 mg in the morning, and 600 mg at night). In order of the most severe/significant side effects:

1. Kidney damage - This is why I see a nephrologist. It's important that pdocs test creatinine levels frequently, along with testing Lithium levels. My kidneys will likely always have some damage, but as long as I don't take Lithium anymore, I may be able to prevent FURTHER damage. I must prevent other kidney damaging illnesses (like diabetes type 2), because my kidneys are compromised.

2. Hypothyroidism - This is a common side effect. My thyroid is shot. I think some people's can recover a little if they stop Lithium as soon as the thyroid seems affected. In my case, a pdoc decided to continue me on Lithium even with an affected thyroid, so it worsened and worsened. Nowadays, I take 150 mcg of levothyroxine (Synthroid), a high dose. The good thing is that with treatment, I'm fine. However, I will need levothyroxine for the rest of my life.

3. Cystic Acne - This was quite unpleasant when I was on Lithium. The good thing is that after about 1 year off of Lithium, my skin finally was nice and clear. On Lithium, I could never get it perfectly clear.

4. Polyuria/Polydipsia - I peed a lot and was always thirsty as hell. It was sort of related to kidneys, but I think people get these conditions without necessarily having kidney damage. Advice: Drink a lot of water, even if it requires numerous pee breaks.

5. Mild Nausea - I didn't always have it, but it was troublesome when I would start Lithium again after not taking it for a while. I popped a lot of antacids.

6. Cognitive effects - I always felt like my brain was in the clouds a bit. I never realized how much until I was off of Lithium for a couple months. The clouds cleared and the sun was shining brightly. Cognitively, I'm much sharper off of Lithium.

7. Balance issues and hand tremors - This went away after going off Lithium, but while on Lithium, it was bothersome. If I had been a dancer or musician, it would have been a no-go.

8. Hair thinning - I used to have a thick mop of hair before Lithium. Gradually, my hair thinned a bit. It's never been quite the same, since, but luckily I had enough hair that no bald spots resulted. My hair is curly, too, so that's also nice. The thinning eased after going off.

9. Skin and fingernail texture changes - My skin became very dry and I almost felt I was aging quicker. However, a while after stopping Lithium, my skin became rejuvenated. As for fingernails, Lithium seemed to harden them. That was actually one positive. They're now again very soft, as they were pre-Lithium.

10. Sucks to be on a first name basis with numerous phlebotomists. I forget how often I had to have Lithium levels done. A lot!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Hi Jennifer. I want to say that I know that many people benefit greatly from Lithium, and don't get many (or at least not severe) side effects. I'm one of the less lucky types, though I can say that I never experienced significant toxicity from it. Another good thing I'll say (before I list the bad) is that it was weight neutral for me. That's not the case for many, though.

When I first started taking Lithium ER, I took 1,200 mg per day (I guess 600 mg morning & 600 mg at night). Later down the line I took 900 mg day (I think 300 mg in the morning, and 600 mg at night). In order of the most severe/significant side effects:

1. Kidney damage - This is why I see a nephrologist. It's important that pdocs test creatinine levels frequently, along with testing Lithium levels. My kidneys will likely always have some damage, but as long as I don't take Lithium anymore, I may be able to prevent FURTHER damage. I must prevent other kidney damaging illnesses (like diabetes type 2), because my kidneys are compromised.

2. Hypothyroidism - This is a common side effect. My thyroid is shot. I think some people's can recover a little if they stop Lithium as soon as the thyroid seems affected. In my case, a pdoc decided to continue me on Lithium even with an affected thyroid, so it worsened and worsened. Nowadays, I take 150 mcg of levothyroxine (Synthroid), a high dose. The good thing is that with treatment, I'm fine. However, I will need levothyroxine for the rest of my life.

3. Cystic Acne - This was quite unpleasant when I was on Lithium. The good thing is that after about 1 year off of Lithium, my skin finally was nice and clear. On Lithium, I could never get it perfectly clear.

4. Polyuria/Polydipsia - I peed a lot and was always thirsty as hell. It was sort of related to kidneys, but I think people get these conditions without necessarily having kidney damage. Advice: Drink a lot of water, even if it requires numerous pee breaks.

5. Mild Nausea - I didn't always have it, but it was troublesome when I would start Lithium again after not taking it for a while. I popped a lot of antacids.

6. Cognitive effects - I always felt like my brain was in the clouds a bit. I never realized how much until I was off of Lithium for a couple months. The clouds cleared and the sun was shining brightly. Cognitively, I'm much sharper off of Lithium.

7. Balance issues and hand tremors - This went away after going off Lithium, but while on Lithium, it was bothersome. If I had been a dancer or musician, it would have been a no-go.

8. Hair thinning - I used to have a thick mop of hair before Lithium. Gradually, my hair thinned a bit. It's never been quite the same, since, but luckily I had enough hair that no bald spots resulted. My hair is curly, too, so that's also nice. The thinning eased after going off.

9. Skin and fingernail texture changes - My skin became very dry and I almost felt I was aging quicker. However, a while after stopping Lithium, my skin became rejuvenated. As for fingernails, Lithium seemed to harden them. That was actually one positive. They're now again very soft, as they were pre-Lithium.

10. Sucks to be on a first name basis with numerous phlebotomists. I forget how often I had to have Lithium levels done. A lot!

Wow! Thank you for your thorough response. I’m sorry you have kidney damage and everything else that went along with your use of Lithium. That’s terrible! Thank you also for reminding me indirectly that those blood tests are important and not to be put off.

[Daonnachd]

When the fires roared through one of my sons' best friends lost his house. Now he's moving in with us for the duration of his university career since we live in the town where he's going to school. He's a mature kid and we're on great terms with his parents who now live in Idaho, but it's the stress of having another person in the house. He's supposed to arrive any minute now.

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

When the fires roared through one of my sons' best friends lost his house. Now he's moving in with us for the duration of his university career since we live in the town where he's going to school. He's a mature kid and we're on great terms with his parents who now live in Idaho, but it's the stress of having another person in the house. He's supposed to arrive any minute now.

I just wanna say opening up your home to someone new is never a easy thing, and I commend you for being so gracious! People talk the talk but rarely actually walk the walk when it comes down to it. I'm sure he's so grateful for your hospitality. I know it's added stress but you're doing a great thing and I wish more people like you existed in the world!